Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:05
Denizens, the eulogy for WFB will need to wait another day or so. Pegasus is sailing through the Migraine Nebula at the moment, if you know what I mean.
Soon as Kevorkian whips up the Theragen Derivative, posting will once again commence.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 11:36
William F. Buckley, Jr, the father of modern conservatism, has passed away at age 82.
I’ll have more later.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:27
The Department of “With ‘Friends’ Like This…” brings us this comforting blurb that tells far more about John-Boy McZhamnesty than all his protestations to us about how “conservative” he supposedly is.
See, to McLamess, Christians like Pat Robertson & the late Jerry Falwell are “agents of intolerance”. Those of us who have had it up to here with illegal border crossings and giving out undeserved aid to illegal aliens – why, we’re “nativists”. McFuckhead has been lauded as being a “maverick” for years by the Lame Stream Media – because he dares to give the business to the conservative base whose votes he now seeks.
But just dare to point out the middle name of one of the Demoscummic presidential candidates, and it’s utterly amazing how McRINO will swoop in at warp speed to defend this buddies.
Republican John McCain quickly denounced the comments of a radio talk show host who while warming up a campaign crowd referred repeatedly to Barack Hussein Obama and called the Democrat a “hack, Chicago-style” politician.
At this point, I will ask all of you out there the exact same question I ask about what John Rocker said about New York
Shitty City: What was it that got said that wasn’t true?
Hussein is Obama’s middle name, but talk show host Bill Cunningham used it three times as he addressed the crowd before the likely Republican nominee’s appearance.
“Now we have a hack, Chicago-style Daley politician who is picturing himself as change. When he gets done with you, all you’re going to have in your pocket is change,” Cunningham said as the audience roared.
The time will come, Cunningham added, when the media will “peel the bark off Barack Hussein Obama” and tell the truth about his relationship with indicted fundraiser Antoin “Tony” Rezko and how Obama got “sweetheart deals” in Chicago.
Okay, now let’s see: He didn’t use the so-called “N-word”; he didn’t make references to “fiied chicken” or “collard greens” or “watermelon” – or, for that matter “fish don’ fry in da kitchen, beans don’ burn onna grill”. Nor did we hear anything even remotely resembling “macaca”.
So what, exactly, is effin’ wrong here?
McCain wasn’t on stage nor in the building when Cunningham made the comments, but he quickly distanced himself from them and the talk show host after finishing his speech. McCain spoke to a couple hundred people at Memorial Hall in downtown Cincinnati.
“I apologize for it,” McCain told reporters, addressing the issue before they had a chance to ask the Arizona senator about Cunningham’s comments.
Thus sayeth McWuss the Spineless. The champion of Campaign Finance Reform. The hero of the 527.
The butcher of the First Amendment.
“I did not know about these remarks but I take responsibility for them. I repudiate them,” he said. “My entire campaign I have treated Senator Obama and Senator (Hillary Rodham) Clinton with respect. I will continue to do that throughout this campaign.
How about you let other people have their say and shut your own piehole about it, McLameSlimemold? You know – LIKE THE FIRST AMENDMENT SAYS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO?!
McCain called both Democrats “honorable Americans” and said “I want to dissociate myself with any disparaging remarks that may have been said about them.”
Professional courtesy, after all: One slimebucket looking after another.
Asked whether the use of Obama’s middle name—the same as former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein—is proper, McCain said: “No, it is not. Any comment that is disparaging of either Senator Clinton or Senator Obama is totally inappropriate.”
Hey, it’s not our fault his parents decided to adorn the bozo with a Muslim name, McZhamnesty, you dumb fuck. And if we want to point that out, what are you going to do about it? Pin that so-called “agents of intolerance” bullshit label on us again?
You’re supposed to be campaigning for our votes, remember? Are you sure you wanna piss off your base that much more?
McCain said he didn’t know who decided to allow Cunningham to speak but said he was sure it was in coordination with his campaign. He said he didn’t hear the comments and has never met Cunningham, but “I will certainly make sure that nothing like that happens again.”
Yeah, and we’ll make sure we remember that come November.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:09
Okay, the lawsuit on this incident is all but assured.
But five’ll get you ten that within the month, you’re going to see Congressional hearings on this matter, and Donnie Carty and crew are going to be hauled up before Senate committees to give an account of themselves.
And I won’t even begin to speculate on how quickly it’ll take McZhamnesty, the Duchess Hilarious and B. Hussein
Osama Obama to make political hay over this.
