Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________





During Green Bay’s last drive against Cincinnati on Sunday, Packer quarterback Brett Favre dropped back to pass as the play was blown dead.

Without warning, a Bengals fan, who had somehow made his way onto the field unnoticed, sneaked up behind Favre and stripped the ball from Favre’s grasp; he then sprinted away, hands held high clutching the ball, chased by Security.

My question:  Why wasn’t this asshole obliterated by whatever team was on the nearest sideline???

Arlington Heights 21, Trimble Tech 0
TCU 23, San Diego State 20
Oklahoma 31, Nebraska 24
LSU 56, North Texas 3
Dallas 34, Arizona 13

Arlington Heights punched its ticket to the playoffs by shutting out the Bulldogs.  They’ll get either Birdville or Azle in two weeks.

The surprise of the weekend was that North Texas got any points at all on Bo Pelini’s defense.  The Tigers basically played reserves the entire game against the Eagles – not that it mattered…

OU-Nebraska was every bit the classic it used to be.  Punch.  Counterpunch.  Left.  Right.  Body blow after body blow.

OU jumped out to a 21-3 lead, then barely stayed ahead of the Huskers as they mounted an hellacious comeback.

Adrian Peterson finally returned to something resembling his form after fighting through an ankle injury for several weeks.  He proved that the Sooners are a lot better team when he’s close to healthy.

TCU went up 23-13 on the San Diego State Aztecs late in the fourth on a Chris Manfredini field goal after TCU’s defense had intercepted Aztec quarterback Kevin O’Connell in the endzone with just over nine minutes left.  Then kicker Peter LoCoco came through with yet another of his “why is this moron still on the team” moments, putting the subsequent kickoff out of bounds and setting up San Diego State on the 40.  The Aztecs scored 90 seconds later.

After recovering the ensuing onside kick, a tough Robert Merrill run on third down just barely netted the first down and secured the Frog win.

TCU now plays for the Mountain West conference championship next week vs. Colorado State.

This was not nearly as big a win as the local pundits were saying it was supposed to be.  Still, I’ll take it – particularly since it netted me my second PFW in three weeks.

Bledsoe was 19 of 24 for 220, and rookie Marion Barber III ran the rock 27 times for 127 yards – the first Dallas back to eclipse the century mark this year.

Julius who?

Anthony Henry picked off one Josh McCown pass and ran it back for a touchdown before leaving the game late with an injury.  Dallas’ defense sacked McCown three times.

It was good for a much needed Dallas win going into the bye week – and another much-needed Perfect Football Weekend.

The PFW will return Friday for another shot at two in a row.

_____________________________________________________





(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess)

foamy
You are Foamy.
Congratulations, you are a rage filled squirrel who
spouts his views at any given moment. You know
what you like, (bagels with cream cheese) and
what you don’t. (everything else) Chill out
before you give yourself an ulcer.

Which Neurotically Yours (Foamy) Character are you???
brought to you by Quizilla

I can hear you guys now:  You’re filled with rage,  Spats???  Nawwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

_____________________________________________________





Usually, Denizens, I open up my weekly PFW preview post with a football-related story.

I’m going to break from that tradition today with a comment on this travesty of justice that a fucktard named Patrick Fitzgerald has foisted upon the American people.

(Probably a good thing, since I was about to get wound up on how butt-ugly the Virginia Teck Hokies’ uniforms have become.)

More »

_____________________________________________________





(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess)

This is something I really  didn’t need to know.  Mithter Thulu Mister Sulu has come out of the closet.

Or rather, as he tells editor Alexander Cho, “It’s not really coming out, which suggests opening a door and stepping through. It’s more like a long, long walk through what began as a narrow corridor that starts to widen.”

Funny thing about those wide corridors, Georgie boy.  They don’t always wind up where you think they’re going to.

Just sayin’, is all.

_____________________________________________________





And it’s about fucking time, too.

