Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

Denizens, as you may (or may not) know, I’ve pretty much eschewed Halloween for several years now.&#160 Yeah, giving kiddies candy ‘n treats ‘n stuff is all cool ‘n all (when they bother even showing up) – but I’ve been fairly down on the goblins & spooks and general darkness&#160 October Thirty-Oneth has turned into in recent years.

That said…Great Honkin’ Cthulhu, check out this costume:

It’s been a heck of a day for bizarre and captivating Halloween costumes. But the first prize definitely goes to California photographer Royce Hutain who designed a LED Halloween costume for his daughter that created a startling effect in which the toddler appears to be an animated stick figure.

“She is 22 months old and loves wearing the suit,” Hutain writes on his YouTube page. “I’ll be uploading a video of her in different locations running around and doing her usual funny stuff.”

Is that effin’ cool, or what?

Read this.

That’s an order.

ThatIsAll&#153.

Item:&#160 The Los Angeles Dodgers clinched the NL West title the other day in Arizona – and to celebrate, they climbed the right-field fence and took a dip in the stadium’s open-access pool after everyone had left.

Item:&#160 This act pissed off half-assed excuse-for-a-senator RINO McLame:

“Poolgate” reached the nation’s capital Friday when Arizona Sen. John McCain voiced strong displeasure with the Los Angeles Dodgers’ celebration of their National League West title.

After the Dodgers clinched the division with Thursday’s 7-6 win against the Arizona Diamondbacks, roughly half the team celebrated by jumping into the pool behind the right-center field wall at Chase Field.

The revelry upset many players, executives and fans of the Diamondbacks, including McCain, who took to Twitter with this rant:

John McCain @SenJohnMcCain

No-class act by a bunch of overpaid, immature, arrogant, spoiled brats! “The #Dodgers are idiots” http://www.azcentral.com/insiders/danbickley/2013/09/19/the-dodgers-are-idiots/ …
12:36 PM – 20 Sep 2013

Item:&#160 Dodgers’ relief pitcher Brian “The Mohawk” Wilson had a classic response:

Brian Wilson @BrianWilson38

Senator McComplain knows a thing or two about coming in second and watching someone take a plunge in the pool (I mean poll) #POoLITICS
3:44 PM – 20 Sep 2013

BOOM!!!!!&#160

Denizens, your homework assignment is to read this treatise on this recap of the 9/11 biker rally up in DC PA this week.

PETA Crashes Biker Gathering…

Well, that&#160 was a mistake…&#160

UPDATE:&#160 After a bit of research, I’m believing that this is just a tad apocryphal.&#160 (Shows what I get for not invoking the 48-hour rule.)

What the hell – it’s still a good read.

Got this from a friend of mine on FB.

1. There shall always be bacon in the house. Always.

2. There isn’t a food that doesn’t go on well with bacon. Not even ice cream.

3. There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who love bacon and those who do not.

4. Bacon is so tasty even pigs will eat it.

5. There is no wrong way to cook, boil or fry bacon.

6. Most of the world’s problems can be solved with more bacon. Fact.

7. Meals without bacon are simply not meals.

8. You shall consume bacon every day of the week.

9. Bacon makes everything taste better. Just add bacon.

10. Bacon will get you laid.

So that’s&#160 why I never get laid…&#160

Ever since Senator Ted Cruz (Conservative-TX) began his ascendancy, the Pansy-assed ProgNazi Pussies&#153 on the left have been making a big deal about how he’s supposedly&#160 not a U.S. citizen.&#160 They fear (as they rightly should) that Cruz will someday run for president, and they want to use the very same argument that they’ve been sneering at for lo these past five years concerning their own limp-wristed crapweasel, the ball-less, dickless effeminate in the White House.

(I had a “friend” of mine try a similar tactic once.&#160 I used a certain argument as my platform in a presidential run for a certain “hah skrewl” (little Rush lingo, there) organization.&#160 The jackass sneered at the argument, voted for my opponent – then used the exact same argument himself&#160 in a vice-presidential bid of his own.&#160 And rightly got his head handed him.)

Except B. HUSSEIN!!!!!&#160 Obambi never produced a bona fide&#160 copy of his&#160 birth certificate – and Cruz…well…

Though he’s clearly a U.S. citizen, he may face a decision about his Canadian citizenship if he runs for president.

Leave it to the sniveling leftists at the Dullest Moaning Snooze to try & deflect the fact that Cruz just kicked their asses.

Again.

Take that, libtard doucherifles!

Got this off a friend of mine off Facebook.

A Coyote Tale…

CALIFORNIA:
===========

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.

The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.

The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack.

The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes.

PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

TEXAS:
======

The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging.

The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.

Yeppers…

Now this&#160 is Damn Fine Stuff&#153!!!

New parent?&#160 Learn it – love it – live it.

That…is an order.&#160

Denizens, your homework assignment for tonight is to go read this excellent fisking by the good Emperor.

Damn, I wish I could write like that…

Got this from Uncle Ted via FB

Now that…is greatness.&#160

(Okay, Denizens, I can’t vouch for the veracity of this – but I got this from here and here.&#160 Even if it’s not&#160 true…it’s still pretty damned funny.)

