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As we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™, Denizens, we note for the record that the Dallas Cowboys have finally come to their senses and released Michael Sam from the practice squad in favor of linebacker Troy Davis and defensive tackle Ken Bishop (both of whom were in Dallas’ training camp).

This creates something a dilemma in the Realm™.

Remember back here, when I said:

So that’s it. I’m done with Dallas – for good, this time. The Cowgirlz now become a PFW “Anti-Team” – meaning they’re now this scribe’s least-favorite team, more disliked than even the Warshington Foreskins or the San Transexual Fairy Whiners.

Honestly, what’s a King & Tyrant™ to do?  They’re playing well, and Cincy…well…isn’t.  And I’ve pretty much always followed them, whereas I’m only following Cincinnati because of Andy Dalton.

Decisions, decisions.

Okay, on with the football.  This is the acid test for Phil Young & my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.  They have the South Hills Scorpions tonight, and SHHS is every bit as good (if not better) as the Jackets.

As much as I hate to say it, I think the Scorps are gonna win…and Great Honkin’ Cthulhu™, I hope I’m wrong.

Saturday, Gary Patterson’s 10th-ranked TCU Horned Frogs are at home against perennial pest Texas Tech.

This is sort of a rivalry game in the Realm™, as the wife of Supreme General Rayegun (hereinafter referenced as the Generalette) is a Tech grad; thus, the Southern Command has a vested interest in the game.

OZY McCOOL:  Shall I get to work on the shields, in case the General decides to bring the Black Helicopter Fleet™ and take TCU’s inevitable victory out on us?

VENOMOUS:  Probably, and make sure the pulse disruptor is in good repair, as well.

(Sorry, General.  But TCU’s flying high, and you guys barely beat Rock Chalk last week.  Besides, Vegas has the Frogs as a 23-point favorite.)

Sunday, Cincinnati will try to score a point.

Don’t laugh.  They have Baltimore at home, and even though the Unconvicted Criminal™, Ray Lewis, no longer plays for them, their defense is still most stout.  And Vegas has the Ravens as a 1-point road favorite.

And after what Indy did to them last week, there’s a raised eyebrow pointed towards Cincy’s offensive coordinator.

Sigh.

For my wildcard games, we’re going with Rutgers visiting #16 Nebraska (the Scarlet Knights have basically stunk up their first year in the B1G), BigamY U (that’s Brigham Young for those of you in the Church of the SubTarded™) traveling to that ugly-assed blue field to take on Smurf-Turf State (things aren’t quite as easy with out Chrissy “Trick Play” Peterson on the sidelines) tonight, the T-Sip Shortdicks TU Longhorns up in Lawrence to take on #11 Kansas State (the Wildcates bore everybody to a win) – and in a bonus game, the Dallas Cowboys to steamroll the Warshington Foreskins REDSKINS, DAMMIT!!!!! at home…

UPDATE:  …on Monday night.

I will make an effort to get you the recap on Monday Tuesday. In the meantime, my question for the Vicar is…Southern Miss, a 9½-point home dogg to Louisiana Tech?!?!?!

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Denizens, we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™…by giving one mammoth “ATTABOY!!!!!”  to the Cincinnati Bengals.

The Cincinnati Bengals appeared to have moved on from former second-round defensive tackle Devon Still when they cut him this preseason. Still, 25, certainly has looked like a bust to this point in his career, and his preseason play was not an indication he had come around.

However, Sitll has had much better things on his mind than football. His 4-year-old daughter, Leah, was diagnosed with stage 4 pediatric cancer back in June.

So when training camp came around, Still lost some desire to play. The Bengals had no choice but to cut him.

I can understand this.  If my son had an illness like that, fixing computers would take a backseat.

But I also see Cincy’s point of view on this.  If you’re gonna play in the NFL, there’s a commitment level there that you must  maintain.  Any less, and you’re not only cheating the team & the ownership, you’re cheating the fans who come to see you.

Cue the happy ending.

But there’s a silver lining to this story. The Bengals re-signed him to their practice squad, and the $6,300 weekly salary and medical insurance will go a long way to help Leah. Still is eminently grateful for the team’s gesture when he knows they simply could have made what NFL teams like to call “business decisions.”

“They could have washed their hands with me and said they didn’t care about what I was going through off the field,” Still said. “It’s like a blessing in disguise for me.”

As a member of the practice squad, Still will practice with the team but not travel. That means he has more time to spend by Leah’s side. Blessing in disguise indeed.

Prayers Leah’s way.

And because of this selfless act by the Bengals…not to mention the fact that they still have Andy Dalton…Cincinnati is being added to the PFW.

