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I’ll be honest here.  Though it counts as a loss in the PFW, I was actually happy that OU lost to A&M.

Here’s the deal:  It wasn’t so much that the Sooners beat TCU – because, if one is honest with oneself, they didn’t; it was handed to them by fucking blind-assed zebras.  Yet, did Bob Stoops & company acknowledge that fact?

Hell, no.

So when Johnny Heisman surgically dismantled the Sooner defense – it’d be three-and-out, punt, watch Manziel systematically drive down the field & score, rinse, lather repeat – my heart was anything but broken up about it.  And that’s pretty much how the second half went for the Aggies – by the start of the fourth quarter, the only question was the final margin of victory.

So yet again, Oklahoma goes into a bowl game with a team from the SEC – and once again, OU gets its head handed to them.  Schaudenfreude aside, this routine is getting very tiresome.  And if OU has any national championship aspirations going forward…it has to be tiresome for them, as well.

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Bucky couldn’t beat the Froggies – or keep it anywhere near close against Oregon – with  Bret Bielema.  Did anyone seriously  expect the Badgers to beat Stanford without  him?

(crickets)

Nah, I didn’t think so.

Kevin Hogan proved to be an adequate replacement for Andrew Luck, and Curt Phillips proved he was no Joel Stave, let alone a Russell Wilson or Scott Tolzien.  Bucky did  run for 217 yards but passed for only 83, whereas the Cardinal possessed a more balanced attack (187/157).  And the heretofore unheralded Stanford defense allowed Bucky nothing, save for a pair of 2nd-quarter touchdowns.

Bucky has since hired former Utah State coach Gary Andersen.  Be interesting to see how long he lasts before Barry Alverez pulls yet another head coaching vampire act and takes over again.

—

Once again, when victories were needed, the Cowgirlz – and Tony Romo – pulled their now-famous El Choko acts.

They let an injured ARRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  – aka the Quarterback of the Second Coming™ – run around, over, and through them, all the while on injured wheels.  And when it wasn’t him, it was NCAA Division XI running back (Florida Atlantic?  Really???) Alfrieda (no, no typo) Morris running through them, as well.

And even though he got second-, third- and fourth-stringers to play above their heads, the defense’s overall play rightly cost Rob Ryan his job (Dallas has since hired 4-3 “Tampa Two” guru Monte Kiffin, fired/released assistant coaches Skip Peete & John Garrett and turned play-calling duties over to Bill Callahan).  In seven years running the 3-4, Dallas made the playoffs four times and won one – yes, one – playoff game.

But then, this is what happens when your owner fancies himself a football man & superior GM.

—

Speaking of Bill Callahan, I’m done with him.

Bo Pelini, that is.  Man may as well be Bill Callahan to me.

After giving up 70 to an offensively-challanged Bucky, the so-called “Blackshirts” gave up damned near 50 to the ‘Dawgs.  This, when Pelini is supposedly:  1) a defensive guru, and 2) a big-game motivator of a coach.

I often speak of coaches being in over their heads – usually when speaking about Gary Patterson.  But it’s clear Pelini is of the ever-growing fraternity of coaches who make great coordinators, but who Peter Principle themselves when stepping into the top spot.  (See, “Campo, Dave”, “Turner, Norv”, “Wannstedt, Dave” and “Phillips, Wade” for reference.)  Pelini just can’t get the job done at this level, and it’s time for him to go.

And until Nebraska’s athletic director wises up & sees to it, the Huskers are once again out of the PFW.

—

Speaking of Gary Patterson…this one’s on him.

Tell me who in their right-fuckin’-mind leaves Skye “Clank” Dawson back for a punt deep in his own territory?

This guy has one asset:  Speed.  That’s it.  Nothing else.  He does not catch the ball well.  He does not hold onto the ball well when he does  have it.  He is the absolute last person you want handling a punt.  Hell, I’d let a lineman  field a punt before Skye Dawson.

Yet there he was, he & Patterson daring fate.  And Fate™ rose up and bit both Patterson & Dawson flush in the ass.

Boom – fumble.  Boom – Spartans recover.  Boom – the subsequent score provided the winning points.

Gary?  Remember the concept of “attaboy/awshit”?  That stupid-assed decision to put “Clank” back there rates as one of your poorer ones – and is absolutely “awshit”-worthy.

Next year, you get Pachall back.  (Now, I had previously predicted he’d never play another down for the Frogs, and I still don’t necessarily think he should, but…)  Any more dumbshit decisions like this, and it’ll be 7-6 all over again.

And then, maybe it’s time for your coaching acumen to be questioned.

