Okay, so let me see if I have this right:
We’ve got BambiCare causing all manner of folks to lose insurance they wanted to keep, and to pay more & more to replace it.
Vladimir Putin has invaded the Ukraine.
We have some 270 folks missing that were on a Malaysian Airlines plane.  No evidence of a crash or anything, the plane just went missing.
The Second Civil War™ may be just about to start.
And folks are getting the vapors over…thigh gap?!?!?!
It’s been OK to Photoshop since the invention of Photoshop, and perhaps no one has taken more advantage of it than the fashion and modeling industries. But Target’s apparent attempt to give a bikini model a fashionable thigh gap was such a hack job as to elicit a series of apologies from the company.
We.  Are.  So.  Fucking.  Screwed.
Let God’s judgement come.  We’ve fucking earned  it.
At the Video Music Awards a couple days ago, Miley Cyrus…well, let’s just say she took a page from the Britney Spears playbook and oops, she did it again:
Just when people began to relax after Gaga’s not-so-weird performance, the real sucker punch of the night came: when the girl who was still a practically a Disney princess while Gaga was rocking a meat dress – Miley Cyrus hit the stage.
Cyrus stepped up and assumed the throne for the strangest, most provocative performer at this year’s VMAs, fitting nicely into the crown for Queen of Obscene, funny hair horns and all.
The singer emerged in a furry gray leotard with the face of a seemingly-intoxicated teddy bear to perform her single “We Can’t Stop.” Following the theme of her music video, she was backed up by a gaggle of dancers with the giant teddy bear backpacks, folks in teddy bear suits, and the World’s Tallest Burlesque Dancer, Amazon Ashley, who stands at 6’7”.
Living up to her reputation for shamelessly working it, she didn’t disappoint as she playfully bounced, popped and thrust through the song that had viewers in a trance.
Once Robin Thicke came out to perform what is probably the song of summer ’13, “Blurred Lines,” Cyrus shed the fun fur to reveal a very Gaga-esque nude vinyl bikini, not much unlike the latex getup Gaga wore at the 2011 Grammys. And she just kept twerking like she copyrighted the move.
At this point, I have to wonder if Billy Ray ever gave her the ass-whipping she likely deserved while growing up.
Doesn’t seem like it, y’know?
The Vicar wonders what the General’s response will be when Private(E1) Manning’s request for transgender hormone therapy arrives on his desk.
Denizens, since I don’t feel like writing at the moment, go read this from the good Professor (actually, his associate Andrew Branca) over at Legal Insurrection.
Be prepared to do a helluva  lotta head-shaking.
To the Miami Heat:
Congratulations on your purchase  of another NBA championship.
We trust that this most recent purchase  will further help to soothe the butthurt caused by your inability to beat the Dallas Mavericks for the title two years ago.
Not to mention the fact that you purchased  the title in 2006, too.  They don’t call you the Miami cHeat for nothing, y’know.
So enjoy your purchase, chumps.  Since you sure as Hell™ can’t build  a championship team, we s’pose buying  one is your only recourse.
Have fun with your purchase.
Asswipes.
(Hat tip Twitchy.)
Annnnnnnd just when you think that our society’s hit absolute rock bottom…bammo, they whip out a jackhammer.
Denizens…meet “Senhor Testiculo”.
A Brazilian cancer awareness group put themselves in a hairy situation in an effort to teach people about testicular cancer.
Brazil’s Association of Personal Assistance for Cancer has introduced to the world the Mr. Balls mascot, better known in Portuguese as “Senhor Testiculo.”
The mascot has already made friends with both adults and kids despite not being the most visually appealing character, the New York Daily News reported.
Shaped like a scrotum, and with um, quite the bit of hair, the “friendly” Mr. Balls has become somewhat of a star in certain sections of Brazil.
“Both children and adults loved taking pictures with the mascot, a friendly snowman in the shape of [a] testicle,” the non-profit organization’s website said.
While he’s a rather odd figure, the group says “Mr. Ball’s has done his job by helping to propel testicular cancer research into the media spotlight.”
God’s judgement on this planet cannot come soon enough… 
My respect for Jim Nabors just went to negative-infinity.
