Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________





Denizens, the annual Memorial Day column reprint can be found here.

Happy Memorial Day, guys.

And to our men & women who serve & have served…thank you.

_____________________________________________________





Believe it or not, Texas used to be a Demoscum state.

Now, Donks here weren’t anywhere near  as bad as what you had (and have) back Northeast – but they were bad enough.

Texas is overwhelmingly Republican today, and Bill Clements was the man who got it started, back in 1979, when he became the first Republican governor elected in over 100 years

Bill Clements is dead tonight at 94.

Clements, who served two terms as governor despite losing his first re-election bid, died Sunday after what his family said was a brief stay at a Dallas-area hospital. The family said Clements had been ill for several months and grieving the death of his son, who was shot and killed by a neighbor last year.

“It is somewhat fitting that he died Memorial Day Weekend since he so appreciated the opportunities he had to serve his state and country,” the family said in a statement.

The Texas House honored Clements with a moment of silence Sunday on the chamber floor.

“As the father of the modern day Texas Republican Party, Gov. Clements is responsible for the growth, success and election of Texas Republicans in every corner of our state,” Gov. Rick Perry said. “Today, Texans and Americans have lost a leader whose leadership, service and patriotism were unparalleled.”

Our thoughts & prayers are with the Clements family tonight.  The governor will be sorely missed.

_____________________________________________________





Denizens, go read this tear-jerker of a story.

Suddenly, it’s a wee bit dusty in here.

_____________________________________________________





[SCENE:  Realm™ spacedock.  In the abscence of Lord Darth Venomous (whom, you will recall, is currently languishing in Facebook Hell™), Supreme General Rayegun has arrived from the Southern Command™ to oversee things.  His first order of business was to organize a search for the Admiral.

He is conferring now with Captain Korrioth, Realm™ shipmaster Commander K'tinghe and the rest of the senior staff.]

RAYEGUN:  So where is this ribbon now?

KORRIOTH:  Badlands, General.  Specifically, Sector 11287, in the Hogan system.  Estimated 3.1 days until it hits the Umagakhali Nebula.

RAYEGUN:  And you still believe His Snarkiness is in there.

OZY MCCOOL:  His last known position, yes, General.

RAYEGUN:  Very well. What do we have in the way of ships around here?

K’TINGHE:  We’ve come up with this prototype—

RAYEGUN:  You are not  sending the prototype in there after my friend, Commander, is that clear???

K’TINGHE:  Uh, not that  prototype, General.

[K'tinghe moves to the wall display on the far wall and touches a control.  A nasty, sleek-looking, dark-charcoal gray battlecruiser appears on the display.]

K’TINGHE:  General, this is the fleet’s newest vessel – Pegasus II.  We have built it with the strongest titanium alloy available, and coated it with a neutronium armor.  It is currently rated to withstand 2.5 times the amount of gravometric turbulence that our previous ships could tolerate.  It is ideal for going into areas that would tear apart other, lesser ships.

RAYEGUN:  Such as the perimeter of this ribbon.

K’TINGHE:  Aye, sir.  But that’s not the best part.  (K’tinghe touches another control.)  Look what we’re powering it with.

[Rayegun's mouth virtually hits the floor.]

RAYEGUN:  I don’t believe it.  He finally took my suggestion and put—

MERLIN:  Well, it wasn’t exactly  his idea.  Amazing what you can accomplish when a technical Luddite isn’t around to put the kibosh on things.

ALL

RAYEGUN:  Very well, then.  Get this ship prepped and on its way.  I can’t imagine we have all that  much time.

KORRIOTH:  Aye, General. (to K’tinghe) Move.

K’TINGHE (with a suddenly tight look on his face):  Captain—

KORRIOTH:  Is there a problem, Commander?

K’TINGHE(gulping almost audibly):  No, m’lord.  On my way.

[He turns to go, a sullen look on his face.  Korrioth ponders this for a moment, then turns his attention away, filing the sequence for later.]

Changes are coming.

Not anything that’ll affect you guys, but they’ll be fun to talk about, once in place.  (Well, they will be for the geeks among us, anyway.)

Watch this space.

_____________________________________________________





(Hat tip Alan K. Henderson.)

Ew.

Just, ew.

(sigh) Jedi scum… 

_____________________________________________________





ITEM:  Ed “Sergeant” Schultz yesterday called radio host Laura Ingraham a “right-wing alut”.

ED SCHULTZ (02:52): And what do the Republicans thinking about? They’re not thinking about their next-door neighbor. They’re just thinking about how much this is going to cost. President Obama is going to be visiting Joplin, Mo., on Sunday but you know what they’re talking about, like this right-wing slut, what’s her name?, Laura Ingraham? Yeah, she’s a talk slut. You see, she was, back in the day, praising President Reagan when he was drinking a beer overseas. But now that Obama’s doing it, they’re working him over.

Now, to their credit, (P)MSNBC has “suspended” the fat fuck for a week (they’re painting it as though it was Schultz’s idea).

But I would pay real money if that fat-assed son-of-a-bitch were to say it to Mr.  Ingraham’s face.  That’d be better than any MMA or UFC match.

You’re a chickenshit, Edwina.  Come down to Texas and spew that BS to my  face and see what happens, pussy.