—

So, there you go.  Oh-and-five.  Going completely winless in a PFW.  In seven years of doing this, an oh-fer when all (well, most) of my teams were in has never happened.

Until now.

And in watching this travesty, I’m seeing programs that think they’re automatically entitled to win – just throw the ball out there and let the wins roll in.  These programs think their shit don’t stink.

And that attitude…is highly offensive.  And it showed in the bowl results, and in the end of the season for the Cowgirlz.

There will be changes in the Perfect Football Weekend™ come next season.  What we saw this year, we will not see next year.  (And don’t get me wrong – once again, I fully realize that this has all the effect of a gnat’s fart in the Real World™.  I’m well aware that the world does not revolve around either me or This Fine Blog™.  This is just how pissed off I am about the crappy play I had to watch this year, mkay?)

However, with all that said – I’m once again invoking Executive Fiat™ because of this.

Seattle 24, Warshington Foreskins 14

The Second Coming™ wasn’t even the best rookie quarterback on the field.  How fucking sweet was that?

This week:  0-6.  Perfect Football Weekend achieved, anyway (Executive Fiat™ (9)).  Final 2012 record:  58-37.

We’ll reconvene in August, after the Tex-ass StrangerS™ have long since made themselves irrelevant in, say, June.  And we’ll be back with different teams – and, hopefully, different attitudes.

See you then.

Well, so much for Wylie East.  Kinda hard to win when you can’t stop anyone.  But don’t take my word for it – ask Rob Ryan.

—

Prior to last Sunday’s debacle against the Saints – another eleven-on-eighteen travesty on which I don’t really have time to expound – Dallas had won five of six, and (even in the loss) has actually been playing pretty well.  The light seems to have gone on in Dez Bryant’s head, and Tony Romo has been the beneficiary.

The line still sucks, but Jeremy Parnell has been getting extra playing time, and the light may have gone on in his head, too.  In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me next year if Dougie “Hah! Toro!!!” Free were to be shifted inside to guard, and Parnell installed as the permanent right tackle.

Brandon Carr is finally earning some of that $50 extra-extra-large (that’s million  to you folks in the Church of the SubTarded™) – he’s had a couple of picks the last few games, one coming against Pittsburgh that all but gave Dallas the win.

Carry this over into next year, have a decent draft with another corner/safety and maybe a lineman or two, and this becomes a very  dangerous team.

—

That does it.  I’ve seen enough of Bo Pelini.

The man goes into the Great-Coordinator-Shitty-Head-Coach Club™.  Right there along with Dave Campo, Norv Turner and Dave Wannstedt, among others.  Put the man in a big game – a bowl, or a championship game – and his team pulls the big El Choko act.

Bucky turned on the jets from the opening kickoff, and didn’t let up until it was already 63-17 after three.  The Blackshirts (really oughta be called the Whiteshirts, ’cause at least then they could wave ‘em as white flags) gave up 640 yards of total offense – 539 of that on the ground.

Lemme say that again.  A team that fired its O-line coach in September, pushed the Husker E-fense (once again, no D) around for 539 yards.

What an effing embarrassment.

This team has gone as far as it can under Bo Pelini.  If it wants to go to the next level, Bo should have been gone the next day.  (As it is, he’ll coach the Capital One Bowl game against Georgia.  And if the team that gave ‘Bama all it could handle in the SEC Championship does to NU what S. Carolina did last year, Bo won’t be there long after that.)

—

TCU was called for a phantom holding penalty on a Trevone Boykin touchdown pass that would’ve tied the score.

On a 66-yard scoring run, OU was not  called for a hold so obvious, even their own radio announcers couldn’t help but notice it.

Let’s get one thing straight, Sooners:  We kicked your ass.  Absolutely knocked the shit out of you.  You got given  that game, because the Big XII higher-ups decided you were going to win it so that you could have a chance to go to a BCS bowl.  (Of course, TU would’ve had to beat K-State for you to accomplish that – yeah, like that was gonna happen.)

Enjoy it now. boys.  The day’s coming when not even the zebras will be able to save your sorry asses.

This week (cough):  5-4.  Three PFWs achieved (one each for Dallas beating Cincy, Philthy & Pittsburgh, which were the only games on those respective weekend dockets (8)).  Overall:  58-32.

The PFW will return Friday for the Bowl Edition.  Assuming, of course, that:  (1) I have time to crank ‘em out, and (2) these machines don’t go belly-up again (keep your fingers crossed).

New favorite “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) team Wylie East survived a scare against Whitehouse.  Kevon Mack scored on a six-yard run with just under a minute left to seal the win.  (Don’t bother clicking the link – it’s the Moaning Snooze’s pay site.)