The actor best known for playing the TV character Gomer Pyle in the 1960s has married his male partner of 38 years.
Hawaii News Now (http://bit.ly/14tFM3U) reports Jim Nabors and his partner, Stan Cadwallader, traveled from their Honolulu home to Seattle to be married Jan. 15.
And before you ask – no, I didn’t  know.
So the traditional icons are falling, one by one.  First the Boy Scouts, now Gomer Pyle.
God’s judgment on this nation can’t come soon enough.
The Boy Scouts, apparently, are considering suicide.
The Boy Scouts of America is considering an end to its longstanding policy of banning gay Scouts and Scout leaders, the organization said on Monday.
The new policy would eliminate the ban on gays from the organization’s national rules, allowing local chapters to decide for themselves.
“The BSA is discussing potentially removing the national membership restriction regarding sexual orientation,” Deron Smith, a spokesman for the Boy Scouts of America, wrote in an email to Yahoo News. “This would mean there would no longer be any national policy regarding sexual orientation, but that the chartered organizations that oversee and deliver Scouting would accept membership and select leaders consistent with their organization’s mission, principles or religious beliefs.”
How about the Church Of The Shrinking Organization™?
Alas, poor BSA.  We hardly knew ye.
…and, bah Gawd (a little Jim Ross lingo, there), don’tcha think it oughta be…?
To top off what has probably been the shittiest year in world history…now comes the worst news yet.
The Skank & the Pussy* are gonna have a bastard.
Get ready for yet another Kardashian to keep up with! On Sunday night, Kanye West “announced” that he and Kim Kardashian are expecting a child together when he told the crowd at his Atlantic City concert to “Stop the music and make some noise for my baby mama,” according to a fan on Twitter who was at the show, and then reportedly pointed to his girlfriend in the audience.
Although Kim – who is still married to her husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries – has yet to say anything to her nearly 17 million fans on Twitter, her rep did confirm that the reality star is pregnant. This will be the first child for both Kim, 32, and West, 35, who began dating in the spring of 2012.
Oh, how abso-fucking-lutely lovely.
One thing’s for damned sure:  If Antichrist wasn’t already here…he is now. 
*I’ll let you figure out which is which.  They’re fairly interchangeable, y’know.
This came from the keyboard of the lovely & gracious Mrs. M of the Rott.  It’s worth your time to read it, because I said so.
It’s been a couple of days since that horrible shooting in Connecticut. As per usual, when something of this nature takes place, there are screams of outrage about what the killer chose to use to commit his horrible crime. Lets blame the guns.
When are people going to suck it up and start looking at why the shooter decided to do what he did, and what brought him to that point in the first place? Does it really matter what he used? How about we as a society start doing some soul searching as to how we are raising our children to become killers? Of course that’s not pretty or comfortable, so instead we want to blame inanimate objects for our crimes. What are we doing now, that wasn’t being done 30-40 years ago, when this sort of thing was unheard of. What are we not doing now, that was done 30-40 years ago when we didn’t have to look over our shoulders at everyone, wondering if they were planning to kill. Could it be that our “enlightened” way of being, our grand experiment of “if it feels good do it” way of life, and our total disrespect for each other and the sanctity of life is a total failure and blowing up in our faces??
We allow Hollywood and the media to bombard us with sexual images, violence and a complete disrespect for privacy and life in general. We allow the Government to dictate to us how our children should be raised and educated. When parents are faced with a behavior they don’t want to deal with, we allow the children to be placed on behavior altering (and in many cases mind altering) drugs without any thought as to the consequences. We’ve allowed our children to be exposed to some of the most horrid circumstances imaginable. We no longer blink when a 14 year old becomes pregnant. It’s just routine. We don’t think that children being born to a woman with multiple children with multiple fathers (most all of whom are completely absent from the children’s lives) is wrong. Children are being left to their own devices, forced to make it on their own, and we wonder why so many end up in gangs, on drugs, and turning violent. Even the kids who are living in “normal” homes are left to figure things out on their own. Parents think discipline is bad. They are under the impression that children will learn right from wrong on their own. They would rather hand the kids an Ipod, Ipad, a Wii, computer and a wifi connection and they don’t have to bother being parents. Just let the electronics and Youtube teach our children how to grow up. Self respect and respect for others is just old fashioned. We can’t mention the word Morals, because *gasp* that’s a “Religious” thing.
