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Proving once again that she’s good for one thing, and one thing only

President Obama’s job approval is down with many Americans – but not with Eva Longoria.

{…]

Longoria, who told Kimmel she knows Obama well from her advocacy work on Latino issues, said she took advantage of her time with the President to tell him that he has her support.

“He’s been governing in, like, a state of emergency since the time he went into office,” said Longoria, who added that “we haven’t really seen him do what he can do.”

She also took the opportunity to slam what she called “an extremist movement happening” that threatens to derail the commander-in-chief.

Longoria called the movement “very dangerous because it’s not the character of America.”

The actress didn’t mention the Tea Party by name but when Kimmel asked her specifically about the conservative group she said she can see how it might be “a source for good comedy.”

Yeah, just like we can see how you might be good for – oh, I dunno – porn…?

Cupid Stunt™.

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Denizens, in this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™, we’re going to integrate the lead-in with the actual schedule.

My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have the Eastern Hills Highlanders (Highlanders?  There can be only one, y’know) tonight at Farrington.  It’s yet another Thursday game for the Jackets, who play six of their ten games this year on Thursday night.

Memo to the FWISD’s athletic department:  They call it “Friday  Night Lights” for a reason, y’know.

Anyway, Eastern Hills will be a tougher test for Heights, but not one they can’t handle.  That is, unless they start gaping at the drill team up in the stands.  Yowzah.

MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):  KA-BONGGGGGG!!!!!

…uh, ow. 

Saturday, 20th-ranked TCU finally learns whether it’s learned anything from the torching that Baylor’s (hack, spit) Donna-McCrabbs-wannabe, ARRRR GEEEE THREEEE!!!!1!!ONE!!11!, gave them.  They’re at home against the Shitland Ponies of Stan & Muffy University, good ol’ SMUT, who like to throw the ball all over the lot.

TCU’s not a lock for this one (don’t let the -13 in the Vegas odds fool you), so don’t be surprised if I’m in a very  snarly mood come Monday.

Oklahoma’s reward for handling Mizzou at home last Saturday?  A drop to the number-two ranking, behind Swamp Gas U. out in Baton Rouge.  (Memo to the AP:  Mizzou’s better than West Virginia, mkay?  I like LSU okay, but they do not  deserve to be number one.)

Anyway, Stoops’ crew will take out their frustrations on Ball State, who comes to Norman to be a sacrificial lamb (Vegas is giving them 38, and that’s not gonna be near  enough).  Expect the second team early in this one.

Bo Pelini’s eighth-ranked Nebraska Cornuskers have it toughest of all.  They get to go to Camp Randall Stadium to play seventh-ranked Bucky.  I’d pay money to go see this one.

Bucky’s a 9½-point favorite here, which is sort of an insult to the Huskers.  Field goal decides this one.

Sunday, Nick Fairley makes his debut in the Detroit defensive line.  Right next to Ndamukong Suh.  And Kyle Vanden Bosch.

And it would  be against Dallas.  (sigh)  Sorry, sportz fanz – the Cowgirlz don’t win this one.

Elsewhere, Turner Gill’s swiss-cheese secondary gets roasted, as Texas Tech comes a-calling to give Rock Chalk a royal spanking.  Vegas is being generous – they’re only favoring Tech by 6½.  Mheh.

We’re back Monday with the recap.  And I’m kinda glad HDD isn’t around right now – he might wanna put money on Husker-Bucky…

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Y’know, Denizens, I had  been wanting to associate myself with the Tea Party.  I mean, what’s not to like?  We both think we’re overtaxed, we both want government to return to conservative, Constitutional principles, we both want a conservative in the White House…right?

Right?

Wellllllll, not so fast there, Sparky.  Looks like the Tea Party – at least, the organized  one – has jumped the shark.

After last Thursday’s debate, in which both Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich outshone both of the purported frontrunners, the question of whether primary Republican voters will choose their nominee according to conventional wisdom as to what makes a candidate electable or according to personal preferences and conservative principles has been (somewhat) reopened.

Well, I don’t know about Cain.  I think that was a case of Big Dickhead Perry shooting himself in the foot, combined with the fact that Mittens isn’t going to get elected dogcatcher in FLA.

But Ms. Korbe, if you think Newt Gingrich can outshine a black hole, I’ve a bridge I wanna sell you.