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Landry Jones had his second straight 500-yard passing day (along with three scores), and RB Brennan Clay pounded it in from 18 yards out after the Sooners held OSU to a field goal in overtime.

—

Nebraska could get absolutely nowhere  against the Hawkeyes, who looked for all the world like the old Pittsburgh Steelers out there…right down to the uniforms.

Nebraska’s offense spent much of the day stifled by a stiff wind that gusted up to 40 mph and a surprisingly stout Iowa defense.

[...]

A mild fall in the Midwest came to an abrupt end on Friday.

During the national anthem, the breeze at Kinnick Stadium was so strong it nearly blew over the American flag — and the man holding it. The wind chill hovered in the teens all day.

The conditions made passing a risky venture. Martinez threw for just 63 yards, while Iowa’s James Vandenberg had 92 yards passing and two picks.

“It was really difficult. That wind and that cold weather,” Martinez said. “My hands were frozen.”

Rex Burkhead (five straight missed games) to the rescue.

On a cold and blustery afternoon with a spot in the Big Ten title game on the line, Burkhead proved why he’s so valuable to the Huskers.

Burkhead scored the go-ahead touchdown in his return from a knee injury and Nebraska (No. 14 BCS, No. 17 AP) beat Iowa 13-7 on Friday to claim the Legends Division’s berth in the championship game.

—

Fire Bret Bielema.  That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

You’re a major college program, and you let the Nittany Pussies beat you, jackass.

Yes, the Nittany Pussies.  A half-assed excuse-for-a-college football program that lost about a third of its players this year after they dragged a good man through the sewage for doing what Pennsylvania state law required him to do concerning Jerry Sandusky.  And your half-assed team can’t beat them.

You don’t deserve to be a head coach, Bielema.  Hell – you might be worse than Todd Whitten – and that’s  saying something.

—

And, speaking of morons who don’t deserve to be head coaches…

Fire Rob Ryan now.

I’ll say it again:  ARRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!  simply.  Isn’t.  That.  Good.  He’s Donna McNabb without the talent.

Yet, the Cowgirl e-fense – that’s right, no D – allows him 28 points during a second quarter collapse, then allows him another  touchdown pass in the third, all because after 10 games, this piece-of-shit unit hasn’t figured out WHO THE FUCKING HELL TO COVER!!!!!!!!  on pass patterns.

And then the Lame-Assed Media™ treats the pussy like he’s the Second Coming™.

Bull.  Fucking.  Shit.

I’ll say it again:  If he’s That Damned Good™ (a little Triple H lingo, there), explain A&M.  Explain Oklahoma State.  Tell me why he damned near lost to Kansas, the worst defense in the nation last year.  Explain how, had TCU had a field-goal kicker last year, America’s Darling™ would be OH-AND-FUCKING-TWO  against them

Moreover, explain the six teams that have buried the Foreskins this year.

Last but not least, explain how He Who Supposedly Walks On Water™ couldn’t run away from this:

I.  Rest.  My.  Fucking.  Case.

Yet, it all speaks more to the cupcake-ness of the Cowgirls than it does to any alleged talent that ARRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!  might possibly possess.  A team with scant more than a half-assed defense would pound this assclown into the turf.

Dallas…doesn’t.  And never will, as long as Owner Jethro is more interested in having Victoria’s Secret at Cowgirls Stadium than having an actual football team housed there.

—

The final score of Frog-Short-Dick Longhorn Short-dick is not indicative of just how TU was abso-fuckin’-lutely dominated.  Flat-out, TCU kicked Mack Brown’s ass.  Up the field & right back down.

And they’re not happy about it in Austin.  Not at all:

Organized. Intense. Prepared. Three words that wouldn’t describe the Texas Longhorns in their 20-13 loss Thanksgiving night to TCU.

Whatever momentum the Longhorns built in their wins over Texas Tech and Iowa State, and whatever growth was made by the program during that time, now appears gone. When the Horned Frogs weren’t pounding the Longhorns into submission, Texas did the damage to itself in a game that was as frustrating and deflating as any of the recent ones in the Mack Brown era that fit the description.

What went wrong? And where are the Longhorns — 8-3 overall, 5-3 in the Big 12 — at this late point in their season?

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A fish rots from the head down.

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Thank you Jeff for telling it like it is. Mack and company discount fan grumblings. The longhorns were unprepared for what hit them and unable to adjust. In fact, TCU made better adjustments than did Texas and they were ahead. The coaches should not worry because the winning season will bring the traditional performance bonuses.