More as I get it.

UPDATE:  Okay, Denizens – here’s more.  With my comments interspersed, of course. (grin)

Harriet Miers withdrew her nomination to be a Supreme Court justice Thursday in the face of stiff opposition and mounting criticism about her qualifications.

President Bush said he reluctantly accepted her decision to withdraw, after weeks of insisting that he did not want her to step down. He blamed her withdrawal on calls in the Senate for the release of internal White House documents that the administration has insisted were protected by executive privilege.

Oh, and I suppose that the ABJECT DESERTION OF HALF YOUR FUCKING CONSERVATIVE BASE had nothing to do with it, eh, President Linguinispine-ya, ya stupid goof?

“It is clear that senators would not be satisfied until they gained access to internal documents concerning advice provided during her tenure at the White House – disclosures that would undermine a president’s ability to receive candid counsel,” Bush said.

I think it’s more  clear that you’d be running the extreme risk of sacrificing ’06 and ’08 to the Demoscum.  It’s not like we have  to go to the polls and vote, y’know.

And unless you now nominate someone qualified  for the post, sir  – you still  run that risk.

“Harriet Miers’ decision demonstrates her deep respect for this essential aspect of the constitutional separation of powers _ and confirms my deep respect and admiration for her.”

More likely it demonstrates her innate ability to read the writing on the wall.  Even she  had a difficult time ignoring the obvious.

Miers told the president she was withdrawing at 8:30 p.m. Wednesday. In her letter dated Thursday, Miers said she was concerned that the confirmation process “would create a burden for the White House and our staff that is not in the best interest of the country.”

She noted that members of the Senate had indicated their intention to seek documents about her service in the White House in order to judge whether to support her nomination to the Supreme Court. “I have been informed repeatedly that in lieu of records, I would be expected to testify about my service in the White House to demonstrate my experience and judicial philosophy,” she wrote.

“While I believe that my lengthy career provides sufficient evidence for consideration of my nomination, I am convinced the efforts to obtain Executive Branch materials and information will continue.”

Yeah, Harriet, well – we don’t.  And this is what you get for basically being a Shrubya “trust me” nominee.

Bush wants us to trust him on judicial nominations, when he hasn’t shown us that he can  be trusted on things like this?

The source of our trust in Bush – indeed, the only reason why he won the ’04 election in the first place – is chiefly due to his handling of the War on Terror.  And since the Islamofucktard ragheads are still in Iraq exploding IEDs against our troops almost at will, and he’s never re-opened major combat operations in that theatre like he’s needed  to, his track record there hasn’t engendered as much trust as it should’ve.

Mr. President, you have one chance left, in this scribe’s view.  Botch this,  and you run the risk of throwing the Republican Party back into minority status.  For a long time to come.

Get your ass in gear and give us someone like Priscilla Owen or Janice Rogers Brown.  Don’t  fuck this up again.

Update the 2nd:  Those of you who question WorldNetDaily and Joseph Farah may want to note that Farah called this two weeks ago.

You guys probably owe Farah an apology.

_____________________________________________________





Well, I promised “more later”.

It’s now later.  Here’s more.

Those of you who know me know that I worked for the Orange Jack(ass) – that is to say, Cingular Wireless.

And yes – that’s worked  – as in past tense, as in “did, but not now”.

As you all know, Cingular bought out AT&T Wireless, which I lovingly (?) referred to as “the Death Star” (where I got that reference, I can’t remember, not that it matters right now).  You’ll recall that I lambasted the AT&T Wireless CIO (Chief Information Officer) royally for helping to put the company in that position.

(SIDE NOTE:  By no means is Chris Corrado solely responsible for the demise of AT&T Wireless – CEO John Zeglis and the rest of his trained monkeys played their part, certainly – but Corrado didn’t help things any.)

As a result of the buyout, we’d pretty much been casting our eyes upward at the imaginary guillotine hanging over our heads.  Two months ago today, that guillotine fell on my head.  My last day was yesterday.