The Islamic calendar starts at the time of Mohammed went to Mecca so it is year 1434 AH (Year of the Hajji) and nothing happened before.

Apparently, that year happens to have been the Chinese year of the Pig.

[SCENE:&#160 Deep inside that sector of the Fifth Intergalatic Realm&#153 known as the Southern Command.&#160 Slow pan to a point about 140 degrees from the opening shot.

We then see a spatial displacement come into view.&#160 The translucent shimmer becomes the faint outlines of an image, which then coalesces into an oversized, seemingly-upside-down Klingon Bird-of-Prey.

Cut to:&#160 the bridge of the recently repaired ISS Pegasus, which has just decloaked someplace it was not previously known to be.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 And that’s a problem, Narrator?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Well, we usually file a flight plan with someone, y’know.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Look, Bumpy, when I go on vacation, I don’t give a shit if anyone&#160 know where I’m gonna be…

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Uh, guys…

KORRIOTH:&#160 …you know, so a certain Black Helicopter Fleet&#153 isn’t tempted to engage in…

[At that very moment, the bridge is rocked violently, back & forth.&#160 Cut to previous external view, and the Bird-of-Prey is now surrounded by what seems to be four Husnock warships, each taking turns firing on Pegasus.

Cut back to Pegasus’&#160 bridge.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 …target practice.

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Four warships, Admiral.&#160 IDs… [Kha double-checks his board] …it’s the Black Helicopter Fleet&#153, sir.

T-BONE McMANX:&#160 Admiral, we’re being hailed.

VENOMOUS (with a very&#160 annoyed look on his face):&#160 (sigh) On screen.

[On the viewscreen, space is replaced by a very familiar image.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Supreme General Rayegun.

RAYEGUN:&#160 What did I tell you about coming through the Southern Command&#153 without proper permittage-ery?

VENOMOUS:&#160 And what did I tell you about the Southern Command&#153 being part of my&#160 Realm&#153?

[The Supreme General of the Realm&#153 renders what could only be described as a smart-assed smirk.]

RAYEGUN:&#160 Damned straight, Narrator.

VENOMOUS:&#160 I do&#160 hope you’re enjoying your new toys, General.&#160 Figures you’d hog ’em all and not share…

RAYEGUN:&#160 Funny you should mention that…

[Cut to external view.&#160 Yet another spatial displacement shimmers & coalesces into a fifth Husnock battlecruiser.

Cut back to Pegasus’&#160 viewscreen.

RAYEGUN:&#160 Meet your new flagship, Admiral – ISS Vengeance.

[It’s a Realm&#153 first:&#160 Admiral Darth Venomous…is speechless.]

RAYEGUN:&#160 What did I tell you, Korrioth?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Five hundred credits on their way, General.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Wait.&#160 You had a bet&#160 on this…?

[Rayegun & Korrioth look away & adopt feral grins as we fade to black…]

—

IN THE SOUTHERN COMMAND – She had been christened Excelsior II.

That was before I got it out on Texas State Highway 130.&#160 (For the Uninitiated&#153, that’s the Austin-to-San Antonio toll road, where the speed limits run up to 85.&#160 Not that anyone ever observes them…heh…heh…heh…)

This car makes the original Excelsior&#160 feel like driving my old Cavalier.

Damn.&#160 Just, damn.&#160

From Bruins-Sabres last night.&#160 This was the first sporting event since the bombs went off at the Boston Marathon the other day.

Somehow, it’s gotten a little dusty in here, y’know?

Satan has begun his eternal raping of Hugito the Needle-Dick&#153.

Let the party…commence!!!

Today, 1/23/13, is the tenth anniversary of what is one of my favorite blog posts ever – so much so that I actually saved it to file.&#160 (Good thing, too – apparently, it’s no longer on the ‘Net.)

It was written by Stephen the Doggerel Pundit, and it’s below the fold for your perusal & enjoyment.

Here’s to Joanne!

Weep with us now for poor Mary O’Leary-
O’Dell-Hammond-Hargraves-Armbruster-Bevàn,
A victim of Seventies sur-naming theory
(The hyphening one), and her daughter Joanne.

The Feminist Movement decided this notion
Was surely the tonic to raise self esteem.
Invoking progenitor names is the potion,
And surely the faultiest sur-naming scheme.

(To cite an example; they can’t get a license,
A 401k or SS supplementary,
Or make application for credit card buys since
All database fields have their limits on entry).

Now, boosting self-worth with a moniker weary?
Nay, let her be known! Let her live with élan!
Not fake self-esteem from a tag like O’Leary-
O’Dell-Hammond-Hargraves-Armbruster-Bevàn.

Of all the solutions since offered by Sages,
The best for a daughter? Mom’s name only showing,
So millions of women live down through the ages
Their whole matrilineal history knowing.

Joanne is a seeker of character flawless,
To raise up her life, stand alone, and she can;
Not caring of names, she’s engaged to young Wallace,
Smith-Hollis-Gomez y Gonzalez—oy, man.

When wedding bells ring our conventions will call us
In toasting her day with raised glasses in hand:
“Ms. Wallace Smith-Hollis-Gomez y Gonzales
O’Leary-O’—hell with it! Here’s to Joanne!!”

Still gets a chuckle out of me, even ten years later.