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The only thing that is going to turn around this program is to fire Mack effective at the end of the season and ya might wanna look at firing Dodds as well. This milk and cookies approach that Mack has is not and will not work. Texas needs to cut its losses and move on.

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FIRE MACK BROWN NOW.

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An elite program in sports wins the games it should and then even wins a few of the games it is predicted to lose. Given that Texas pretty well has the pick of high school athletes in Texas, the question is why teams such as TCU, Baylor, West Virginia, and Kansas gave us trouble. It is the recruiting? Is it the coaching? We just do not know. But what is clear from the examples at Notre Dame, A&M, Florida State, and Florida, that a good coaching staff does make a difference even if the talent is roughly the same as before. I think today’s game needs great coaching. MB is just not getting the job done so you are either satisfied where we are today or you have to move on.

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I agree with coach -They’re real good and by the way they are better than TCU. I stopped my delusion 3 years ago(5-7). As long as saleman at the top of the helm, I would like to have my reality in check. I refuse to be led by someone who coach the top ten in the country of recruit classes into an average team at best.

Ex-squeeze me?.  Baking powder?

“Better than TCU”?

I hate to tell that last commenter (“Notarious”, whatever that  means) something – but TCU did this with what is, basically, what should have been second-and-third stringers this year.  Boykin.  Catalon.  Sam Carter.  Fields.  LaDarius Brown.  Cam White.  Ray Burns.

Your average T-sipper (complete with outstretched pinky) won’t want to hear this, but a completely-intact TCU squad – with Pachall and Waymon James and Tanner Brock and all the rest of those guys still playing – would have totally demolished  Tee Ewe.  I’m talking blow-fucking-out here.

But that’s Tee Ewe for you:  An entitlement attitude in a city dominated by the Entitlement Party (yes, that would be the Demoscum).  And that’s  why kicking their Burnt Orange asses was so schweet.

So much so, in fact, that – despite Bucky failing me – it’s time for Yet Another Executive Fiat™. 

This week:  4-2.  Perfect Football Weekend™ achieved (Executive Fiat (5)).  Overall:  53-28.

The PFW returns Friday, when we guarantee we won’t have a PFW – for reasons that will become abundantly clear.  See you then.

And Sulphur Springs is banished to high school football purgatory for another year.

(Y’all realize, of course, that they’re on my shit list only until Skip starts playing for teh varsity, right?  Then they’re a permanent fixture in the PFW.  Hell – they’ll prolly take Heights’ place, if the bozos at the FWISD keep Todd Whitten around.)

—

Great.  Now  West Virginia decides to show up.

—

Bucky:  What’d I Tell Ya?

—

Husker-Gopher:  Yawn.

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Second place in the Big South.  Good job at Liberty, Turner Gill.

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If the Cowgirlz suck like this against Cleveland, for Cthulhu’s sake, what’s gonna happen tomorrow?

This week:  5-1.  Overall:  49-26.

Quick turnaround, as we’ll come back tomorrow and do this all again.

Heights actually put up a pretty good fight before falling late against the Pirates.  Shouldn’t be enough to save Todd Whitten’s job, but he can teach P.E. at one of the feeder schools, I imagine.

—

Turner Gill’s calling card is usually offense.  But the defense did it for Liberty Saturday.

Nick Sigmon returned an interception for a touchdown as Liberty’s defense forced five turnovers in a 28-14 win over Stony Brook Saturday.

Liberty’s opportunistic defense in the second half led to the win. Sigmon intercepted Kyle Essington’s third-quarter pass and returned it 21 yards for the score, extending the Flames’ lead to 21-7.

—

Given up for dead a few weeks ago, Bucky may actually have a shot at the Big Ten title.

Montee Ball and James White put Wisconsin’s Big Ten title hopes back on track Saturday.

The two running backs ran for 359 yards and five touchdowns and Ball moved into second place on the career touchdown list, leading the Badgers to a 62-14 rout at Indiana and back to the Big Ten title game. Wisconsin finished with a school-record 564 yards rushing and crushed the Memorial Stadium record for an opponent — 441 yards by Michigan State in 1974 and matched by Northwestern in 1999.

That gives you an idea about the Big Ten.

—

I’ve told anyone who’d listen that, had the TCU & OU games been switched for Baylor last year, the Cubbies would’ve lost them both.  Baylor caught TCU when they were inexperienced, and they caught OU last year when they were hurt.

OU’s a little healthier this year, and the results were a little better.

The Bears, who entered the game with the nation’s top overall offense and top passing attack, piled up 252 yards on the ground and became the fourth Sooners opponent to surpass 200 yards rushing. Florence had 83 yards and a score, to go with 172 yards on 12-for-33 passing with no interceptions, and Glasco Martin ran for 60 yards.

