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What in the hell  has happened to A&M?

Arlington Heights 63, North Side 3

at #12 TCU 42, #15 Oklahoma State 9

Cincinnati 0, at Indianapolis 27

at #7 Alabama 59, #21 Texas A&M 0

#19 Nebraska 38, at Northwestern 17

at #11 Oklahoma 30, #14 Kansas State 31

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Denizens, this week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™ opens with The World’s Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever (1st Edition)™ once again opening his mouth & inserting his foot:

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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God forbid that anything  should happen to the Little Darlings of the Big XII Conference™, y’know.  Right?

Arlington Heights 52, O.D. Wyatt 15

#9 TCU 58, #5 Baylor 40, Pussy-Assed Needle-Dick XII’s Faggot Zebras 21

at Cincinnati 37, Carolina 37 (OT)

at Iowa 45, Indiana 29

West Virginia 37, at Texas Tech 34

Oklahoma 31, Texas 26 (at Dallas)

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Denizens, once again my workload betrays me as we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™ – such that I don’t have a story to rant about (there’s not been time to look)

So let’s get on with it.  My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are playing the O.D. Wyatt Chaparrals for the District 7-5A championship.  (Yes, it’s still early in the season, but Wyatt’s the only team in the district that even looks  like it could take Heights.)

And as I’m writing this, the Chaps aren’t doing a very good job – it’s 52-15, Heights, in the fourth.  We’ll chalk that one up as a win.

Saturday, Gary Patterson’s ninth-ranked TCU Horned Frogs continue their personal Bataan Death March as they go into Waco to play at #5 Baylor’s new digs.  The Cubbies are an 8½-point favorite at home – but then again, OU was favored against the Tadpoles, so we’ll see.

Sunday, Andy Dalton’s Cincinnati Bengals, fresh off their whipping at the hands of New England, return home to face Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers.  Carolina’s still a Jekyll & Hyde-type team, and Vegas has Cincy as a 7-point home fave…which means that Newton’ll probably run wild.

For my wild-card games, I’m going with Indiana visiting Iowa (Vegas has it razor-thin, but Iowa’s at home), West Virginia at Texas Tech (Kliff’s Kidz will eventually get well, but not here), Rice at Army (if they can beat Southern Miss at Hattiesburg, they can handle the Cadets at West Point) – and of course, Oklahoma trampling the TU Shortdicks Longhorns (Charlie Strong’s dismissed about a quarter of his team so far, and what they have left isn’t enough to handle a pissed-off OU squad).

UPDATE:  I do note, for the record, that they’re now calling OU-Texas the “Red River Showdown”.

Well, at least it’s better than the limp-wristed, pansy-assed, metrosexual “Red River Rivalry”…  (sigh)

We’re back Monday or thereabouts with the recap.  In the meantime…I think Heights has scored again… 

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When you run into a buzzsaw, there isn’t a helluva lot you can do.

Arlington Heights 75, Southwest 6

at #25 TCU 37, #4 Oklahoma 33

Cincinnati 17, at New England 43

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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It does happen. this past Saturday, not only did the MSU Bulldogs decisively beat Texas A&M(48-31), but Ole Miss beat number one ranked Alabama 32-17. For the first time since 1962 Ole Miss is 5 and 0, and the last time both teams were rankle in the top 15 at the same time was the 1950s. Needless to say, Mississippi college football fans are in a very good mood. From a Mississippi standpoint, about the only thing that could have made it better would be if our other major university had managed a win; unfortunately, Southern Mississippi seems to be rebuilding this year.

From the standpoint of the Vicar’s family, Mrs. Vicar grew up near Pittsburgh, and the Vicar grew up in Wisconsin, and both of us are USAF veterans.  Air Force beat Navy 30-21, and both Green bay and Pittsburgh NFL Teams won.

The question is, can we do it twice in a row, Mississippi State plays Auburn this coming Saturday at Scott Field in Starkville, both teams are undefeated, but Auburn is a 2.5 point favourite. Ole Miss will travel to Texas to play the Aggies, the hope here is that they will win so decisively, that the Aggies develop a complex about Mississippi! :)

We shall see!

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The light has come on at Valley Ranch.

Hide de wimmen ‘n chill’runs.

TCU 56, at SMUT 0

at Indiana State 38, Liberty 19

at #12 Georgia 35, Tennessee 32

#6 Texas A&M 35, Arkansas 28 (at Arlington, TX)

Texas 23, Kansas 0

at Southern Miss 23, Rice 41

New Orleans 17, at Dallas 38

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Well, Denizens, I finally found something about which to rant as we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend – surprise, surprise, it’s Roger Goodfella’s Goodell’s NFL (No Fun League).

