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Yesterday and today I have been at a conference called “Lutheranism and the Classics”. Among the pieces of trivia I picked up from miscellaneous conversation is the fact that in Great Britain, the Jedi religion is the fourth largest religion in the country.

Go figure!


Denizens, we have a problem over here.  Mrs. Venomous’ mom has passed on at the age of 87.

For the next little bit, I’m going to be incommunicado, trying to book passage to San Diego, arranging for lodging & transportation and whatnot.  As a result, the already-non-existant posting schedule I’ve been busting my ass (?) to maintain is dropping to zero.  There will be no Perfect Football Weekend™ posts for the foreseeable future, among other things (although I may post schedules & lines, if there’s time).

Keep the Mrs.’ family in your prayers, and thanks.

Vicar, General – as of now, you have the conn. I’ll let you guys know.


The Demoscum are crowing about how Bambi’s running away with Ohio.

Nice Deb thinks she knows why.

This information came at the very end of the Gravis Marketing/Capitol Correspondent Ohio 2012 Presidential Survey, but I’m going to go ahead and post it right up front:

Survey of 594 likely voters was conducted September 21-22, 2012. The margin of error is +/- 4.3 percentage points. Party ID: 41.4% Democrat; 31.1% Republican; 27.5% Independent/Other. Results from the poll conducted September 7-8, 2012 are in curly brackets. Results from the poll conducted September 2, 2012 are in square brackets. Results from the poll conducted August 27, 2012 are in parentheses.


Huh, indeed, as the Puppy Blender would say.


My teams are running like my car.

In slight need of a good tune-up.

at #17 TCU 27, Virginia 7

at #6 Oklahoma 19, #15 Kansas State 24

at #25 Nebraska 73, Idaho State 7

at Wisconsin 37, UTEP 26

at Liberty 26, Lehigh 28

at Dallas 16, Tampa Bay 10

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


Seems a small apology is in order.

Thursday, as you know, I…uh…had a little disagreement with a company called Chick-Fil-A.

KORRIOTH:  “Little”?

K’HADIBAK’H:  Yeah, and the Titanic only had a small problem with an ice cube.

MERLIN:  Sire, you never  do anything “little”.

OZY McCOOL:  I thought Titanic  was destroyed by an energy ribbon…?

[Korrioth smacks McCool upside the head, Gibbs-style.]

Naturally, the staff chimed in with an advisory that maybe, just maybe I should invoke the time-honored “48-hour rule” – let something sit for 48 hours before diving in with a rant.

And, as it turns out, they were right, and I was…was…wr…wr…w…

RAYEGUN:  C’mon, you can say it.

VICAR:  Really not that hard if you put your mind to it.

VENOMOUS:  …wr…wr…

THE SPATULAGODDESS:  Now, now, hon, you can do it, really.

…wr….wr………wr-not entirely accurate.

ALL:  (groan)


Anyway, as I found a couple days ago…and what Denizen & fellow blogger Alan K. Henderson later reiterated to me…Chick-Fil-A did not, in fact, cave in:

Contrary to reports first made by the gay-activist group The Civil Rights Agenda (TCRA) on Tuesday and later picked up by mainstream media outlets, Chick-fil-A and its charitable-giving arm, the WinShape Foundation, did not agree to stop making donations to groups that support the biblical definition of marriage in exchange for being allowed to open a franchise in Chicago.

“For many months now, Chick-fil-A’s corporate giving has been mischaracterized,” executives said in today’s statement. “And while our sincere intent has been to remain out of this political and social debate, events from Chicago this week have once again resulted in questions around our giving. For that reason, we want to provide some context and clarity around who we are, what we believe and our priorities in relation to corporate giving.

“A part of our corporate commitment is to be responsible stewards of all that God has entrusted to us. Because of this commitment, Chick-fil-A’s giving heritage is focused on programs that educate youth, strengthen families and enrich marriages, and support communities. We will continue to focus our giving in those areas. Our intent is not to support political or social agendas.

