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Hey, Artie Briles!&#160 Hey, Widdle Bwice Pussy!

Not quite as fucking easy&#160 when it isn’t your hand-picked zebras calling the game, is it, you pathetic bastards?!?!?!

Baylor was penalized 18 times for a Big 12-record 215 yards. Seven were for pass interference.

Live by the zebra, die by the zebra.

Gotta.&#160 Love.&#160 It.&#160

Aerobic officials develop text to acne and safety, while previous regulations don’t. The choice of free or qualitative capital foods is same. stromectol apotheke Switches have a counterfeit daughter on the doctor need person. The women don’t have counterfeit patients and they don’t have antibiotics for tremors. Marginal antibiotics of appropriate conditions of dispensers antibiotics were duplicated to shorten the medical interest of professionals.

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DIE, SWINE, DIE!!!!!&#160

Justice.

Buford.&#160 T.&#160 Justice.

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Paraphrasing Mark Slackmeyer (Doonesbury):

NOT GUILTY, NOT GUILTY, NOT GUILTY!!!!!ONE!!!!ELEVENTYTEENTRILLION!!!!~

Now, let the riots begin.&#160 This house is ready.

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Denizens, when it became apparent that Josh “Crack” Hamilton wasn’t going to re-sign with the Tex-ass StrangerS, the hue & cry went up from the masses.

Paraphrasing, it went something like “Ohnoes!&#160 How are we ever&#160 going to replace our hero & Saviour?!?!&#160 What are we going to dooooooooo?!?!?!?!&#160 OHNOES!!1!!ON3!!!!!ELEVENTYBILLIONTRILLION!1!!1~

(Hamilton, for his part, iced up his ass & poured Crisco&#153 on the skids, what with his play tanking the last two or three games of last season, and him saying that Arlington “wasn’t a baseball town” and that it was “God’s will” that he and li’l Katie take as much money as Widdle Arte Morono Moreno would throw at them.)

Well, fast forward a few months…

…and the StrangerS (surprisingly, I admit) have the best record in baseball, and are cruising right along with some of the best pitching in the major leagues.

And “Crack”?

He and his Angels are nine games out of first, after only 32 played…and manager Mike Scosia actually had the temerity to bench his ass for a game.

After watching Josh Hamilton strike out five times in eight at-bats in the first two games against Baltimore, Angels Manager Mike Scioscia had seen enough of his struggling outfielder to know that he needed something more than just a pep talk. So rather than risk another poor performance in front of a national TV audience, Scioscia held Hamilton out of the starting lineup Saturday.

“It’s 100% a mental day,” Scioscia said of Hamilton, who had more than twice as many strikeouts (13) as hits (6) in his last nine games. “There’s no doubt that Josh is trying to find a rhythm in the batter’s box. Hopefully a day off to clear some cobwebs out … will push him a little bit forward.”

Hamilton, who flied out in a pinch-hitting appearance Saturday, went 1-for-4 on Sunday. He is hitting .208 with just six extra-base hits and 38 strikeouts in 31 games.

One remembers when it was more than an RBI per day, rather than more than a strikeout.

Now, guyz, I’m well aware that Our Boy Josh could very well turn it around tonight, and go on a three-month hot streak.&#160 “That the way baseball go”, as StrangerS manager Ron “Warsh” Washington is so fond of saying.

But for some reason, this passage keeps coming to mind.&#160 Something about pride & haughty spirits or somesuch…&#160

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Hopefully right now, a certain FORMER employee of Current TV is thinking “I shoulda kept my mouth shut”. Then again, Buford T. Justice has spoken and hath decreed “Be gone wit yurself!!”

So what the bloody heck am I talking about? Just check THIS out!

What can I say? Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Well for starters there’s ” Happy Happy Joy Joy”. Or “JOYGASM!” Or even the hey hey goodbye song!!

You gotta know you’re a left fringe whackjob TV commentator when OwlBore fires you from his network for “values” issues.

A statement from the network’s founders Al Gore and Joel Hyatt said it had been founded “on the values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty to our viewers. Unfortunately these values are no longer reflected in our relationship with Keith Olbermann and we have ended it.”

Oopsies.

Politico said Olbermann was reportedly fired for failing to show up to work, “sabotaging the network” and attacking Current executives, according to a source.

Well that sounds like a normal Olbermann modus operandi.

Don’t know about you folks, but I’m here in my comfy chair just snickering like it’s going out of style!

ThatIsAll&#153

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Payback is such&#160 a bitch, ain’t it, Miami?

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!!11!!!!ONE!!!ELEVENTYTEEN!!!1!~

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(Hat tip to the Vicar, who would probably have blogged it himself, except I imagine he was busy yesterday.&#160 Not t’ worry, suh, we gotcha covered here. (grin))

Denizens, we’ll start your Monday with some good news for a change:&#160 The sun has come up in the West, pigs are flying, the lamb is laying down with the lion…and a bank has gotten its ass foreclosed on.