Some of what Oklahoma’s defense gave up was by design after eventual Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III threw for 479 yards — and Baylor racked up 616 yards, the most ever by a Sooners opponent — in a 45-38 win by the Bears last season that remains their only win in 22 meetings.

“The way you have to play these guys, to limit their passing big plays, you have to make them hand the ball off and hope you can come up with your third-down stops and fourth-down stops,” Stoops said.

Oklahoma’s defense was up to the task this time. Terrance Williams, the nation’s top receiver, had six catches for 91 yards — but that was 76 below his average. Florence also had a season low in passing yardage, getting held to 127 yards fewer than any other game this season.

—

In Happy Valley tonight, they’re bitching about a call that didn’t go their way…and shouldn’t have.

The turning point, according to Penn State, was a fumble in the middle of the fourth quarter with Nebraska leading 27-23.

PSU tight end Matt Lehman was ruled to have fumbled into the end zone before the ball crossed the goal line. Nebraska recovered, and the call was confirmed on video review.

O’Brien said he thought the ball broke the plane.

Oh, of course  he did.  And so does the rest of Happy Valley – even the jerkwads posing as Nebraska fans who say, “I’m a Husker fan, but…”

Taylor was a pedantic 12-20-171 with a score.  Ameer Abdullah ran 31 times for 116 yards.

—

The Cowgirlz followed the Nebraska Husker Theory™ for success yesterday:  Knock the starting quarterback out of the the game.

The Eagles were losing when Michael Vick left the game with a concussion, but [backup Nick] Foles was already a wanted man in Philadelphia because Eagles’ fans think Vick is too injury- and turnover-prone for a quarterback with four years left on a fat contract.

Foles had teased Eagles’ fans with strong performances in the preseason, and he threw a touchdown pass less than 10 minutes after replacing Vick. But he faltered later, and the Eagles fell apart to the Cowboys.

A punt return for a TD by Dwayne Harris, a pick-six by Brandon Carr and a fumble recovery in the end zone on a subsequent Foles sack sealed the game for Dallas.

—

Kansas State reminds one of the Frogs of two years ago.

Coach Bill Snyder’s Kansas State Wildcats have the stifling defense, the creative quarterback and the bountiful experience to get there.

He has a young, ever-improving defense but a depth chart of TCU underclassmen with some tough lessons to learn.

The Kansas State starting defense lists eight seniors and three juniors. The quarterback, Collin Klein, is a wily senior.

Remind you of anybody?

“I thought they were about like Wisconsin,” suggested [TCU coach Gary] Patterson, harking back to the Badgers team that the Frogs faced in the 2010-season Rose Bowl.

I’ll go, however, with a comparison that should be more familiar. With their savvy, experienced, Andy Dalton-like quarterback, the Wildcats resemble the TCU team that went 13-0 that season.

Agreed.  Senior quarterback that makes almost no mistakes, talent at the skill positions, a suffocating defense.  And  they know how to wear purple uniforms.

Sigh.

TCU will be there, eventually.  It’ll just take a couple of years, that’s all.

This week:  5-2.  Perfect Football Weekend achieved (Executive Fiat – Penn State loses to Nebraska (4)).  Overall:  44-25.

The PFW will return Friday or thereabouts, soon as I can find a replacement for my failed Yellow Jackets.

A retired New Hampshire doctor and school board member has caused an uproar with his proposed ban on high school football, saying the game is too dangerous for underage students.

High school football is an American institution, so when Dr. Paul Butler advanced what many people believe is a radical idea at a sparsely attended meeting in Dover, N.H., the former high school football player caused a commotion near and far.

“We have a moral imperative to at least begin the process of ending this game.” Butler told “Good Morning America.”

“The literature is clear. This is a dangerous game for children to be playing.”

Oh, the “literature is clear”, all right.  And disturbingly so, I might add.

We’ve let the Pink Pansy-assed Pusstard Brigade™ get a foot in the door, sissyfying the game to the point where it’s a major penalty for hitting a receiver too hard (“defenseless”, my ass), and if you don’t sack the quarterback just so  (tilt your head alllll  the way back and gently ease him to the ground so you don’t make even the slightest contact with said QB’s helmet, don’tcha know), that’s a 15-yarder, too.

What’s next – asking the running back for permission to go two-below?

Fortunately, the good people of New Hampshire – and others – still have a bit of brass left.

Critics of his proposed ban include the school board chairman and the local newspaper.

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh has even chimed in on the subject, describing critics of football as “pantywaists who want to try to take the risk out of everything in life.”