Anyway, continuing on…

But Cain’s surprise upset in the Florida straw poll this weekend was a forcible reminder that Perry and Romney aren’t technically alone in the race — and that Republicans are willing to reassert preference and principle in symbolic ways, at least. In that vein, Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips recently endorsed eloquent debater Newt Gingrich.

That would be the Gingrinch that sat on the couch with San Fran Nan Pig-lousi.  That would be the Gingrinch that sided with Bambi on Bambicare.  That would be the Gingrinch that called us “right-wing social engineers”.  And he included you  in that, Juddy baby.

And that’s who you want to see as President.

G’night, Tea Party.  Be sure to run over a few cacti in your slide to oblivion, hm?

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Quick, who’s the best kicker on the Cowboyz’ roster?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Buehler?

Uh, no. 

Arlington Heights 41, Trimble Tech 0

at #20 TCU 55, Portland State 13

at #1 Oklahoma 38, Missouri 28

#9 Nebraska 38, at Wyoming 14

at Dallas 18, Washington 16

When you give up a 61-yard touchdown pass, then get your punt blocked on the next possession for another TD, it’s gonna be a long night.

This one was over early.  Heights led 27-0 at the end of one.

Mizzou gave OU a major scare, going up 14-3 before OU scored 28 straight over the first three quarters.  Landry Jones was 35-48-448 & three touchdowns, all to Ryan Broyles.

Dominique Whaley led the Sooner ground attack with 68 yards.

All-Everything defensive tackle Jared Crick didn’t play against Wyoming.

Didn’t need him.  The Huskers easily handled the Cowboys.

Nebraska scored the first 17 points of the second half, led by Rex Burkhead and his 170 yards on the ground.  Taylor Martinez was 12-21-157 and one TD.

The Cowgirlz’ offensive line is just that – offensive.  It flat-out can’t poke holes in Swiss cheese.  They are  better pass-blockers than last year, but that ain’t saying much – and since they can’t run, it still leaves Dallas as a one-dimenstional team

The starting receivers are banged up – and they’re still  faster than the backups.  Needless to say, no one’s getting much separation.

The areas where Dallas is performing well is the defense & the kicking game – and that’s what saved them last night.  Sean Lee picked off a pass, Anthony Spencer caused a fumble (which Lee recovered), and rookie Dan Bailey (Oklahoma State) kicked six field goals to lift the ‘Boyz to victory.  (Little Davey Buehler was out with an injury.  Can anyone say “Wally Pipp”?)

The last one was rather sweet, as a 30-yard Romo pass to Dez Bryant victimized DeAngelo Hall, who’d been crowing all last week about how he was gonna target Romo’s ribs.  Hall’s 15-yard facemask penalty provided the range that Bailey needed to kick the winning 40-yarder.

Wonderful sense of schadenfreude there, y’know?

Oh, and Bucky rolled at home over S. Dakota, 59-10.

This week:  5-0.  Perfect Football Weekend achieved (2).  Overall:  17-2.

The PFW will return Thursday, when we’ll have a minor gripe against the Fort Worth ISD’s athletic department.

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http://www.abdulhassanforpresident.com/fec/

[...]
On July 5, 2011, presidential candidate Abdul K. Hassan asked the United States Federal Elections Commission to issue a ruling as to his rights and obligations under the various federal election laws including the Federal Election Campaign Act (“FECA”). After an open meeting on September 1, 2011, during which the issues were intensely deliberated, the FEC unanimously voted (6-0) the next day. The FEC ruled that I can run for President and can solicit and receive contributions.
[...]

As I understand, Mr. Hassan was born in Guyana,

Also, consider this:
http://www.abdulhassanforpresident.com/

[...]
As a naturalized American citizen, the natural born provision of the Constitution prevents me from becoming President. However, in my view, this prohibition has been trumped by the equal protection guarantee of the Fifth Amendment of the Constitution which prohibits the sort of national origin discrimination that is contained in the natural born provision.
[...]
It is also my view that the Citizenship Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, in essence, placed naturalized and natural born citizens on equal footing and in so doing, abrogated and trumped the discrimination against naturalized citizens that is contained in the natural born provision.
[...]

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Oh, this  is choice.  Check out this headline (h/t Drudge):

Greek default would destroy faith in Europe: Merkel

Faith?  What  faith?

