Posted by Darth Venomous @ 9:28
(Hat tip: Daily Caller.)
Here’s another Booker T-type “She didn’t say that. Tell me she didn’t just say that” moments.
After lamenting about how Russell Brand asked her for a divorce via text message, Katy Perry had this to say about current shack-up partner/fucktoy John Mayer:
“All I can say about that relationship is that he’s got a beautiful mind,” she says of the man responsible for “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” “Beautiful mind, tortured soul. I do have to figure out why I am attracted to these broken birds.”
Well, Katy, maybe it has to do with you being a brain-dead, liberal skank, y’think?
Glad I could help.
Five cents, please.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 9:30
Okay, so while prepping to go out Saturday, Mrs. Venomous & I are catching Police Academy on Comedy Central.
And they’re at the scene where Chief is doing the burglar coming out of the house exercise, and it’s Tackleberry’s turn.
And, as Cthulhu is my witness, this is what I hear coming out of the tube:
“DROP THE STEREO YOU G*****N ASS(silence)…”
Now, this I don’t get.
They let “GD” pass, but bleeped the “hole” part of “asshole”?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:45
Why, yes. Yes, I do.
You forget, Kimmieslut – you had Avoirdupois Ass loooooong before you found yerself preggers.
Next shit-for-brains question?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 22:39
Yes, Denizens, I know – this is a shocka that could rise to the level of coronary induction. But according to the publicist, it’s all abso-effin’-lutely true. Pinky-finger-swear.
Are you sitting down? Because we are about to unleash some information on you that is all but impossible to believe: Kim Kardashian staged her now-failed marriage to Kris Humphries, according to her former publicist. “She knew weeks before getting married she didn’t want to do it,” said Jonathan Jaxson, who worked with the reality star from 2007 to 2009, on the Elvis Duran Morning Show. “She’s never gotten over [ex Reggie Bush].” Jaxson claimed to have worked with Kardashian on similar stunts throughout their partnership in a bid to get her press, the New York Post reports.
“I staged several of the moments that the world has seen of her, such as a ring that we alleged was from Reggie Bush,” he said. “It was calculated to a T and then it was leaked to a magazine.”
Well, dip me in Angorgonzolic cheese and call me the Riker Maneuver. Shocked, shocked I am to hear of this!!!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 11:30
…and, bah Gawd (a little Jim Ross lingo, there), don’tcha think it oughta be…?
To top off what has probably been the shittiest year in world history…now comes the worst news yet.
The Skank & the Pussy* are gonna have a bastard.
Get ready for yet another Kardashian to keep up with! On Sunday night, Kanye West “announced” that he and Kim Kardashian are expecting a child together when he told the crowd at his Atlantic City concert to “Stop the music and make some noise for my baby mama,” according to a fan on Twitter who was at the show, and then reportedly pointed to his girlfriend in the audience.
Although Kim – who is still married to her husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries – has yet to say anything to her nearly 17 million fans on Twitter, her rep did confirm that the reality star is pregnant. This will be the first child for both Kim, 32, and West, 35, who began dating in the spring of 2012.
Oh, how abso-fucking-lutely lovely.
One thing’s for damned sure: If Antichrist wasn’t already here…he is now.
*I’ll let you figure out which is which. They’re fairly interchangeable, y’know.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 6:30
So now you’ve got a bunch of celebrities – and, well, okay, Widdle Bitchie Eisen too – sniveling about Newtown, and about how enough is enough.
So why is what they’re doing here okay…?
I mean, if they’re such terrified-by-guns dickweeds, should they really be enjoying all the bangie thingies they’re…um…utilizing…as they ply their craft?
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Hm. Maybe these celebretards should go fuck themselves, y’know?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 18:43
Item: Actor Angus T. Jones, the “half” in See-BS’ Two And A Half Men, finally woke up the other day, smelled the coffee and blasted his own show, calling it “filth”
“Jake from ‘Two and a Half Men’ means nothing. He is a nonexistent character … ,” Jones said, starting about halfway through the video above. “If you watch ‘Two and a Half Men,’ please stop watching ‘Two and a Half Men.’ I’m on ‘Two and a Half Men,’ and I don’t want to be on it.
