Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...

The General – along with the rest of you anti-Microsoft bigots (grin) – will be pleased to learn that Yours Truly™ has started down the path of one particular Dark Side™.

For this post…is being written on a Linux box.

More later.  Gotta go pick up Mrs. Venomous’ car and cough up $500 to turn off a “check engine” light. 


This is only a test. Had this been a real post, I might have made sense! :)


…Darth Venomous, white courtesy phone.  Darth Venomous, white courtesy phone.

The red zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only.  All unoccupied vehicles will be towed.

…Darth Venomous, white courtesy phone.  Darth Venomous, white courtesy phone.

No, the WHITE courtesy phone.


Denizens, it’s come to my attention that certain instances of IE were not displaying This Fine Blog™ correctly – IOW, the posts were appearing below the right sidebar, f’rinstance.

Your assignment (and this goes for all you non-libtard visitors, as well – register on the site if you need to) is as follows:  Tell me how it looks on your browser (and (duh) lemme know what you’re using).  Does everything look in place – IOW, are the posts in the middle under the banner; do the sidebars look okay; is the “Local Time Where You’re At” caption underneath the clock, instead of to the side, etc?

Lemme know.  And thanks.


Denizens, I need some help here, and you’re the only ones who can do this.

(If you’ve never registered here, and you’re passing by, or just bored or whatever, feel free to register and offer your views, too.)

Take a look at that Rolex© watch face over there on the right sidebar.

Question:  Do you see a white background surrounding the watch?

Here’s the deal:  I saw the watch in a white square the other day while on another machine running Internet Exploder.

However, I can’t reproduce the effect on my machine, but I don’t trust my weird-assed color scheme.  This is where you come in.

If you’ll do me the honor of telling me what you’re seeing, I’d be most grateful.

Thanks in advance.  (And thanks for reading this blog, too, while I’m thinking about it.)

UPDATE:  Actually, I think I like this clock with the starfield background better.

Still, if you see anything there but the black page b/g, lemme know if you would.


Denizens, obviously (that is, if you’re paying attention it’s obvious) I’m testing out some new features to put on This Fine Blog™.  Your patience is most appreciated.

K’HADIBAK’H:  As if they had any choice.

VENOMOUS:  Hush, you.

K’HADIBAK’H:  (smirk)

Not sure if we’re gonna keep any of these, or if they’ll even work if/when we decide to upgrade the WordPress version.

RAYEGUN:  You’re actually gonna do that?

VENOMOUS:  When I’m damned good ‘n ready, awright?!

RAYEGUN:  It was just a question, geeze.

MERLIN:  Little touchy this morning, are we?

MRS. VENOMOUS:  He’s still p.o.’d about the Cowgirls.


MRS. VENOMOUS:  Hey, be glad you’re just on staff.  I  have to live with him 24/7.

KORRIOTH:  Our condolences, ma’am.

VENOMOUS:  Would you all PUT A CORK IN IT?!?!?!

This is what happens when I hire non-union help.



Anyway, keep yer eyes peeled for more of this stuff.  ThatIsAll™.


Denizens, if the blog starts acting a little weird…

MERLIN:  Yeah?  And when doesn’t  it?

VENOMOUS:  Hush, you.

…don’t panic.  I’m testing some stuff over here.



Yes, that’s right – I’m testing something.

Yeah, that’s pretty much all I got for now.

UPDATE:  General, check in, if you please.  I haven’t figured out how to add this to the editor yet, so it’ll have to be executed manually for now, and you’ll want to know the code.


This is a test.


[Scene:  the engineering section of Pegasus.  Lieutenant Commander Ozymandias McCool has rivers of sweat pouring from his brow after four days of hard work.  He steps back, makes one last check for loose connections, wipes his brow and heads for the intercom.]

OZY MCCOOL:  Engineering to Bridge!

KORRIOTH (over speaker):  Bridge.  Korrioth here.

OZY MCCOOL:  Captain, please inform the Admiral that the new shields are ready to deploy.

[Cut to the bridge of Pegasus.  Exec Officer Korrioth and His Rudeness listen to McCool’s report with satisfied looks on their faces.]

LSIK&T:  Acknowledged, Commander, and thank you.  Bridge out.  (to Korrioth) Captain, if you please…?

KORRIOTH:  Tactical!  Raise shields!

Denizens, I’m trying some things behind the scenes here.  If all goes well, you won’t notice a thing.


Denizens, if the page starts looking kinda funky, bear with me.  I’m working on something.

I’ll let you know what it is if I’m successful with it.

If not, that sound you hear will be McCool getting shoved out the airlock.


UPDATE:  Okay, those of you perusing my fine work (cough) via InterTubes Exploder are seeing something I lifted off of this site here (and please, try not to ogle Carmen Electra too much, mkay?).  Obviously, it’s a clock that chases your mouse pointer.