“We need to take steps we can control,” Merkel said, drawing a parallel between the Greek situation and that of Lehman, whose bankruptcy helped trigger the global financial crisis.

“What we can’t do is destroy the confidence of all investors mid-course and get a situation where they say that if we’ve done it for Greece, we will also do it for Spain, for Belgium, or any other country. Then not a single person would put their money in Europe anymore.”

What I wanna know is:  what fool is throwing money into that  socialist hellhole?

Seriously.  If you’re hemorrhaging money into that  pit, come see me.  I can put that money to far  better use.

I need a 2012 Mustang.  Convertible.  Black.  With a DVD/Blu-ray player.

C’mon.

Hell, I’ll even give you one of my t-shirts for your trouble.

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Denizens, this week’s Perfect Football Weekend gets rolling with Yet Another Reason Why I Call Them The New York Football Douchebags™.

Early on Monday night, the St. Louis Rams were going all LA-Laker-Showtime on the D-bags, running them ragged with a no-huddle offense.  The NFC East’s resident pussies couldn’t cope, and were faced with having to find a way to slow things down.

Enter the “injury bug”.  (And yes – I’m using sneer quotes for a reason.)

The St. Louis Rams looked sloppy and disjointed in Monday night’s 28-16 loss to the New York Giants.

Some of that, the Rams claimed Tuesday, was due to some Giants defenders apparently feigning injury to disrupt St. Louis’ offensive tempo.

“They couldn’t get subbed, they couldn’t line up,” Rams quarterback Sam Bradford said. “Someone said, ‘Someone go down, someone go down,’ so someone just went down and grabbed a cramp.”

Rams coach Steve Spagnuolo said the team has notified the league office.

“That’ll go on the list of things we’re going to send in,” Spagnuolo said. “I think the league is looking into it. I’ll let it run its course from that point of view.”

And, true to form, Roger Goodfella’s NFL – based in Noo Yawk – did precisely…dick.

The New York Daily News reported Wednesday that the Giants won’t be punished. An NFL spokesman told the newspaper that players can’t be punished for faking injuries unless they admit they weren’t really hurt — something no one on the Giants has said.

Gee, y’think?  I mean, it’s not like they don’t have a sort of home-field advantage in these matters.  Especially with a slick-lawyer/mobster-type excuse-for-a-commissioner protecting them, huh?

So let Bwandi Jackoff, Justin “Just A Fuck” Tuck, Osi Piss-n-urine and the rest of the New York Football Douchebags try to brag about how tough they are.  St. Louis & the rest of the NFL know better.

On to the games. My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have the green-and-white-clad Bulldogs of Trimble Tech tonight at Farrington (the home field).  Tech can be up or down, but I tend to think Heights won’t have too much problem with an outfit that let Carter-Riverside score a touchdown last week.  Gimme the Jackets in a comfortable win.

Saturday, Gary Patterson’s 20th-ranked Texas Chrstian Horned Frogs play yet another cupcake team in the Portland State Vikings of the Big Sky Conference (and from what I can tell, they’re a Division I-AA school trying to wear Division I-A clothing).

You’d think that the Frogs could destroy these guys with the third-stringers – Vegas doesn’t even have a line on the game – but then, they should’ve had an easier time with LA-Monroe, so who knows?

Also Saturday, Bob Stoops’ top-ranked Oklahoma Sooners begin Big XII XI X XII conference play against Missouri up in Norman.  Vegas has the Sooners as a 21½-point favorite – which sounds about right, except Mizzou’s passing game seems to always to give OU fits.  Jimmy Stevens may have to win this one with his toe.

Bo Pelini’s ninth-ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers get one more week off before starting their own Big 10 11 12 10 conference schedule, as they travel to Laramie, Wyoming, to take on the Cowboys.  Vegas has the Huskers as a 23½-point favorite, and I really don’t expect it to be that close.  Gimme the Huskers and you can have whatever you want.

And are you ready for some football?  A Monday night party?  We’ll have Jon, Ron & Mikie at the Death Star Monday night as the Dallas Cowgirlz host the Warshington Foreskins, featuring…Rex Grossman?

MERLIN:  Y’mean John Buck still  hasn’t beaten that turd out for the QB job?

