Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...

(Hat tip: Sen. Ted Cruz via FB)

I knew there was something I liked about this guy from the very beginning. For the uninitiated, Sen. Ted Cruz is the junior senator from Texas who won the election to fill the seat that a certain RINO former State Comptroller vacated after retiring. AKA, Kay Bailey Hutchison.

Since he arrived in office, he’s been on a terror for the Republic of Texas. A STAUNCH Constitutional conservative, Cruz has been putting the Al-Obambi agenda to task and stuffing it back where it came from. Now he brings this gem to the surface. Those of you who know me well enough, know that I have less than zero patience for the enviroweenie movement. Especially when it comes to homegrown crude oil discovery and production. So this one is the type of thing I notice.

A landmark federal study on hydraulic fracturing, or fracking, shows no evidence that chemicals from the natural gas drilling process moved up to contaminate drinking water aquifers at a western Pennsylvania drilling site, the Department of Energy told The Associated Press.

After a year of monitoring, the researchers found that the chemical-laced fluids used to free gas trapped deep below the surface stayed thousands of feet below the shallower areas that supply drinking water, geologist Richard Hammack said.

Damn straight! Fracking works, period. Move along enviro-nutcases, nothing to see here!

The industry and many state and federal regulators have long contended that fracking itself won’t contaminate surface drinking water because of the extreme depth of the gas wells. Most are more than a mile underground, while drinking water aquifers are usually within 500 to 1000 feet of the surface.

And it don’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that one. Considering there’s like 11,000 of them practically across the street from the Southern Command HQ, we routinely associate with plenty of them, so we know a thing or three about their qualifications. Not to mention, the lot of them are infinitely more qualified than any nutcase tree-hugging Greenpeace beatnik.

Keep bringing on the gems Sen. Cruz. Glad to know you’re on duty for us Texans!



Damn, and to think this almost slipped past us, Denizens.


WWF’s Earth Hour is a simple idea that’s quickly turned into a global phenomenon. Hundreds of millions of people turning off their lights for one hour, on the same night, all across the planet. It’s about appreciating the brilliant world we all share – and how we need to protect it. Not just for an hour a year, but every day.

Okay, guyz, here we go.

At 20:30 hours, your time, turn on every single fucking electrical device in your domicile.  Crank the A/C (or heat, depending on where you might be) to maximum – or at least to a temperature that guarantees it’ll run for an hour straight – and overload the fuckin’ grid if you can.

And if any Gaia-humping tree-huggers so much as emit a peep… 

UPDATE:  And in that vein, we have this Cupid Stunt™ who thinks that we have a disease that needs to be “recognized and treated” (hat tip:  Andrea Ryan, guest-blogging at Hoft’s)…

“We find a profound misfit between dire scientific predictions of ongoing and future climate changes and scientific assessments of needed emissions reductions on the one hand, and weak political, social or policy response on the other,” Norgaard said. Serious discussions about solutions, she added, are mired in cultural inertia “that exists across spheres of the individual, social interaction, culture and institutions.”

“Climate change poses a massive threat to our present social, economic and political order. From a sociological perspective, resistance to change is to be expected,” she said. “People are individually and collectively habituated to the ways we act and think. This habituation must be recognized and simultaneously addressed at the individual, cultural and societal level — how we think the world works and how we think it should work.”

This is along the lines of the bullshit spewed by Richard “Big Dickhead” Glover, the cowardly little douchenozzle who wants us “climate-change deniers” to have our heresy “forcibly tattooed on [our] bodies” (you’ll remember what I had to say about it at the time).

Ever notice that they never want to come and actually try  any of that forcible-tattooing, or “treatment”, as it were?  They talk a good game until it’s time to actually do something.

They they tend to shut up & shrink back a bit when they realize that it just might be a weeeeeeeeeee  bit harder to do than they thought.

But anytime, Herr Glover & Norgaard.  Grow a set & come try it.

I’ll even make you a deal:  The cattle prods we shove up your skanky asses?

Only set to half-intensity. 


So the paper insert inside the box of Just For Men  said…

(Hey, you  try turning completely gray before age 30 and going 14 years like that and see how you  feel, m’kay???)

…it said “Out of respect for the environment, our gloves have changed to a more sustainable material.”

And so did the other  paper insert they put inside the box.

And the overwhelming likelihood is that this batch of boxes, at the very least, contained an extra paper insert, just like mine.

“Respect for the environment”???



The climate change whackos have already adjusted. This came out today.


(Hat tip Ed Driscoll.)