Behold:

Apparently, Phil Phylicia Simms has a problem saying the word “Redskins”.  And the DC faithful had no problem roasting his ugly ass because of it.  (I wouldn’t have either, BTW.)

Enter Roger Goodfella’s Goodell’s NFl brownshirts:

Kristen B.
@KristenBerset Follow

#Redskins fans protesting Phil Simms refusal to use team name . #NFL official told them to take it down @wusa9
6:12 PM – 25 Sep 2014

Ray Rice originally gets only a couple of games for the left cross he gave his then-fiancée, but CRACK DOWN ON THE FANS EXERCISING THEIR FREE-SPEECH RIGHTS!!!!!

Mother-fucking fascist retards.

On to the football.  Tomorrow, it’s the annual Battle For The Iron Skillet™ (otherwise known in Namby-Pambyville as the “D/FW Duel”) as Gary Patterson’s TCU Horned Frogs travel to Dal-wa to take on the Shitland Ponies of SMUT.

The Shitlanders have scored six (6) points.  All season (3 games).  And haven’t given up less than 43 points in any of those three games.

This is a major trap game for the Froggies.  Lose this game, and it’s “attaboy/awshit” time again.

Vegas has the Tadpoles as a 32½-point road favorite.  Gary…you need to cover, and then some.

Believe it or not, that’s it for the Core Teams™.  My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets & Andy Dalton’s Cincinnati Bengals are off this week.  So we’ll go with an NFL wild-card game, featuring Sean Payton’s New Orleans Saints visiting the Allas Cowgirlz (still no D) on Sunday night (turn down your TV sound so you won’t have to listen to Roberta Costas).  Once again, the ‘Girlz will do the Mediocrity Tango™ and wind up at .500 as they get their asses handed to them.

For college wildcard games, we have Turner Gill’s Liberty Flames at Indiana State (sorry, Turner, I don’t have that much faith in your program), UTennessee at #12 Georgia (the Dawgs romp in the Pound™), Ar-kansas in College Station to get flattened by #6 Texas A&M (sorry, Piggies, A&M isn’t Tech), T-Sip U at Rock Chalk (even with all the kids Charlie Strong’s kicking off the Shortdick Longhorn squad, this one’s a gimme) and Rice playing the sacrificial lamb at Southern Miss (this one should please the Vicar).

We’ll try to have a recap before next Saturday Monday.  In the meantime, New Mexico State is a 43½-point road dog at Death Valley (LSU), and my question is…is that all?

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This is why I closed the BBS, Denizens; it is eventually why I’ll shut down This Fine Blog™:  No Fucking Time To Do Anything™.

So okay, here’s the recap:

Arlington Heights 60, Grapevine 14

at #19 Wisconsin 68, Bowling Green 17

#6 Texas A&M 58, at SMUT 6

Central Michigan 10 at Kansas 24

Iowa 24, at Pittsburgh 20

at Cincinnati 33, Tennessee 7

Denizens, that’s really all I have time for, literally.  Sorry.

This week:  5-1.  Overall:  21-3

The PFW will return tomorrow.  What I’ll talk about is anyone’s guess – I don’t even know, myself.

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Denizens, I was going to pontificate at length (as we start this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™) about how Roger Goodfella Goodell had gone all pussified sexist on us and hired four bimbos women to help oversee their domethtic violenthe polithies  ‘n all, and about how the witchhunt over any NFL’er who had so much as looked  crossways at a woman had begun (they’ve already arrested & suspended more players), and how all NFL employees are going to have to undergo thenthitivity “awareness” training, and so on & so forth.  And about how this is no longer the game with which I fell in love, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

Then I saw this.

Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III was told by an NFL representative to flip his ‘Know Jesus, Know Peace’ t-shirt inside-out at a press conference over his dislocated ankle on Sunday, reportedly because it was not a Nike t-shirt.

OOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!!!!  THAT BIG BAD BOOGEYMAN, JAY-ZUSSSSS!!!!!ONE!!1!!ELEVENTY!!!!!~

Wonder if Goodfella Goodell ever paused to ponder that, if he & his minions didn’t sneer so much at The Lord Jesus Christ, there might not be so much of the shit that’s going on in the NFL right now, eh what?

Let’s get to the football.  Phil Young takes my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets into battle at Farrington Field tonight against the Grapevine Mustangs.

