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Well, Denizens, since the Texass stRangerS are getting their heads handed them once again  by the worst team in the American League (the annual July swoon is coming a little later than expected this year), and the C’boys are firmly ensonced in training camp…the re-launch of the Perfect Football Weekend™ couldn’t come at a better time. 

For those of you who are new to this blog, here’s the deal:  During the football season, I follow the adventures – or misadventures, in some cases – of six football teams which I like, and chronicle their exploits here.  I then invite you to do likewise in the comment section of each PFW post.

This year’s PFW teams are as follows:

High school – (Fort Worth) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets:  The Yellow Jackets will once again be led by coach Duke Christian – which is a puzzle in itself as to why he’s still there.  Oh, well, as long as he keeps taking the Gold & Blue to the playoffs, I guess it doesn’t matter that they get their asses handed to them in the first round every year.

Don’t know any names of players yet, so I’m not sure if last year’s pseudo-phenom, Donnell Dickerson, is still even there (he might have graduated, not sure).  Hope to have more before their first game.

College: – Texas Christian University Horned Frogs:  Gary Patterson marks yet another year as the Tadpoles’ head coach, and brings back eight starters on offense and six on defense.

TCU’s fortunes this year will all depend on the cannon arm of sophomore quarterback Andy Dalton.  They’re gonna have to score a lot to win, I fear – the defense is once again undersized, but unlike last year, it’s also now inexperienced.  Let’s hope Dalton’s freshman-baptism-by-fire has tempered his abilities to a fine edge this year – he’s gonna need it.

College – University of Oklahoma Sooners – I’ve come to respect (and even admire) the will to win that is embodied in Bob Stoops.  Plus, he’s matured some over the years, and is a little more humble nowadays, which is good.

Stoops will bring back Sam Bradford, Jermaine Gresham and a cast of thou…well, dozens (grin)…as they try yet again for a national championship.  Or at least to not be embarrassed in their bowl game. 

College – University of Nebraska Cornhuskers – SCBBS welcomes home the Huskers after a five-year absence.  Having deep-sixed Failed Bit™ Bill Callahan, Big Red made the hire it should’ve made five years ago and brought former LSU defensive guru Bo Pelini back as head coach.  As the defensive coordinator for the Huskers, Pelini got his players to run through brick walls for him, and doubtless he’ll bring that same intensity & passion to the offensive side, as well.

College – University of Buffalo (NY) Bulls – Turner Gill, former Arlington Heights & Nebraska quarterback, coached this motley crew last year to a 5-7 record (5-3 confernce, 4-2 division and a share of the division title) and a Mid-American Conference Coach-Of-The-Year award.  The Bulls are picked to finish third in the MAC East this year, and even received three first-place votes.  Not bad for a third-year coach.

As usual, we will give Turner the benefit of the doubt in his games, allowing them a little extra slack when it comes to the Vegas line.  This year, as long as the Bulls (when they’re the underdog) can hold the opposition to within 10 points of the line, that will count as a victory in the PFW.  (May do something similar with Arlington Heights, too – still thinking about that one.)

Pro – Dallas Cowboys – Wade Phillips led the C’boys to a 13-3 record and what should  have been a playoff win against the NY Football Douchebags and their pussified quarterback, E-why Manning.

This year, with a re-tooled secondary, the addition of Zach Thomas at linebacker and an even stronger DeMarcus Ware & Anthony Spencer, the ‘Boys should be favored to play in Tampa for Super Bowl XLIII.

Tony Romo returns at quarterback with the same offensive cast of characters – Terrell Owens, James Witten and Marion “The Barbarian” Barber, protected by a massive offensive line.

Once Adam Jones is reinstated to football, he will make a strong secondary even stronger.  (And when was the last time you could say “strong secondary” and “Cowboys” in the same sentence, hm?

Now, the rules for the PFW are simple:  All my teams which are playing on a given weekend have to win (or in Buffalo’s case, cover) for a Perfect Football Weekend™ to be declared.  As usual, I just care about my teams – I don’t give a flying fuck about your teams; that’s what the comments are for.  And participation in PFW threads are most welcome.

We’ll crank up things tomorrow for the Hall of Fame Game on Sunday.  (There may be more games on the toob; I just don’t know about ‘em yet.)  See you then.

