Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

As you may have seen in the recent post, things down here have been a wee bit up tempo lately.

Hence I feel the overwhelming urge to say this:

37 days until my summer leave/liberty/sabbatical/respite/vacation commences!

Now I feel MUCH better.

ThatIsAll™

{Cross-posted from the Southern Command HQ notification system}

Okay all you Southern Command constituents, it’s that time of year to make preparations for the annual New Year’s Day tradition of black-eyed peas.

Here’s a good recipe for the peas.

Now remember, the tradition is

The practice of eating black-eyed peas for luck is generally believed to date back to the Civil War. At first planted as food for livestock, and later a food staple for slaves in the South, the fields of black-eyed peas were ignored as Sherman’s troops destroyed or stole other crops, thereby giving the humble, but nourishing, black-eyed pea an important role as a major food source for surviving Confederates.

Today, the tradition of eating black-eyed peas for the New Year has evolved into a number of variations and embellishments of the luck and prosperity theme including:

•Served with greens (collards, mustard or turnip greens, which varies regionally), the peas represent coins and the greens represent paper money. In some areas cabbage is used in place of the greens.

•Cornbread, often served with black-eyed peas and greens, represents gold.

And finally, some things to remember whilst you go about your celebrating:

•For the best chance of luck every day in the year ahead, one must eat at least 365 black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day.

•Black-eyed peas eaten with stewed tomatoes represent wealth and health.

•In some areas, actual values are assigned with the black-eyed peas representing pennies or up to a dollar each and the greens representing anywhere from one to a thousand dollars.

•Adding a shiny penny or dime to the pot just before serving is another tradition practiced by some. When served, the person whose bowl contains the penny or dime receives the best luck for the New Year, unless of course, the recipient swallows the coin, which would be a rather unlucky way to start off the year.

The catch to all of these superstitious traditions is that the black-eyed peas are the essential element and eating only the greens without the peas, for example, will not do the trick.

ThatIsAll™

And enjoy your celebration responsibly. You are hereby ordered to return to duty promptly on January 2nd. Do I make myself clear, soldier?

Yes? Then DISMISSED!™

As we fade out from black, we see our intrepid command team huddled around the General’s Command Console intently looking at the screen. Faces are cringed, brows are furled, and a more than a few of the staff gathered are chewing on already nubby fingernails. Obviously it’s been a longgggggggg night.

{whispered conversations can be heard in the periphery}

SG RAYEGUN: I hope to hell that your job isn’t on the line AGAIN, techboy! I hate when I have to find someone with a clue. There are so few of them left these days!!

SSGT BANNER: Sir, would I be wearing this green bodysuit and be doped up on steroids….oh wait, wrong room. Seeya!

ALL: WTH??

LT KIM: General, I assure you there will not be a need for such measures. We have complete confidence in our work and this new system. Mr. Gates and Mr. Ballmer have assured us, repeatedly I might add, that there will not be a repeat performance.

SG RAYEGUN: For your sake, I hope so. Very well lieutenant, flip the switch.

LT KIM: Yessir.

CAPT ROGERS: Defense teams, take your positions, lock and load, safety off, set to maximum power. This is not a drill, I repeat THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

SG RAYEGUN: {looks untoward at the officer} Just a wee bit of overkill there captain???

CAPT ROGERS: Sir, you do remember the last time?

{the assembled mass mumbles and tries to support the captain while backing up as the general gets up from his chair}

SG RAYEGUN: One more snarky comment like that CAPTAIN and you’ll be a no stripe AIRMAN in less than 3 seconds. Do I make myself clear?

CAPT ROGERS:{visibly cringing} Umm yes sir…..

SG RAYEGUN: Get on with it already lieutenant. I’ve got work to do.

{camera pans left to see LT KIM flipping a big yellow switch while his other hand hovers precariously close to the emergency shutdown button}

LT KIM: {visibly relieved as he slowly pulls his hand back from the emergency shutdown} All systems normal, efficiency at 105%. Command ability at your discretion sir.

