Posted by Darth Venomous @ 11:36
The blog is closing this year (I’ll make the official annoucement later on), and this is likely my last ever blog post.
Okay, so I lied. This is the last-ever blog post.
Then again, I rather doubt anyone other than me will ever read this, so…
First things first: It was ten (10) years ago today – also a Saturday, as fate would have it – that I challenged the so-called Rev’r’nnnnnnnnnnd Mykeru of the Church of the SubTarded – known forever hereinafter as “Mykki Chickenshit” – to come out from behind his M-1 and his inflatable dolls and $66-wielding sock puppets, and show up on my doorstep and spew his anti-Christian bullshit to my face.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 6:00
Figures I’d go out on a clunker of a clusterfuck like that.
But then again, sportz fanz…that’s what Executive Fiat is for.
Cincinnati 10, at Indianapolis 26
Pittsburgh 17, at Baltimore 30
Detroit 20, at Dallas 24
at Arizona 16, Carolina 27
#19 Auburn 31, #18 Wisconsin 34 (OT) (Outback Bowl)
#14 UCLA 40, #11 Kansas State 35 (Alamo Bowl)
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 8:27
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 8:17
(Yeah, it’s a rerun of a rerun of a rerun. Of a rerun. Et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.
Bite Sue me, mkay? I’m busy cooking. )
I first penned (penned?) this screed (g) on 11/17/01. I thought it appropriate then (and still do), it being Thanksgiving and all, to jot down a list of those things for which I was thankful. This year the tradition continues, below the fold, as usual with only a few minor tweaks to keep things current:
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 11:22
Those of you who have read me for any length of time – well, you probably knew it was coming all along, didn’t you? – but you know damned well what this is.
For now, click the link. Go ahead. Click it. I effin’ dare you.
And turn it up. Waaaaaay up. )
That’s right, sportz fanz: It’s vacation time for His Rudeness. A chance to Get Away From It All, as it were.
For the first time in ten years, this is a multi-week vacation, as I get two whole weeks to spread as much hate & discontent as I possibly can.
MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet): You are not going to any strip clubs, you hear meeeeeee?!?!?!?!!
VENOMOUS: Yeah, yeah, whatever, woman.
MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet): CLAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
Vicar, General – you guys have the conn. General…when you’re done chlorinating the gene pool of Twinkie-hating union goons down there in the Southern Command, could I borrow a couple cases of Band-Aids©…?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 8:04
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 9:30
Six years ago today, she came into my life. One year to the day thereafter, we married
And my life’s been a living hell ever since.
Still sorta crazy about her, though, y’know?.
Happy anniversary, Mrs. Venomous.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 8:04
(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001. It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.
This will very likely be the last time this ever gets posted, as I do intend to close Spatula City sometime next year.)
NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 21:22
The question has been axed…yeah, I said “axed”, come say it to my face if that pisses you off…if Yours Truly intends to host a Perfect Football Weekend this year.
And the answer is…maybe.
I mean, at this point…what with This Fine Blog having basically gone the way of Yeah, Right, Whatever, and its pithy readership having trudged off for blogs that actually update…who’s gonna read it?
Still, there’s probably gonna be things about which I can vent, so we’ll see.
Now, to go find some non-Core teams that don’t disappoint from week to week…
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 21:30
Denizens, I have come to a decision regarding This Fine Blog, and will be announcing it sometime within the next few days.
Watch this space.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 21:45
Some dumbshits just do not know when to take a fucking hint.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 10:46
Five’ll get you a hundred that Philip Seymour Hoffman got his start on marijuana.
Morons in Colorado & Washington State, take note.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 16:20
The No Fuckingballs League announced the Pro Football Hall of Fame’s 2014 class last night.
Now, it’s bad enough that widdle Mikey “Gap Toof” Strahan gets in. He owns a “record” for sacks that Brett “Hey, Jenn, lookit my balls” Favre laid down – literally – to give him. No respect for players like that at all.
But, when Aeneas Effing Williams of the Phoeniz Cardinals (yeah – that piss-poor excuse-for-a-football-team) gets in, with zero Super Bowl rings, while Charles Haley (only player in NFL history with (ahem) five) gets snubbed again…
Fuck you, NFL writers. You pissweasels are as irrelevant as the bastards who dish out the Nobel Peace Prize.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 7:37
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 1:19
DIS chu’ botIvjaj!
qaStaHvIS DISvam, reH qaDmeylIj DacharghmeH yapjaj HoSlIj, ‘ej not nIHoSmoHtaHbogh qaDmey DaHutlhjaj.
(May you all enjoy the new year!
During this year, may you always be strong enough to overcome your challenges, and may you never lack for challenges to keep you strong.)
KORRIOTH: And with a tolerable accent, too. You honor us, Admiral.
VENOMOUS: I try.
Happy New Year, Denizens.