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Katy Perry’s Firework&#160 really does&#160 sound like fingernails on chalkboard.

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At the Video Music Awards a couple days ago, Miley Cyrus…well, let’s just say she took a page from the Britney Spears playbook and oops, she did it again:

Just when people began to relax after Gaga’s not-so-weird performance, the real sucker punch of the night came: when the girl who was still a practically a Disney princess while Gaga was rocking a meat dress – Miley Cyrus hit the stage.

Cyrus stepped up and assumed the throne for the strangest, most provocative performer at this year’s VMAs, fitting nicely into the crown for Queen of Obscene, funny hair horns and all.

The singer emerged in a furry gray leotard with the face of a seemingly-intoxicated teddy bear to perform her single “We Can’t Stop.” Following the theme of her music video, she was backed up by a gaggle of dancers with the giant teddy bear backpacks, folks in teddy bear suits, and the World’s Tallest Burlesque Dancer, Amazon Ashley, who stands at 6’7”.

Living up to her reputation for shamelessly working it, she didn’t disappoint as she playfully bounced, popped and thrust through the song that had viewers in a trance.

Once Robin Thicke came out to perform what is probably the song of summer ’13, “Blurred Lines,” Cyrus shed the fun fur to reveal a very Gaga-esque nude vinyl bikini, not much unlike the latex getup Gaga wore at the 2011 Grammys. And she just kept twerking like she copyrighted the move.

At this point, I have to wonder if Billy Ray ever gave her the ass-whipping she likely deserved while growing up.

Doesn’t seem like it, y’know?

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While watching Entertainment Tonight (it was on after local news here following the Cowboy game), I’m told that Katy Perry was “surprised” that the stalkerazi papperazi began following her circa 2008.

Response:&#160 This is news?

Katy, honeybunch – you’re a limp-wrist-supporting bimbo airhead with larger-than-normal tits – tits that you like to flash portions of at every opportunity.

Why wouldn’t&#160 the Lame-Assed Mediots follow you?

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(Hat tip:&#160 Daily Caller.)

Here’s another one of those Booker T-type “She didn’t say that.&#160 Tell me she didn’t just say that” moments.

After lamenting about how Russell Brand asked her for a divorce via text message, Katy Perry had this to say about current shack-up partner/fucktoy John Mayer:

“All I can say about that relationship is that he’s got a beautiful mind,” she says of the man responsible for “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” “Beautiful mind, tortured soul. I do have to figure out why I am attracted to these broken birds.”

Hmmm.

Well, Katherine, m’dear, maybe…just maybe… it has a little something to do with you being a brain-dead, liberal, eyes-grow-wide-and-bustier-drops-at-the-first-sign-of-a-cock skank, y’think?

Glad I could help.

Five cents, please.&#160

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Okay, so while prepping to go out Saturday, Mrs. Venomous & I are catching Police Academy&#160 on Comedy Central.

And they’re at the scene where Chief is doing the burglar coming out of the house exercise, and it’s Tackleberry’s turn.

And, as Cthulhu is my witness, this is what I hear coming out of the tube:

“DROP THE STEREO YOU G*****N ASS(silence)…”

Now, this I don’t get.

They let “GD” pass, but bleeped the “hole” part of “asshole”?

(sigh)

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Why, yes.&#160 Yes, I do.

You forget, Kimmieslut – you had Avoirdupois Ass&#153 loooooong&#160 before you found yerself preggers.

Next shit-for-brains question?

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Yes, Denizens, I know – this is a shocka&#160 that could rise to the level of coronary induction. But according to the publicist, it’s all abso-effin’-lutely true.&#160 Pinky-finger-swear.

Are you sitting down? Because we are about to unleash some information on you that is all but impossible to believe: Kim Kardashian staged her now-failed marriage to Kris Humphries, according to her former publicist. “She knew weeks before getting married she didn’t want to do it,” said Jonathan Jaxson, who worked with the reality star from 2007 to 2009, on the Elvis Duran Morning Show. “She’s never gotten over [ex Reggie Bush].” Jaxson claimed to have worked with Kardashian on similar stunts throughout their partnership in a bid to get her press, the New York Post reports.

