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Our President would have us believe that unemployment has seen a dramatic improvement, and that his economic policies are actually helping the people. This article shows us why Obama is not to be believed.

I once stated that Romney is Obama lite, and that I would not vote should he become the nominee. I am revisiting that position. At this point, Romney has several things going for him that Obama does not, beginning with the fact that he appears to be an honest man.

Not one of my better efforts, but none-the-less, here is yesterday’s sermon: More »

Denizens, remember this budding Sith Lord?

Max Page is gonna have open-heart surgery today to replace a heart valve.  Afterwards, there’ll be a six-week recuperation period.

Max needs our prayers.  Yes – that’s an order.

ThatIsAll™.

On this day in 1932 Eunice Ellen Louise Wunderlich Hartung entered the world. After serving her Lord in various vocations, including nurse, wife, mother, grand mother and even great grandmother, she was called to the church triumphant last July 12.

Mom, We miss you, but at the same time we celebrate the life you led, and the training in living life that you gave us.

Now late on the sabbath day, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre. And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled away the stone, and sat upon it. His appearance was as lightning, and his raiment white as snow: and for fear of him the watchers did quake, and became as dead men.

And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye; for I know that ye seek Jesus, who hath been crucified. He is not here; for he is risen, even as he said.

—Matthew 28: 1-6

And may God add His blessings to the reading of His holy Word.

Still isn’t about bunnies or colored eggs, Denizens.

Remember why, and rejoice.

He is risen!

For those who care, I apologize for having been absent from this blog. the last several weeks have been taken up in getting my lovely bride(of 31 years) a brand new store bought knee. Her surgery was on the 8th of March, and as of a few minutes ago, she is doing very well.

Many thanks and many kudos to the professionals at the Memphis VA Medical center. They not only did an outstanding professional job, but they treated my wife with far more care and compassion than we have ever seen “on the outside”.

Those of you who read this blog and are veterans, if you have not registered with the VA, you need to do so. Even if you have good insurance, they can provide excellent care, and they will take your insurance. Should something happen where you lose your insurance, you do not lose access to your health-care. If nothing else, being registered at the VA is a very handy backup.

Not to gloat, but grandchild number 7 is due in September.

I do like being Granddad!

Does still exist in the USA. The Supreme Court ruled today that Federal government hiring policies do not apply to people in a ministerial position. The story is here.

The decision was 9 to 0, so this one will be with us for a while.

Denizens, we’ll start this Bowl Edition™ of the Perfect Football Weekend™ with an example of what happens when the rule-makers and the zebras that enforce their wishes get a liiiiiiiiiitttttttllllleeeee too anal-retentive.

When he raised his fist on his way to the end zone, Boston (Mass.) Cathedral High quarterback Matt Owens thought he was celebrating the score that would hand his school a surprising Super Bowl title. Instead, he was doing the one thing that could keep them from it: Earning a penalty on a play where there was nothing but green turf between himself and the end zone.

Taunting.  They called him for fucking taunting.

As reported by the Boston Globe and Boston Herald among other sources, Owens was handed an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for raising his fist during his run to the end zone in the fourth quarter, a call which negated the touchdown and moved the ball back to the spot of the foul at the Blue Hills (Mass.) High 24-yard line.

[...]

The called back touchdown cost Cathedral the lead — had Owens reached the end zone without incident, Cathedral would have gained an 18-16 lead with roughly six minutes remaining in the game. A play later, the quarterback essentially cost his team the game, throwing an interception to Blue Hills cornerback Keith Gomes that paved the way for Blue Hills to run out the rest of the clock and seal a 16-12 victory.

All because a fuckheaded zebra – and a bunch of “aw, give’m a trophy just for showing up” helicopter parents thought a kid on another team that had also worked hard to get where they were was taunting their pwecous widdle babeezzzz.

Syphillitic sinkholes full o’ shit.

On to the football.  It’s the Poinsettia Bowl in San Diego tonight, so that must mean it’s TCU.  The 18th-ranked Froggies are a 10-point favorite over Louisiana Tech…

VENOMOUS:  Vegas, are you sure  you have that right?

VEGAS:  Problem?

VENOMOUS:  You mean besides a team that would’ve beaten Baylor if it had a dependable kicker, would’ve torched SMUT with an impartial officiating crew, and did  beat a top-10 team on their Smurf Turf field only being a 10-point favorite over a team that couldn’t beat Hawai’i?  Nah, not really.

VEGAS:  (grunt)

Bet the house on TCU.  This isn’t even  going to be close.

Saturday night, the Dallas Cowgirlz get their first second shot at wrapping up the NFC Least when they host Mikey “Woof!” Vick and the rest of the Philthydelphia Beagles.

Wouldn’t really even bother me too much if the ‘Girlz lost this…as long as DeSeanna Jackoff finally took a beating.  But this is the same buncha cowards that wouldn’t put a steel-toed boot to Bwandi Jackoff’s crotch the other night, so look for another embarrassment.

We’re back Sunday or so for the recap.  Assuming, that is, that I’m not sawing logs from too much Christmas ham the night before…

Those of you who have read me for any  length of time – well, you probably knew it was coming all along, didn’t you? – but you know damned well what this is.

For now, click the link.  Go ahead.  Click it.  I effin’ dare  you.

And turn it up.  Waaaaaay  up.    )

That’s right, sportz fanz:  It’s vacation time for His Rudeness™.  A chance to Get Away From It All™, as it were.

Thanks to Bambi & his shitty economy, though, Mrs. Venomous & I are staying in town and not doing a helluva lot, due to the money just not being there.

MRS. VENOMOUS:  Ohhhhhh, don’t worry, sweetie.  We’ll find plenty  of things to do. (wink)

VENOMOUS: 

Vicar, General – you guys have the conn.  General…when you’re done chlorinating the gene pool of Occutards down there in the Southern Command™, could I borrow another squadron of those black helicopters…? 

To: His Nastiness Darth Venemous

From: The Vicar

Date: 7 November 2011

Re: Spatula City Community

Will our old friends from the LENS/LESS days be joining us here?

That’s it.  Candace, you can have him.  I’ve had enough of that son-of-a-bitch.

Arlington Heights 52, Carter-Riverside 0

#25 Texas Christian 37, at Air Force 19

at #10 Nebraska 42, Fresno St 29

at Kansas 45, Northern Illinois 42

Dallas 24, at NY Jets 27

Happy Blogaversary to me;

Happy Blogaversary to me;

Happy Blogaversary dear Vennnnn-o-mousssssssssssss (burp!)

Happy Blogaversary to me!!!!!!!!!

It was eight years ago today that Spatula City BBS! ceased being a simple web site and became a full-fledged member of the Blogosphere.

Eight years, several CSITMF challenges and one douchebaggery, plays-with-inflatable-dolls chickenshit (yeah, Cortese, I’m looking at you) later, we’re still going strong.

Thanks to all 110,000+ of you who’ve darkened my doorstep.

(And to the ones who’re too frightened to – yeah, told you so.)

Is this legal?

Was not this sort of action on the part of the British, one of the reasons our founders chose to separate from England?

While I am thinking of it, emergency response teams may wish to go on heightened alert at the Southern Command, and VHQ(Venomous headquarters). This is the sort of thing which has been known to give both the General and his nastiness massive strokes!