SG RAYEGUN: {the general punches in his access code and proceeds to get back to work} Thank you lieutenant. Nice job folks. You all get to keep your positions and rank. For now. Dismissed™

ALL: YESSIR!

{as the camera returns to center stage, flies in over the generals head, and zooms in to the Command Console screen}

Yes folks, the Southern Command has officially commenced its conversion to Windows 8 Pro. My big box is fully functional, minus a few minor utility apps. Things are running better than the clean install of Windows 7 Ultimate but getting used to the new UI will be fun. Luckily I’ve had Win8 running in a virtual session and have had time to play around with the UI in the sandbox. One bonus I did discover, and Darth you’ll find this most interesting. It seems that Microsoft finally got the clue. In IE10 a long-standing oversight has been corrected. As Darth has previously been wantonly rambling on about how this fine blog had its appearance “quirks” under IE (namely it was left-shifted on the page, not centered like with Firefox, Chrome, etc), well I can tell you now that it has been fixed. See below for the proof:

Darth, you’re welcome.

If you can, go check out Win8. If you don’t like the Win8 UI, you can always switch to the desktop view and just run things from there. If you go that route, you’ll notice that there is not a START button anymore. If that just freaks you out to no end, I already have a remedy for that illness. Check out Stardock Software‘s Start8 as it will fix the problem.

ThatIsAll™

Well, the new western gate command bunker has been officially put into commission. For the most part….

The tech team still has a few things to finalize, and the mess hall reports that they still have a few boxes to unload but they are open for BAU (“Business As Usual” for those uninitiated). Unfortunately, the conference room will not support the full media package I had requested. At this time. But I have been assured by the Civil Engineering squadron commander that this will be rectified.

Even have completed commencing agreements with the local requisite support agencies, so overall things are moving along nicely. Supply vendors are standing at the ready as well. Now if I can get the weather squadron to quit with the sogginess things would be much better. Then at least the regular patrol sequence could restart and of course, training flights could resume as some of the helo boys need some stick time before they get too lax.

Yes, we were able to monitor the recent meteor activity via the in-house news feeds. But long-range sensors were not connected to the Command uplink at the time, so real-time monitoring was not available.

Finally, the Command mascots (all FOUR of them) seem to approve of the new locale. So far.

Dismissed™

In case anyone was watching, yes the local area offbase did suffer damage from two reported tornadoes this afternoon. Freak thunderstorm rolled through heading northeast out of the local area and apparently was looking for the red ruby slippers again. No reports of major destruction, but a tornado is rare down here (even more so when it’s so far out of tornado season in general)….unless there’s a hurricane out taking a walk in the park.

No damage onbase. Heck we got all of about 5 drops of rain. One reported household “accident” did occur. The Generalette insists we invest in a pair of “Thundershirts” for each of the base mascots. I’m tending to agree with her because the cleanup detail has gone past annoying.

On another note, Darth you will want to get that rust bucket of a ship swept, mopped, and hopefully deodorized before the 25th. The Generalette and I will be venturing your direction and of course this requires the requisite inspection tour. Our main purpose is to actually visit the spectacle known as “Jonesmahall”, but we will make sure you’ve marginally kept that wizard and the Klingon in line for another year.

Dismissed™

Hey denizens, it’s the General checking in.

Sorry I’ve been absent of late but there’s been more pressing items that have needed my attention. One being some threatening wildfires that breached the 25-mile perimeter markers on the northeast side of the base and then last week another one that breached the 20-mile perimeter markers on the southwest side.

All is well now due to what appears to be some sort of “extreme condensation particulate” falling from the sky. The R&D folks have been testing this “condensation” but as of yet they have not reported their findings. Most of the general populace are befuddled as my R&D staff appears to be, but luckily no major incidents have been reported.

Please continue to pray, and if possible, support, those affected by the major wildfire in Bastrop, TX. The last count showed well over 1,000 homes were lost. With another 400 or so in the wildfires here closer to home. These families are in need of something we as Americans always know what to do, and do it best…..a helping hand. Texans are a strong lot, we will recover. We will bounce back. It may take some time, but it will happen.