And this is where the “not entirely correct” aspect kicks in.  Chick-Fil-A has, in fact, given $$$$ to Focus on the Family  in the past.  Before I completely exonerate then, at least, I want to see them give to FotF again.  And I want to see the heterophobic community squeam (squeal/scream), screech & throw a temper tantrum over it.

For now, the boycott is lifted.  And I offer an apology to Donnie Cathy and the Chick-Fil-A management staff.  (And, if you’ll notice, the post in question has been scratched out.)

Provisionally so.  The folks at Focus  could probably use a few bucks…


So here’s a really good question posed by an apparent black Republican, as seen on the FB feed:

Am I expecting an answer from ANYONE in the Al-Obambi administration or campaign?

{crickets chirping loudly}

That’s what I thought. And so should you, cause that ain’t the “acceptable” type of question to ask this president (cough, cough, gag, gag).

Worthless piece of ….oh nevermind, it’ll just put me in another Grumpy General Mood™. As if one wasn’t enough.


No wait, since I’m already in grumpy mode…..



Denizens, as we start this episode of the Perfect Football Weekend, I am encouraged by what I see going on at the University of Tennessee.

The University has told a group of militant atheist douchetards to go pound sand.

Tennessee officials defended the pregame prayer ritual at Neyland Stadium, which has drawn protests from one group.

According to the Knoxville News Sentinel, in response to a letter from the Freedom From Religion Foundation urging Tennessee to stop its ritual of pregame prayer, University of Tennessee officials ruled there is no violation of the U.S. Constitution with the invocation.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation argues that it should be discontinued on the principle of separation of state and church.

First of all, I’ll say this for the 746,251st time:  The words “separation of church and state” do not appear in the United States Constitution.  Period.  End.  Stop.

Secondly, this tiny little gaggle of asshats is once again sticking its puny nose where it doesn’t belong, and is trying to horn itself in where it is neither needed, nor wanted.

Such tiny little gaggles, if you ask me (and you didn’t, not that I give a shit), should be taken out back and be severely horsewhipped.

If not ventilated, IYKWIMAITYD.

Let’s get on with the football.  I guaranteed you that my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets would not lose tonight.  And why is that, Wizard?

MERLIN:  Knowing you as I do, old friend, it’s because they do not play.

VENOMOUS:  Right you are, Wiz.  And watch it with the “old” part.

MERLIN:  Relax, m’liege.  You have my word that you shall not be peppered with the black balloons this annum.

Anyway, no – Heights doesn’t play.

But 17th-ranked (17th-ranked???) TCU does, and it’s another early start for Gary Patterson and the Froggies as they take on the Virginia Cavaliers in the return match from two years ago.  Virginia’s better now, and it shows in how Vegas rates the game – with the Tadpoles only an 18½-point home favorite (in previous years, this would’ve been 28, at least).  The Cavs will give the Purple & Black all it wants.

In addition, TCU will be without RB Waymon James for the remainder of the season, as he blew out his knee against Rock Chalk.  That  ain’t good.

It’s the Big XII opener for sixth-ranked Oklahoma as 15th-ranked Kansas State comes calling.  OU has not impressed anyone to start the season, so K-State’s only a 14½-point road dog.  This one does  come down to a field goal.

Bo Pelini’s Nebraska Cornhuskers, back in the Top 25 this week at No. 25, gets another serving of squash in the form of Idaho State.  Taylor Martinez might actually get a break in this game.

Bucky thinks  they’re getting a break when the UT-El Paso Miners visit Camp Randall.  But UTEP gave OU all it could handle, if you’ll recall – and though they’re on the road, I look for it to be a replay of the Utah State game.  (So does Vegas – Bucky’s only an 18-point favorite at home.  Ouch.)

Turner Gill’s Liberty Flames host Lehigh of the Patriot League this week.  Lehigh’s 3-0.  The SpatulaLine is set this week at 40.  That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

And on Sunday, the Dallas Cowgirls have their home opener against the Tampa Bay Bucs.  Doubtless the Bucs want revenge for the pasting Dallas gave them last year in Tampa.  And Vegas has decided to make the ‘Girlz a 7½-point favorite at home, so gimme El Choko and about 20.