Butler admits that he lacks the votes to ban football right now, but given the mounting evidence, he adds, his proposal is a first step toward the inevitable.

Yeah – a pussified excuse-for-a-doctor-human being found in an alleyway with the shit beaten out of him.

Just sayin’.

Let’s get on with the football.  My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are on the field on a rare Saturday taking on the Southwest Raiders Rebels (fuck you, FWISD).

Southwest gave Aledo a run for its money last week (eventually losing, 8-24), so this is going to be a major squash.  The end of Todd Whitten’s AHHS coaching career can’t come soon enough for this scribe.

One hour after that starts, Gary Patterson’s TCU Horned Frogs will be in West Virginia for a matchup against the Mountaineers.

A few weeks ago, I’d've penciled this in as a guaranteed loss.  And the Tadpoles still might find a way to cough this one up.  But WVa hasn’t been playing all that well as of late, and it’s been established that they don’t have a defense (Baylor put 63 up on ‘em in Morgantown).

Vegas likes the Mountaineers at home by 4, so we’ll see.

Also today, 12th-ranked Oklahoma, fresh off it’s whipping by the Irish, get Iowa State up in Ames.  OU should be pretty pissed by now, and Vegas thinks so, too; they’re favoring the Sooners by 13.

The early game today has Bo Pelini’s 20th-ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers on the road against Michigan State’s Spartans.  State hasn’t been the world-beaters everyone in Lansing thought they were gonna be, but they did  beat Smurf Turf State, so…

However, Vegas doesn’t have a line on this game for some reason.  If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say they were expecting a squash.  (shrug) Who knows?

Liberty tries to get back on the winning track against Charleston Southern.  Presbyterian gave CSU a better game than they did the Flames, so I like Liberty here, straight up.  (Then again, I liked LIberty against Coastal Carolina last week, so what do I know?)

Sunday night Hotlanta goes to 8-0 as they obliterate El Choko and the Dallas Cowgirlz before Al Michaels, Cris Collinsworth and a national audience.  This should  teach Owner Jethro what a real  football team looks like, but it’s Owner Jethro, so the message will go over his head, as usual.  The over/under on El Choko pick-sixes is two, so watch for him to throw three.

Bucky is off this week.

We’re back Monday or so with the recap.  In the meantime, the question for HDD is…when was the last time you saw Bucky lose a home game before last week?

I actually saw most of Cougar-Yellow Jacket.  And for most of the first two-plus quarters, Heights was kicking Hills’ ass.

Then, after a long Cougar TD drive, the Jackets get the ball back…and promptly fumble it.

About that time, Hills figured out it could run on AHHS’ defense.

Western Hills (2-6, 1-4) completed only one pass. But its ground game, led by bullish fullback Aaron Stevenson, amassed 388 yards and had 10 more first downs than the Yellow Jackets. Stevenson carried 35 times for 215 yards and four touchdowns.

They’d either beat Heights to the corner on a pitch, or fake that and gash the Jackets right up the middle.  One would’ve sworn it was LaDainian Tomlinson all over again vs. UTEP.

Only an Angel Gonzalez field goal with six minutes left saved Heights.  That, and the fact that Hills isn’t very good, either.

—

For Nebraska, the secret is simple:  Get to the other team’s starting QB.  Do that, and victory is assured.

It happened last year with Braxton Miller & Ohio State.  This year, Michigan signal-caller extraordinaire Denard Robinson injured an elbow and had to leave the game – after which, the Huskers rolled.  Robinson’s backup, Russell Bellomy, threw three interceptions as the Wolverines could only manage three field goals.

Taylor Martinez was 14-24-166 with a touchdown & a pick.  Running back Ameer Abdullah ran 24 times for 101 yards (Martinez added 58 on 14 carries).

—

Michigan State followed that formula against Bucky.  Once they got Joel Stave out of the game in the second half, the Badgers had no choice but to turn back to backup Danny O’Brien – who will never make anyone forget namesake Davey.

To give you an idea of how bad it was…Bucky rushed for a total of 19 yards.  No – that’s not a typo.  The team that ran over, around & through TCU two years ago in the Rose Bowl could only manage 19 rushing yards total against the Spartans.

One gets the impression that there are going to be wholesale changes in Madison in the off-season – starting with the offensive coaching staff, particularly the line.

—

When you’re getting beaten by a team called the Chanticleers, it’s bad.

Coastal Carolina’s LaDarius Hawthorne intercepted a pass and returned it 66 yards for a touchdown on Liberty’s first possession, and the Chanticleers put away the Flames with 21 second-half points in a 36-12 victory on Saturday.

