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Probably the most boring PFW ever.

‘Sokay.  Boring is good.

at #9 Oklahoma 26, Iowa State 6

at #21 Nebraska 20, Iowa 7

at #16 Wisconsin 45, #19 Penn State 7

at Dallas 20, Miami 19

And, I suppose if I want a fifth game to round things out, I have this one:

at Cincinnati 23, Cleveland 20

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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(Pun very definitely intended.)

Denizens, to officially  start your week off, we have this from the Sibling Unit™:

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons? Believe it or not…

… a Congress!

“Indeed”, as the Puppy Blender™ would say.

From that, we jump to some breaking news that’s hitting Fox as I type this (and confirmed by Drudge via CNN)…that Bawney Fag is bailing out on Congress.

Merry Christmas, Denizens! 

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“What would a commercial with me be without an incredible offer like this?”

Uh…barely watchable?

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Denizens, remember last year when I lamented what it appeared one Destiny Hope “Miley” Cyrus was turning into?

Shame, Miley. Given who your dad is, we out here were hoping you’d spare us a modicum of angst by not becoming a clone of Britney Spears. That you might grow up to be someone we’d want our daughters to emulate – someone wholesome, upright, even pure (relatively speaking, anyway).

Guess we can’t have everything we want in life, huh?

Well, Denizens?  Chalk up yet one more WITY™ for Der Spatulameister (hat tip:  411mania):

Miley Cyrus is a “pothead” and apparently she doesn’t care who knows it.

At least that was the “party line” at her private 19th birthday bash last week at the Roosevelt Hotel Beacher’s Madhouse Club in Los Angeles. In a video obtained exclusively by Flash, when Kelly Osbourne presents a cake to Cyrus emblazoned with the face of a ganja icon, the former “Hannah Montana” star cracks, “You know you’re a stoner when friends make you a Bob Marley cake — you know you smoke way too much f***in’ weed.”

[...]

Of late, it seems the former child star has gone to great lengths to distance herself from a clean pop image, including hosting “Saturday Night Live” this year and dissing Disney child actors. Can another “SNL” sketch with dead-on Cyrus impersonator Vanessa Bayer be in the works?

Can a prison career a la  Lindsey “My Breasts Have Been a Big Hit” Lohan be far behind?

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Outside of the Magnolia state, this game had no importance, but last evening Mississippi State beat Ole Miss 31-3 in their annual match-up. MSU is now bowl bound with a 6-6 record, while Ole Miss is through, and is looking for a new head coach.

For State fans, this officially a PFW! :)

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Unfortunately, Denizens, I don’t have any stories to tell about having kicked an Occupussy’s ass during my Black Friday shopping experience (yes, I went – scored myself a damn good monitor, too), so here’s something gleaned from the Backyard™, courtesy of my sister-in-law:

Note, if you will, that this particular laptop is running…Ubuntu.

Cool, huh? 

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(Yeah, it’s a rerun of a rerun of a rerun.  Of a rerun.  Et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseamBite Sue me, mkay?  I’m busy cooking. )

I first penned (penned?) this screed (g) on 11/17/01.  I thought it appropriate then (and still do), it being Thanksgiving and all, to jot down a list of those things for which I was thankful.  This year the tradition continues, below the fold, as usual with only a few minor tweaks to keep things current:

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Denizens, this week’s episode of the Perfect Football Weekend starts out with a game of “What Took You So Fuckin’ Long?”

Five years ago, the National Collegiate Athletic Association – otherwise known as the NatCollAthAsses – banned the use of Injun names (yeah, I said it – you PC-types can shove it) for its member organizations.  Among the universities affected were the U of North Dakota Fighting Sioux.

Back then, the university made noises about taking the AthAsses to court.

Five schools changed or are changing their nickname, including Midwestern State in Wichita Falls, which became the Mustangs. One school was allowed to keep its nickname but was put on a watch list. The University of North Dakota announced that state officials voted to sue the NCAA to keep its Fighting Sioux nickname.

Well, the other day, they found an ally.

GRAND FORKS, N.D., Nov. 1 (UPI) — The Spirit Lake tribe Tuesday sued the NCAA for blocking its attempt to let the University of North Dakota use the sports nickname Fighting Sioux.

Tribal attorney Reed Soderstrom said the lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court challenges the NCAA’s policy banning the use of Native American names and imagery by collegiate athletic teams.