When did respect for life, respect for one’s self, respect for other people, knowing right from wrong, and obeying parents and the law become strictly a “Religious thing”??? And we wonder why kids are so screwed up?
Children are being sexualized and exploited from the moment they are born (when we even allow them to be born in the first place) and we seem to believe they are mentally and emotionally capable of handling it. We no longer want to protect our children’s innocence. That requires parents to actually be the adults and make the effort to know, see, and observe all our children are being exposed to. Parents are being led to believe that they have no responsibilities in raising their children. Let the Government, the schools and the media do that for them. Yeah Hollywood and Washington have a wonderful track record of turning out fine, upstanding, moral, responsible people right??
Children used to look up to people like Neal Armstrong and Charles Lindbergh, Jacques Cousteau, Alan Shepard, John Wayne. Those were the people our kids wanted to emulate. Now…
Well now it’s Honey Boo Boo, Kim Kardashian, Snookie, Lady Gaga, Tupac Shakur, and Jay-Z who are the “heroes”…and we think that’s progress???
So go ahead and blame guns. That will make you feel so much better than having to admit that Society itself has to bear much more of the blame.
Amen & amen.
Fox News has reported that Mittens has conceded.  He’s now on my fucking TV screen, ready to snivel & piss away the last vestiges of Reagan’s glorious party.
Fuck you, you son-of-a-Mormon-bitch RINO.
Weep with us now for poor Augusta National.
The PCP (Politically Correct Pussy) Brigade finally got them to cave in:
The home of the Masters now has green jackets for women.
In a historic change at one of the world’s most exclusive golf clubs, Augusta National invited former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and South Carolina financier Darla Moore to become the first female members since the club was founded in 1932.
“This is a joyous occasion,” chairman Billy Payne said Monday.
For a pussy-whipped beta-male like you maybe, Billie.  For those of us who love tradition and don’t feel the need to have female companionship foisted on us 24/7/365, not so much.
For some, it was a long time coming.
Martha Burk and her women’s advocacy group first challenged the club 10 years ago over its all-male membership.
And I think that’s what pisses me off most about this – the vision of that ugly-assed fat pig Burk finally doing her little happy dance.  About as revolting as Roseanne Barr doing the National-Anthem-Crotch-Grab.
The debate returned this year when IBM, one of the top corporate sponsors of the Masters, appointed Virginia Rometty as its chief executive. The previous four CEOs of Big Blue had all been Augusta National members.
Yet another reason not to want anything to do with IBM.
And quite frankly, I don’t give two royal shits that the first one was Condi Rice.  She was a wonderful Secretary of State for this country.  But my estimation of her just went down a notch or two.  Thank Cthulhu Mittens didn’t pick her as his running mate now.
As for Augusta – not that I’d ever get a sniff of membership there, but they couldn’t pay me to be a member now.
I don’t care to give my money to the pussy-whipped.
(Hat tip:  Hoft, as usual.)
And at the other extreme (i.e. the heterophobic pro-sodomite militant leftards) comes this video.
I’m putting it below the fold to give you time to put down all throwables/breakables/shootables, etc.  I guaran-damn-tee you that you’ll have your own personal RCOB™ going within fifteen seconds, and by the end will be wanting to print out a picture of this bastard to take to the range with you.
So here we go.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you:
Now, this vid was originally taken down after the asslick got caught in the resulting shitstorm; what you’re watching here is a re-upload. The pussy who actually committed this heinous act of sheer chickenshittery has his YouTube page here.  Do note the overwhelming  display of support he’s receiving.    (The guy is supposedly some sort of instructor/lecturer, which is the reason this has been added to “Asshattery in Academia”.)
Lord, please don’t ever send me to Arizona.  I don’t think I could get out of there without being arrested for shoving a cattle prod up this prick’s ass and locking it on “high”…
UPDATE(s):  Well, first & foremost, the pusstard appears to have gotten shitcanned for his shit.
Adam Smith, former CFO and treasurer of medical supplies manufacturer Vante, caused quite a stir today when he put up a video of himself bullying a Chick-fil-A drive-thru employee in Tucson on YouTube.