VENOMOUS:  Well, they’re 2-0, so who’m I to judge?

Terrance “Bust” Newman should be back for this one, so we’ll have our starting corners in the game for the first time all year.  Given that Warshington seems to have recreated the old Smurfs receiving corps, that’s probably a good thing.  (Personally, I want to see Sean Lee go upside the head on Chris Cooley one time.)

We’re back Tuesday for the recap.  In the meantime, Kansas is guaranteed not to lose this week (they don’t play) and there’s not even a line on Bucky-South Dakota, so my question for HDD is…do you let the scout teamers take on these guys?

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My teams seems to have developed this disturbing trend of showing up extremely late for games before coming through at the end.

MERLIN:  Maybe they’re taking after you…?

VENOMOUS:  Aww hush, you.

MERLIN

Arlington Heights 14, OD Wyatt 7

at #23 Texas Christian 38, Louisiana Monroe 17

#1 Oklahoma 23, at #5 Florida State 13

at #10 Nebraska 51, UWashington 38

Dallas 27, at San Transsexual 24 (OT)

Wyatt’s on an up year, I think. They managed to hold Heights until the fourth quarter, harassing Omar Valadez into four fumbles & a pick, but the Jackets came back late.

The Yellow Jackets seemed destined to fall after Valadez fumbled for the fourth time with 4:39 left, but Wyatt gave the ball right back. Arlington Heights drove the deciding 31 yards on two runs from Valadez, who also threw a touchdown pass in the first quarter.

Well, at least Bo finally admitted it was about revenge.

“I would hope our football team took personal what happened out in San Diego, losing that football game,” Pelini said. “End of the day, we all wanted a win. I don’t care what the score is.”

The game was tight going into the third, but shot themselves in the foot in the third quarter.

The Huskies gave Nebraska a short field when Desmond Trufant was penalized 15 yards for interfering with Burkhead as he tried to catch a punt, and they were charged another 5 yards for sideline interference.

Nebraska started at its 44 and ran on seven of eight plays before Burkhead bulled into the end zone from the 1.

The Huskers were set up at the Washington 1 second later. Bishop Sankey dropped the kickoff, and teammate Kevin Smith couldn’t come up with the ball as a horde of Huskers converged. Mathew May recovered, and Burkhead punched it in for his second touchdown in 9 seconds.

UWarshington came back a bit and gave it a fight, but couldn’t stop the Huskers in the fourth when they needed to.

For once, the Sooners survived an 11-on-18 travesty.

Florida State was being allowed to literally mug Sonner wideouts & backs, whereas when a pair of OU defensive backs knocked a ‘Nole receiver out cold on a legal hit, they got flagged.

But Javon Harris grabbed a couple of picks, and Kenny Stills grabbed a 37-yard TD pass from Landry Jones (18-27-199-1TD-2INT) to ice the game.

TCU sleep-walked through the first half.  And Gary Patterson was none too happy over it.

After TCU players heard from an irritated coach Gary Patterson at halftime, they quickly took it out on Louisiana-Monroe.

[...]

“He was pretty intense,” quarterback Casey Pachall said. “He got after all of us in there; we had to step it up.”

They did.

Greg McCoy returned the second-half kickoff 94 yards for a touchdown, and the TCU defense came up with a big play right after as the 23rd-ranked Horned Frogs finally took control in a 38-17 victory that was Patterson’s 100th win as head coach.

After that, the Frogs finally realized they were playing the school formerly known as NE Louisiana, got pissed off and shut them down.

After McCoy’s TD return, Warhawk running back Jyruss Edwards coughed up the ball to DJ Yendrey deep in Hawk territory, leading to Matthew Tucker’s 1-yard plunge for a 35-17 lead.  Ross Evans would get lucky and make a field goal for the final margin.

Still don’t like Romo much.  But credit where credit’s due – that was a gutsy performance Sunday.

Romo suffered not only a cracked rib during the game, but a collapsed lung as well.  Corlos Rogers nailed Romo in the backside, driving him from the game and bringing on Jon “Pick!” Kitna.

J-Kit did throw a touchdown to Miles Austin – one of three he caught on the day – but also a couple of picks, one leading indirectly (read:  on the next play) to San Transsexual points.

Having seen enough, Romo came back in and led the Cowboys to a tie on the last play of regulation.

