Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 9:04
AUSTIN – Just a reminder to all Denizens (and LCs too, since this’ll be cross-posted in the Empire -
Don’t buy anything today. Big-ticket items, groceries, gas if you can possibly avoid it – anything. Keep your wallets in your pockets and your purses at home.
Instead, buy everything you want/need/gotta have/can’t do without tomorrow, May 1st.
The reason, as you should know by now is that the pendejos who are still here illegally plan on attempting to cripple our country’s economy – as if they think that the 11-12 million of them is somehow a larger number than the 280-290 million of us.
Oh, and if you should happen to notice any businesses closed tomorrow for this illegal alien temper tantrum, make a note of it and resolve not to do business there again. Let us know, too, so that we can show them our economic clout, as well.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 7:55
Denizens, I’ll be in Austin the next three days for the Jawja Invasion, playing the role of Spatula of Borg (Resistance is Futile).
We’ll have ‘em sayin’ “fixin’ t’” by the time this is all done
Stand by for live blogging…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 23:35
guest workers undocumented workers illegal aliens invasion force is crying in its Dos Equis about the ICE raids that took place last week. And they’re whining because they think that it’s in retaliation for the Million Pendejo March a couple weeks ago.
Ice cream vendor Floriano Maldonado, 48, believes that the raids are real and that they are directly related to the April 9 march when hundreds of thousands of people marched through Dallas advocating immigrants’ rights.
“We told them, ‘We’re here!’ and now they’re coming after us,” Mr. Maldonado said.
Yeah? So? Whatever the fuck about it? I had family in law enforcement, and lemme tell ya something, cabezas de los boyos – when lawbreakers rub it in an LEO’s face, said LEO tends to get a mite pissed about it. I mean, it’s not like you bastards can say you weren’t expecting us to just bend over and grab the ankles, now can you?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:02
‘S a funny thing about political capital: Y’always think you have more than you do, and y’always spend it faster than you think.
Case in point: George W. “Wussya” Bush. Oh yeah, after the ’04 election, he crowed that he had a ton of the stuff, and that he was going to “spend it”. And then he proceeded to do the drunken sailor act thereupon.
Well, now he’s tapped. Last little bit – with me and a couple of other folks, anyway – came the other day when he flat-out refused to do squat about the
undocumented workers guest workers illegal aliens invasion force that’s infected the country he swore to protect & defend.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:05
Presumably, it happened around 12:25 this morning, though I tend to doubt that.
Whatever, visitor number 50,000 has now happened by this particular site.
Thanks to all who’ve graced me with your presence. Yes, even you fuckheaded libtards. Yes, even that limpwristed plays-with-inflatable-dolls chickenshit, Michael “Mykki” Cortese.
Here’s to the next 50,000.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:06
The Arsenal of Freedom is now complete. (Well, the Handgun Division, anyway. (grin))
A Taurus 817 7-shot .38 special. Special shock-absorbing grip to better handle the recoil. This will replace the Smith & Wesson 638, which I’ve grown to dislike more than just a bit. It very likely becomes the carry piece of choice, as well – though it’s sister, the .357 Magnum, could still overtake it.
And yes – I’ll definitely be one of the more popular bloggers in Austin this weekend.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 19:55
LC & IB Delftsman reminds us that it’s Holocaust Rememberance Day – also known as “Give the Iranian President a Dirty Swirly Day”, but that’s another post – and we stop down, remember, and mourn our Jewish brethren.
Delfts’ father was nearly a fatality of the Holocaust, and gave Focus on the Family an interview last week on his experiences, which you are cordially invited to go check out.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:51
Sorry, Denizens. Yet another One-Legged Man day was followed immediately by an evening cleaning the Arsenal of Freedom in advance of this weekend’s Blodger invasion.
But, courtesy of the Emperor, I did get a chance to skim over a piece by our good friend and Denizen, the Dread Pundit Bluto, who has come upon this response to the Santa Cruz Chickenshits.
Shove those up your asses, snot-noses. Personally, it’s make my day to send one of those over Iraq with one of you as a hood ornament…
UPDATE: Newly arrived limpwristed skank DocAmazing – what’s so amazing, assclown, the fact that they shaved your pubes and your back and still couldn’t find your dick? – comes up for air from that rimjob he’s giving Mykki Chickenshit long enough to inform us it was Santa Cruz, not Santa Clara.
He then reminded us that his butt-buddy Mykki was still too much of a coward to come get his ass-kicking, so I guess he’s good for something, anyway. (snicker)
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 12:22
Okay, so let me get this straight: Leaks to prove a Bush critic was lying (which, because Bush authorized them, are by their very definition not leaks at all): Bad.
But leaks that do damage to our interrogations of terrorists – and consequently, our efforts in the War on Terror – and, by extension, to the President – well, those are good.
At least, that’s what The Other “MassaChewsShits” Loser is saying:
Sen. John Kerry is defending CIA leaker Mary McCarthy, who was fired by the agency on Friday for revealing classified information about secret CIA interrogations of top al Qaeda suspects.
“If you’re leaking to tell the truth, Americans are going to look at that [and] at least mitigate or think about what are the consequences that you, you know, put on that person,” Kerry told ABC’s “This Week.”