Richard Glover is a pussified, Global-Wormening-Truther Nazi-wannabe type writing for the Sydney Moaning Hollered  in Australia (yes, Little Dickhead – should pigs ever fly and you actually read this site, that spelling was deliberate.  Sad I have to explain it, but you can never take chances with little one-brain-celled short-bus riders like you).

And I would just love  to see him try this.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


Denizens, as some of you may know, I’ve long been an advocate of telling the Environmental (Nutcase) Protection Agency – to their face, if necessary – to go pound sand.

Lookit.  No one – least of all yours truly – wants to have to breathe dirty air and/or drink dirty water.  Conservatives country wide acknowledge that, yes and yes – it’s nasty and it’s nasty.  We get that, mkay?  At the exact same time, we have this thing about being told what to do and when/how to do it.  ‘Specially from outsiders.  With a particular predjudice against those from Warshington, DC.

It kinda got my hackles up, therefore, when I read the environ-mental case ‘tards were going to try to regulate…are you sitting down…?

…farm dust.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency is considering a crackdown on farm dust, so senators have signed a letter addressing their concerns on the possible regulations.

Bullshit.  Instead of expressing their “concerns”, these half-assed congresscritters ought  to be sending a letter to the EPA threatening to completely, 100% defund the bastard agency  if they don’t get off their fucking high horse and act with some common sense.

Do y’all realize how many possible things can kick up dust on a farm?  Livestock, tractors, people walking across the dirt road – hell, even a windy effin’ day  can kick up a little sand.  What, EPA – you gonna attempt to fine that tornado?!  Best of luck to you trying to serve it the citation.

The first EPA retard who even attempts  to cite someone for kicking up dust should probably go back to being  dust, courtesy of…well, you know.

Dumb-shit ass-spelunkers.


Denizens, for those of you who read the Rott on a regular basis, this is old news for you, so bear with me.

Me, being the CSITMF guy that I am, I haven’t been quite certain how to respond to this guy (and by “this guy”, I mean Gene Gene the Turn-Tail-and-Running Machine™, and not his mewling sycophants Andrew, Brian or Juliette) because – as he’s in India and I’m halfway around the world from him, it makes even less sense to issue The Challenge™ than usual – not only is he a craven coward, but he has zero way of making it over here.

Unless, of course, he’s planning on coming in this:

Eh.  Maybe not.

But it does  behoove me to address what he said.  Which was this:

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


Denizens, the following is being republished as a public service.  Links, etc, have been updated to reflect the current year.

As y’all are probably aware, tonight at 2030 hours (a little military/police/fire lingo, there) we’re all supposed to turn all our lights off for one hour.  Several cities (one of which will, in all probability, be Dallas), are planning to participate.

But not this King & Tyrant™.

MERLIN:  You’re not a king & tyrant anymore.

KORRIOTH:  You’re not even a King & Tyrant™, either.

MERLIN:  That’s what I said!

OZY MCCOOL:  No, you said “king & tyrant”

K’HADIBAK’H:  As in, just an ordinary king and an ordinary tyrant.


T-BONE MCMANX:  And as we all know, His Snarkiness is neither an ordinary king, nor an ordinary tyrant.


SUPREME GENERAL RAYEGUN:  He may be a particularly piss-poor king and a tyrant with pathetic delusions of godhood…

KORRIOTH:  …but he’s no ordinary king & tyrant.



VENOMOUS:  I haven’t written the script to the next installment of “One Of Our Klingons Is Missing” yet.  Heads could  roll, y’know.

ALL:  Eeeeeeeep!

See what I gotta put up with around here?

Anyway, where were we?  Ah, yes…

At 2030 hours tonight, every light in My Humble Abode™, every computer, every monitor, every kitchen appliance, every fan, the central heater (it is  going to get down in the 30s 40s here tonight), every gadget I currently have plugged in – if it pulls wattage in my house, it’s on and running tonight at that time.

Y’see, I haven’t forgotten my life’s work – pissing off the Left as much as I possibly can.  And if I can tell the Greentards, symbolically or otherwise, to take Mommy Gaia and go shove her up all their swishy asses, I’m absolutely going to take the opportunity to do so.

And I hope to Cthulu some fucking tree-hugging faggot just tries  to get in my face about it tonight.

Please, chickenshit Greenies.  I fucking dare  you.


If you watched the Super Bowl (congratulations, Saints!  The C’boys are still  better than you), you no doubt saw (and, if you’re like me, were majorly offended by) this commercial:

This moron seems to think it was a potshot at him and his ilk.