“I staged several of the moments that the world has seen of her, such as a ring that we alleged was from Reggie Bush,” he said. “It was calculated to a T and then it was leaked to a magazine.”

Well, dip me in Angorgonzolic cheese and call me the Riker Maneuver. Shocked, shocked&#160 I am to hear of this!!!

Yawn.&#160

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…and, bah Gawd (a little Jim Ross lingo, there), don’tcha think it oughta be…?

To top off what has probably been the shittiest year in world history…now comes the worst news yet.

The Skank & the Pussy* are gonna have a bastard.

Get ready for yet another Kardashian to keep up with! On Sunday night, Kanye West “announced” that he and Kim Kardashian are expecting a child together when he told the crowd at his Atlantic City concert to “Stop the music and make some noise for my baby mama,” according to a fan on Twitter who was at the show, and then reportedly pointed to his girlfriend in the audience.

Although Kim – who is still married to her husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries – has yet to say anything to her nearly 17 million fans on Twitter, her rep did confirm that the reality star is pregnant. This will be the first child for both Kim, 32, and West, 35, who began dating in the spring of 2012.

Oh, how abso-fucking-lutely lovely.

One thing’s for damned sure:&#160 If Antichrist wasn’t already here…he is now.&#160

*I’ll let you figure out which is which.&#160 They’re fairly interchangeable, y’know.

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So now you’ve got a bunch of celebrities – and, well, okay, Widdle Bitchie Eisen too – sniveling about Newtown, and about how enough is enough.

So why is what they’re doing here okay…?

I mean, if they’re such terrified-by-guns dickweeds, should they really be enjoying all the bangie thingies they’re…um…utilizing…as they ply their craft?

Anyone?&#160 Anyone?&#160 Bueller?

Hm.&#160 Maybe these celebretards should&#160 go fuck themselves, y’know?

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Item:&#160 Actor Angus T. Jones, the “half” in See-BS’ Two And A Half Men, finally woke up the other day, smelled the coffee and blasted his own show, calling it “filth”

“Jake from ‘Two and a Half Men’ means nothing. He is a nonexistent character … ,” Jones said, starting about halfway through the video above. “If you watch ‘Two and a Half Men,’ please stop watching ‘Two and a Half Men.’ I’m on ‘Two and a Half Men,’ and I don’t want to be on it.

“Please stop watching it; stop filling your head with filth. Please. People say it’s just entertainment. … Do some research on the effects of television and your brain, and I promise you you’ll have a decision to make when it comes to television, and especially with what you watch.”

Good on ‘im…right?

Well, hold the phone.

Item:&#160 Yesterday, Angus went back to sleep.

In a statement issued late Tuesday, Jones said he had the highest regard for all of the people he has worked with on the comedy, including creator Chuck Lorre and Warner Bros. studio chief Peter Roth.

“I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed,” said Jones, who reportedly makes $350,000 an episode. “I never intended that.”

Fucking.&#160 Assed.&#160 Coward.

This is one of my pet peeves, Denizens, as you yourselves well know.&#160 If you’re going to say something, if you’re going to take a stand, be ready to catch the slings & arrows that are most certainly going to come your way.&#160 Don’t worry about losing your Hollyweird gig, don’t worry about being blacklisted by a bunch of perverted pissweasels, and for the sake of Cthulhu’s left nut, don’t worry that they might not like you anymore.

And for God’s sake, DON’T FUCKING BACK DOWN FROM WHAT YOU SAY&#160 if you’re going to say it!&#160 Otherwise, STFU if you don’t have the spine for it!

Damn, people like Angus Jones piss me off!

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Roseanne Barr Arnold Barr The Fat-Ass Broad is at it again:

Roseanne Barr

* ✔

@TheRealRoseanne

no more all male priestclass will b allowed tax credits4 imposing suffering& punishment onto women or abuse victims. #yeaimgoingthere
1 Jul 12

* Reply
* Retweet
* Favorite

This from Ms. Avoirdupois Ass, the same skanky bitch who kept grabbing her crotch whilst screeching the National Anthem.

If that ain’t abuse, I’m not sure I’d wanna know what would qualify.