Smith berates the worker about her company in the video, which was initially titled ”Reduce $’s to Chick-Fil-A’s Hate Groups.” It has since been taken down (though others have uploaded it too).
[…]
Vante didn’t approve of Smith’s behavior, and he’s no longer working there.
Here’s the press release from Vante announcing that Smith is “no longer an employee of our company,” effective immediately:
TUCSON, AZ–(Marketwire – Aug 2, 2012) – The following is a statement from Vante:
Vante regrets the unfortunate events that transpired yesterday in Tucson between our former CFO/Treasurer Adam Smith and an employee at Chick-fil-A. Effective immediately, Mr. Smith is no longer an employee of our company.
The actions of Mr. Smith do not reflect our corporate values in any manner. Vante is an equal opportunity company with a diverse workforce, which holds diverse opinions. We respect the right of our employees and all Americans to hold and express their personal opinions, however, we also expect our company officers to behave in a manner commensurate with their position and in a respectful fashion that conveys these values of civility with others.
We hope that the general population does not hold Mr. Smith’s actions against Vante and its employees.
Oh, and the other update?  If you go to that site of his I linked, you’ll see that he’s put up a cycling video…and taken down all the support.
Aw.  Shucky darn. 
This morning, Pennsylvania State University beclowned itself with an act of sacrilege.
The Joe Paterno statue was removed Sunday morning from its pedestal outside Beaver Stadium, and it will be stored in an unnamed “secure location,” Penn State president Rodney Erickson announced. Erickson also said the Paterno name will remain on the university’s library.
Well, how absolutely fuckin’ white  of Widdle Wodney. 
The decision came 10 days after a scathing report by former FBI director Louis J. Freeh found that Paterno, with three other top Penn State administrators, had concealed allegations of child sexual abuse made against former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The Freeh report concluded their motive was to shield the university and its football program from negative publicity.
Lemme tell you something about Louise Freeh.  This dickhead was the FBI director for one Bill “Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister” Clinton.
You guys do  remember Der Kaiser, don’t you?  You know – the half-assed excuse-for-a-President who had a full-blown affair with one Monica Lewinsky (complete with a cigar up her pussy & everything) – then lied about it to the American people?!?!?!?!?!  That  Kaiser Wilhelm?
Louise Freeh was part of one of the lyingest half-assed regimes in American history.  He himself is a lying sack of shit.  If Louise Freeh were to tell me that 2+2=4, I’d damned sure have a calculator & a couple of computers handy.
Joe Paterno was never charged with a crime.  He never had a fair trial.  His attorneys were never – and still  aren’t – allowed to cross-examine witnesses, whom themselves are shielded by their own  attorneys.  Yet we’re expected, nay obligated, to take Louise Freeh’s word as fucking gospel?!
Fuck.  That.
Joe Paterno, like every other American citizen, is innocent until proven guilty.  He, just like all the rest of us, is entitled to the benefit of the doubt.  Nothing less.
Yet Widdle Wodney Ewickson, being the spineless little dickweasel he is, will take the word of the FBI director of a known & proven liar, and further sully the reputation of the man that defined what previously had been the model college football program for nearly the last half century – and  does it after the man has died, thus leaving him unable to defend himself.
Typical leftard scumbaggery.
Fuck you, Rodney Erickson.
Fuck you, Penn State.
Fuck you, Louise Freeh, you cowardly little needle-dicked son-of-a-bitch.
FUCK ‘EM ALL, THE END! 
Tyson Gay eased through his first 100-meter qualifying heat in the U.S. Olympic trials Saturday, winning in 10 seconds flat.
Gay, mending from a hip injury that kept him out of action for most of the past year, matched the time he ran in his return in New York earlier this month. That race was into a headwind. This time, on a rainy day in Eugene, he had a slight tailwind.
Justin Gatlin, the 2004 Olympic champion, won his heat in 9.90 seconds, keeping alive his bid to return to the Olympics after missing 2008 because of a doping ban.
And now…the headline:
Gay in heat finishes in 10 seconds flat
Some retard in the headline department really, really  needs to have his dick cut off.