At first blush this seems like more teabagging—appealing to angry white men with the same old stereotype of environmentalists as meddling do-gooders obsessed with picayune behavioral sins.

I didn’t see it that way.  I saw it as Audi trying to shove “green-ism” down my throat & out my piehole.

And, given that we’re living in a society where the old-fashioned lightbulb has been outlawed, that’s got me seeing an RCOB™ Right About Now™.

Congratulations, Audi.  You’ve managed to guarantee that at least one person will never buy your POS excuses-for-cars.

Join Government Motors & Chrysler, right over there on the ashheap of history.  Because that’s where you’re headed.

As for you pussies in the “green police”

You may end up taking me down.  But so help me Cthulu, I’ll have a fucking honor guard.

That, you can fucking take to the bank. 


If this is allowed to stand, it is time to throw out every last member of Congress as well as the bozo in the White House and his idiotic side kick! (No insult to Bozo intended)

EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson said in a written statement that the finding, which declares carbon dioxide and five other greenhouse gases a threat to public health, marks the start of a U.S. campaign to tackle greenhouse gas emissions.

No Miss Jackson, what is shows is that you and your Ideologue boss have take leave of what little sense you had. Carbon dioxide is a naturally occurring gas, and one which is absolutely necessary if life is to continue.

“These long-overdue findings cement 2009′s place in history as the year when the United States Government began addressing the challenge of greenhouse-gas pollution and seizing the opportunity of clean-energy reform,” she said.

What these “findings” show, is that the Obama mis-administration wishes to destroy the United States!

Folks, never before have I said this, but I truly fear for the future of this nation. The Democrats seem to want to turn us into a has-been socialist “heaven”, and the Republicans haven’t the backbone to stop them.

Time to elect some new blood, and the sooner the better!


I should have said that the total human influence on “global warming” is less than three tenths of one percent, not three one hundredths. My apologies.

For a number of years we have been told that the Earth’s climate is warming to catastrophic levels, and that it is mankind’s fault. The combination of the recent hacking of the East Anglia university’s mail server and the upcoming climate summit have once again brought this to the headlines.

Despite the constant claims of the Global warming crowd, there seems to be more and more indication that the world is not getting dangerously warm, and that if it is, it is not being caused by mankind.

This site points out that the total human caused, or anthropogenic, influence on “global warming” is less than three one hundredths of one percent. Folks, at such low levels, how on earth can any rational individual possibly believe that the warming trends of the past thirty or so years have their roots in human technology?


Over my dead body, Stern, you fucking tosser.


As opposed to CA Wildfile 2008, 2007, 2006, ad infinitum, ad nauseam

The environmental whack-jobs Out West™ are always seething about the quality of the air.  Witness their constant haranguing (sp?) about auto emissions, cows & methane, etc.

The state of Californicate (PoetAndDon’tKnowIt™ Alert!) averages about 1 or 2 major wildfires per annum – at least, that’s the way it seems  That can’t be helping things any.

And it’s these same Gaia-humping, tree-hugging loons that Scream Bloody Murder™ when you so much as mention  clear-cutting.  Then they lose the trees in these fires anyway.  So then no one  gets the benefit of any  of these trees, do they?

You’d think these leftist assclowns would put two and two together OneOfTheseDays™, wouldn’t ya?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, who’m I kidding?


Denizens, the next time you get into a silly little argument with an environ-mental case truther – you know, one of those OwlBore don-the-kneepad types who whiningly insist that “the debate is OVAH!!!!!” -

(Incidentally, I call it a “silly little argument” for this reason:  it’s like trying to teach a pig to sing…it profits you little and annoys the pig.)

- try this little experiment with them.  (I got this from LCrightismightNY over at the Rott, but it’s merely a reminder of something I’ve been saying now for years.)

Get a glass and fill it with ice.  Tell the enviro-truther:  “Okay, now this will represent the planet.  The ice will represent the ice at the North Pole.”

Fill the glass to the top with water.  Tell the truther:  “Now, the ice sticking out of the water here will be the polar ice caps.”

According to their own dumb-assed philosophy, when the ice melts, the water will overflow the sides of the cup.  Make sure you point this out to the enviro-nutcase.

Spend the next 30 to 45 minutes demonstrating to the enviro-truther what a flaming dumbshit  he/she is.  Great hilarity should ensue.

This tip comes from a guy who had a stepdaugher who bought into that bullshit, and was unable to convince her otherwise in the limited time I was married to her mother.

Get to ‘em quickly – before they realize they know everything. 


Someone forgot to tell the North that it was summer. 


« Previous Articles    
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Spatula City BBS! was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.