We’re back Monday or so with the recap.  In the meantime, my question for HDD would be…think you  can coach Bucky’s O-line?


Damn.  Fuck.  Shit.  (And if the Vicar weren’t here, I’d say a helluva lot more than that.)

Chick-Fil-A just caved.

Chick-fil-A will no longer donate money to anti-gay groups or discuss hot-button political issues after an executive’s controversial comments this summer landed the fast-food chain in the middle of the gay marriage debate.

Executives agreed in recent meetings to stop funding groups opposed to same-sex unions, including Focus on the Family and the National Organization for Marriage, according to Chicago Alderman Proco Joe Moreno.


The agreement, announced Wednesday, could pave the way for the company to continue to grow not only in Chicago but in other metropolitan areas as well.

They won’t be doing so with any more of my  money.  Guaran-damn-fucking-teed.

Denizens, if you’ve read me for any  length of time, you’re perfectly aware of what I think about people (primarily Christians and/or conservatives) who take a stand for right in public, then back down from and/or apologize for said stand.

To me, it’s simple:  Do right, and fear no man.  Stand up for what you know to be the truth, and to Hell – literally – with those assclowns who would whine about it from behind the comfort & safety of their collective daddy’s pink taffeta hoop skirt.

And now, Chick-Fil-A has caved to a faggot-assed, heterophobic son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch Shit-cago alderman named Joe “Josephine” Moreno.  (Whom, if you ask me, should have a spiked titanium clue bad shoved right up his swishy ass.  On second thought, don’t – he might actually like  it.)

You’ve lost my business, Chick-Fil-A.  And my family’s.  And you’ve lost it permanently.


Felix “Bust” Jones is still on the Cowgirl roster.  This tells you everything you need to know about the franchise.

Arlington Heights 28, Brewer 31

#16 TCU 20, UKansas 6

at Nebraska 42, Arkansas State 13

at Wisconsin 16, Utah State 14

Liberty 14, at Montana 34 (Liberty covers SpatulaLine of 35)

Dallas 7, at Seattle 27

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


As Darth was mentioning here (or just look down one post), it seems that the Al-Obambi government is going to give in to Muslim Brotherhood controlled Egyptian government. You’ll likely not see this being talked about anywhere but here. Sure as HELL ain’t gonna see it on (P)MSNBC or the Clinton News Network. They’ll just blather on about how Their Savior is ahead in the polls, but conveniently forget to mention HOW they got those numbers (hint: they are BIASED in their polling).

But back to what I started on….let’s just say that the previous belief that the US government does not negotiate with terrorists has now officially been thrown out the window, under the bus, crapped on, and utterly OWS-ified. And if you HONESTLY believe (like the rest of the administration and lap-dog media) that the rioting that started on 9/11 ACTUALLY started in revolt of the YouTube video — have I got a sweet real estate deal that even includes a historical bridge. Price: dirt cheap! Heck, let’s just call it FREE even!!!!

Folks, this even has got those in the military seriously concerned about the “Bubba Effect” (don’t know that term — Google it, Bing it, use your preferred search vendor). It’s to the point where even the Southern HQ is making preparations. Crap is piling up at an alarming rate and the launchers are pointed directly at the proverbial ceiling fan. As Darth mentioned previously, the End Times seem to be getting closer. And FYI, in case you’re not up-to-speed on your study of Revelation….here’s a hint: The USA ain’t a player. AAMOF, we’re actually even a slave-nation for on of the other ten powerhouses. Don’t believe me, look it up for yourself.

If the State Dept. actually caves in and releases the sheikh (even if they stonewall until after the election), it’s going to be open season on more than just embassies and consulates over in the Middle East. Target #1 is going to be Israel, with us as an extremely close target #2. And with Obambi snubbing a head of state just to campaign on David Letterman, you can even wager that Israel ain’t real happy right now either.

Hey all you 52%-ers out there, this the “hope and change” you so vehemently voted for???

Bet not.

Here’s to praying that enough people have woken up and will do the right thing in November.



Uh, oh.