Grapevine only won one game last year, has a new head coach and (from listening to local punditry) doesn’t quite have their legs under them just yet.  Gimme Heights in another squash (which, if it proves out, will mean a complete turnaround from last year’s non-district schedule, where they went 0-4 0-3).

Sunday, Tennessee, fresh off its humiliation at the hands of the Cowgirls, visits Andy Dalton & the Bengals of Cincy.  The Orange & Black are only a seven-point favorite at home – which seems to me to be a bit low – but maybe Vegas knows something I don’t.

TCU is off, so we’ll do four wildcard games this week:  Bowling Green State U. and #19 Wisconsin (squash alert), Iowa at UPittsburgh, #6 Texas A&M at SMUT (Schmear Schmoo) and Central Michigan in Lawrence to play Rock Chalk.  (This is Charlie Weis’ last year, you heard it here first.  I don’t care if I-State did  beat Iowa last week, CM’s gonna come in here and torch ‘em.)

We’re back Monday (hopefully) for the recap.  In the meantime…if the light truly has  come on in Cowgirlville, make sure you have Demarco Murray on your fantasy team, ’cause he’s going to gash St. Louis so much you’ll be seeing Ram bone…

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Denizens, I simply ran out of time to get the recap in like I wanted, so here’s the summary:

Arlington Heights 28, at Scots Valley (CA) 14

at TCU 30, Minnesota 7

at Duke 41, Kansas 3

at Fresno State 19, Nebraska 55

at Tennessee 10, Dallas 26

at Cincinnati 24, Atlanta 10

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Denizens, this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™ begins with NFL mafia don head honcho Roger Goodfella Goodell getting caught acting like the mafia don head honcho mafia don this scribe has always thought him to be.

Recall, if you will, how the NFL just got through suspending Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice after the Ravens terminated his contract following that video of him delivering a Joe Frazier-caliber left hook to the noggin of his main squeeze.  At time time, Goodell claimed that that was the first time the NFL had seen the video.

Welllllll…not so fast there, Sparky.

A law enforcement official says he sent a video of Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée to an NFL executive five months ago, while league executives have insisted they didn’t see the violent images until this week.

The official played The Associated Press a 12-second voicemail from an NFL office number on April 9 confirming the video arrived. A female voice expresses thanks and says: “You’re right. It’s terrible.”

[...]

The law enforcement official, speaking to the AP on condition of anonymity because of the ongoing investigation, says he had no further communication with any NFL employee and can’t confirm anyone watched the video. He said he was unauthorized to release the video but shared it unsolicited because he wanted the NFL to have it before deciding on Rice’s punishment.

The NFL has repeatedly said it asked for but could not obtain the video of Rice hitting Janay Palmer — who is now his wife — at an Atlantic City casino in February.

The league says it has no record of the video and that no one in the league office had seen it until it was released by TMZ on Monday. Asked about the voicemail Wednesday, NFL officials repeated their assertion that no league official had seen the video before Monday.

Soooooo…an initial slap-on-the-wrist for Rice, followed by a cover-up.  “Nuthin’ t’ see here, move ‘long, we don’ know what’cher talk’n ’bout.”

Fairly typical behavior from Roger Goodfella, hm?

Let’s get to the football.  My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets, having conquered a couple teams that would’ve beat the crap out of them last year, now Go West, Young Men™ – in this case, out Californication way to Scots Valley to play the locals out there.

I honestly don’t know who’s going to win this one – though I’m always leery about games like this.  Gimme Heights and 50.

Gary Patterson’s TCU Horned Frogs are home again this weekend to play the UMinne-haha Golden Ferrets Gophers of the B1G (that’s “Big Ten” for the Church of the SubTarded).  Vegas has the Froggies as a 15½-point favorite at home – which sounds a bit high to me, given that TCU’s still fine-tuning its offense and  Boykin’s still at QB, but I guess we’ll see.

Sunday, Andy Dalton & the Cincy Bengals play host to Matt Ryan and the Hotlanta Falcons.  Vegas has Cincy as a five-point home favorite.

I dunno about this.  I’m not a believer any more in Matt Ryan – yet he does  tend to eat up questionable secondaries – and Cincy has Terrence “Bust” Newman back there.  This could get ugly.

For my wildcard games, we’re going to go with Nebraska at Fresno State (if McNeese nearly pulled off the upset in Lincoln, Fresno’s going to kill them), Kansas at Duke (the Devils get to pwn them in football, too) and the Dallas Cowgirls at Tennessee.  (No, I still don’t like Widdle Jakie Locker, but Dallas doesn’t have anything this year.  I seriously think the ‘Girlz may go 0-16.)