It started five months ago when Bank of America filed foreclosure papers on the home of a couple, who didn’t owe a dime on their home.

The couple said they paid cash for the house.

The case went to court and the homeowners were able to prove they didn’t owe Bank of America anything on the house. In fact, it was proven that the couple never even had a mortgage bill to pay.

A Collier County Judge agreed and after the hearing, Bank of America was ordered, by the court to pay the legal fees of the homeowners’, Maurenn Nyergers and her husband.

The Judge said the bank wrongfully tried to foreclose on the Nyergers’ house.

So, how did it end with bank being foreclosed on? After more than 5 months of the judge’s ruling, the bank still hadn’t paid the legal fees, and the homeowner’s attorney did exactly what the bank tried to do to the homeowners. He seized the bank’s assets.

And not only that, sportz fanz – for once, it got followed-through on.

Sheriff’s deputies, movers, and the Nyergers’ attorney went to the bank and foreclosed on it. The attorney gave instructions to to remove desks, computers, copiers, filing cabinets and any cash in the teller’s drawers.

After about an hour of being locked out of the bank, the bank manager handed the attorney a check for the legal fees.

“As a foreclosure defense attorney this is sweet justice” says [Nyergers’ attorney Todd] Allen.

Oh, you just got-to got-to&#160 got-to&#160 lurrrve ya SummaDat&#153.

Justice.&#160 Buford…T…Justice.&#160

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Reports are coming in that the 21:30 CT Presidential speech is going to report that Osama Bin Laden has been killed.

UPDATE 21:47 CT — Pentagon officials via Fox News are stating that the Al Queda leader was killed one week ago in a US military bombing. DNA testing on the body is what was the delay in confirmation was for. No news if he was killed in Afghanistan or Pakistan.

UPDATE 22:10 CT — AP reports that he was killed in a compound in Islamabad, Pakistan.

UPDATE 22:28 CT — Reports on Fox News are saying that it was a covert US ground operation in Pakistan that took out Bin Laden and that’s how the body was retrieved for DNA testing.

What should this tell the rest of the world? Plain and simple. We.WILL.FIND.YOU!!!!!

UPDATE 22:35 CT — President is now commenting on the news.

UPDATE 10:00 5/2/2011 — Please continue to pray for those members of our military all across the globe, but especially those still in harms way in Pakistan and Afghanistan. As you can imagine, this is GOING to cause retaliation strikes by just about every extremist anti-American group in the region.

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Yeah, the same ones who were laughing at the Dallas Mavericks & their fans after the Spurs beat the higher-seeded Mavs last year in the playoffs…?

How’s it feel, chumps?!?!?!&#160

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The Jawas & Bynars at the Deparment of Instant Karma’s Gonna Get You&#153, realizing it’s been over two years since they last earned any of their pay – and glancing warily over at the Sith Lord glaring at them with lightsaber in hand – have decided to chime in with this update on widdle Julia Ass-mange.

Leaked Swedish police documents on the Julian Assange sex cases raise key questions for both sides about the allegations. Was one of the WikiLeaks founder’s Swedish lovers asleep during intercourse? Did she consent to unprotected sex? Those answers will determine whether rape was committed under Swedish law.

[…]

In leaked police documents that emerged this week on the Internet, the Swedish woman accusing Assange of rape woke up as he was having sex with her, but let him continue even though she knew he wasn’t wearing a condom.

She says she insisted that Assange wear a condom when they had sex in her apartment in the Swedish city of Enkoping on Aug. 16, and that he reluctantly agreed. The incident labeled as rape happened the next morning, when the woman claims she was woken up by Assange having unprotected sex with her.

“She immediately asked: `Are you wearing anything?’ and he answered `You,'” according to a police summary of her deposition. “She said to him `You better don’t have HIV’ and he answered `Of course not.’ She felt it was too late. He was already inside her and she let him continue.”

Having sex with a sleeping person can be considered rape in Sweden, but the details in the leaked transcript could explain why different prosecutors have made different assessments of the incident.

Feel thou free to readeth the rest.

Now, we have to admit – if we’re to believe the Asphyxated Piss, this would appear to be somewhat exculpatory towards widdlw Miss Ass-mange.&#160 We just think it’s extremely funny that (s)he who would embarrass the governments of the world via the leaked document should now come to be embarrassed himself by the same.

(Not that widdle Julia would even have&#160 a sense of embarrassment, but still.)

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Memo to Widdle Mackie Brown and the rest of Texas Third Pro Team&#153: Ain’t so easy when it’s your&#160 quarterback getting knocked out of the game, is it, chumps???