He said the suit against the National Collegiate Athletic Association was brought on behalf of more than 1,004 members of the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe “in direct response to their attempt to take away and prevent the North Dakota Sioux Indians from giving their name forever to the University of North Dakota” despite a tribal vote in 2009 and a “sacred and religious spiritual ceremony” by tribal leaders in 1969 that granted “perpetual use” of the name to the school.

About damned time someone fought back against the PC bullshit.  Said it before, will say it again – who the Hell™ appointed these assholes to be our moral arbiters?

Let’s get to the football before we stuff ourselves silly.  Normally, this being Thursday, there’d be a Heights game – but Killeen took care of that, and I don’t have any other skins in this particular game (Sulphur Springs obligingly declined to be good enough to get past the area round of the playoffs); however, it’s Thanksgiving, so that means Cowboys-Cowboys-Cowboys, buddy (a little SportsRadio 1310-The Ticket lingo, there).

Today, it’s Miami at the Death Star – and, unlike 18 years ago, there’s no snow in the forecast, so there won’t be a repeat of Leon Lett’s blunder.  The Fins won the preseason finale in Miami; however, even though they’re playing better of late, it still shouldn’t be good enough to beat El Choko and the ‘Girlz.

Tomorrow, instead of chucking up a hairball against the Cyclones of Iowa State, 21st-ranked Nebraska will host Iowa’s other  major-college team at Lincoln – that being the Hawkeyes of Iowa.  Iowa hasn’t been great this year, so you’d think this should be a gimme.

Then again, so was Northwestern.

Bo’s boys are a 9½-point favorite at home, so let this one scare you a bit.

Speaking of Iowa State, they’ll be the sacrificial lamb at Norman on Saturday, as Bob Stoops’ ninth-ranked Sooners take their Baylor frustrations out on the Cyclones.  OU’s a 28½-point favorite at Memorial Stadium – this one’s gonna get real ugly, real fast.

Also Saturday, Bucky (having been plugged in for Arlington Heights) will get to feast on Nittany Lion at Camp Randall as Penn State comes calling.  Bucky’s a 15½-point favorite, and the rule is in place – they win, and it’s an automatic PFW, no matter what else happens.  Suffice to say, I like my odds.

In other games, it could be Turner Gill’s swan song as Rock Chalk gets hammered by Mizzou at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City.  Honestly, I don’t foresee KU bringing my old friend back for another year, do you?

And TCU is off this week – which is probably good news for BCS-chance killer Ross Evans, as he got himself in a bit of a legal dustup this past week.

TCU kicker Ross Evans faces a misdemeanor charge of criminal trespassing after he kicked in an apartment door while trying to retrieve a cellphone for a friend of a friend, Denton police said Monday.

Been nice knowing you, Mr. Evans.  Patterson should kick your ass off the squad yesterday.

We’re back Monday or so with the recap – Sunday, if I can get over my L-tryptophan hangover by then.  In the meantime…happy Thanksgiving, HDD.

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Those of you who have read me for any  length of time – well, you probably knew it was coming all along, didn’t you? – but you know damned well what this is.

For now, click the link.  Go ahead.  Click it.  I effin’ dare  you.

And turn it up.  Waaaaaay  up.    )

That’s right, sportz fanz:  It’s vacation time for His Rudeness™.  A chance to Get Away From It All™, as it were.

Thanks to Bambi & his shitty economy, though, Mrs. Venomous & I are staying in town and not doing a helluva lot, due to the money just not being there.

MRS. VENOMOUS:  Ohhhhhh, don’t worry, sweetie.  We’ll find plenty  of things to do. (wink)

VENOMOUS

Vicar, General – you guys have the conn.  General…when you’re done chlorinating the gene pool of Occutards down there in the Southern Command™, could I borrow another squadron of those black helicopters…? 

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One.

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On a rerun of the program Gene Simmons Family Jewels, I have just overheard Gene saying he was responsible for developing the careers of the group Pet Shop Boys.

Reaction:  Oh, shit – you mean it’s all his  fault? 

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If this bastard is that good…then explain Kansas State, A&M, Oklahoma State and Rock Chalk.

Arlington Heights 25, Killeen 60 (Area round, AHHS eliminated)

at #19 TCU 34, Colorado State 10

#5 Oklahoma 38, at #22 Baylor 45

#16 Nebraska 17, at #18 Michigan 45

Dallas 27, at Warshington 24 (OT)

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Two.

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Three.

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Four.

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