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Okay, so the Shorts-In-A-Wad wing of the Evangelical Right™ is all up in arms over a Pete Sessions fund-raiser.

A political party hosted by Rep. Pete Sessions at a Las Vegas adult club has jaws dropping.
 
The event, in March 2007 at a club called Forty Deuce, raised money for the Dallas Republican’s political action committee, People for Enterprise Trade and Economic Growth.
 
Aides to Mr. Sessions, a self-described conservative, and others said the act was a mild burlesque show, but some conservative activists were aghast that the event was held at an adult club.
 
“What’s the difference?” asked Cathie Adams, president of the Texas Eagle Forum. “I don’t think that it’s representative of the constituents of the district. I’m in shock.”

(Gasp, ARRRRRRRGH~!!!!!!1!!!ONE1!)

Oh.  Puh.  Leeeeeeeeeeze.

Okay, all you in the Holier-Than-Thou Club™, front & center.

Listen up.  There are some things you need to take into consideration here:

Now< I will readily grant you that Our Man Pete™ probably  could have picked a better place to hold a fund-raiser.  Probably.  Having said that…

1) The thing was damned near 18 effin’ months ago, for fuck’s sake!  The damned thing has been freakin’ public knowledge  for about that long.  Meaning that the Lame Stream Mediots™ and the Demoscum (but we repeat ourselves) have had access to that information for that long.  (And I think you can safely trust me on this:  Pete Sessions can’t take a dump without the Donktards knowing about it.  No Republican can – just ask Larry Craig.)

Has it not occurred to you that if there was political hay to be made about this, it woulda been made a helluva lot sooner?!?!?!

2) Take a look at this blurb:

The Forty Deuce is a popular Mandalay Bay spot that features a burlesque show. Such routines are considered classier than pole dancing and generally attract just as many women as men. They feature elaborate costumes, but dancers do eventually strip to near nudity.

And later:

A review on the club’s Web site states: “Jaws drop and drinks are ignored as the tempo picks up and the dancer steps up, shedding boa, gown and gloves towards the electrifying finale. After the show, our celebrity DJ drops in a dance groove and it’s dancing ’til dawn!

Okay, define for me “near nudity”.  Verily, verily I say unto you, I’m willing to wager that there’s more skin shown at a TCU football home game.

And speaking of showing skin…

3) Get a load of this load from a local Demoscum Cupid Stunt™:

Democrats were happy to pile on the congressman.

“He’s such a boring guy that a little pizzazz may help him,” said Darlene Ewing, chairwoman of the Dallas County Democratic Party. “I thought they were the party of family values, but they are having fundraisers at burlesque shows.”

Oh, really?  Someone wanna tell me where these Demoscum were when See-BS was getting off scot-fucking-free over Janet Jackson’s little “wardrobe malfunction”?  Anyone?  Bueller?

I’ll tell you where they likely were:  Boozing it up in fucking celebration  that the FCC got its ass handed to it, that’s where.  The whole effin’ world got to see Miss Nasty’s tit and they were creaming their panties over it, but they’ll throw Pete Sessions under the bus for a show where there were more naughty bits covered up!

Fucking hypocrites, the whole lot of them.

Which leads me to point 4) If the average person thinking with their head, rather than their ass – when the hell did anyone start believing the LSM or  the Demoscum (but we repeat outselves) on anything?????

I’ll repeat again, for those of you who haven’t been paying attantion:  If the LSM tells me the sky is blue, I’m going out and double-checking.  I don’t take the LSM’s word about anything.

Ever.

So, Cathie Adams and the rest of the evangelicals – let’s try to remember the good that Pete Sessions is doing for the state of Texas and the nation, and remember the source of this attempt to throw him under the bus, and just take it fucking easy, okay???

Geeze.

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As if San Fran Nan Piglosi and Harry “What illegal real estate deals?” Greedyfingers are needing to cover their asses and make sure any other clueless fuck that can’t add 2+2 to figure out that they have more mortgage than income by passing the “Foreclosure Protection Act of 2008″, which of course the President has signed. Not the real relief we need, because this as the MarketWatch article states:

$300 billion in additional loan guarantees for the Federal Housing Administration, offer a temporary tax credit for first-time home buyers, and give money to local governments to buy foreclosed properties before they can blight the neighborhood.