Thus, a company that netted $222 million this last quarter alone can’t afford a $40,000 techie.

The Orange Jack(ass) is supposedly real big on its reputation – what other people think of them.  Here’s one guy who thinks Cingular’s reputation is dogshit.

So now I gotta go find a new gig.  Posting may or may not be sporadic, depending on interview schedules, casting résumés hither & yon, that sort of thing.

Stay tuned.

_____________________________________________________





Denizens, just a heads-up:  This is going to be a very  bad day for Your Hero.

More later.

_____________________________________________________





I should’ve known better than to trust my PFWs to those old, lame-assed retread quarterbacks known as “Bill’s guys”…

Arlington Heights 48, Polytechnic 7
TCU 48, Air Force 10
Oklahoma 37, Baylor 30 (2OT)
LSU 20, Auburn 17 (OT)
Dallas 10, Seattle Sea-hags 13

Memo to Coach Duke Christian:  Only  48-7?  Wyatt beat the shit out of those kids 70-3 last week, and the best you can do is 48-7?

Auburn contracted a case of LoCoco Syndrome – their kicker missed five field goal attempts, including one with less than a minute to go in regulation that would have won it for Auburn – then hit the upright on what would have been the tying FG in overtime to allow LSU to escape.

“About three of the kicks tonight, when I hit them I thought they were good. I got a little unlucky and they went right or left,” Vaughn said. “The last one tonight, I thought I hit it pretty good and when I looked up I knew I was probably going to need a little bit of luck right there.”

Oops.

Did I nearly call it, or what?  Baylor just about made a prophet out of me (pun semi-intended) in coming > < this close to beating OU.

That was how much a fourth-down pass from Shawn Bell missed his receiver's hands, else we still might be playing.

...

Guess I shouldn't have worried about TCU, huh?  Air Force kept it close for the first quarter and part of the second, but a punt block by TCU's Jesse Hejny set the Frogs up at the AF 21; four plays later, Jeff Ballard, after having hit Cory Rodgers with an 18-yard pass down to the one, sneaked in to give TCU a 21-10 lead with under five minutes to play in the first half.  Air Force didn't challenge from that point on.

...

I've seen enough of the Bill Parcells era.  I've seen enough of that fat-assed gym teacher and the old, dilapidated, half-assed retreads he brings in here to quarterback this team because they're "his guys".  I've seen enough of his three-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust offense where you can predict what his teams are going to run blindfolded.  And I’m SICK AND FUCKING TIRED of the asshelmeted excuses-for-quarterbacks that he brings in throwing away the (#%*_@!_!!!!!! game!!!!!

Once again, Billy-boy Parcells conjured up a close-to-the-vest game plan that refused to take advantage of an opponents’ depleted secondary. And once again, it bit him on his fat ass, thanks in large part to his fucking retread quarterback throwing the interception that led directly to the game-winning field goal for Seattle and that fat-assed fuckface of a coach, Mike Holmgren.

Third and four from the five, Bledsoe the Stiff-ass bootlegs right.  Makes it down to the two.  Fourth and one, quarterback sneak gets you the first, where you’d have four shots at the goal.

Parcells kicks the fucking field goal.  You go for the touchdown, you get it, you win the game.  You don’t get any points out of it, it’s not going to fucking matter anyway.

And a quick memo to Mike Zimmer and his sorry-assed defense:  FOOTBALL GAMES ARE SIXTY MINUTES LONG, YOU DUMBASSES!!!

The Cowgirls’ swiss-cheese defense lets the Seahags drive 89 yards down the field to tie the game in the last two minutes (after having held the Sea-hags to a field goal for the first 58), whereupon Bledsoe the Stiff throws an interception TO A FUCKING RESERVE CORNERBACK and lets him run 24 yards so that Josh Brown can kick a fucking 50-yard field goal with five seconds left to win the damned game.