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And Denizens, in this thread here, wherein Don Rickles is at a Shirley MacLaine roast and makes an allegedly “RAAAAACIST” comment (gotta get those five As in there y’know) about the Ayatollah, a comment demonstrating the average IQ of the Demoscum can be found:

oh is it diffrent when mentally-ill repubs go on shows you HYPOCRITES bush perry michele baucman oh mitt romney did 10 best things on letterman stupid bush pretended to be a war pilot on a ship lying again mission accomplished 10yrs later the mission still is a mission retarded republican with selective memory you forgot lura bush on show too.. let me run along you mutts are really a waste of reality time i’ll leave ya in koo koo for coca puffs land go play with froot loop bird

Ladies & Gentlemen…your average Demoscum.

Pathetic, ain’t it?

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Actually, I can’t really take credit for this WITY&#153 – but I’ll be happy to credit blogger Billy Johnson, Jr, whom I quoted here:

While the cause of death has not yet been revealed, one can only wonder whether it was drug-related.

The results of the autopsy were released today.&#160 Annnnnnnd…bingo.

Whitney Houston was a chronic cocaine user who had the drug in her system when she drowned in a hotel bathtub, coroner’s officials said Thursday after releasing autopsy findings that also noted heart disease contributed to her death.

The disclosure ended weeks of speculation about what killed the Grammy-winning singer on Feb. 11 on the eve of the Grammy Awards.

[…]

Coroner’s Chief of Operations Craig Harvey said cocaine and its byproducts were found in Houston’s system, and the drug was listed as a contributing factor in her death. He said the results indicated Houston was a chronic cocaine user.

Okay, that’s the WITY&#153 for Mr. Johnson.&#160 Here’s my&#160 WITY&#153.

Toxicology results also showed Houston had marijuana, Xanax, the muscle relaxant Flexeril, and the allergy medication Benadryl in her system. Houston died just hours before she was scheduled to appear at producer Clive Davis’ pre-Grammy Awards bash.

Uh-huh.

What?&#160 Did?&#160 I?&#160 Tell Ya&#153???

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Y’know, I was going to try and offer a short eulogy/tribute to Whitney Houston – who, as I’m sure you guys are all aware by now, died yesterday at the age of 48…

…but then I read this from Yahoo! music blogger Billy Johnson, Jr.

Too many of us—myself included—are guilty of making insensitive jokes about the demise of Whitney Houston, her frail frame, loss of one of pop’s purest voices, and battle with drugs.

But none of us are laughing now.

[…]

Houston’s fans were concerned when she married R&B bad boy Bobby Brown in 1992, but they professed their happiness.

By the late 1990s, Houston’s drug problems began to become tabloid fodder. In a 2002 interview with ABC’s Diane Sawyer, Houston admitted to her struggles, but maintained that she was doing fine.

The public received its first real glimpse of Houston behind-the-scenes in 2004 when she appeared on Brown’s reality series “Being Bobby Brown.” The bad publicity move depicted Houston as profane, combative, and delusional, seemingly supporting the behavior of someone on drugs.

Among the saddest indications of Houston’s fall was her 2009 comeback album, “I Look To You.” While the album received positive reviews, her live performances signaled that the damage to her voice was beyond repair.

Concertgoers stormed out of her 2010 “Nothing But Love World Tour” angry, complaining that Houston was not fit to sing live, and they demanded that their ticket costs be refunded.

On stage, Houston made light of her vocal struggles, and even seemed to be confident when doing so.

But the public scrutiny intensified, and was followed by additional stints in rehab.

While the cause of death has not yet been revealed, one can only wonder whether it was drug-related.

I think that, of this, there can be little doubt.

People like me have been shouting loud & long from the rooftops about the dangers of illegal drug use, from marijuana right on up the scale (pun not really intended, but it fits here, doesn’t it?).&#160 For our efforts, we’re pooh-poohed, laughed at, ostracized, sniffed at, dismissed and just generally treated like pond scum by the so-called “enlightened” among elitist shits who think that there’s no harm in “just a little recreational drug use”.&#160 Just a li’l toak ever’ now-and-then, cain’t be allllll that&#160 bad, now can it?

Whitney Houston very likely started with marijuana.&#160 You tell me.

Rest in peace, Whitney.

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