Lovely, another $300 billion we all are going to have to pay for.

But buried in the fine print of this bill is this.

A slightly clearer explanation is here.

What this all comes down to is this. Big Brother, in the guise of the benevolent IRS, will be allowed to see ALL credit AND debit card transactions that occur. The author of all this invasion of our wallets? None other than San Fran Nan Piglosi. Can you say “DON’T WANT”? Yes, I knew you could.

Two things immediately come to mind. The first is Revelations 13:17 (I’ll leave the choice of translations to you). The second, time to get rid of any sort of plastic payment method and go to a strictly cash-only household. Until they start putting RFID transmitters in our paper money, or the first possibility occurs (see above).

Most transparent Congress in history, Piglosi you need to have you vision and intelligence checked cause you have no CLUE what that means.

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Most of you probably saw or heard about the ranting, which we all promptly flushed down the crapper. Because we all know that’s exactly what the rant is — crap. Well ReasonOnline has a piece up on what the Gorebecil really meant by the fact that the U.S. must go “green” within 10 years.

Here’s a sample of the real “green”:

According to the Energy Information Administration, the existing capacity of U.S. coal, gas, and oil generating plants totals around 850,000 megawatts. So how much would it cost to replace those facilities with solar electric power?
 
Let’s use the recent announcement of a 280-megawatt thermal solar power plant in Arizona for $1 billion as the starting point for an admittedly rough calculation. Combined with a molten salt heat storage systems, solar thermal might be able to provide base load power.
 
Crunching the numbers (850,000 megawatts/280 megawatts x $1 billion) produces a total capital cost of just over $3 trillion over the next ten years.

Yes folks, that’s “Trillion” with a capital “T”. As if the current budget deficit isn’t enough, the Gorebecil in all his Gaia-enthralled intelligence just forgot to mention the cost. How quaint.

Apparently since the Gorebcil can afford to spend $16,533 a month of “green” power at his house (if you call it a “house” when it’s big enough to make Jed and Granny Clampett jealous), then he has zero problems with his conscience telling US FOLKS IN FLYOVER COUNTY that we HAVE to go 100% green on electricity production within 10 years.

Just who the fuck does this shitbag fatso think he really is??? Yo Al, in case you haven’t noticed YOU are getting as fat as the electric bills your fat arse is generating in that house of yours.

If you’re so damned pissy about getting the U.S. on green electricity in 10 years, how about coughing up some significant levels of “green” CASH for the project?

What’s that? You only tell us what the fuck we need to do, it’s not your place to fund your ideas (brain-dead as they are)??

Here’s a thought Gorebecil. Why don’t you, Breck Boy, and Hitlary all go investigate the lack of “green” electricity, love children, and universal health care in HELL. Be sure to take some sunblock, I hear the ozone hole is pretty big there. The people there are just screaming for a visit from a group like that!!!

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Item:  A couple of weeks ago, the Bennigan’s Grill & Tavern chain began offering its menus in Spanish:

The new menus, which were placed in the chain’s 310 restaurants last month and are available upon request, have been well-received, a company executive said Monday.
 
“Hispanics purchase a meal outside of their home as many as four times a week, and we don’t want language to be a barrier,” Jennifer Gamble, Bennigan’s director of marketing, said in a statement. “This Spanish menu gives our servers that option when they need it.”

Apparently the menus weren’t that  well-received – Bennigan’s shut its doors after filing for Chapter 7 yesterday.

Hmmm.  Might not have been a good idea to pony up for those Spanish menus, eh guys? 

Justice.  Buford.  T.  Justice.

(Now, this is not to trivialize the plight of those employees hit hard by the resulting layoffs, nor to laugh at their misfortune.  You guys know me better than that.

It is  to point out that karma’s a real bitch to moronic bastards who try and kowtow to the illegal-alien community.  Maybe sooner, maybe later – but there will  be a reckoning, eventually.)

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Politico’s got a sort-of puff piece on San Fran Nan Piglosi, The Shrieker Of The House™, and I was halfway trying to figure out the best way to do a rip job on the verbal methane that came from her stinking piehole.