_____________________________________________________





…16:39…16:40…16:41…

Harry Camping is at it again.  (So much so that I may have to create a new category for the idiot.)

Having just been absolutely humilated “flabbergasted” at the God of Abraham, Isaac & Jacob showing him, a la  Job, just how effing insignificant he really is in the whole scheme of things, Princess Harry now  claims Judgement Day will occur on October 21.

His excuse reasoning?

A California preacher who foretold of the world’s end only to see the appointed day pass with no extraordinarily cataclysmic event has revised his apocalyptic prophecy, saying he was off by five months and the Earth actually will be obliterated on Oct. 21.

Harold Camping, who predicted that 200 million Christians would be taken to heaven Saturday before catastrophe struck the planet, apologized Monday evening for not having the dates “worked out as accurately as I could have.”

Oh.  Is that it?  Well, why didn’tcha say so?

…19:01…19:02…19:03…

_____________________________________________________





The General – along with the rest of you anti-Microsoft bigots (grin) – will be pleased to learn that Yours Truly™ has started down the path of one particular Dark Side™.

For this post…is being written on a Linux box.

More later.  Gotta go pick up Mrs. Venomous’ car and cough up $500 to turn off a “check engine” light. 

_____________________________________________________





Browsing through my collection of Intertubes favorites, I came across this article on Engadget.

Here’s just the splashy numbers:

There are SSDs and then there are SSDs — the Texas Memory Systems (TMS) RamSan-70 is definitely the latter, packing 900GB of high-speed SLC NAND flash onto a single half-length PCIe card. Boasting an incredible 2GB-per-second sustained external throughput, this near-terabyte solid state drive is clearly overkill for most of us, considering that it’s guaranteed to have a sky-high price (once details are released). Instead, the “900GB Gorilla,” as it’s come to be known around TMS HQ, is destined for high-end servers — though we certainly wouldn’t object to clearing out a slot in our desktop, if by some miracle we can afford this monster when it starts shipping in four to eight weeks.

Oh. Emm. Gee!!!!

The manufacturer lovingly calls it the “900GB Gorilla”. Although pricing will clearly put it out of the range of basically everything except the high-end server market….it would be seriously SUH-WEEET in a desktop case near the Command Bunker. Guess the General is going to need to put in the Purchase Order Request later this summer when this gem is available on the market.

ThatIsAll™

_____________________________________________________





Well, Denizens, I’m pleased to see we’re all still here.

Y’see, contrary to what Harry Camping was bloviating about, I had every confidence that we were going to get through his so-called “Judgement Day” fully intact.

See, here’s the thing:  Not even Christ Himself knows when all this is going to happen.

“But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone…Therefore be on the alert, for you do not know which day your Lord is coming. But be sure of this, that if the head of the house had known at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on the alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into. For this reason you also must be ready; for the Son of Man is coming at an hour when you do not think He will.

(And may God add His blessings to the reading of His holy Word.)

So, if God’s own Son admits that not only can no earthly man know when all this is going to take place, but that He Himself doesn’t even know…then we’re all supposed to take Widdle Harry Camping’s word for it?

I.  Don’t.  Effing.  Think.  So.

Which is why I’m not surprised that we’re all still here.  And will be until the Lord really does  come back for us.

Thanks for playing, Harry, have a nice day.  Buh-bye. 

_____________________________________________________





The Death of May 21st

Pastor Fisk and I are not always on the same page, but in this matter, he is right on the money.

In his video piece, Rev. Fisk makes reference to a blog article by another Confessional Lutheran pastor. You can find that article here.

_____________________________________________________





Those of you who have read me for any  length of time – well, you probably knew it was coming all along, didn’t you? – but you know damned well what this is.

(No, smartasses – it’s not the trumpet sounding that so-called “Judgment Day” or “Rapture” that that damnfool Harry Camping is bleating about.  I’ll have more on that later on today.

For now, click the link.  Go ahead.  Click it.  I effin’ dare  you.

And turn it up.  Waaaaaay  up.    )

That’s right, sportz fanz:  It’s vacation time for His Rudeness™.  A chance to Get Away From It All™, as it were.

Thanks to Bambi & his shitty economy, though, Mrs. Venomous & I are staying in town and not doing a helluva lot, due to the money just not being there.

MRS. VENOMOUS:  Ohhhhhh, don’t worry, sweetie.  We’ll find plenty  of things to do. (wink)

VENOMOUS

Vicar, General – you guys have the conn.  General, could I borrow a squadron of those black helicopters…? 

_____________________________________________________





My money is on Mr. Netanyahu.

_____________________________________________________





(via TMZ)

Not much of a WWF fan, but I know Macho Man Savage was a good guy.

Reports out of Florida (from the TMZ article) said he had a massive heart attack while driving his Jeep Wrangler, crossed over the opposing lane of traffic and hit a tree head on. Both he and his wife of one year were wearing seat belts.  She is fine.

Being that the General has done rotations in hospital Emergency Rooms, he can say with a fair amount of certainty that the autopsy will not be pretty.

Prayers go out to Mrs. Savage and his fans.

Dismissed™

_____________________________________________________





One.

_____________________________________________________

« Previous Articles    
_______________
 
 
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Spatula City BBS! was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.