Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

Glenn Beck had a great point regarding James Cameron’s bullshit meme, aka the latest asinine attack on Christianity.

Beck maintains (and I agree, BTW) that you can’t do the church thing (and I would add, you can’t be a Christian, period) if you don’t believe in the Resurrection.

Without the Resurrection, the Bible becomes nothing more than Tuesdays with Morrie.&#160 In fact, if the Resurrection is not true, then the entire Bible is a fraud, since Jesus and the Resurrection is the one thing around which Scripture centers.

As for you, James Cameron, you can take your box of bones, turn it sideways and shove it up your candy-ass.&#160 This latest project of yours is pretty much on par with you showing us a fat, naked Kate Winslet.

In other words…ew.&#160

The Messicans are a might bit peeved over our little incursion into their precious territory.

Ask me if I care.

Guys, I have a situation here that’s going to preclude me making any Texas Blogfest ’07 preparations.

No, the wedding isn’t in trouble, but my fianc&#233e is going to need my help in handling a small problem she’s having – which, unfortunately, will leave me no time to do much of anything else, I imagine.&#160 Therefore, TB07 is postponed until further notice.

Sorry.&#160 I’ll let you guys know when we reschedule.

Thatisall&#153.

Denizens, your homework assignment for this weekend is to go read this fine treatise penned (penned?) by the Revered Spousal Unit&#153 of the Imperial Firearms Advisor&#153.

Mrs, in case you see this – that’s one damned fine piece of work.&#160 Wish I’d’ve said that.

UPDATE:&#160 The link has been fixed.&#160 Kudos & huzzahs to Denizen David Hartung.

(Crossposted here from the Rott, because that’s where the original post first appeared.)

During a recent thread, the Imperial Empress (long may she bestow large amounts of firearms & ammo on the Emperor (grin)) was overheard saying thusly:

But, we are grateful to have been fortunate enough to be able to be a part of the fun! Maybe we can accomplish something similar in Texas this year as well!

Funny she should mention that.&#160 Here’s what I have in mind:

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One of the men who defined what the NBA was all about died today.&#160 Dennis Johnson was 52.

DJ was one of those guys you loved to hate, unless he was on your team.&#160 He was hard-nosed as all get out, gritty, and tended to save his best efforts for the biggest games.&#160 He won NBA titles in Seattle & Boston, and was all-NBA six times.

The Realm&#153 extends its condolences.&#160 He’ll be missed.

(Hat tip to His Imperial Vileness&#153.)

Dammit, some guys get all the luck.

A Fredericksburg man was arrested Saturday on charges he assaulted three strangers at their home during a dispute over politics, police said.

Memo to Michael “Mykki Chickenshit” Cortese:&#160 This&#160 is what I’m talkin’ about, pussy!

According to a Fredericksburg police report, the suspect went to a home in the 900 block of Marye Street about 5:30 p.m. after finding one of the resident’s name on a Republican Web site.

The resident and his two roommates engaged in a discussion with the suspect, though none of them had ever met or had contact with him before.

I do soooo&#160 hope they kept it to words of one syllable for the little fuckheaded perp, y’know?

The argument got heated and the suspect learned that the young residents had not enlisted in the military and “put their all” behind the Republican-led war effort in Iraq, police spokeswoman Natatia Bledsoe said.

Ah, yes.&#160 The “if you’re so gung-ho for the war, whyn’t you go enlist” bullshit meme.

Yawn.&#160 You’d think they’d show a little creativity and have something else by now.

The suspect refused to leave the home after repeatedly being asked to do so, police said. The three roommates were hit multiple times each as they attempted to get the suspect out of the door, authorities said.

The suspect continued to be aggressive and disorderly even after a city police officer arrived, the report states.

Now this is where I have a problem with my three conservative cohorts.

First off, why the Hell&#153 are you trying to escort him out the door?&#160 You’ve got him right where you can beat the ever-lovin’ shit out of his skanky ass, and then&#160 claim self-defense – and you’re trying to force him to leave???&#160 Where in the name of Cthulu are your cojones,&#160 mates?

Secondly, the first&#160 time he went to the slap-fight routine, all three of you should’ve been climbing over each other to kick his ass!&#160 WTF is wrong&#160 with you people, hmmmmmm???

Andrew Stone, 23, was charged with three counts of assault and battery. A magistrate released Stone on his own recognizance and he was ordered to have no further contact with the victims.

It was not clear in the report what political agenda Stone was supporting.

&#160 Oh, for the luvva Pete.&#160 What “agenda” do you morons at the Lance-Star think&#160 he was supporting?&#160 Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?????

UPDATE:&#160 What’d I tell ya???

Hey, Stoney!&#160 Anytime you find yourself down Texas way with the urge to duke it out, just lemme know.

Hell, I’ll wait up fer ye.&#160

[Scene:&#160 The bridge of Pegasus.&#160 Our Intrepid Heroes&#153 find themselves near the Realm&#153-Imperial Empire&#153 border, having a look at what appears to be a derelict Imperial Star Destroyer, adrift in space.&#160 Executive officer Captain Korrioth is at the science station, taking sensor readings.&#160 Communications officer T-Bone McManx is intently listening for any response to the numerous hails he’s already sent the vessel.&#160 Navigator & weapons officer K’hadibak’h is looking expectantly back at Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant, eagerly awaiting the command to lock onto the craft and destroy it with the ship’s new transphasic torpedoes.&#160 His Rudeness&#153 sits & stares thoughtfully at the viewscreen, absently chewing a knuckle.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Still no life signs, Captain?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Negative, Admiral.&#160 The vessel appears to have been abandoned.

LSIK&T:&#160 McManx, have you managed to make out its registry yet?