They are taking the place of the Dallas Cowgirlz…who (in case you didn’t see the news from the Vicar) signed Widdle Mikey “I Kissed A Man On National TV And I Liked It” Sam to the practice squad.

“It was a little longer than I expected,” said Sam, who is trying to become the first openly gay player to participate in an NFL regular-season game. “But you know what, I’m here now, and that’s all that matters.”

So that’s it.  I’m done with Dallas – for good, this time.  The Cowgirlz now become a PFW “Anti-Team” – meaning they’re now this scribe’s least-favorite team, more disliked than even the Warshington Foreskins or the San Transexual Fairy Whiners.

Which, speaking of them and getting on to the actual football around these parts, is coming to the Death Star Sunday to play the Cowgirls.  We’ll make this a wildcard game and pick the Whiners to win.

Cincy, meanwhile, travels to Baltimore to take on Flacco & the Ravens.  Balt’s defense isn’t what it used to be, not even with Elvis Dumberass Dumervil toiling for them, so I like the Bengals here.

Friday, Phil Young & my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are in Princeton, TX, to take on the Panthers in their season opener.  Princeton isn’t bad, and I expect Heights to have its hands full.

TCU is off this week, so for wildcard games we’ll go with Florida Atlantic visiting #2 Alabama, McNeese State headed to Lincoln to get squashed by #19 Nebraska, and #20 Kansas State to go up to Ames to smack around Iowa State.  (This is gonna be a long year for the Cyclones – if they can’t beat Division II N. Dakota State at home, who are  they gonna beat this year? (And no, smart asses – it ain’t gonna be TCU, so don’t even  go there.))

We’ll come back Monday or so with the recap.  In the meantime, my Vicar is cordially invited to write anything about any Mississippi team he chooses…

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Denizens, for this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend, we’ll point out that, while Widdle Mikey Sam may be the first limp-wristed douchebag to kiss his fellow butt-buddy on ESPN for all the fucking world to see – he is not  the first faggot in the NFL.

One of those who preceded him, in fact, just shook down the Minne-haha ViQueens for a wad of dough.

Calling his settlement with the Minnesota Vikings an opportunity “to do a lot of good for a lot of people,” Chris Kluwe announced his fight with the team is over.

The Vikings and Kluwe’s attorney Clayton Halunen announced Tuesday morning that they had reached a settlement to resolve the former punter’s allegations of homophobic behavior by the team. It put the issue to rest 7½ months after Kluwe first published his allegations and avoids the prospect of a lengthy legal battle.

The Vikings had initially announced a $100,000 contribution to charities that support lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender causes, and they will make additional contributions to five LGBT-friendly charities over the next five years. The team will also enhance sensitivity training that is already required throughout the organization.

The parties did not announce the financial terms of the settlement, but Kluwe said he will not receive any money.

Raise your hand if you believe that.

(crickets)

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

The turd claims he was discriminated against & cut because he’s a faggot.  I tend to think it’s because he’s a shitty football player.

But that’s just me.

Tonight, we’ve got the Cowgirlz in the South Beach swamp to play the Dolphins.  If they continue to improve as they did last week, I expect a victory tonight.  Particularly since the Fins still aren’t all that good.  But we’ll see.

I may also have an opinion on some other matchups this weekend, such as Panther-Patriot, Jet-Douchebag and/or REDSKIN!!!!!!-Raven.

That recap will be either Monday or Tuesday.  See you then.

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Katy Perry’s Firework  really does  sound like fingernails on chalkboard.

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Item:  George H.W. Bush witnessed – and apparently approved – a lezbo wedding.

Former President George H.W. Bush was an official witness at the same-sex wedding of two longtime friends, his spokesman said Wednesday.

Bush and his wife, Barbara Bush, attended the ceremony joining Bonnie Clement and Helen Thorgalsen as private citizens and friends on Saturday, spokesman Jim McGrath said.

Thorgalsen posted a photo on her Facebook page showing Bush signing the marriage license as a witness. She captioned the photo: “Getting our marriage license witnessed!”

Reaction:  I’m now officially sorry I ever voted for George H.W. Bush.

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…to get what they can’t get any other way.

Oh, no…all they wanted was “equality”.

They were never  going to force gay marriage on us, NoSirreeBob™.

Well…not until now, anyway.

Millionaire gay couple the Drewitt-Barlows have confirmed they have launched a legal challenge to the right of churches to opt out of gay weddings.

In fresh comments published by the Chelmsford Weekly News in the U.K. today, Barrie Drewitt-Barlow said legal action had started.