Flags here on base are ay half-mast today as this marks the one-year anniversary of the Generalette’s father’s passing. Her sadness is tempered by the fact that the long-awaited remodeling of the master bathroom at the General’s residence has now commenced. The Generalette and myself spent several glorious hours last weekend demolishing various aspects of said bathroom and our chosen contractor has begun the process of putting things back together per our design requirements just today. Completion should only take 2-3 more days.

Other minor issues continue, but there are the stuff of daily life here at the Southern Command. Now if I can just nail down that Darth character long enough to inform him to quite taking artistic liberties with what my Public Affairs staff discloses things will be much calmer…

I’ve just been handed a report hot off the laser printer over in the R&D office. They can now confirm that the “extreme condensation particulate” falling from the sky is (or was) common rain. Their report states that due to the lack of recent empirical evidence to refer back to, the testing of the material had to shift to a spectographical nature under extremely controlled conditions. They did mention in the report also that the testing was aided by the seemingly abundant amount of test material and the broad geographic locations from where test samples could be gathered from. This report has eased the nerves of the entire base population, and the kids seemed to enjoy it as well.

ThatIsAll™

Seems you’ve passed the torch to me this week Darth…….

On a more serious note……July 26th, the wife of the husband/wife team that owns the company I work for informed all of us that after an 18-month battle with brain cancer that her husband passed away the night before. He was 55.

On the heels of his funeral service last Friday, now tonight I find out that my best friend at that same company (the same guy who got me hired on and someone that the Generalette has known for about 20 years now) lets the Generalette and I know that he has cancer on two spots on his neck. Thankfully, not only is NASA the big neighbors to the south, but a little closer in is the best cancer center in the country — MD Anderson.

So you’ll excuse me if I tell the debt crisis and DC in general to go fly a kite. I have some serious prayer work to do.

Down here at the Southern Command, we’re also going through a step of change. Nothing personal with the command staff or base personnel, but rather at our chosen house of worship. For the past 13 months our church has been without a Senior Pastor. The reasons are not necessary at this time, the only thing that is relevant is that there has not been a man in that position for some time. A few weeks ago, the search committee announced that they had found someone who fit and next Sunday our new Senior Pastor will preach his first sermon to our congregation.

So in his last message as Interim, our Executive Pastor reminded us that in order to move forward we as a church need to leave the past in the past (yes, learn from the past but leave it in the past) and in order to move forward there are several walls that are self-placed that are a barrier from moving forward. Those walls need to come down so we as a church can indeed move forward with a fresh start and change our focus on that which our new pastor brings forward to us. I won’t repeat his whole sermon, but the key points are what needs to be mentioned here, because they are pertinent for us all at this time. And they are something we all can certainly work on to break down.

The walls that need to come down are:

• Unfaithfulness
• Anger
• Apathy
• Failure
• Sin
• Pride

The scripture passage he used to help illustrate these walls is Joshua chapter six. This is the story of Joshua and how God instructed him to deal with the city of Jericho. If you know the story you can certainly see the parallels. Like Darth, it certainly may be time to take a good hard look at the walls in front of us that need to be broken down to allow us to return to moving forward.

ThatIsAll™

….the General.

Well, I was going to start off by torturing Korrioth, but it seems that routine has gotten as predictable as Al Obambi and his progressive libtards and their ubiquitous “Blame Bush” mantra. Or so the feedback coming in is.

KORRIOTH: DaHjaj ghaj taH QaQ jaj Daq Hegh

SG Rayegun: Indeed.

But rather than that, I just mention that the Generalette and I are going to in lurk mode for the next couple of weeks. We’ve had family at the Main Residence this weekend, as well as some improvements to the Main Residence as well. There will also be an upcoming TDY and some other minor things happening around the base that will require my attention.

We’ll report in following these events.

ThatIsAll™

Over the past 30 minutes or so, the Southern Command has experienced something rarely heard in these parts lately. Yes something so infrequent I had to get the R&D staff to scour the Intertubes to verify this phenomenon.

This what they discovered.

