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DIE, SWINE, DIE!!!!! 

Justice.

Buford.  T.  Justice.

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Hat tip:  LC SecondMouse from the Rott.)

Helen Thomas has assumed room temperature.

President Obama said in a written statement that Thomas “never failed to keep presidents – myself included – on their toes.”

“What made Helen the ‘Dean of the White House Press Corps’ was not just the length of her tenure, but her fierce belief that our democracy works best when we ask tough questions and hold our leaders to account,” said Obama, the last president in a string dating back to the 1960s to field questions from Thomas.

Thomas was known to legions of Washington reporters simply as “Helen.” She was the doyenne — and, unofficially, the dean — of the White House press corps since the Kennedy administration, but never succumbed to the allure of power, prestige and glitz surrounding the capital.

Pardon me a minute whilst I stop laughing/gagging.

Now, my dear sainted mother (may she rest in peace) always tried to teach me that, when speaking of the dead, if one had nothing good to say about a libtarded, anti-Semetic, half-assed excuse-for-a-journalist supremo bitch…then one should say nothing at all.

So I will report that Helen Thomas has died, and leave it at that.

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(Hat tip: M, via FB)

Drudge is reporting that Janet “Big Sister” Napolitano is out the door, outta here!!!.

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said Friday she will step down from her post to become president of the University of California system.

Yeah…she’ll fit right in:  She’s a fruit, a flake and  a nut.

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Denizens, remember when I kvetched long & loud about George “I Guarantee It” Zimmer, late of the Men’s Wearhouse?  The bastard that threw in with the Occutards out there in Oakland?

Yeah, that guy.

Well, Men’s Wearhouse isn’t coming right out & saying it, but it looks as if some of our complaints finally  made it up to the ears of the board.  They fired the fuckhead yesterday.

The men’s clothier said Wednesday that it fired executive chairman and face of the company George Zimmer, 64, who has appeared in many of its TV commercials with the slogan “You’re going to like the way you look. I guarantee it.”

The company announced the move in a terse statement that gave no reason for the abrupt firing of Zimmer, who built Men’s Wearhouse Inc. from one small Houston store using a cigar box as a cash register to one of North America’s largest men’s clothing sellers with 1,143 locations.

[...]

Zimmer said in a written statement that over the past several months he and the board of directors disagreed about the company’s direction.

“Over the last 40 years, I have built The Men’s Wearhouse into a multi-billion dollar company with amazing employees and loyal customers who value the products and service they receive at The Men’s Wearhouse,” he said in a statement. But he noted that “instead of fostering the kind of dialogue in the boardroom that has, in part, contributed to our success, the board has inappropriately chosen to silence my concerns by terminating me as an executive officer.”

Boo-hoo-fuckin’-hoo.

Sounds to me like your decision to side with the Occutards finally bit you in your ample ass.

About damned time, too.  I can go shopping for suits again.

That karma, it do be a bee-yotch, don’t it? 

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Frank Lautenberg died a couple days ago. He was 89.

Now, my dear, sainted mother always told me that if I couldn’t say anything nice about a lying, cheating, illegally-elected, pro-abort, anti-Second Amendment bastard tyrant wannabe with severe delusions of adequacy…then I shouldn’t say anything.

So I’ll just say that Frank Lautenberg died a couple days ago, and leave it at that.

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Denizens, when it became apparent that Josh “Crack” Hamilton wasn’t going to re-sign with the Tex-ass StrangerS, the hue & cry went up from the masses.

Paraphrasing, it went something like “Ohnoes!  How are we ever  going to replace our hero & Saviour?!?!  What are we going to dooooooooo?!?!?!?!  OHNOES!!1!!ON3!!!!!ELEVENTYBILLIONTRILLION!1!!1~

(Hamilton, for his part, iced up his ass & poured Crisco™ on the skids, what with his play tanking the last two or three games of last season, and him saying that Arlington “wasn’t a baseball town” and that it was “God’s will” that he and li’l Katie take as much money as Widdle Arte Morono Moreno would throw at them.)

Well, fast forward a few months…

…and the StrangerS (surprisingly, I admit) have the best record in baseball, and are cruising right along with some of the best pitching in the major leagues.

And “Crack”?

He and his Angels are nine games out of first, after only 32 played…and manager Mike Scosia actually had the temerity to bench his ass for a game.

After watching Josh Hamilton strike out five times in eight at-bats in the first two games against Baltimore, Angels Manager Mike Scioscia had seen enough of his struggling outfielder to know that he needed something more than just a pep talk. So rather than risk another poor performance in front of a national TV audience, Scioscia held Hamilton out of the starting lineup Saturday.

“It’s 100% a mental day,” Scioscia said of Hamilton, who had more than twice as many strikeouts (13) as hits (6) in his last nine games. “There’s no doubt that Josh is trying to find a rhythm in the batter’s box. Hopefully a day off to clear some cobwebs out … will push him a little bit forward.”

Hamilton, who flied out in a pinch-hitting appearance Saturday, went 1-for-4 on Sunday. He is hitting .208 with just six extra-base hits and 38 strikeouts in 31 games.

One remembers when it was more than an RBI per day, rather than more than a strikeout.

Now, guyz, I’m well aware that Our Boy Josh could very well turn it around tonight, and go on a three-month hot streak.  “That the way baseball go”, as StrangerS manager Ron “Warsh” Washington is so fond of saying.