AMR Corp, you guys have just bit the big one on this. “Get your popcorn ready”, as T.O. is wont to say – this is gonna get really interesting, really fast.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 11:10
[Scene: the engineering section of Pegasus, where main power is still offline, thanks to Ozymandias McCool's refusal to heed Merlin's warning about not trying to optimize the computer core while the computer was still in operation. Captain Korrioth has joined Merlin at the computer station which exploded in Ozy's face, and is attempting to assist Merlin in bringing the panel back online. Off to the side, a medic tends to Ozy, who has stirred and is now beginning to come around, though it appears he's suffered a concussion.
As we look in, the computer panel is not cooperating with either Korrioth or Merlin.]
MERLIN: Check the T37 junction circuit.
KORRIOTH (tricorder in hand): Confirmed…no, wait. Looks like a microfracture in the optical filament. See if you can bypass.
MERLIN: (toggles three switches, then hits a button) Okay, try that.
KORRIOTH: Better. I think we may be ready to re-engage systems. Give it a shot.
[Merlin rises and goes over to the dilithium chamber, flips a couple of switches, then hits the big switch on the breaker box. The ship lurches for about half a second, but otherwise remains dark.]
MERLIN: Damn! Dammit!!!
KORRIOTH: (several Klingon curses which can’t really be repeated in mixed company)
MERLIN: That was supposed to at least restore main power! What the fuck is wrong with this ship?
[The slightly-ajar Engineering doors part even further, and in walks His Rudeness, who doesn't look terribly happy.
KORRIOTH: Main power still down, Admrial. We believe we've successfully bypassed the blown junctions in the computer, but the ship still refuses to respond.
LSIK&T: Awright, which panel was it that blew up on you, Merlin?
MERLIN: (gulp) Right this way, m'Lord.
[Merlin guides Spats over to the spot where Ozy had been sitting. The admiral begins to examine the panel.]
LSIK&T: Hmmmmm. Burned out T37 junction…scorch marks around the M5 toggle…what are these three switches doing toggled on…?
[A look of realization has crossed Lord Spatula's visage - he's seen this before. He straightens, glances over at a still-groggy Ozy, then turns and faces Merlin with a very angry, accusatory glare.]
LSIK&T: I thought I gave you a direct order never to optimize this motherfucker while the ship was in motion?!
MERLIN (cringing visibly): Your Eminence, I tried to warn him, I…
[His Rudeness waves his hand towards Merlin. Merlin goes flying backwards, his head hitting the same bulkhead that KO'd Ozy, and falls to the deck, motionless.
LSIK&T (growling): I don't want to hear it. Mr. Korrioth, how far have repairs proceeded?
KORRIOTH: As Mr. Merlin told you, sir, we've bypassed all the circuits we believe were damaged, but the ship does not respond. We were beginning another diagnostic when you walked in.
LSIK&T: (smirking) Do you begin all your diagnostics with colorful Klingon invective, Kor?
[Spats turns back to the blown panel, flips three switches, hits a button to the side, waits three seconds, then slams his fist into the bulkhead above the blown panel. Immediately the lights come back up and the ship's engines resume their normal hum. Korrioth stares at His Rudeness in disbelief.]
LSIK&T: Do a Level 2 diagnostic on the propulsion and tactical systesm and advise me as soon as you’re done so we can get back underway.
KORRIOTH: Aye, sir.
LSIK&T: And have Kevorkian over there haul McCool’s & Merlin’s shit-for-brains carcasses to sickbay. And then once McCool’s back on his feet, he’s to spend 30 minutes in the Agony Booth having it drilled into his head that you don’t fuck with the computer core while the ship’s in flight.
KORRIOTH: Admiral, we don’t have an Agony Booth.
LSIK&T: Then build one, you bumpy-headed dumbass! I’m sick & tired of my ship getting disabled because my engineers have all the sense of the fuckwits I have Rayegun rule over out in the Outer Rim, you hear? Where the fuck did McCool come from, anyway???
KORRIOTH: Uh…he was a conscript from the Outer Rim, sir.
LSIK&T: See? My point. Now get your ass in gear, bumpy!~
[Korrioth winces, then turns and leaves Engineering to do His Rudeness' bidding.]
Okay, Denizens, the Big Box is back up and running, so it’s back to
downloading naked jpegs pirating ’80s rock anthems reading the news and commenting thereupon.
Thatisall. Carry on.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:03
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:39
(Hat tip Misha, who got it from the Inoperable Terran.)