Then I saw that Misha beat me to it.

There’s your reading assignment for tomorrow, Denizens.  It’s that good, and you’ll miss out if you don’t go take a look.

UPDATE:  LC Kwongdzu had the Line Of The Day™ yesterday in response to this Misha line:

And thanks to you, you’re just about the only surviving sentient being in this country who does still respect the office that you hold.

To which Kwongdzu replied:

Since when is Nancy Pelosi sentient?

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Interesting news from the Blogosphere this evening:  Longtime (and yes, in the world of blogging, six years is a Long Time™) gun blogger Kim du Toit is retiring at the end of November.

Kim was, in part, responsible for my acquiring the Spatula City Arsenal of Freedom™, and his writings about any  subject can be counted on to be thoughtful, incisive and quite powerfully devastating to any socialist fucktard who dares to either read them or challenge them.  The man, put simply, is a superior intellect.

I cannot admit to reading his site all that often (time just doesn’t permit it), and obviously it is my extreme loss.  Now that opportunity is going to slip away, and it is a most sad day in the Blogosphere™ for it.

Godspeed, Mr. & Mrs.  Both you guys will be sorely missed.

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… that a Congresskritter actually has a sense of humor. You can see the whole bill here.

But when it starts like this:

To provide for the transport of the enemy combatants detained in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba to Washington, D.C., where the United States Supreme Court will be able to more effectively micromanage the detainees by holding them on the Supreme Court grounds, and for other purposes.

So is this humor, a pork spending bill, or just a frivolous piece of legislation?

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And the self-destruction of Amy Winehouse (at warp speed, no less) continues unabated.

The $64 billion question:  Why does anyone care?

UPDATE:  Yes, I know the article said it was just “meds”.  A cursory analysis of just what kind  of “meds” we’re talking about here would prove most illuminating, eh what?

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All last year during football season, the Border Patrol conducted this ginormous-assed ad campaign for new recruits.  A big honkin’ sales pitch to see which of us were willing to go guard the border.

After this bullshit ruling, I can only conclude that no one in their right mind would willingly put themselves through such a fucking travesty of justice.

The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals today affirmed the major counts against former Border Patrol agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean, reversing only a minor obstruction of justice count.

Ramos and Compean are serving 11- and 12-year prison sentences, respectively, after a jury convicted them of violating federal gun laws and covering up the shooting of a drug smuggler as he fled back to Mexico after driving across the border with 743 pounds of marijuana in February 2005. U.S. Attorney Johnny Sutton’s office gave the smuggler, Osbaldo Aldrete-Davila, immunity to serve as the government’s star witness and testify against the border agents.

That would be Osbaldo Aldrete-Davila…known drug smuggling illegal alien pendejo  Osbaldo Aldrete-Davila.  To whom, I might add, illegal-alien-dick-sucking excuse-for-a-US-attorney Johnny Sutton gave immunity so that he could “testify” in a fucking kangaroo-court.  A kangaroo-court, moreover, that refused to let either Ramos or Compean offer the defense that would have cleared them.

The agents were convicted for assault, discharge of a weapon in the commission of a crime of violence, tampering with an official proceeding and deprivation of civil rights.
 
The court affirmed all convictions except for tampering with an official proceeding, which it vacated and remanded for resentencing.

In essence, Denizens, Ramos & Compean were thrown in federal prison for doing their fucking jobs.  For shooting a pene pendejo ilegal  in the ass after they both thought he’d pulled a gun on them.  And then being thrown under the legal bus by a motherfucking son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch named Johnny Sutton.

So why anyone with more than .1 of a brain would want to work for the Border Patrol – where you can apparently do everything right and still  get railroaded – is effin’ beyond me.

Ropes, trees, certain legal system officials (some of them black-robed sacks of shit):  Some assembly required. 

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Capt. Carter (Base Weapons Officer): General, long-range sensors are tracking an inbound object. Identification computers indicate it is the reconnaissance droid we sent towards the Pegasus some time ago to infiltrate the Shelliak ships attempting to circle the Pegasus.

SG Rayegun: Captain, have the targeting computers on the rail guns been calibrated for long-range objects?