The following information was located at the Merriam Webster website and give us this result from their search engine:

1thun·der
noun \ˈthən-dər\
Definition of THUNDER
1
: the sound that follows a flash of lightning and is caused by sudden expansion of the air in the path of the electrical discharge

This search originated after several instances of said phenomenon occurred and so severely upset the force protection canines at the HQ Security Forces kennel that the kennel master got so worried he actually used the RED PHONE to contact the General. Upsetting indeed because the General was napping and DOES NOT take kindly to interruptions to his Sunday afternoon nap.

Since the R&D staff was already at work, I insisted they research any OTHER unusual occurrences that could follow said phenomenon and this is what they mutually agreed COULD follow the above mentioned:

1rain
noun, often attributive \ˈrān\
Definition of RAIN
1
a : water falling in drops condensed from vapor in the atmosphere
b : the descent of this water

If any further developments happen, be sure that we the staff of the Southern Command will promptly inform you. For now, you can return to your normal comings and goings.

ThatIsAll™

Except this time the egg was something north of 250k State Department documents.  And Humpty is Wikileaks. The dumping is still the same.

Normally I would agree (within reason mind you) with the argument that releasing classified intelligence information is REALLY not good for the folks “in country”, but something strikes me different about this documentus dumpicus.  Now given that the loudest shrilling is coming from a progressive-lite Republican by the name of Peter King and he’s calling for the Secretary of Frump and Eric “I employ illegal aliens as housekeepers” Holder to designate Wikileaks as a domestic terror organization, I get the unabated sense that something is wrong.

And I have an idea what it could be.  Once again, the “most ethical and transparent administration in the history of the U.S” (Nancy SanFran Piglousy’s words, not mine) got caught with their pants down fornicating away with those at the center of all these documents.  Namely which is Al Queda and those nation-states that support it.  Now OF COURSE each and every member of the House Homeland Security Committee has read EVERY word of all 250,000+ documents released and can say with 100% assurance that “it’s not us”.

I say BULLSHIT and I’m calling global shenanigans on this one.

Al-Obambi’s foreign policy ain’t worth the paper the documents are printed on.  Then again, the domestic policy ain’t in much better shape either!

So I say, let’s see all 250,000+ documents and we prosecute the REAL criminals and let Wikileaks do it’s job. Because no other REAL news organization (yes I’m glaring straight at you CNN, (P)MSNBC, New York Times, Washington Post, and Politico) seems to be able to do their job.

Seeing that some sort of tribble has crawled waaaaayyyyyy too far up Darth’s arse butt backside, and I really don’t have much else to put up then here goes….

Don’t know how many of you out there have AT&T u-Verse for your television viewing service (or any of their bundles), but they recently pulled one on all of their TV subscribers that pissed off the Generalette so much that I had to put in the calls the very next day to make other arrangements.

Here’s the jist of the story.  Seems last week that the broadcast rights contract between AT&T and Scripps Networks LLC reached its conclusion and negotiations that had been ongoing had reached an impasse (gee, where have we heard THAT shtick before???).  The usual mud-slinging commenced.  AT&T claimed that Scripps was demanding too much in royalties and fees.  Scripps countered that AT&T was demanding that they basically be given all-out total ownership rights to the Scripps footage.

At this point I’m betting you’re going, “So who the heck is Scripps Networks LLC”?  Well, they are the media service that owns the channels like HGTV, DIY channel, The Food Network, The Cooking Channel, and GAC.  Well four of the five networks consist of about 70% of the viewing time here in the General’s household.  So that can sort of clearly explain why the Generalette was boiling.  We’ve also been dealing with a 3 month long episode of flaky system freeze ups that affected all of the services we were getting through AT&T.  Needless to say, we both felt this latest annoyance was the last straw. 

AT&T doesn’t know it yet, but they are being purged from the Southern Command.  Completely.  As in 100% hasta la vista, baby.  As of 1700 hours today, the ISP and telephone services have been replaced with other providers.  The ISP service was replaced with one that for just pennies more a day we have now increased our download speeds by 150%.  The telephone service cost was reduced by 20%.  The television service will be replaced tomorrow with a new provider who will have a package that has 5% more channels than the u-Verse package, while reducing our costs by nearly 50%. 