T-BONE:&#160 Admiral, it appears to be Lyudmila&#160 – Emperor Misha’s personal vessel.

KORRIOTH:&#160 I thought he commandeered Executor II&#160 for his personal use…?

LSIK&T:&#160 Not since that incident with Durron and the Sun Crusher.&#160 Got his ass rightly singed on that one – Executor&#160 simply isn’t fast enough nor manueverable enough.&#160 (chews more knuckle)&#160 I wonder…

KORRIOTH:&#160 Admiral!!!&#160 Torpedo tubes arming!!!

LSIK&T:&#160 Evasive pattern Gamma!!!&#160 K’hadibak’h, shields, now!!!

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Incoming!!!

LSIK&T:&#160 All hands, brace for impact!!!!!

[Everyone flinches as Lyudmila’s&#160 shot finds its target – the viewscreen of Pegasus&#160 – and hits with a sickly-sounding sploosh.&#160 (Think of Dark Helmet’s vessel getting jammed in Spaceballs.)&#160 Once His Rudeness&#153 realizes they haven’t been vaporized, he cautiously peeks up.&#160 A massive scowl crosses his face.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Oh, shit.&#160 It’s a frickin’ meme!!!

I’m supposed to divulge some weird facts about His Imperial Vileness, Brendan?

…

So now I get to tag people, mheh.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Better you than me.

LSIK&T:&#160 Shut up or I’ll put you in command of the Hum-a-zoo.

KORRIOTH:&#160 (grunt)

Okay, okay.&#160 Six weird things that few folks know about me.&#160 Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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I think that this probably qualifies as my ultimate wet dream.

So here I was, all ready to make Tim Hardaway the new SpatulaHero&#153.

Then he goes and pisses the hell outta me by recanting.

“Yes, I regret it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said I hate gay people or anything like that,” he said. “That was my mistake.”

No, Timmy, your mistake was caving in to whomever got to you and showing one hellacious lack of spine.&#160 Another mistake was letting that fuckhead Danielle Le Bastard label you a “homophobe” and actually agreeing with it.

Memo to the sodomite community:&#160 We don’t fear you.&#160 You do not strike the slightest bit of terror in me, or anyone else for that matter.&#160 It’s actually revulsion & disgust – not unlike the feeling you get upon finding that you’ve stepped on a dog turd and tracked it into the house.&#160 I wouldn’t exactly call that a “phobia” – more like a gag reflex.

On the other hand, you limp-wristed pussies seem to want to shout down posthaste anyone who might offend those delicate sensibilities&#160 of yours.&#160 Almost as if you’re terrified of letting any attack of your lack of character go unchallenged, lest people see that our revulsion with you asswipes isn’t such a bad thing to have, after all – as if it makes a helluva lotta sense to despise perversion such as yours.

So who are really the phobics here?&#160 Here’s a clue – tain’t us, McGee.

Shame that sticks in your craw (not!), but I don’t rightly give a shit about that – and you won’t find me apologizing to you, ever.&#160 I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – it’s not tolerance&#160 you faggots want, it’s acceptance.&#160 You want me to say that what you do is okay and a perfectly normal “lifestyle choice”.

And that ain’t happenin’.&#160 Ever.&#160 Suggest you deal with it, nancy-boys.

And Hardaway?&#160 Fuck off.&#160 Come back when you grow a set.

Okay, so the Chintzy Dicks won five awards in pop music’s circle-jerk pat-on-the-back to itself.&#160 So the NY Slimes&#160 considers it “vindication” for the traitorous tramps.

I’d still rather hear this girl sing – and she’s a helluva lot sexier than Natalie Maines ever thought&#160 of being.

Oh, th’ poooooooooooooooooooooooor widdle town of Cactus.&#160 Got its ass busted because its primary employer, Swift Meats, was employing so many illegal aliens.&#160 (Once again, that’s ILLEGAL ALIENS to you mongoloids on the left.)

Let’s see how much this trips my own personal Give-A-Fuck-O-Meter:

Nah, not so much.

Denizens, front & center please.

How would you feel about a Texas Blogfest ’07 towards the end of April?&#160 Say, the last weekend thereof?&#160 Discuss here, if you please.

(Incidentally, I’ve already discussed this with my partner in crime the SpatulaGoddess, and she rather fancies the idea.)

I’ll be telling you the reason for the April date in exactly one week’s time.&#160 Stay tuned.

Denizens, if the page starts looking kinda funky, bear with me.&#160 I’m working on something.

I’ll let you know what it is if I’m successful with it.

If not, that sound you hear will be McCool getting shoved out the airlock.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Eep.

UPDATE:&#160 Okay, those of you perusing my fine work (cough) via InterTubes Exploder are seeing something I lifted off of this site here (and please, try not to ogle Carmen Electra too much, mkay?).&#160 Obviously, it’s a clock that chases your mouse pointer.

I don’t know if Ciampis did this himself, or lifted it from someone else, but I think it’s damn cool.

Firefox users (me included), be patient. You can’t see it yet, and I’m trying to find out why.

Well, she always wanted to be like Marilyn.&#160 Looks like she got her wish.

Anna Nicole Smith has assumed room temperature.&#160 And, based on these paragraphs…

A private nurse called 911 after finding Smith unresponsive in her sixth-floor room, said Seminole Police Chief Charlie Tiger. He said Smith’s bodyguard administered cardiopulmonary resuscitation about an hour before she was declared dead. She is believed to have expired on the scene.

Anna Nicole was reportedly treated with Narcan on the scene. Narcan is a substance generally adminstered to remove narcotics from a person’s system.

…five’ll get you ten that drugs were involved.

Just like Marilyn.

Anna, we hardly knew ye.