Jeremy Height ran for 99 yards and touchdowns in the second and third quarters for Coastal Caroliina (4-4, 2-1 Big South). The Chanticleers outgained the Flames (3-5, 2-1) 226 yards to 86 on the ground.

Next stop for Turner Gill:  Running backs coach.  (sigh)

—

Honestly, I didn’t think Notre Dame was that fast.

Shows what I know.

On the other hand, Bob Stoops’ program has once again been exposed as an also-ran.  Can beat the weak-sisters-of-the-poor, can beat TU (but I repeat myself) – but put them up against a quality team, and they wilt.  Landry Jones pretty much cemented in everyone’s mind that he might make it in the NFL as a backup.

Might.

The way he played Saturday night (35-51-356-no touchdowns), he couldn’t have beaten out Stephen McGee for the Dallas Cowgirlz’ third-string.  And McGee got cut.

And then, he had the gall to show a little arrogance after the game.

“We’re better than we were at the start of the season,” Jones said. “We hit a bump in the road. Maybe the national championship’s not in the picture, that’s probably gone, but we still have the Big 12 and a bowl game up in front of us.”

Landry, m’boy?  Perhaps you might google “Kinsler, Ian”.

—

El Choko was, once again, El Choko.

Four picks.  One a pick-six.

Toss in a fumble by Felix “Bust” Jones, and an apparent touchdown catch by Dez Bryant where he just had  to brace his fall with his right hand – right on the cusp of the end boundary – and it’s yet another loss to the Douchebags, who’ve never lost at Owner Jethro’s Mausoleum.

(Oh, and don’t even  get me started on “Big Clusterfuck” Bryant.  Runs the wrong route on El Choko’s first pick, muffs a punt that he tried to catch over his shoulder, then fumbles it when he does  get control of it…this asshole’s my sixth receiver on a five-receiver depth chart.  I’m serious – I cut the motherfucker tomorrow.  He hurts my team more then he helps it.  I can find kids off the street who’ll make the same fuckups for a lot less than Bryant will.  And they  won’t be half as arrogant.)

And afterwards, there’s Owner Jethro once again, sniveling about how “disappointed” he was that his Folly™ “din’ win da bawwwwl gayyyme”.

Fucking asshat.  How about you get, y’know, actually pissed  about it and start making some heads roll, eh, you effin’ Arkans-ass moron?

Worthless piece of shit.

And then there’s Jason “Red-Headed Jesus” Garrett, pissing & moaning about how they “need to get better”.

For about the 20th week in a row.

Same stump speech.  Same bat-time.  Same bat-channel.  Stop me if you’ve heard it before.  ‘Cause I know I  have.

He sounds boring.  The Cowgirlz play  boring.  I’m about to the point where I wanna throw them out of the PFW, ’cause I can’t stand to watch them.

Fuck’m.  Just fuck’m.

—

As much as it pains me to say this…I think TCU’s already won all the games it’s going to this year.  And though that means no bowl for the Frogs, I just don’t see how they’re going to scratch out one more win with a lineup of freshmen & sophomores against the teeth of a Big XII schedule.

They started off great against Okie State – then just collapsed.  Score the first 14, give up the last 36.  And Okie State’s not really that good, and  they were going with a starting quarterback that hadn’t played in six weeks, and still  did that to the Frogs.

Just get ‘em ready for next season, Gary Patterson, and don’t worry about this one.  You didn’t ask for half your team to go choom themselves off the roster.

—

As bad as all that was, it’s still a Perfect Football Weekend™, just for this one result:

at Penn State 23, Ohio State 35

Thank you, Urban Meyer.

Braxton Miller does stuff you can’t teach, and No. 9 Ohio State is riding its Heisman Trophy contender to a memorable season — despite the limitations.

Miller ran for 134 yards and accounted for three touchdowns a week after getting knocked out of a game, leading the Buckeyes to a 35-23 victory against Penn State on Saturday.

Ryan Shazier returned an interception 17 yards for a score early in the third quarter that gave the Buckeyes (9-0, 5-0 Big Ten) the lead for good, and the Nittany Lions (5-3, 3-1) and coach Bill O’Brien had their five-game winning streak snapped in a matchup of the Big Ten’s bowl-banned perennial powers.

This week:  3-5.  Perfect Football Weekend achieved (executive fiat) (3).  Overall:  35-21.

The PFW returns for a special Saturday edition.  Primarily ’cause Heights loses Saturday this coming week, instead of Friday.  See you then.

Damn.  When you lose to O-D-Freakin’-Wyatt…you suck.

Like I said Friday, Todd Whitten, enjoy your year here – you won’t get another one.