“Please stop watching it; stop filling your head with filth. Please. People say it’s just entertainment. … Do some research on the effects of television and your brain, and I promise you you’ll have a decision to make when it comes to television, and especially with what you watch.”
Good on ‘im…right?
Well, hold the phone.
Item: Yesterday, Angus went back to sleep.
In a statement issued late Tuesday, Jones said he had the highest regard for all of the people he has worked with on the comedy, including creator Chuck Lorre and Warner Bros. studio chief Peter Roth.
“I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed,” said Jones, who reportedly makes $350,000 an episode. “I never intended that.”
Fucking. Assed. Coward.
This is one of my pet peeves, Denizens, as you yourselves well know. If you’re going to say something, if you’re going to take a stand, be ready to catch the slings & arrows that are most certainly going to come your way. Don’t worry about losing your Hollyweird gig, don’t worry about being blacklisted by a bunch of perverted pissweasels, and for the sake of Cthulhu’s left nut, don’t worry that they might not like you anymore.
And for God’s sake, DON’T FUCKING BACK DOWN FROM WHAT YOU SAY if you’re going to say it! Otherwise, STFU if you don’t have the spine for it!
Damn, people like Angus Jones piss me off!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 22:37
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 7:01
Barr Arnold Barr The Fat-Ass Broad is at it again:
no more all male priestclass will b allowed tax credits4 imposing suffering& punishment onto women or abuse victims. #yeaimgoingthere
1 Jul 12
This from Ms. Avoirdupois Ass, the same skanky bitch who kept grabbing her crotch whilst screeching the National Anthem.
If that ain’t abuse, I’m not sure I’d wanna know what would qualify.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 11:03
And Denizens, in this thread here, wherein Don Rickles is at a Shirley MacLaine roast and makes an allegedly “RAAAAACIST” comment (gotta get those five As in there y’know) about the Ayatollah, a comment demonstrating the average IQ of the Demoscum can be found:
oh is it diffrent when mentally-ill repubs go on shows you HYPOCRITES bush perry michele baucman oh mitt romney did 10 best things on letterman stupid bush pretended to be a war pilot on a ship lying again mission accomplished 10yrs later the mission still is a mission retarded republican with selective memory you forgot lura bush on show too.. let me run along you mutts are really a waste of reality time i’ll leave ya in koo koo for coca puffs land go play with froot loop bird
Ladies & Gentlemen…your average Demoscum.
Pathetic, ain’t it?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 18:58
Actually, I can’t really take credit for this WITY – but I’ll be happy to credit blogger Billy Johnson, Jr, whom I quoted here:
While the cause of death has not yet been revealed, one can only wonder whether it was drug-related.
The results of the autopsy were released today. Annnnnnnd…bingo.
Whitney Houston was a chronic cocaine user who had the drug in her system when she drowned in a hotel bathtub, coroner’s officials said Thursday after releasing autopsy findings that also noted heart disease contributed to her death.
The disclosure ended weeks of speculation about what killed the Grammy-winning singer on Feb. 11 on the eve of the Grammy Awards.
Coroner’s Chief of Operations Craig Harvey said cocaine and its byproducts were found in Houston’s system, and the drug was listed as a contributing factor in her death. He said the results indicated Houston was a chronic cocaine user.
Okay, that’s the WITY for Mr. Johnson. Here’s my WITY.
Toxicology results also showed Houston had marijuana, Xanax, the muscle relaxant Flexeril, and the allergy medication Benadryl in her system. Houston died just hours before she was scheduled to appear at producer Clive Davis’ pre-Grammy Awards bash.
What? Did? I? Tell Ya???
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 11:08
Y’know, I was going to try and offer a short eulogy/tribute to Whitney Houston – who, as I’m sure you guys are all aware by now, died yesterday at the age of 48…
…but then I read this from Yahoo! music blogger Billy Johnson, Jr.