We’re back Monday or so for the recap.  In the meantime, SMUT, which had June “Why Did I Leave Hawaii?” Jones just up & quit on them, is guaranteed not to lose this weekend…because (all together now)…

ENTIRE CAST & CREW OF SCBBS…THEY DON’T PLAY!!!!!

See ya Monday.

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0-16, anyone?

at Arlington Heights 36, Princeton 7

at #2 Alabama 41, Florida Atlantic 0 (Rain-shortened)

at #19 Nebraska 31, McNeese State 24

#20 Kansas State 32, at Iowa State 28

Cincinnati 23, at Baltimore 16

San Transexual 28, at Dall-ass 17

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Denizens, we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™…by giving one mammoth “ATTABOY!!!!!”  to the Cincinnati Bengals.

The Cincinnati Bengals appeared to have moved on from former second-round defensive tackle Devon Still when they cut him this preseason. Still, 25, certainly has looked like a bust to this point in his career, and his preseason play was not an indication he had come around.

However, Sitll has had much better things on his mind than football. His 4-year-old daughter, Leah, was diagnosed with stage 4 pediatric cancer back in June.

So when training camp came around, Still lost some desire to play. The Bengals had no choice but to cut him.

I can understand this.  If my son had an illness like that, fixing computers would take a backseat.

But I also see Cincy’s point of view on this.  If you’re gonna play in the NFL, there’s a commitment level there that you must  maintain.  Any less, and you’re not only cheating the team & the ownership, you’re cheating the fans who come to see you.

Cue the happy ending.

But there’s a silver lining to this story. The Bengals re-signed him to their practice squad, and the $6,300 weekly salary and medical insurance will go a long way to help Leah. Still is eminently grateful for the team’s gesture when he knows they simply could have made what NFL teams like to call “business decisions.”

“They could have washed their hands with me and said they didn’t care about what I was going through off the field,” Still said. “It’s like a blessing in disguise for me.”

As a member of the practice squad, Still will practice with the team but not travel. That means he has more time to spend by Leah’s side. Blessing in disguise indeed.

Prayers Leah’s way.

And because of this selfless act by the Bengals…not to mention the fact that they still have Andy Dalton…Cincinnati is being added to the PFW.

They are taking the place of the Dallas Cowgirlz…who (in case you didn’t see the news from the Vicar) signed Widdle Mikey “I Kissed A Man On National TV And I Liked It” Sam to the practice squad.

“It was a little longer than I expected,” said Sam, who is trying to become the first openly gay player to participate in an NFL regular-season game. “But you know what, I’m here now, and that’s all that matters.”

So that’s it.  I’m done with Dallas – for good, this time.  The Cowgirlz now become a PFW “Anti-Team” – meaning they’re now this scribe’s least-favorite team, more disliked than even the Warshington Foreskins or the San Transexual Fairy Whiners.

Which, speaking of them and getting on to the actual football around these parts, is coming to the Death Star Sunday to play the Cowgirls.  We’ll make this a wildcard game and pick the Whiners to win.

Cincy, meanwhile, travels to Baltimore to take on Flacco & the Ravens.  Balt’s defense isn’t what it used to be, not even with Elvis Dumberass Dumervil toiling for them, so I like the Bengals here.

Friday, Phil Young & my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are in Princeton, TX, to take on the Panthers in their season opener.  Princeton isn’t bad, and I expect Heights to have its hands full.

TCU is off this week, so for wildcard games we’ll go with Florida Atlantic visiting #2 Alabama, McNeese State headed to Lincoln to get squashed by #19 Nebraska, and #20 Kansas State to go up to Ames to smack around Iowa State.  (This is gonna be a long year for the Cyclones – if they can’t beat Division II N. Dakota State at home, who are  they gonna beat this year? (And no, smart asses – it ain’t gonna be TCU, so don’t even  go there.))

We’ll come back Monday or so with the recap.  In the meantime, my Vicar is cordially invited to write anything about any Mississippi team he chooses…

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A portent of things to come, most likely.

Arlington Heights 29, at Brewer 14

at TCU 48, Samford 14

at #22 Nebraska 55, Florida Atlantic 7

at #2 Alabama 33, W. Virginia 23

at #12 Georgia 45, #16 Clemson 21

at #18 Ole Miss 35, Boise St. 13

at Dallas 3, Denver 27

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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