Taking a page from the Demoscummic playbook, Ibrihim “Pooper Scooper” Hooper and the pedophile-worshipping fuckwads at CAIR are trying to deny Charles Johnson and the boys at LGF of their rights guaranteed them by Article I of the Bill of Rights.
Charles, naturally, cut off their balls and shoved them back down their throats. Figuratively speaking only, alas.
Hey, Ibrihim!!! Your boy Allah is dead as a doornail, and his so-called “prophet” was a pedophilic pansy-assed pussy!
Come do something about it, you syphilitic son-of-a-pork-bellied-bitch. I fucking dare you.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:02
[Scene: onboard Pegasus, in the Engineering section. Chief Engineer Ozymandias McCool is working on a computer console, inputting equations. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches a glimpse of Engineer Emeritus Merlin approaching.
MERLIN: On what dost thou workest, Ozy?
OZY MCCOOL: Hi, Merlin. I'm optimizing the computer core...that is, when it cooperates with me.
MERLIN: You're supposed to take the core offline before you do that, else it'll crash and the ship'll...
OZY MCCOOL: Sssshhhh! I'm almost done perfecting this subroutine!
MERLIN: Ozy, I strongly recommend th---
[They are both interrupted by a loud BANG!!!!!!! and an explosion of sparks from the panel, which knocks Ozy back about 10 feet. The back of his noggin smacks the bulkhead and he falls face first to the deck.
Meanwhile, the ship has gone completely dark and dropped out of warp; the emergency lights come up a couple of seconds later.]
MERLIN: —that you find a place to hide before Korrioth gets down here.
LSIK&T (over speaker, sounding very pissed): Bridge to Engineering, report!!!
MERLIN: Admiral, we’ve had a computer crash…(looks at Ozy, still unconscious)…cause unknown. I’ve started a diagnostic, but we’re going to be here for a time.
LSIK&T (growling): Very well, Wizard. Keep me informed. Bridge out.
Denizens, it’s been eighteen months since I last reimaged the Big Box, so I’m taking part of the Presidents’ Day holiday to redo it. Assuming all goes well, posting shouldn’t suffer.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 13:17
To no one’s ghastly surprise, Republican moderate (emphasis intended) George H.W. Bush endorsed John-Boy McZhamnesty for president today.
But it was this paragraph that caught my eye:
Mr Bush dismissed criticism of Mr McCain’s conservative credentials by some high-profile commentators as “grossly unfair”.
He said Mr McCain had “a sound conservative record” and also praised his ability to reach across the aisle to the Democrats when needed.
Pardon me for saying so, George H. Shrubya Seen-your…but unless my memory’s playing tricks on me again, you yourself got your RINO ass soundly trounced from office after only one term FOR PRECISELY THAT REASON, DIDN’T YOU?!?!?!?!?1ONE!!
Or had you forgotten that you made a pledge to us at the 1988 Republican National Convention, then reached across the aisle and shattered that pledge three years later????
And now you have the unmitigated gall to be annoyed with us???
I got five words for you, Seen-your:
Eff. You. Gee. Haitch*. Dubya.
Yet another reason not to vote for McLameass…
*William Regal fans will understand the reference.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 14:22
Item: Chuckles Barkley, that bastion of morality ( ) and a bona fide expert on the subject if ever there was one ( ), sez that conservatives are “fake Christians”, adding that
“Every time I hear the word ‘conservative’ it makes me sick to my stomach.”
Item: Psychiatrist Lyle Rossiter makes the case that, as Michael Savage has stated, liberalism is indeed a mental disorder.
“Based on strikingly irrational beliefs and emotions, modern liberals relentlessly undermine the most important principles on which our freedoms were founded,” says Dr. Lyle Rossiter, author of the new book, “The Liberal Mind: The Psychological Causes of Political Madness.” “Like spoiled, angry children, they rebel against the normal responsibilities of adulthood and demand that a parental government meet their needs from cradle to grave.”
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 23:30
[Scene: Aboard a Martok-class dreadnought, as yet unnamed. In the Engineering section, a swarthy Klingon (but we repeat ourselves) oversees several more Klingons, five or six Cardassians, a couple of Gorn and about eight or nine Naussicans. The Klingon overlord carries a painstick with him, and he's not necessarily above using it to make a point every now and then - although the Klingons under his command seems to relish that sort of thing. Never mind.