But for some reason, this passage keeps coming to mind.  Something about pride & haughty spirits or somesuch… 

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Satan has begun his eternal raping of Hugito the Needle-Dick™.

Let the party…commence!!!

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Drudge has reported that Andy Griffith has died at the age of 86.

A few years ago, I’d have been effusive in my praise for Andy Griffith – particularly his “What it Was, Was Football” routine.  That one was funny as hell.

But since he grew senile and turned libtard on us a few years back with his support on Bambicare – meh.  I’m sorry, Denizens…I just can’t.  This man wanted to stand between me & my liberty, and I won’t ever praise someone like that.

Good effin’ riddance.

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Finally.

Jim Hoft is reporting that Ron “Lunatic” Paul has finally (FINALLY!) given up the ghost.


Rep. Ron Paul of Texas said Monday he will not compete in primaries in any of the states that have not yet voted — essentially confirming Mitt Romney will win the Republican presidential nomination.

Mr. Paul said he will continue to work to win delegates in states that have already voted and where the process of delegate-selection is playing out. He said that’s a way to make his voice heard at the Republican nominating convention in Tampa, Fla., in August.

“Moving forward, however, we will no longer spend resources campaigning in primaries in states that have not yet voted,” Mr. Paul said. “Doing so with any hope of success would take many tens of millions of dollars we simply do not have.”

Translation: “Mene mene tekel upharsin”.

If there is a Cthulhu, this will be the absolute last time we ever  see the words “Ron Paul” and “presidential candidate” in the same sentence.

But then we are  talking about the definitive blithering idiot, so I wouldn’t hold my breath.

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Hopefully right now, a certain FORMER employee of Current TV is thinking “I shoulda kept my mouth shut”. Then again, Buford T. Justice has spoken and hath decreed “Be gone wit yurself!!”

So what the bloody heck am I talking about? Just check THIS out!

What can I say? Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Well for starters there’s ” Happy Happy Joy Joy”. Or “JOYGASM!” Or even the hey hey goodbye song!!

You gotta know you’re a left fringe whackjob TV commentator when OwlBore fires you from his network for “values” issues.

A statement from the network’s founders Al Gore and Joel Hyatt said it had been founded “on the values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty to our viewers. Unfortunately these values are no longer reflected in our relationship with Keith Olbermann and we have ended it.”

Oopsies.

Politico said Olbermann was reportedly fired for failing to show up to work, “sabotaging the network” and attacking Current executives, according to a source.

Well that sounds like a normal Olbermann modus operandi.

Don’t know about you folks, but I’m here in my comfy chair just snickering like it’s going out of style!

ThatIsAll™

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And at long last, Widdle Jonnie Huntsboy has seen his personal “Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin” and decided to hang it up.

On Monday morning, Jon Huntsman announced his decision to quit his presidential bid following a poor showing in New Hampshire’s Jan. 10 primary. In his announcement, he derided the negativity permeating the GOP primary race and immediately threw his support behind Mitt Romney.

“Today, I am suspending my campaign for the presidency,” the former Utah governor and U.S. ambassador to China said during a news conference held in Myrtle Beach, S.C. “I believe it is now time for our party to unite around the candidate best equipped to defeat Barack Obama. Despite our differences and the space between us on some of the issues, I believe that candidate is Governor Mitt Romney.”

Oh, you really didn’t expect anything different, did you?  One Mormon endorsing another, that is?

This’ll add, what? Another 1.54 votes to Mittens’ total?

Yawn.

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Well, she’s done.

Rep. Michele Bachmann will “suspend her campaign” a senior campaign officials tells ABC News, just hours after placing last in the Iowa caucuses and vowing to continue in South Carolina.

Bachmann finished sixth in Tuesday’s Iowa caucus.

Awwww, isn’t that tooooo bad?  Michelle “Malicious” Malkin’s hand-picked honey-girl candidate, out.  Fall down, go boom. 

Iowa has played a visible and vital role in Bachmann’s campaign since its inception.

It became the backdrop of her presidential bid when in June she announced her candidacy   (Their link, not mine.  -DV)

Yeah, it’s called “putting all your eggs in one basket, then dropping the basket”.

in her hometown of Waterloo.

Waterloo?  She sure about that?

Thanks for playing, Shelly girl.  And, as your strap-on buddy “Malicious” would say, DLTDHYITAOTWO.

We paid a lot for that door.

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Drudge has it up that Kim Jong “Mentally” Il has packed it in.

Y’all know what that means…

PARRRRR-TEHHHHH!!!1!ONE!!!

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(Pun very definitely intended.)

Denizens, to officially  start your week off, we have this from the Sibling Unit™:

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons? Believe it or not…

… a Congress!

“Indeed”, as the Puppy Blender™ would say.

From that, we jump to some breaking news that’s hitting Fox as I type this (and confirmed by Drudge via CNN)…that Bawney Fag is bailing out on Congress.

Merry Christmas, Denizens! 

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ABC News has broken the news (confirmed by Roto-Reuters) that NATO forces have killed Moammar Qaddafi.

More later, possibly.

UPDATE:  The Picture™ is below the fold, for those of you who want to look (it ain’t pretty, you’ve been warned)…

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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