Too many of us—myself included—are guilty of making insensitive jokes about the demise of Whitney Houston, her frail frame, loss of one of pop’s purest voices, and battle with drugs.
But none of us are laughing now.
Houston’s fans were concerned when she married R&B bad boy Bobby Brown in 1992, but they professed their happiness.
By the late 1990s, Houston’s drug problems began to become tabloid fodder. In a 2002 interview with ABC’s Diane Sawyer, Houston admitted to her struggles, but maintained that she was doing fine.
The public received its first real glimpse of Houston behind-the-scenes in 2004 when she appeared on Brown’s reality series “Being Bobby Brown.” The bad publicity move depicted Houston as profane, combative, and delusional, seemingly supporting the behavior of someone on drugs.
Among the saddest indications of Houston’s fall was her 2009 comeback album, “I Look To You.” While the album received positive reviews, her live performances signaled that the damage to her voice was beyond repair.
Concertgoers stormed out of her 2010 “Nothing But Love World Tour” angry, complaining that Houston was not fit to sing live, and they demanded that their ticket costs be refunded.
On stage, Houston made light of her vocal struggles, and even seemed to be confident when doing so.
But the public scrutiny intensified, and was followed by additional stints in rehab.
While the cause of death has not yet been revealed, one can only wonder whether it was drug-related.
I think that, of this, there can be little doubt.
People like me have been shouting loud & long from the rooftops about the dangers of illegal drug use, from marijuana right on up the scale (pun not really intended, but it fits here, doesn’t it?). For our efforts, we’re pooh-poohed, laughed at, ostracized, sniffed at, dismissed and just generally treated like pond scum by the so-called “enlightened” among elitist shits who think that there’s no harm in “just a little recreational drug use”. Just a li’l toak ever’ now-and-then, cain’t be allllll that bad, now can it?
Whitney Houston very likely started with marijuana. You tell me.
Rest in peace, Whitney.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 18:16
At Souper Salad this evening (try their red beans & rice sometime; it’s killer), I hear the Ditzy Bints’ Not Ready To Make Nice come over the speakers. And the chorus:
Well, I’m not ready to make nice
Not ready to back down
Etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.
If memory serves, this was in response to how Toby Keith just abso-freakin’-lutely pwned them after they didn’t have the stones to bash President Bush here, but had to go overseas to spew their “Just so you know…” line.
And I’m thinking something along the lines of, O RLY, Natalie? Not ready to admit you & your fellow bimbettes took One Royal Hell of an ass-whipping, huh?
And just where are they now?
And where is Toby Keith?
I rest my case. Game, set & friggin’ match
Suck it, Natalie.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 19:30
Denizens, remember last year when I lamented what it appeared one Destiny Hope “Miley” Cyrus was turning into?
Shame, Miley. Given who your dad is, we out here were hoping you’d spare us a modicum of angst by not becoming a clone of Britney Spears. That you might grow up to be someone we’d want our daughters to emulate – someone wholesome, upright, even pure (relatively speaking, anyway).
Guess we can’t have everything we want in life, huh?
Miley Cyrus is a “pothead” and apparently she doesn’t care who knows it.
At least that was the “party line” at her private 19th birthday bash last week at the Roosevelt Hotel Beacher’s Madhouse Club in Los Angeles. In a video obtained exclusively by Flash, when Kelly Osbourne presents a cake to Cyrus emblazoned with the face of a ganja icon, the former “Hannah Montana” star cracks, “You know you’re a stoner when friends make you a Bob Marley cake — you know you smoke way too much f***in’ weed.”
Of late, it seems the former child star has gone to great lengths to distance herself from a clean pop image, including hosting “Saturday Night Live” this year and dissing Disney child actors. Can another “SNL” sketch with dead-on Cyrus impersonator Vanessa Bayer be in the works?
Can a prison career a la Lindsey “My Breasts Have Been a Big Hit” Lohan be far behind?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 11:49
On a rerun of the program Gene Simmons Family Jewels, I have just overheard Gene saying he was responsible for developing the careers of the group Pet Shop Boys.
Reaction: Oh, shit – you mean it’s all his fault?