Off to the side, about 10 feet from the overlord, a large mass of energy shimmers into view. The mass solidifies to reveal His Rudeness, Merlin, Chief Engineer Ozymandias McCool and Captain Korrioth. The overlord moves to greet them.]
KLINGON OVERLORD: Admiral. To what do we owe the privilege?
LSIK&T: We noticed that you’re a little behind schedule, Commander K’tinghe. Is everything okay over here?
CMDR. K’TINGHE (gulping audibly – he was hoping they wouldn’t have noticed): We…uh…we’ve run into a few difficulties with some of the materials that those damned Ferengi sold us.
KORRIOTH (angrily): You were supposed to procure those materials from the Shelliak!!!
CMDR. K’TINGHE: They wouldn’t sell to us…!!!
LSIK&T: Easy, gentlemen. Commander, I expect to be notified when issues like this arise. This vessel is to become the flagship of the Realm fleet, and I want no surprises when it undergoes its maiden voyage. Do I make myself clear, sir?
[There is unmistakeable fear in Cmdr K'tinghe's eyes now as he nods his head violently.]
CMDR. K’TINGHE: I beg forgiveness, m’Lord. I will redouble my efforts!
LSIK&T: That’s appreciated, Commander. We will pay a visit to the Shelliak and…ah…smooth over the misunderstanding.
CMDR. K’TINGHE: Thank you, m’Liege.
LSIK&T (to Korrioth): Captain, return to Pegasus and lay in a course for the Shelliak Corporate. I’ll join you shortly. And contact Spacedock and have a contingent of quantum torpedoes loaded into the weapons bay.
KORRIOTH (grinning broadly): Aye.
Denizens, work on the IV project had slowed to a virtual crawl, but I’ve managed to get at least a little bit of work done on it. Hope to have more news soon.
As always, watch this space.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:10
Y’know, I’m well aware that this lawsuit isn’t going to go anywhere – but DammitAllToHell, just once I wish justice could be served.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:49
As you guys probably know, an asswad dressed in black staged his own St. Valentine’s Day massacre in a lecture hall at Northern Illinois University earlier today.
In other words, another mass shooting on another campus…in another state where there are no concealed carry laws and you have to have a permit to even own a gun.
Which is to say, yet another place where the sheep can’t legally defend themselves.
Five are dead so far (UPDATE: Seven now – LSI), and one can’t help but wonder if that was
five seven more than could’ve been had someone capped the son-of-a-bitch before he started pulling the trigger on the shotgun.
And I doubt I need to point out that this state is home to one of the presidential candidates…and I sure as Hell don’t need to tell you which one, do I?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 19:53
Conventional wisdom supposedly holds that, once the Republican National Convention gets gaveled to a close, all conservatives will fall in like lemmings and get behind the Presumptive Nominee, John-Boy McZhamnesty.
Hmmmm. Not so fast there, Rockefeller.
GodTube.com today announced that despite last night’s sweeping victory for John McCain, a stunning new GodTube.com poll reveals that if McCain wins his party’s nomination, Christian Conservatives would rather vote for one of the two Democratic candidates.
With a slim 9.1% support for McCain, and Huckabee a long shot for the nomination, Obama has become a viable choice for many Christian Conservatives with 26.3% of the Christian vote, up 8% from last week.
We’ll forget for a moment that both the Manchurian Muslim and the Duchess Hilarious are not all that much to the left of even McRINO. If there’s even a hint of truth to these numbers, McLame is in big trouble even before the convention.
Contrary to popular Rockefeller Republican belief, the GOP cannot win without the Christian evangelical vote. We’re a bigger part of the base than the blue-bloods think – Christians, if memory serves, didn’t exactly come out in droves in ’96, did they?
So, how did President Dole fare that year?
Mark my words, GOP: We’re the last part of the conservative base you want to piss off. And you’ve already pissed us off.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 20:03
Action: B. Hussein Obama, the Manchurian Muslim (yes, Alan K. Henderson, you may steal that one), sweeps this weekend’s Demoscummic primaries in Louisiana, Nebraska, Washington State and Maine, overtaking the Duchess Hilarious for the lead in overall Donk delegates.
Reaction: The Duchess sacks her campaign manager-ita. (Don’t believe that bullshit about her “stepping down”. She was canned – most likely with some well-placed anti-beaner invective, y’know?)
(SIDE NOTE: Yeah, LULAC, I said “beaner”. Come do something about it if you don’t like it.)
Observation: You guys don’t suppose Hilarious is getting a little antsy, d’ya?