If Jerry Jones wasn’t such a limp-wristed pansy, he’d have fired Bill Parcells on the spot in Seattle and made him walk his fat ass all the way back to fucking Noo Joisey.

As it is, this franchise won’t go anywhere as long as the Arkansas hick owns it.  Cowboy fans might as well get used to shitty football until Owner Jethro (hat tip:  Gil LeBreton of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram) decides he’s done playing with his toy.

The PFW will return Friday for another shot.

_____________________________________________________





Denizens, I think I may be coming around on Harriet Miers.

I mean if these assclowns are good enough for the Kansas Not-So Supreme Excuse-For-A Court, then Miers must not be such a bad nominee – right?

The Kansas Supreme Court on Friday unanimously struck down a state law that punished underage sex more severely if it involved homosexual acts, saying “moral disapproval” of such conduct is not enough to justify the different treatment.

And why the Hell™ not?  Are these fucksticks on the so-called “high court” of Kansas trying to revive the long-since-debunked meme that “you can’t legislate morality”?  Are they now going to invalidate every fucking law on the books, because they pretty much all involve “moral disapproval” of some kind or other?

More »

_____________________________________________________





Another week, another hurricane, another change in the NFL schedule.

Wilma’s bearing down on South Florida, so the NFL has rescheduled the Chiefs-Dolphins game for tonight at 7 p.m.  (Sadly, the game won’t be televised nationally, so I s’pose I’ll have to settle for college football on ESPN2 or somesuch.)

Oh, but here you’ve got Dick Vermeil, coach of the Chiefs (and a guy whom I’ve always believed was a couple cans shy of a six-pack), prattling on like it’s some big rubber-chicken-circuit-award-banquet-type honor:

“They couldn’t have picked a better team to send down there and play well,” said Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil, whose team will fly to South Florida on Friday morning. “That’s the way we’re approaching it. We’ll go down there and play our best football game of the year. The guys are in a good frame of mind. They accept it. We would have liked it to be a different way but we have no choice.”

That’s right,  Dickhead.  You don’t  have a choice – you’re scheduled to go down there, like it or not – so why are you going on and on like the NFL somehow decided to send you down there as some sort of Hurricane Wilma charity-benefit game?  What the Hell™  are you huffing on, son?

Sheesh.

On to this week’s games.  We’re on a roll now, having claimed a whopping one-in-a-row for Perfect Football Weekends, so now’s the time to capitalize. (Yeah, I know – like I had anything to do with it.)

My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets suffer the ignominy (sp?) of playing yet another Saturday afternoon game – this time against the Polytechnic (aka Poly – and again, I swear I’m not making this up) Parrots.  Poly, as you may recall, is Heights’ twin-brother school – the buildings are exact duplicates of each other. (Poly’s orange-and-black may even be a color-negative of Heights’ blue-and-gold – I dunno.)

Anyway, Poly’s even worse this year than they usually are.  They lost to O.D. Wyatt – a team Heights handled earlier in the year, 49-33 – by a whisker at 3-70.

Yeah – that’s Wyatt 70, Poly 3.

Coach Duke Christian, this had best be a squash.

Also Saturday, the Horned Frogs of 21st-ranked TCU travel to Colorado Springs to take on the Falcons of the Air Force Academy.  TCU can  win this game – but Air Force ain’t Army, and Army gave the Froggies all they could handle last week.  If TCU wins this game, it’ll be by less than four.

Saturday evening, Baylor travels to OU to take on the Sooners.  I hate to admit this – but Baylor could very well win this game.  They’ve improved, and the Sooners…well…

Sixteenth-ranked Auburn will travel to Baton Rouge to tangle with seventh-ranked LSU.  This is a game where you wish neither team had to lose – I like both these teams.  I’ll take LSU and give you ten, because I think Bo Pelini’s defense is starting to get it in gear.