I don’t know if Ciampis did this himself, or lifted it from someone else, but I think it’s damn cool.

Firefox users (me included), be patient. You can’t see it yet, and I’m trying to find out why.


Denizens, this is a test.  Feel free to ignore.


(SCENE:  Aboard Pegasus.   Sparks are flying from Ozymandias McCool’s communications panel.)

LSIK&T:  Dammit, Ozy, that’s the third one today!!!  I told  you not to put your Romulan Ale on top of that board!!!

OZY:  Wasn’t the ale this  time, m’Lord!  I’ve got it on the deck here by my foot in this sealed mug! (inadvertently knocks it over.  Fortunately, it really was  sealed, so nothing spills out.)  See?

LSIK&T:  Okay, fine, whatever. (to speaker) Engineering!!!

MERLIN:  Aye, m’Lord?

LSIK&T:  Get another communications panel up here on the double.  This time, set the voltage for 240 instead of 110 like I asked you the first time?!?!?!?!

MERLIN: (wincing)  Aye, sir.

LSIK&T:  Ozy, hurry up and finish your apprenticeship under him, willya?  I’d prefer you take over for him before  he blows this ship up…??? (sigh)

(Ozy tries to suppress a grin as we fade to black)

Okay, Denizens, comments are fixed.  (If you didn’t notice that they were broken, never mind.)



(SCENE:  Aboard the Klingon Bird-of-Prey Pegasus.   The ship has just exited its sixth wormhole of the past 90 minutes after yet another failed attempt to go to warp…and none too smoothly, either.  Chief Engineer & Magician Merlin picks himself up off the deck again.)

MERLIN:  Dammit, I’m gonna catch Hell™ for that  jolt…

(as if on cue) LSIK&T(on speakers):  Merlin, would you mind coming up to the bridge, please, sir?

(Merlin warily eyes the rest of the engineering crew warily.  Lord Spatula’s tone-of-voice sounded way  too cordial for his comfort.)

MERLIN:  Uhhh…aye, sir? (trudges toward the bridge)

(SCENE:  On the bridge of Pegasus.   The doors part and Merlin comes to stand to the right of Lord Spatula’s command chair.  Tactical officer Korrioth, the Klingon-Vulcan hybrid, stands behind Spats’ right shoulder, directly to Merlin’s left.)

MERLIN:  Reporting as ordered, m’Lord…?

LSIK&T:  (pleasantly) Mr. Korrioth…?


(Korrioth delivers a wicked backhand to the side of Merlin’s head.  Merlin literally flies across the bridge, coming to rest in a crumpled heap in the forward section thereof.  Lord Spatula comes to stand over him.)

LSIK&T:  I trust I’ve made my point, Wizard…?

MERLIN:  (groggily) Aye, m’Lord.  I’ll…get it right…unnnh…this time…ow…

LSIK&T:  Mr. Korrioth, will you please carry Merlin back to Engineering, place him gently in his chair and double-check whatever calculations he comes up with?

KORRIOTH:  (grunt)

LSIK&T:  Thank you, gentlemen.

(SCENE:  Six hours later.)

KORRIOTH:  Bridge, this is Korrioth.  Try it now, m’Lord.

LSIK&T:  There’s a Cluebat™ with your name on it if it’s wrong, Korrioth…!!!

KORRIOTH:  All simulations test positive, m’Lord.  We have the proper formula balance now.  We may proceed at warp nine, if you wish.

LSIK&T:  I’ll hold you to that, targ-breath.  (to the helm) Mr. K’hadibak’h, if you please?  Warp…(glances back behind him, as if towards Engineering)…one.

(Pegasus  shoots into warp one more time…)

Okay, guys, I’ve tweaked the formatting of the blogroll and the email advisory to my liking; now I think we’re ready to go (he said as he tapped a neutronium ClueBat™ in his hand).  Now that the main page looks the way I want it to look, I can start installing some scripts.

Bear with me and keep your fingers crossed… (sigh)


Guys, the page is about to start looking very  funky.

Bear with me and things will hopefully start looking much better after I’m done.


UPDATE:  Okay, Denizens – time to check in, all of you.

Don’t ask me how, but I think  I have it.  I’m seeing the header/banner at the top where it should be; the posts in the body on the left side where they should be; the links, archive calendar, search box, email blurb, Digital Brownshirt, Madfishy’s COTBG pic and  my beautiful baby boy – all where they should be (the “Archives” and that crap below it I don’t immediately care about)…

and  the footer info, all where it  should be.  And  I see it not only in Firefox, but in IE, as well, which has me pretty damned geeked at the moment.

(It should.  It took long enough. (sigh))

Your assignment:  Look at this blog.  Is what I just described what you see also?  Denizens, I need you to check in and tell me how it looks to you, if you’d be so kind (and yes – put a cork in it when it comes to the color scheme.  I like it, okay? (grin))

Thank you very kindly.  Now  thatisall. 


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This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
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