Actually, O Qing of Qetchup and Lavender Hearts, what Americans are going to look at are the Donktards’ double standards when it comes to your pathetic, half-assed accusations.
“Obviously they’re not going to keep their job, but there are other larger issues here,” he insisted.
“Yeah!!! We gotta do everything we can to get that eeeeevil, mean BusHitler OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!”
Kerry prefaced his remarks by noting: “Clearly, leaking is against the law. And nobody should leak. I abhor leaking. I don’t like it.”
“Except when we can use it to make Chimpy look bad!!! YEAHHHHHHH!!!”
But the 2008 presidential hopeful complained that sometimes “classification in Washington is a tool that is used to hide the truth from the American people.”
This from the stupid SOB who still – STILL!!! – refuses to sign his Form 180 and release his military records to the public.
Kerry said that he was “glad” the CIA leaker “told the truth,” before adding: “But she’s going to obviously — if she did it, if she did it – suffer the consequences of breaking the law.”
Much like you did when you were conspiring with the Viet Cong while still a member of the US Armed Forces, you tumblefucked titmouse?
F.I.J.F.I. (Fuck ‘Im. Just Fuck ‘Im.)
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:15
Denizens, your homework assignment is this excellent rant by our dear Emperor.
Now. Looks like a busy weekend, so I may be here, may not. Keep checking back.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:47
Item: recruiters choose discretion as the better part of valor rather than give a gaggle of snot-nosed assclowns the bitch-slapping they deserved.
Item: Michelle Malkin exposed the asshats for who and what they are.
Item: Said pussies and their fellow Cowardcrats showed the tolerance for which they’re soooooo well known towards Michelle.
Oh, no worries. Even if they ever were to post Michelle’s address, she should fear not. How many years have I been calling these people chickenshits? And given out my address to back it up? But no – these limp-wristed fucktards would rather hide behind their cell-phone cameras and make movies about playing around with their inflatable dolls than actually come back their shit up.
Relax, Michelle. As I’ve said time & time again, they don’t have the balls.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:56
With the onset of baseball season (hibernation season if you’re a football-loving King & Tyrant), it’s time to pull out a blast from the past. And since it was a One-Legged Man Day, now’s as good of a time as any.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:06
Sigh. Looks like ol’ Swimmer Boy’s been drinking again.
Massachusetts Sen. Ted Kennedy says the conventional wisdom that America has turned conservative in recent years is just plain wrong
…but not for the reasons he thinks.
Problem is, O Drunken One, the country hasn’t turned conservative because it already is conservative.
Sure you came up for air immediately after dunking Mary Jo?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 12:13
The Quote of the Day comes from LC New Mexican, who has this tagline over at the Famous Idiot site:
Deep down, Muslims are good people too…Six feet, to be exact.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:31
As most of you LCs (and the Denizens too, if you’ve ever bothered to read the Rott) have figured out by now, Emperor Misha & I pretty much see eye-to-eye on a lot of stuff.
But there are a few things where we’re not quite on the same page (not that that’s a bad thing). One area is the high gas prices, and the reasons for same.
(NOTE: The Drudge headline had reported $400 million – no idea why.)
Misha, as is his wont and absolute right, vented about it.
It’s good to know that somebody at least are getting to enjoy the benefits of gouging gas prices because, heaven knows, $170 million isn’t hardly anything when you have to pay for all and sundry and it’s not like he hasn’t put in the years of hard work for it. G-d only knows how many falafels the poor man has had to share with oil ticks over the years.
Thankfully, Exxon won’t be going bankrupt because of this golden parachute, considering how they made about $36 billion last year profiteering off of the fact that we’re at war, so it’s not like they can’t afford it.
Hm. Let’s take a moment and examine.
True, ExxonMobil made $36 billion in profits last year. Quite the haul for the Irving-based oil conglomerate.
Until you see what they made it off of: $360 billion in sales & other operating income (page 4, requires Acrobat reader).
10 cents on the dollar, while good & healthy, is not excessive. I sell a paper for a buck, I keep 10 cents. That’s all Exxon’s doing.
It’s not ExxonMobil that’s determining high oil prices. It’s OPEC
(and to a good extent, Venezuela as well). All ExxonMobil (and ChevronTexaco, and Valero, and BP, and Shell, and Standard, and Citgo, et. al.) are doing is paying the price that’s been set.
(There are other factors, too, such as too few refineries in the United States; Demoscum who won’t let us drill in ANWR, Kalifornication or Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator’s backyard and China’s increased demand for the stuff – but those are other topics for other posts.)
Now maybe Raymond’s retirement package is a little high, whether it be $400 million or some lower figure. There are two groups of folks watching ExxonMobil: their shareholders, and the SEC. If ExxonMobil is doing anything that’s not kosher, I anticipate it’ll get discovered pretty quickly. The days of Enron-style cooking the books are pretty much over, I’d think.
UPDATE: Denizen and LC Humble Devildog informs us that Venezuela is actually a part of OPEC.
S’pose I should’ve known that, but didn’t for whatever reason.