Sunday afternoon, Dallas is on the road for a game with the Seattle Seahawks.  They’re starting to tout Dallas in the media as one of the favorites coming out of the NFC.

I wonder about that, since I saw both the Washington and Oakland games.  Granted, they handled Filthydelphia and turned back the New York Football Giants – but I don’t have a whole lot of confidence in this team yet.  Give me the Cowboys and six.

(Incidentally, just FYI, PFWs are measured in straight-up results.  We do not gamble in the Realm™ – particularly after the last time Ozymandias McCool cleaned up on Merlin.  We were three hours extracting that unicorn’s horn out of Ozy’s ass.  Wouldn’t have taken that long, except the unicorn was still attached, and, well… )

We’re back Monday for the recap.

_____________________________________________________





Yet another One-Legged Man™ day, Denizens, so here’s something else from the Grab-Bag.

Hopefully I’ll have time to launch the PFW tomorrow. (sigh)

High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

NEW – Different color from previous design
ALL NEW – Parts not interchangable with previous design
EXCLUSIVE – Imported product
UNMATCHED – Almost as good as the competition
DESIGNED SIMPLICITY – Manufacturer’s cost cut to the bone
FOOLPROOF OPERATION – No provision for adjustments
ADVANCED DESIGN – The advertising agency doesn’t understand it
IT’S HERE AT LAST! – Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
FIELD-TESTED – Manufacturer lacks test equipment
HIGH ACCURACY – Unit on which all parts fit
DIRECT SALES ONLY – Factory had big argument with distributor
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – We finally got one that works
REVOLUTIONARY – It’s different from our competitiors
BREAKTHROUGH – We finally figured out a way to sell it
FUTURISTIC – No other reason why it looks the way it does
DISTINCTIVE – A different shape and color than the others
MAINTENANCE-FREE – Impossible to fix
RE-DESIGNED – Previous faults corrected, we hope…
HAND-CRAFTED – Assembly machines operated without gloves on
PERFORMANCE PROVEN – Will operate through the warranty period
MEETS ALL STANDARDS – Ours, not yours
ALL SOLID-STATE – Heavy as Hell!
BROADCAST QUALITY – Gives a picture and produces noise
HIGH RELIABILITY – We made it work long enough to ship it
SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE – When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound
NEW GENERATION – Old design failed, mabey this one will work
MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS – We got a good deal at a government auction
CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY – You can return it from most airports
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE – Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way
BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES – We finally got it to fit together
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED – Manufacturer’s, upon cashing your check
MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED – Does things we can’t explain
LATEST AER0SPACE TECHNOLOGY – One of our techs was laid off by Boeing

Mheh.

_____________________________________________________





‘Twas a One-Legged Man™ day in the Realm™ today, Denizens, so here’s something out of the Grab-Bag™. (A certain Austin-based DevilDog should appreciate this.)