“We’ve launched a challenge to the government’s decision to allow some religious groups to opt out of marrying same-sex couples,” he said.

“We feel we have the right as parishioners in our village to utilize the church we attend to get married.

Whether that church wants to or not (although, to hear these faggots tell it, this one does.  (And yes – I called them faggots.  Don’t like it?  Come fucking do  something about it.))

They don’t want equal rights.  It’s never  been about equal rights.  The heterophobes have the same rights as do you & I.

What they  want are special privileges.  They want to force us to accept their hallowed practice of getting their rocks off by sticking their dicks in each other’s asses, and they want us to say it’s morally – and legally – okay.

And as I have said time, and time, and time again – as long as I have breath, there will be at least one soul on Planet Earth that says to them, “Go to Hell”.

Now, this is the UK, so we don’t have to worry about it yet, though we in the Realm™ continue to grieve the collapse of British society.

But woe be to the bastards who try it over here.  You won’t like what happens.

Bank on that.

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Y’know, Denizens, I would  tell the Fag Scouts of Amerika what they can do with themselves – that they can kiss my lily-white cracker ass & come suck my dick.

But I have the distinct feeling that that…is what those effeminate, sitzpinkling pussies that remain would like  to do.

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Oh, dear.  They’re getting downright un-comity-like over at Gay Patriot again.

Look, I know that life is not easy. And we each face our own challenges. Sometimes in the face of frustration as we struggle with setbacks, we need, well, we feel that we need to vent. A lot of people seem to do that in the political sphere, projecting their personal demons onto their ideological adversaries.

And since we don’t usually see those adversaries’ faces, we don’t always appreciate their humanity. If if we disagree with someone else’s politics, even if he (or she) makes (what we perceive to be) a lame argument, he remains a human being, facings challenges and suffering setbacks just as we do. Bear that in mind each time you read a comment you find outrageous.

Critique what that person said. Don’t speculate about his private life.

Oh, really?  But…but…but I thought your private  lives were all that defined you.  That, and making sure we all  knew everything  about you and how you liked to get your rocks off.

I mean, what’s the point of being a bunch of flaming heterophobes if you can’t be fucking PUBLIC  about it, hm???

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Ever notice that the heterophobic assholes who are doing their damndest to shove homosexual marriage down our throats…were (and are) the same bigoted anti-Christian bastards who squeam about us attempting to “impose our morals” on everyone else?

(Yeah, I know it’s stating the obvious.  I’m just sayin’.)

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And as if you didn’t have enough evidence that the GOP has lost its spine (not to mention its will & its way), here comes the RNC’s own Chief Sniveling Weasel, Prancy Reince-e Priebus, saying that Rob “I Wuv Gayz Now” Portman won’t face any ramifications from suddenly deciding to throw his principles out the window:

Via NRO, he’s careful not to endorse gay marriage himself but he sure does seem chipper at the beginning about the “inroads” Portman’s allegedly made with gay voters.

And this spineless pussy Priebus wrings his hands in severe angst as the base abandons him, and wonders why Republicans don’t win anymore.

Four million GOP voters stayed home last November. And they stayed home because they’re tired of the direction in which the GOP is going.

They’re tired of having RINOs masquerading as presidential candidates forced upon them.

They’re tired of the Republican leadership caving in to the Demoscum.

They’re tired of cowering in fear of a media who might definitely will portray them in the worst light possible.

And they’re tired of politicians like Widdle Wobbly Portman not standing up for what’s right, even when their family members fail to live up to the standard.

I tell you now, when the GOP decides to man up and grow a backbone, they’ll start kicking Demoscum ass again.  Every election.  Every time.

But until then, the Republicans can continue to wring their hands in angst & wonder.

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Denizens, remember Rob “Hey, I Was A Candidate Too!” Portman?  No-name Congresscritter Senator from Oiho (a little Bambi lingo, there) who ran (snicker) for the GOP nomination for President last year?

Y’know, big-time conservative, gonna save the party, all that mush?  Especially being touted as the “pro-life, pro-family” candidate?

Yeah, that one.

Well, his son just came outta the closet and announced he’s a faggot – yeah, that’s right, I said it, do something about it if you don’t like it – and, lo & behold, whaddya know, li’l Robbie ain’t so pro-family anymore, don’tcha know?

Portman voted for the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, but he now thinks the Supreme Court, which is hearing a challenge to the law this year, should strike it down.

And how does he explain his “growing” (to use a term of the leftists)?