After stopping the Whiners near their 40, Romo found Jesse Holley streaking up the right seam, and hit him in stride to the 1.  Dan Bailey nailed the game-winner after earlier clanking one off the right upright.

As for Bucky & Kansas?

Well, Bucky destroyed Northern Illinois, 49-7, on the strength of Russell Wilson’s 23-32-347 day.  (A Wisconsin QB who passes?!  Uh, oh.)

Rock Chalk, OTOH…(sigh).

Now you know why I don’t want them in the PFW.  I wanna actually have a chance to say…

This week:  5-0.  Perfect Football Weekend achieved (1).  Overall:  12-2.

The PFW will return Thursday, when we’ll pontificate once again on why the New York Football Douchebags are fucking pansy-asses.

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Got this from an old Fido friend, Seanette Blaylock, who in turn go it from someone else! :)

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the US Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These southern boys will be dropped in Afghanistan knowing only these facts about terrorists: 1. Hunting season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music, John Wayne or Jesus. 5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt. The Pentagon expects the problem to be over by Monday!

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Hey denizens, it’s the General checking in.

Sorry I’ve been absent of late but there’s been more pressing items that have needed my attention. One being some threatening wildfires that breached the 25-mile perimeter markers on the northeast side of the base and then last week another one that breached the 20-mile perimeter markers on the southwest side.

All is well now due to what appears to be some sort of “extreme condensation particulate” falling from the sky. The R&D folks have been testing this “condensation” but as of yet they have not reported their findings. Most of the general populace are befuddled as my R&D staff appears to be, but luckily no major incidents have been reported.

Please continue to pray, and if possible, support, those affected by the major wildfire in Bastrop, TX. The last count showed well over 1,000 homes were lost. With another 400 or so in the wildfires here closer to home. These families are in need of something we as Americans always know what to do, and do it best…..a helping hand. Texans are a strong lot, we will recover. We will bounce back. It may take some time, but it will happen.

Flags here on base are ay half-mast today as this marks the one-year anniversary of the Generalette’s father’s passing. Her sadness is tempered by the fact that the long-awaited remodeling of the master bathroom at the General’s residence has now commenced. The Generalette and myself spent several glorious hours last weekend demolishing various aspects of said bathroom and our chosen contractor has begun the process of putting things back together per our design requirements just today. Completion should only take 2-3 more days.

Other minor issues continue, but there are the stuff of daily life here at the Southern Command. Now if I can just nail down that Darth character long enough to inform him to quite taking artistic liberties with what my Public Affairs staff discloses things will be much calmer…

I’ve just been handed a report hot off the laser printer over in the R&D office. They can now confirm that the “extreme condensation particulate” falling from the sky is (or was) common rain. Their report states that due to the lack of recent empirical evidence to refer back to, the testing of the material had to shift to a spectographical nature under extremely controlled conditions. They did mention in the report also that the testing was aided by the seemingly abundant amount of test material and the broad geographic locations from where test samples could be gathered from. This report has eased the nerves of the entire base population, and the kids seemed to enjoy it as well.

ThatIsAll™

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Denizens, we start off this somewhat-late edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™ with the ultimate in offensive stra-tee-gery (a little Rush lingo, there):  Don’t let your opponents have the ball.

Because of the great variety in high school sports, it’s exceedingly rare that a statistic pops up that is nearly unfathomable. Yet, in a much ballyhooed Arkansas matchup between perennial power Little Rock (Ark.) Pulaski Academy and Cabot (Ark.) High, one figure in particular jumped off the page: Pulaski led the game 29-0 before Cabot ever ran a play.

[...]

After winning the opening coin toss, Pulaski drove down the field for a touchdown. Immediately following the score, the Bruins lined up to kick off … and used an onside kick. Moments later, the team was back in the end zone, celebrating another touchdown. As Pulaski lined up for another kickoff, it would have seemed almost unthinkable that it try another onside kick. It did, and it recovered it again, and scored again.

Guess what happened next? Another onside kickoff, another recover and another touchdown. After only 4:25 had elapsed, the then-No. 99 team in the RivalsHigh 100 led 29-0.

Quickly on to the football.  My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are taking on OD Wyatt even as I type this.  It’s raining here right now, so it’ll be a contest to see who can hang onto the ball.