Ain’t the free market just grand!!!!!

And not to trivialize the day with small things, lest we forget how we as Americans are afforded the ability to have such a free market society.   With all proper pomp and circumstance, with strict concordence to protocol and etiquette all of us here at the Southern Command salute each and every man and woman who have served, or are currently serving in the Army, Army National Guard, Army Reserves, Navy, Naval Reserves, Marines, Air Force, Air National Guard, Air Force Reserves, or Coast Guard.  Without the sacrifice and blood, sweat, and tears that each of you have given to this great country of ours — we the citizens of this land would not enjoy the freedoms we our offered each and every day of our lives, not over the past 230+ years, not today, nor into tomorrow.

The Southern Command also offers up a special salute to our brothers and sisters of the United States Marine Corps as they continue to celebrate their 235th year of protecting these United States of America.  All of us here are certainly proud of their service and vigilance to this country and the Constitution.

God Bless America!

Both the Generalette and myself did, just today no less.

It only took 5 minutes from the time we got out of the Official Southern Command Staff Conveyance until we once again re-entered it. For both of us!

What is this you ask?

We did the one thing that makes our individual voices be heard and recognized in our great republic.

We VOTED!

You are hereby summarily ordered to do likewise, unless you’re a sick, twisted freak that really enjoys the “fundamental transformation” that Al Obambi and George Soros Inc. are currently in-progress with. We here at the Southern Command are thoroughly sick of the utter thrashing these people are doing to the Constitution (that they SWORE TO PROTECT AND HONOR) let alone the almost irreparable damage they are doing to this great land. Just looking out for Mother Earth my big, fat ass. These nimrods are pouring out slop that no respectable farm animal would come within THREE MILES of. Even if they were upwind of it!!!!

Let the pigsty that D.C. has become know that WE THE PEOPLE are here now to plow over the manure and replant our nation with the seeds of LIFE, LIBERTY, and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. And yes, IN GOD WE TRUST is something more than just a phrase printed on our money.

If you don’t and don’t want them delivered, check out this Lifehacker article.

Might want to consider bookmarking the site, they’ve got tons of really useful Windows, Mac, and Linux tips….as well as the occasional time-saving household tidbit.

That’s all for now….it’s been a rough week.  Maybe some more tomorrow since it’s a down day for the Command Staff.

All, sorry for the absence but we here at the Southern Command are still in mourning and the base flag is at half-staff for the remainder of the month as we all but primarily the Generalette deals with the loss of her father just over a week ago.  His passing did not come as a surprise, rather it was a welcome release to a worldly disease that has no known cure…Alzheimer’s.  Actually that wasn’t the primary cause, a case of double pneumonia was.

Her father was 79 years young, yet carried the burden of Alzheimer’s for well over five years…not being able to speak for the last 18 months or so of his life.  He was a Christian, and a devout one at that.  From a Sunday School teacher to serving as a deacon until he was diagnosed with the disease.  He is survived by his wife of 54 years, their three children (which includes the Generalette) as well as five grandchildren.  God has welcomed a great man back home and now that man can celebrate along with all the other saints in Christ for the remainder of eternity.

Now, on to other Command business.

Folks, start doing your research on a bill that has been introduced to committee with the audacious name of the “Debt Free America Act”.  Also known as HR-4646, the bill on the surface will attempt to do such things as eliminate the national individual income tax, refundable and nonrefundable personal tax credits, and even the alternative minimum tax and replace it with a “transaction tax”.  The initial level is set at 1%.

But here’s where the nefarious progressive left take something that has the potential to correct things and turns it into something hideously evil.  The bill also intends to “tax” ALL financial transactions from both you and I as individuals (things like deposits and withdrawals from checking and savings accounts, ATMs, everything) as well as corporate financial transactions.  And, of course Congress can “adjust” the percentage as they see fit.

This bill has corruption written all over it.  As if that isn’t a new concept coming out of the boys inside the DC beltway.  Do your research folks, if your House rep is FOR this bill then if they are up for re-election it’s time they go find out what the job market is really like.  This is one bill this country DOESN’T need.