I wrestled with how to reconcile my Christian faith with my desire for Will to have the same opportunities to pursue happiness and fulfillment as his brother and sister. Ultimately, it came down to the Bible’s overarching themes of love and compassion and my belief that we are all children of God. […]

Translation:  The chickenshit is more concerned with how men view him than he is with how God views him.

British Prime Minister David Cameron has said he supports allowing gay couples to marry because he is a conservative, not in spite of it. I feel the same way. We conservatives believe in personal liberty and minimal government interference in people’s lives. We also consider the family unit to be the fundamental building block of society. We should encourage people to make long-term commitments to each other and build families, so as to foster strong, stable communities and promote personal responsibility.

In other words, Denizens, we should continue to encourage all heterophobes to go on fucking each other in the ass, and calling it “family”.  Because, shut up, homophobe!

This son-of-a-bitch always did have a stench about him during the campaign, and now we know why.  He’s a limp-wristed, namby-pamby nancy-boy who doesn’t have a clue what conservatism means, much, much  less Christianity, whose principles are determined by sticking a finger up in the wind.  The jackwagon doesn’t have a fucking clue about standing up for principle, or for what’s right.

And he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to his faggot son and tell him he’s wrong.  And that’s the most shameful thing of all.

The young-skull-full-o’-shit has shamed both  his excuses-for-parents, and they don’t have the sense God gave a flea enough to realize it.

And the GOP wonders why they’re losing elections.

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My respect for Jim Nabors just went to negative-infinity.

The actor best known for playing the TV character Gomer Pyle in the 1960s has married his male partner of 38 years.

Hawaii News Now (http://bit.ly/14tFM3U) reports Jim Nabors and his partner, Stan Cadwallader, traveled from their Honolulu home to Seattle to be married Jan. 15.

And before you ask – no, I didn’t  know.

So the traditional icons are falling, one by one.  First the Boy Scouts, now Gomer Pyle.

God’s judgment on this nation can’t come soon enough.

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The Boy Scouts, apparently, are considering suicide.

The Boy Scouts of America is considering an end to its longstanding policy of banning gay Scouts and Scout leaders, the organization said on Monday.

The new policy would eliminate the ban on gays from the organization’s national rules, allowing local chapters to decide for themselves.

“The BSA is discussing potentially removing the national membership restriction regarding sexual orientation,” Deron Smith, a spokesman for the Boy Scouts of America, wrote in an email to Yahoo News. “This would mean there would no longer be any national policy regarding sexual orientation, but that the chartered organizations that oversee and deliver Scouting would accept membership and select leaders consistent with their organization’s mission, principles or religious beliefs.”

How about the Church Of The Shrinking Organization™?

Alas, poor BSA.  We hardly knew ye.

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Damn.  Fuck.  Shit.  (And if the Vicar weren’t here, I’d say a helluva lot more than that.)

Chick-Fil-A just caved.

Chick-fil-A will no longer donate money to anti-gay groups or discuss hot-button political issues after an executive’s controversial comments this summer landed the fast-food chain in the middle of the gay marriage debate.

Executives agreed in recent meetings to stop funding groups opposed to same-sex unions, including Focus on the Family and the National Organization for Marriage, according to Chicago Alderman Proco Joe Moreno.

[...]

The agreement, announced Wednesday, could pave the way for the company to continue to grow not only in Chicago but in other metropolitan areas as well.

They won’t be doing so with any more of my  money.  Guaran-damn-fucking-teed.

Denizens, if you’ve read me for any  length of time, you’re perfectly aware of what I think about people (primarily Christians and/or conservatives) who take a stand for right in public, then back down from and/or apologize for said stand.

To me, it’s simple:  Do right, and fear no man.  Stand up for what you know to be the truth, and to Hell – literally – with those assclowns who would whine about it from behind the comfort & safety of their collective daddy’s pink taffeta hoop skirt.

And now, Chick-Fil-A has caved to a faggot-assed, heterophobic son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch Shit-cago alderman named Joe “Josephine” Moreno.  (Whom, if you ask me, should have a spiked titanium clue bad shoved right up his swishy ass.  On second thought, don’t – he might actually like  it.)

You’ve lost my business, Chick-Fil-A.  And my family’s.  And you’ve lost it permanently.

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(Hat tip:  Hoft, as usual.)

And at the other extreme (i.e. the heterophobic pro-sodomite militant leftards) comes this video.

I’m putting it below the fold to give you time to put down all throwables/breakables/shootables, etc.  I guaran-damn-tee you that you’ll have your own personal RCOB™ going within fifteen seconds, and by the end will be wanting to print out a picture of this bastard to take to the range with you.

So here we go.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you:

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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