Tomorrow, Gary Patterson’s 23rd-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs have their home opener against Louisiana-Monroe.  This probably should’ve been TCU’s Game 1 on the schedule – and, if it had been, with the Froggies getting all the kinks out of their game early on, I don’t think we’re talking about ARR GEE THREE  and the rest of Baylor’s stupid-assed little cubbies.  Heed the word, Gary.

The Toadies are a 31-point Vegas favorite, and I doubt it’ll be that close, unless backup QB Matt Brown plays the fourth quarter.

Tomorrow night, Bob Stoops will take his top-ranked Oklahoma Sooners down to Tallahassee, Fla, to play the Seminoles.  While Fla State got blown out in Norman last year, the game the swamp is pretty much a tossup to Vegas (OU -4).  Basically, the longer the ‘Noles hang around, the worse OU’s prospects.

Also tomorrow, what should  be a classic revenge game takes place tomorrow in Lincoln, as Bo Pelini’s 10th-ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers take on the UWarshngton Huskies.  If I’m Bo, I’m reminding my Huskers of the Holiday Bowl last year, when Widdle Jakie Fucker Focker Locker, aka “Ryan Leaf without the talent”, basically embarrassed them.

Doubt Bo will, though – last year’s outburst during that game has pretty much neutered him, and he’s likely on a short leash with NU’s brass.  I’ll settle for the 17½ points by which Big Red is favored.

Sunday, the Dallas Cowgirlz are in San Transsexual to try and keep from getting buggered by the FairyWhiners.

Now, I hate to say that this is a “must-win” game for the ‘Girlz – primarily because last year, they found themselves in just such a situation against Shit-cago, having just lost a game they should  have won against Warshington – they started off well enough, but after Da Bears figured out their blitz package, essentially ripped Dallas apart.

And if you think last  week was embarrassing, imagine what it’ll feel like to lose to Alex “Bust” Smith and the FairyWhiners’ “offense”.  No West Coast Offense this, it does well enough to keep out of its own way.

I expect Dallas to get torched.

I’d put Kansas in this week, but they’re at Georgia Tech, and the Ramblin’ Wreck is a 15-point favorite at home, and I just don’t trust Rock Chalk that well yet.

We’re back Monday with the recap.  In the meantime, Northern Illinois’ reward for playing the Jayhawks close last week…is to get mauled at home by Bucky.  My question to HDD, therefore, is:  Only  a 17-point favorite?

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Looks like Malicious Malkin is having a little trouble handling the flak she’s rightly getting for her continuous kvetching about Rick Perry.

(UPDATE:  You might be thinking that it’s no big deal that ol’ Malicious comments in her own thread.  Unless you’ve been reading her for a while, and realize that she hardly ever  comments in her threads, much less leaves a second  one – like this was.)

In response to this comment

On September 15th, 2011 at 4:18 pm, theporch said:

I have been reading Michelle’s site for several years now. Seems like she has nothing good to say about any of the Republicans running for office. It seems she is wanting to ensure that obummer gets reelected in 2012. I have in the past, almost exclusively agreed with Michelle but something has changed. She seems to have changed. I have come to the conclusions that she has become very bitter. Sorry Michelle.

…ol’ Malicious bleated the following:

Where do you see “bitterness” in the post above?

It’s all over the fucking post, Malicious, and if you could see what you’ve become from the standpoint of…say…eight months ago, when your little cousin Marizela disappeared…you’d be shocked.  Hell, I’m surprised you haven’t yet accused Rick Perry of having been complicit in that disappearance.

But that’s coming, I’m sure.  Give it time.

I made a carefully thought out argument against appeals to emotion as a governing tactic, while at the same time acknowledging that we all have personal stories about the ravages of cancer.

No, you didn’t.  You as much as said, “Hey, lookit me, Rick!  I can ante up with the human interest story, too!!!  And at least I  didn’t try to force Gardasil down my  brother-in-law’s or best friend’s throat, you Hitleresque monster!!!!!1!!ONE!!!1!!ELEVENTYTHOUSANDTEEN!!!!!1!~

As for detecting some kind of “bitter” tone on my blog:

Yeah, skank – “bitter”.  As in, you hate Rick Perry, you’ve shown  you hate him, he’s the only Republican candidate you photoshopped, after  you ripped Newsweek’s Tina Brown a new one for doing the same thing to your honeygirl Michelle “When’d Elvis die again?” Bachmann, and you barely touched on yet another stupid-assed comment she made about Gardasil & mental retardation (h/t Misha).