Carter: Sir, they’ve been cleared for short-range operation but we’ve only gotten them to 99.999% on long-range objects.

SG Rayegun: Then I suggest you get them fine tuned that last 0.001% on that recon droid. You have my leave to fire at will Captain.

Carter: Yes sir! Targeting droid with battery #1. Target locked.

{Carter speaks over the base intercom} Prepare for rail gun battery #1 firing.

Firing NOW!!

Carter: Sir, droid has been obliterated. Rail gun targeting is now at 100% accuracy.

SG Rayegun: Thank you Captain, you may cancel the Alert status.

Carter: Yes sir!

Well, with that little problem out of the way the Southern Command stands ready to do the same to any other “targets” that enter our surveillance range. Just as Spats has mentioned, I have for many years now ran the Area5Xp blog and for some…you should remember me from the BBS glory days.

Look for new posts from myself RSN (that’s “Real Soon Now” for those of you in Rio Linda).

Dismissed™

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Denizens, recall yesterday I mentioned that I was wanting multiple authors for the Realm™?  Well, that begins effective immediately.

Let me introduce you to Supreme General Rayegun, chief military officer out in the Southern Command of the Realm™, also known as Area 5Xp.  The General will be imparting wisdom, knowledge and after-action reports to those of us here in the Realm™ – soon as he…unnngh…

[Spats carries a big, bulky, robot-llke canister over to the torpedo launcher, dumps it on the conveyor belt, and watches as it glides into the bay.  He then shuts the door, secures it, walks over to an adjoining console and mashes one fist on a button, resulting in a slight jerking motion aboard Pegasus.

External view, we see the object launch from the forward torpedo tube, and sail about 10,000 kilometers before what look like jets thereupon fire and send the object on a heading of 180 mark 261.]

…soon as he takes back that reconnaissance droid he left here at the beginning of all this. 

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Denizens, today is the day.  The IV project is now complete, and ready for deployment.

As you know, ever since Spatula City BBS! left the orbit of Planet Bogshplat, we’ve run on a platform of Movable Type 3.15.  And it’s served us well here, for the most part.

But, as Geddy Lee once said, “changes aren’t permanent – but change is”.  The time has come to part ways with Movable Type, and rebuild this fine blog upon another platform.

Therefore, later on today Spatula City BBS! will come down for a short period and convert from Movable Type 3.15 to WordPress 2.6.  With any luck, the changeover will be (other than the cosmetic appearance) relatively seamless.

There are three reasons for the conversion to WordPress:

1) This current version of MT doesn’t handle spam terribly well.  The filter, MT-Blacklist, is pretty much a reactive filter – you have to tell it what to block, and even then it’s not terribly efficient.  Our filter here is chock full, and still we continue to get spam-bombed.  I’m tired of having to deal with it all.

By contrast, WordPress is outfitted with a filter called Akismet.  It’s working extremely well on the Rott, and that hasn’t escaped my notice.

2) Ever since Mykki Chickenshit’s dick-sucking sycophant pussified minions decided to come in here and try shitting on my carpet, I’ve had to moderate comments.  That’s also tiresome.  Besides, I’m sure that The Six Or Seven Of You Who Still Read Me™ would prefer (as would I) to see your comments hit the blog in realtime.  WordPress will allow us to do that here.

3) MT’s “shareware” version (which is what this is) only allows for one author to a blog.  (The full version that allows multiple authors cost $69 two years ago, I can only guess it’s gone up since then, and I’m not independently wealthy.)

I have, for a long time now, wanted this blog to have multiple authors.  More authors means more posts, and potentially more traffic.

MERLIN:  Not to mention less work for you.

LSIK&T:  Shut up, conehead.

MERLIN

The plan is to build a Four Right Wing Wackos/Rott-style blog here, with multiple authors writing multiple posts per day.  More of My Eternal…

KORRIOTH:  Ahem.

…uh, Our Eternal Wisdom™ for you, the masses.

The conversion will begin here in a bit.  Keep your eyes peeled.

UPDATE:  Ladies & gentlemen, welcome to the new Spatula City BBS!

Now that the migration is complete, we’ll see about adding some things that I’ve always meant to add to try and make the experience more like it was on the old BBS.