—

Sirchauncey Holloway rushed for two touchdowns as Liberty defeated Concord 21-13 Saturday in a nonconference game.

(Hat tip ESPN.com)

—

Kansas may have a chance under Charlie Weis someday.  Maybe.  If OU loses 90% of its scholarships, perhaps.  And if the game’s in Lawrence.

Not Saturday, though.

Landry Jones threw for 291 yards and three touchdowns with no interceptions as Oklahoma improved to 14-0 under coach Bob Stoops in games immediately after the Longhorns matchup.

“It wasn’t hard to stay focused on Kansas. We know that Notre Dame’s a great team but we’re a great team also,” Finch said. “So, we just wanted to close out Kansas and we know that the game ahead of us next Saturday is going to be a crazy game.”

James Sims ran for 102 yards and a shutout-preventing touchdown run in the fourth quarter for Kansas, which lost its 16th straight conference game and 27th out of the last 28.

That, and a punt & kickoff return (both for scores) sealed Rock Chalk’s fate.

—

Taylor Martinez may have finally come of age Saturday.

The Cornhuskers (5-2, 2-1 Big Ten) rallied from 12 down in the fourth, taking a one-point lead when Martinez hit Ben Cotton with a 7-yard pass with just more than 2 minutes left, and hung on when a 53-yard field goal attempt by Northwestern’s Jeff Budzien barely missed wide right with 1:10 remaining. That kept Nebraska in the thick of the Legends division race after being blown out at Ohio State two weeks earlier.

The Cornhuskers can thank Martinez for that. He led them to two touchdowns in the fourth quarter and completed 27-of-39 passes in the game, helping Nebraska rack up 543 yards of total offense.

And even at that, it took N’western missing a field goal attempt to seal the win.

Seriously, Huskers.  Northwestern really ain’t that good.  You guys should be 2-0 against them in the Big Ten, not 1-1 and damned near 0-2.

—

Wisconsin was finally Wisconsin against UMinne-haha Saturday.

James White raced 15 times through Minnesota’s defense for 175 yards rushing and three touchdowns, carrying Wisconsin to a 38-13 victory over Minnesota on Saturday, the ninth straight time the Badgers have beaten the Gophers to keep Paul Bunyan’s Axe.

Montee Ball let his partner steal the show for most of the afternoon but still muscled his way for 166 yards on 24 attempts and two fourth-quarter scores to put the game out of reach and push the Badgers (6-2, 3-1 Big Ten) to their 21st win in a row at Camp Randall Stadium.

And that’s  the ground game I’ve been expecting from Bucky for a while now.

—

Dallas was…bleh…on Sunday.

They still commit dumb-assed penalties.  They still can’t block for the run.  They still have trouble protecting El Choko (although, to be fair, they kept him upright Sunday).  And they still allow quarterbacks & wideouts to play pitch & catch.

That said…Carolina helped them out.  Cam Newton was positively awful in that game.  He had a couple of good runs, and a nice pass or two, but for this guy, a former #1 draft pick, to have this kind of day against a team that he should  have dominated (even moreso when Sean Lee went out with a toe injury)…sad.

But that’s the kind of year it’s going to be for the Panthers.  At least they’ll get another high draft pick out of it.

—

The General advises me that the Generalette is, shall we say, very interested in my take on Frog-Raider Saturday.

Now, I only caught snippets of the game, the Mrs. and me having been invited to a birthday dinner out in Far West Fort Worth/Benbrook (very close to the old digs where SCBBS all started twenty years ago).

But I will make two observations:

1. A wholly intact Frog team – and this means no drug bust back in the spring, Tanner Brock and the rest of them never get removed from the team, no Casey Pachall DUI bust/subsequent suspension and departure, Stansly Maponga not injured, etc. – would have destroyed Tech, and it wouldn’t have even been close.  As much as this loss tears my insides up like a cheese grater, I can at least take solace in that Tuberville’s crew only won by three, in three  overtimes, playing basically the equivalent of a JV squad.

2. Tech & the rest of the Big-However-Many-There-Are had best get ready.  Because in two or three years, when these guys are all upperclassmen, the Frogs are gonna make that national championship run.  Meaning, we’re gonna be treating the conference like the old Mountain West.

So get your lumps in now, guys.  In two years…it’s payback time.

This week:  5-2.  Overall:  32-16*

(* At least, I think  that’s what it is – kinda difficult to go back over the last couple weeks, for obvious (if you’ve been keeping up) reasons.)

Now that we’re back in the swing, the PFW will return Friday, when we’ll celebrate Homecoming Week.  See you then.