Fahrenheit / Celsius
· +50 / +10
o New York tenants turn on the heat
o Wisconsinites plant gardens
· +40 / +4
o Californians shiver uncontrollably
o Wisconsinites sunbathe
· +35 / +2
o Italian cars don’t start
· +32 / 0
o Distilled water freezes
· +30 / -1
o You can see your breath
o You plan a vacation in Florida
o Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
o Wisconsinites eat ice cream
· +25 / -4
o Boston water freezes
o Californians weep pitiably
o Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you
· +20 / -7
o Cleveland water freezes
o San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
o Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts
· +15 / -10
o You plan a vacation in Acapulco
o Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
o Wisconsinites go swimming
· +10 / -12
o Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
o Too cold to snow
o You need jumper cables to get the car going
· 0 / -18
o New York landlords turn on the heat
o Sheboygan brats grilled on the patio, yum!
· -5 / -21
o You can hear your breath
o You plan a vacation in Hawaii
· -10 / -23
o American cars don’t start
o Too cold to skate
· -15 / -26
o You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
o Miamians cease to exist
o Wisconsinites lick flagpoles
· -20 / -29
o Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
o Politicians actually do something about the homeless
o People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens
· -25 / -32
o Too cold to kiss
o You need jumper cables to get the driver going
o Japanese cars don’t start
o Milwaukee Brewers head for spring training
· -30 / -34
o You plan a two-week hot bath
o Pilsener freezes
o Bock beer production begins
o Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof
· -38 / -39
o Mercury freezes
o Too cold to think
o Wisconsinites button top button
· -40 / -40
o Californians disappear
o Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
o Wisconsinites put on sweaters
· -50 / -46
o Congressional hot air freezes
o Alaskans close the bathroom window
o Green Bay Packers practice indoors
· -60 / -51
o Walruses abandon Aleutians
o Sign on Mount St. Helens: “Closed for the Season”
o Wisconsinites put gloves away, take out mittens
o Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
· -70 / -57
o Glaciers in Central Park
o Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
o Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to Sault Ste. Marie
· -80 / -62
o Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
o Rhinelander Birkebeiner
o Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
· -90 / -68
o Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
o Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
o Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be warmer
· -100 / -73
o Santa Claus abandons North Pole
o Wisconsinites pull down earflaps
· -173 / -114
o Ethyl alcohol freezes
o Only Door County cherries usable in brandy Manhattans
· -297 / -183
o Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
o Microbial life survives only on dairy products
· -445 / -265
o Superconductivity
· -452 / -269
o Helium becomes a liquid
· -454 / -270
o Hell freezes over
· -456 / -271
o Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90
· -458 / -272
o Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution
· -460 / -273 (Absolute Zero)
o All atomic motion ceases
o Wisconsinites allow as to how it’s getting a mite nippy

Dammit, can we bring some o’ that down here??!?!?!?! (grrr)

_____________________________________________________





The Department of History Repeating Itself chimes in today with this story about Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator™ once again near a body of water with people’s lives on the line – and once again he turned his back on them.

Fortunately, however, this  time no one died.

The Cape Cod Times reports the Massachusetts Democrat was walking his two Portuguese waterdogs on the shore at about 11:15 a.m. when he spotted the men cut off from the shore by rising waters.

Hyannis Fire Capt. Craig Farrenkopf told the paper Kennedy and a friend tried to retrieve the men in a 13-foot Whaler before they were forced back by rough waters.

One presumes that it wasn’t King Chappaquiddick’s attorney this  time.

Shortly after the attempt, a crew from the fire department was able to pick up the men in their 20s in three trips and bring them back to shore. They were transported to Cape Cod Hospital with mild hypothermia.

They were fortunate.  Some who have depended on the Fat-Assed Fop™ to save them from raging bodies of water found themselves dead shortly thereafter.

The six had been fishing at the end of the jetty, where uneven rocks make walking difficult when tides rise. The Times reports heavy winds topped 35 miles per hour, making harbor waters choppy.

Farrenkopf said Sen. Kennedy waited on shore as the rescues took place.

Probably because he didn’t have the cover of night this time like he did back in 1969.

_____________________________________________________





Memo to Keyshawn Johnson:  Think maybe Drew Bledsoe had a freakin’ point???

Arlington Heights 16, South Hills 13
TCU 38, Army 17
Oklahoma 19, Kansas 3
LSU 21, Florida 17
Dallas 16, New York 13 (OT)

Remember I said that for South Hills to beat Arlington Heights, they’d have to shut them out?

Well, South Hills shut out the Yellow Jacket offense.

Trouble was, they had a bit more difficulty with the other two phases of Heights’ game.  The Jacket defense returned an interception 39 yards for a touchdown and forced a safety from the Scorpion offense on a blocked punt, and another punt was returned 40 yards for the other score.

I don’t know if I’d be counting on a playoff spot from this bunch, if their offense can’t generate so much as a field goal against the South Hills defense.