Feel free to look around. Have fun!

Update the 2nd:  The blogroll is not yet complete.  I’ll get it finished…

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:  Don’t tell me – Tuesday.

LSIK&T:  Would you go back to Veridian III and kick Soran’s ass?  I’m trying to run a blog here.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:  Touchy, touchy.

Anyway, I’ll get it done soon as I can.  ThatIsAll™.

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[SCENE:  In His Rudeness’ quarters.  Pegasus  is en route to the Shelliak homeworld, having destroyed its flagship without firing a shot.  Captain Korrioth, on orders from Lord Spatula, has dutifully transmitted footage of the “battle” to the Shelliak, along with a pointed message that they were not  happy campers.

Spats, having downed the aforementioned keg of peach-tea-flavored Theragen derivative, is now attempting to rest before the next encounter.  A chime, the location of which Our Hero™ cannot place, is insisting on his attention.

Spats sits up in bed, palms trying unsuccessfully to push back the throbbing migraine-like pain shooting out of his eye sockets.]

LSIK&T:  I don’t suppose you have any Generic Acetominiphen-Based Pain Reliever Food Substitute™ over there, do you, Allan-a-Dale?

[I hate it when he calls me that.]

LSIK&T:  I know.  That’s why I do it. 

[Sorry, m'lord, no.  McCool took the last six I had - something about too much Romulan ale again.]

LSIK&T:  That does it; I’m getting me a sober Chief Engineer.  [The chime sounds again.]  WHAT?!?!?!?!?

[A holographic figure rises from the floor.  As Spats was earlier, this figure is also wearing a hooded cloak.]

HOODED FIGURE:  You have done well, my you…my middle-aged padawan.

[Spats squints at the figure with one half-open eye.]

LSIK&T:  Aren’t you dead?

HOODED FIGURE:  What I am or am not is not important.  What is  important—

LSIK&T:  And I’m not your padawan, either!  You never gave me  any formal Sith training, Palpy, remember?  I learned at the hand of Darth Mortis, if you’ll recall.

HOODED FIGURE:  You will properly address me as ‘Master’, my apprentice.

LSIK&T:  You’re lucky I’m only calling you Palpy, and I said  I’m not your padawan!

HOODED FIGURE:  But you have  used your Sith talents again.  I felt the disturbance in the Force.  It is why I am here – to start you back on your training.

LSIK&T:  Well, to paraphrase a little green mutual acquaintance of ours, I need no further training.  Already know all I’m going to need.

HOODED FIGUREYou know nothing of the Dark Side of the Force, padawan.  You still require much training to become truly powerful.

LSIK&T:  I already am  truly powerful.  I’m alive, have my powers and  rule my own little part of the galaxy.

[Spats raises an eyebrow at the hooded hologram]

LSIK&T:  Which is more than I can say for you  as of late.

[A look of extreme rage crosses the hooded one's face and he raises his arms and reaches out towards His Rudeness.]

LSIK&T (quickly):  But if it’ll make you happy – and  get you out of my hair – I suppose I can go by my Sith name a little more often.  Satisfied?

HOODED FIGURE:  It is your name as chosen by the Sith Brotherhood.  You are required to identify yourself by that name.

LSIK&T:  You forget, Palpy – I’m a free man.  The Sith long ago demonstrated they did not need me – nor I them, for that matter.

[At that moment, the migraine decides to remind Our Hero™ just why he's in his quarters in the first place.  Spats winces noticeably.]

LSIK&T:  Nor do I need you  RightAboutNow™.  Off with you, before I scramble yer molecules.

HOODED FIGURE:  This is not yet over, my padawan.  You will address me as “Master” eventually.  I have foreseen it.

LSIK&T:  Yeah, yeah, just like you foresaw Endor.  Now git!!!

[The image fades from view.  It is replaced by the ship's intercom.]

KORRIOTH (over speaker):  Bridge to the Admiral.  We are within visual range of the Shelliak homeworld.  They have sent another “welcoming committee”; you may wish to see this.

LSIK&T (under breath):  Aw, shit.  (towards speaker) Very well, Captain.  I’m on my way.

(To be continued…)

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One.

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This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
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