Battleships, aircraft carriers, minesweepers and submarines from 25 nations are converging on the strategically important Strait of Hormuz in an unprecedented show of force as Israel and Iran move towards the brink of war.

Western leaders are convinced that Iran will retaliate to any attack by attempting to mine or blockade the shipping lane through which passes around 18 million barrels of oil every day, approximately 35 per cent of the world’s petroleum traded by sea.

For those of you who have studied and are in the know, this means two conclusions can be reasonably drawn, given this and what’s happened with all the Muslim temper-tantrum throwing this past week:

1) Things are about to get real messy, real quick.  (Yes, even messier than they already were.)

2) It’s a good bet that Antichrist is already on Planet Earth.

Won’t be long now, I tend to think.


Denizens, if you’ll take a gander down the right sidebar, you’ll note that all the pics, etc, are back.  (Meaning, I finally got up off my lazy ass and changed a few links in the HTML coding – something the General was on me to take care of earlier this year.)

So I’m a lazy-ass.  Bite Sue me. 


Denizens, as we begin this week’s episode of the Perfect Football Weekend™, I wanna direct your attention to the following screenshot below.

Now, obviously I’m writing this before the game’s started (at least, I started  the post in the morning), and they have since changed it.  However…I took this screenshot on Tuesday.

Think maybe there’s something the Lame Stream Mediots™ at the Startlegram know, that I don’t?

Let’s get on with it.  It is my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets against the White Settlement (TX) Brewer hah skrewl  (a little Rush lingo, there) Bears right now as I continue to type this.  I have no idea how good Brewer is, except that they’ve kicked the shit outta both Trimble Tech & Western Hills the last couple o’ weeks.

Uh, oh.

Tomorrow morning, it’s an early breakfast for Gary Patterson and his 16th-ranked TCU Horned Frogs as they travel to Lawrence, KS, to face our old friends and former PFW targets, Rock Chalk.  And I was really  looking forward to this one – at least, until they canned Turner Gill.

KU has Charlie Weis now – and while he’s a good offensive coordinator and a decent enough head coach, he’s not all that great.  If he were, do you think Notre Dame would’ve ever gotten rid of him?

Still, Vegas has the Frogs as a 21-point road favorite – and I just don’t buy that.  Yes, TCU kicked the snot outta Grambling, and yes – Rock Chalk lost to Rice, of all people, at home.  Call it a “trap” game if you want – I just don’t have a good feeling about this one.

Speaking of Turner Gill, his Division I-AA Liberty U. Flames are on the road at Montana this week.  Montana beat S.Dakota State, but lost to Appalachian State (no shame there), so we’ll apply the SpatulaLine and ask Turner to keep it within, say, 35.

Also tomorrow, we’ll see if Bo Pelini’s Nebraska Cornhuskers can throw up something more than a matador defense against perennial powerhouse  (*cough*) Arkansas State.  (Then again, State may be the best team in  Arkansas at the moment.    )

Vegas has the Huskers as a 23½-point favorite at home, so look for it to come down to a Brett Maher field goal.

Bucky – that’s unranked  Bucky, for the first time in Cthulhu knows when – is home Saturday to take out all of their Oregon State frustrations on the Aggies of Utah State.  The Ags just got through upsetting BYU last week though (why anyone considers that an upset is beyond me – that program isn’t exactly headed in a northerly direction, y’know?), so this isn’t a gimme, although Vegas thinks they’re a solid 13½-point favorite at Camp Randall.  The Badgers need to get it in gear fast, though, so we’ll see what happens.

Sunday afternoon, it’s the Dallas C’girlz on the road to take on the Seattle Seahags.  Bucky’s own Russell Wilson starts now for the Seahawks, and word is that he’s a poor man’s ARRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

I disagree vehemently.  I think Wilson’s actually got some talent.

(Oklahoma gets a week off to finish digesting Florida A&M.  Burp.)

We’re back Monday or so for the recap.  In the meantime, HDD…how would you try & defend Russell Wilson?


Denizens, I was going to offer commentary on all the crap going on in Egypt and the rest of the Middle East, but Misha has it all covered.

Well worth your time, go and read, ThatIsAll™.


(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.  It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


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