In fact, you haven’t treated any of the other  GOP candidates that way – oh, but fucking hell no, there’s not one shred of bitterness  there, is there?

I invest considerable research and time into every post, providing background links and citations and striving to be as honest, fair, and thorough as I can be. I try to give as much credit as is due to others. I provide a diverse mix of topics every day of the week.

Bullshit.

Bull.  Fucking.  Shit.

Pure, unadulterated, 100%, non-biodegradable bullshit.

You decided early on that you hated Rick Perry, and have done nothing but provide “background links and citations” to support your festering hatred of him.

You were even pointed to a site that gave an even-handed analysis of what people were saying about Perry – but instead of giving any thoughtful consideration thereto, evaluating it for what it was and giving a heads-up-and-thanks to the author for going to all the trouble to do his  research, your  “honest, fair and through as I can be” response to it was this.

Nonsense. Where does that post “debunk” Perry’s trampling of the deliberative process, human shield demagoguery, any of the FACTS included in my column about fed CDC chairman’s own opposition to mandating Gardasil for school enrollment, key difference between communicable diseases like measles vs. STDS, or the disingenuousness of Perry’s so-called walkbacks.

That post doesn’t “debunk.” It makes excuses.

You haven’t been nearly  as “honest, fair and thorough” with Herman Cain, your honeygirl Bachmann, Ron the Paultard, Mittens Romney, Timmeh Pawlenty (of shit), or any of the other  Republican candidates.

Or, for that matter, candidate wannabes.  I’m still waiting for your hit piece on Sarah Palin and your photoshop of Donald Trump.

Guess I shouldn’t hold my breath, should I?

I mix serious posts with fun posts, timely topical news with cultural commentary, original reporting and aggregation.

No, you pretty much mix in some criticism of Bambi and snark about Moo-chelle the First Wookiiee with all your screeching about Rick Perry.

In fact, about the only humor on your half-assed electronic rag nowadays comes from…

Guest blogger Doug Powers adds stimulating and entertaining contributions while holding down a full time job with a family.

And here comes the straw blogger, right on time.

Really, Malicious, what was the point about even mentioning him, anyway?  What’s he got to do with your abject hatred of Rick Perry?  That is  what all your gaseous, nauseous bloviating has been about, isn’t it?

If all you want is GOP pep rallies, I invite you in the most non-bitter way possible, to please go somewhere else.

Y’know, I seem to remember some other blogger saying roughly the same thing.  What was his name again…Chavo…Chili…Chan…Chuckles…

Ah, yes!  Charles “Chuckles” Johnson, the guy that ran Little Green Snotballs into the ground.  You remember Chuckles, don’t you, Malicious?  How he started out as one of us, right after 9/11 – then, slowly, gradually came to the point where the conservative movement was anathema to him?

Where he turned on us, and started banning people left & right, ’til it was only him, Sharmuta, Kilgore Trout and a handful of retarded, liberal hangers-on?

That’s where you’re headed, Malicious.  When Perry gets the nomination, I fully expect anyone who says a decent thing about him on that rag of yours will find him/herself bounced in short order.

And I can’t say I’ll be terribly surprised.  That’s what happens when a self-important bimboid becomes consumed with irresponsible, irrational hatred.

Enjoy the screaming fit you have over President Perry, Malicious.  We conservatives will be laughing our asses off – all the way to the White House.

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So I guess now we know why Timmeh Pawlenty(of shit) didn’t have the stones to confront Mittens on Rombamacare in Massachusetts, huh?

Tim Pawlenty admitted tonight that he had erred by retreating from attacking Mitt Romney on “Obamneycare” during the debate Monday night.

“I should have been much more clear,” Pawlenty told Sean Hannity. “I don’t think we can have a nominee that was involved in the development and construction of Obamacare and continues to defend it.”

Yeah, well – it turns out T-Paw was harboring a secret man-crush on ol’ Mittens.

One month ago Tim Pawlenty was on a stage in Iowa debating against Mitt Romney, but today the former Minnesota governor – no longer in the presidential race – became a national co-chair for Romney’s campaign.