It can now be made official:  This is a rebuilding year for the Oklahoma Sooners.

When you can only get 19 points against the freakin’ Kansas Jayhawks  for Cthulu’s sake, something’s wrong.

OU probably needs to hope Rhett Bomar can mature as a quarterback and the defense can grow up while Bob Stoops retools his offensive line.  Billy Sims himself couldn’t run behind that motley crew.

LSU survived a strong challenge from the Urban Meyer express, aka the Florida Gators, in coming from behind to win at Baton Rouge, where they had lost their last three.

“Survived” is the word for it, too.  Florida forced five turnovers, 11 penalties and five sacks of quarterback Jamarcus Russell.

Needless to say, Les Miles was not happy.

“There’s got to be a stronger push and a greater commitment by our team,” he said. “We’re going to fix it. If you turn the ball over the amount of times that we did and you have penalties that are unforced … we will not be able to do the things that this team is capable of doing.

“This football team has a lot in front of it. Right now, we’re just a sloppy team on offense,” he said.

Good luck with all that, Les.  Lotta that going around nowadays.

TCU didn’t put away Army until late.  With a couple of exceptions, the defense did a fairly admirable job against the Black Knights’ offense, thanks in part to three interceptions, two by the much-maligned Quncy “Toast” Butler, who had at least one for the third straight game.

(Side note:  Memo to whoever’s reading me over at TCU:  Tell Quincy I said “nice work, don’t let up”.)

Jeff Ballard threw two touchdown passes and ran for two more as the Froggies ran up over 400 yards of offense and pulled away in the fourth quarter.

One of the classic moments in the game occurred in the 3rd quarter with about eight minutes left.  Army was driving, and on 2nd and one, a timeout was called by the referee.  Now, this crew is never going to be God’s gift to officiating – but they did provide a thimbleful of entertainment:

REFEREE (on mic, to crowd):  “Time out on the field.  This is an official’s timeout”

ARMY player (in background):  “Why?”

REF (without  turning off mic):  “Because I want one!!!”

CROWD (hearing the entire exchange):  BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAH…!!!

Speaking of laughing, you’ll pardon me if I’m LMAO at Keyshawn Johnson Right About Now™.  After making a public spectacle of himself in throwing a temper tantrum last week at Drew Bledsoe for the cardinal sin of suggesting he should do a better job of holding on to the ball after catching a pass…Keyshawn goes right out and does the same damned exact thing yesterday against the New York Football Giants:  Catch, turn, step, hit, fumble.

The only difference is that this time, NY didn’t return it for a touchdown; Dallas was fortunate to hold the Giants to three.  In fact, for the first 58 minutes of the game yesterday, Dallas did an outstanding job of just that – holding the league-leading New York scoring offense to just two field goals.  They sacked Eli Manning four times, allowed the Giants just one-for-eleven on third down conversions and held noted Cowboy-killer Tiki Barber to just 64 yards.

But in the last two minutes, NY finally took a look at the Redskin tapes, got Jeremy Shockey isolated on our favorite bumbling twosome (Aaron Gleen and Roy Williams), and tied the game after the Giants traveled to the Dallas 24 on the strength of an Manning pass to Plaxico Burress.

All’s well that ended well, however.  Dallas won the toss and moved smartly down the field, thanks mostly to a 26-yard catch of a Bledsoe pass by Jason Witten, setting the ‘Boys up in FG range.

Four plays later, José Cortez was true on a 45-yarder for the win – and for my first bona fide  Perfect Football Weekend in well over a year. (Given the teams I’m following, I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to score another one again.  Phew. (grin))

The PFW will return Friday to see if we can make it two in a row.

_____________________________________________________





We’ve all taken our potshots at the Puppy Blender™ these last few years, so I guess it was about time for Chris Muir to take his crack at him, too. (grin)

_____________________________________________________

« Previous Articles    
_______________
 
 
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Spatula City BBS! was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.