“Mitt Romney is fighting for the same things I fought for as governor and during my campaign for president,” Pawlenty said today. ” As a former blue state governor, I appreciate what Mitt was able to do in Massachusetts. He created jobs and balanced his budgets without raising taxes – even with an over eighty percent Democrat legislature. That ability to get things done is what we need in our nominee.”

Modified Stockholm Syndrome, anyone?

Well, that’ll  put Mittens over the top, ayup.  What was Buttmunch polling when he dropped out – something like two, three percent?  That puts Rombo within sight of…Perry’s exhaust!  He’ll overtake ‘im Any Day Now™, I tells ya!

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That’s it.  Candace, you can have him.  I’ve had enough of that son-of-a-bitch.

Arlington Heights 52, Carter-Riverside 0

#25 Texas Christian 37, at Air Force 19

at #10 Nebraska 42, Fresno St 29

at Kansas 45, Northern Illinois 42

Dallas 24, at NY Jets 27

Well, Denizens?  What’d I Tell Ya™?  Heights with the expected squash over the Eagles.

Omar Valadez was 9-23, but for 124 yards.  Kameron Holmes & Abece Dorsey ran for 212 & 152 yards, respectively, as the Jackets ground out a total of 475 yards.

One of my best friends called it one of the worst quarters in Cornhusker history.  It ended with the score Fresno 14, Nebraska 7.  And in the fourth quarter, the Bulldogs were just there, hanging around, trailing by two, and threatening to make NU fans start calling for Bo Pelini’s head.

Enter Ameer Abdullah.

The Nebraska freshman returned a kickoff 100 yards for a touchdown after Fresno State made it a two-point game in the fourth quarter, and the 10th-ranked Cornhuskers went on to win 42-29 Saturday night.

“We had a couple previous kick returns that were almost there,” Abdullah said. “So we perfected the blocks and wedge. Coach said I had to make a move and make a play. It was the turning point of the game.”

This would have been an easy one for Kansas to lose.  And in fact, they were trailing with five minutes to go in the game.

But after a great kickoff return by B.J. Beshears, Jordan Webb led Rock-Chalk on a 47j-yard touchdown drive, kitting Beshears from the six with 0:09 left.

I foresee another Executive Decision™ in KU’s future.  (Probably with a SpatulaLine™, but still.)

Their secondary is still terribly suspect.  And a better game plan by Air Force would’ve exploited it – one heavy on the play-action pass, I think.  Even so, the Falcons rolled up 416 yards on the Horne-Frogs.

Nevertheless, Casey Pachall had a better game, going 20-25-206 and no turnovers, and the tandem of Matthew Tucker & Wayman James led a 204-yard ground attack.

At one time, I was Toni Romo’s staunchest ally.  I was screaming  for him to replace Drew “Statue” Bledsoe.  I saw the potential, the savvy, the ability to make incredible plays out of nothing.  I still remember the snap that went over his head vs. St. Louis which bounced nearly to the Dallas endzone, whereupon Romo picked it up and ran about 40 yards for the first down.

We haven’t seen that quarterback in three years.  And at this point, I don’t think we’ll ever see that quarterback again.

A failure of Joe DeCamilis’ special teams (leading to a blocked punt for a touchdown) notwithstanding, this team was two touchdowns up at the start of the fourth quarter, and Romo pissed it away.  A fumble at the goal line, leaving at least three points on the ground, then an interception when his intended receiver was double-covered where he should  have thrown the ball out of bounds, pulled defeat right from the jaws of victory once again.

Rob Ryan’s defense, while giving up a few big plays, hounded Mark Sanchez all night long, forcing a couple of fumble and a pick.  That’s the best any Cowboy defense has played in a while, and it was exciting to watch – something else  we haven’t seen from the Dallas defense lately.

And Romo fucked it all up.

I’m done with the bastard.  As far as I’m concerned, Dallas can go 0-16 and draft Anderw Luck.  They aren’t going to go anywhere with this piss-poor excuse-for-a-quarterback.

In fact, don’t be surprised if the PFW starts counting Cowgirl losses as wins.

This week:  4-1.  Overall:  7-2

The PFW returns Friday, when we’ll talk about what should  be a revenge game – but probably won’t.

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