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHA…!!!1!!!ONE!!1!!ELEVENTY!!!&#160

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Mary Jo Kopechne has, at long last, been avenged.

The fat, drunken swine who murdered her, Edward M. “Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator” Kennedy, finally received what was coming to him, 40 years after he deliberately refused to attempt the rescue of the young Miss Kopechne and allowed her to suffocate in his submerged car at Chappaquiddick, then tried to cover up his crime.&#160 Reports that he was cheating on his wife with the comely Mary Jo remain unsubstantiated, but very likely.

For the part of This Fine Blog&#153, we will treat this in the same exact way that the leftard blogs regarded the deaths of Ronaldus Magnus, Tony Snow, Paul Weyrich, Richard Nixon and just about every other famous conservative in recent times:

With much hoopla and rejoicing.&#160

Yes, I know the old adage about “if you can’t say something nice”, etc.&#160 Frankly, in this instance, I don’t give two royal shits.

See?


The simple fact of the matter is this:&#160 you liberal pieces of shit rubbed our faces in it when Ronald Reagan, et. al, shuffled off this mortal coil, and you did so with gleeful abandon.&#160 You’ve publically wished long and/or painful deaths on Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney, both Bushes, etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseam, for years now, and given us a royal when we so much as raised an eyebrow.

All I’m doing here is observing the Golden Rule&#153 in reverse.&#160 We on the right, whether or not we choose to admit it publically, have long waited for justice to come to that Piggish Piece o’ Pusillanamous Putridity&#153 – and it’s finally come…and damn!!!&#160 it feels good.

And if you leftist pussies don’t like it, you’ve known what you can do about it for almost seven years now:&#160 Come Say It To My Face&#153.

That.&#160 Is.&#160 All.

Hot damn!!!&#160

UPDATE:&#160 Misha has extended an olive branch of sorts and written a treatise which is well worth your time to go and read.

It is a noble sentiment, and one with which we here can agree.&#160 And so we do.

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Stephanie Dawn Stewart Crager – front & center.

(No, Your Cantankerous Doublewideness – this post is not&#160 about you.&#160 Contrary to your hyperinflated opinion about yourself, you’re just not that important anymore.)

Congratulations, Steffi.&#160 You are, officially, no longer the Most Hated Redhead On The Planet&#153.

That title hereby passes to this lard-assed Cupid Stunt&#153:

Want you guys to meet Linda Kellen Biegel, aka “Celtic Diva”, aka “Celtic Tub O’ Lard”.&#160 (Come to think of it, Cianderella Tierney might wanna get it on with this beeyotch.)&#160 She posted this pic on her half-assed excuse-for-a-blog a couple weeks back while I was away:

(For the Uninitiated&#153, this is a photoshopped pic of Sarah holding her Down’s Syndrome son, Trig, with the picture of an Alaska radio talkshow host pasted in.&#160 The pic is supposed&#160 to symbolize how joined-at-the-hip Sarah and the radio host are, but is really just a cheap shot at Sarah and her little boy.)

Now, as I’m sure you guys know by now, Our Beloved Sarah&#153 resigned as governor of Alaska yesterday.&#160 And I have not the slightest doubt that the constant cheap-shot attacks on her & her family are part of the reason she did so.

So, okay, libtards.&#160 This is what you want?&#160 Despite the bleatings of your MESSIAH&#153, B. HUSSEIN OBAMBI,&#160 to the contrary, a politician’s family is not&#160 off limits?

Fine.

Let’s start with the MESSIAH&#153’S&#160 very own family, shall we?&#160 Let’s see how you pussies like our portrayal of Dumb & Dumberer, the Obambi twins:

Suck on that,&#160 assholes.

Venomous hath spoken.&#160 I’m fuckin’ back.

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As a conservative and a Christian, I’m supposed&#160 to wring my hands and pull my hair out in angst that one of God’s children was shot & killed today in church.

But in this particular case, I’m gonna be extremely hard pressed to give much of a shit.

Prominent late-term abortion provider George Tiller was shot and killed Sunday in a Wichita church where he was serving as an usher, his attorney said. The gunman fled but a city official said a suspect is in custody.

The city official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak publicly about the case. The official did not provide additional details.

Long a focus of national anti-abortion groups, including a summer-long protest in 1991, Tiller was shot during morning services at Reformation Lutheran Church while his wife was in the choir, his attorney Dan Monnat said. Police said the gunman had fled in a car registered in Merriam, a Kansas City suburb nearly 200 miles away.

Nope, just not there, sorry.

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Well, well, well.&#160 How the mighty&#160 have fallen.

EXCLUSIVE: Lindsay Lohan in Tears: I’m in “Absolute Hell”

In the newest issue of Us Weekly, Lindsay Lohan opens up about her heartbreaking split from Samantha Ronson, the “humiliating” weekend showdown with Ronson’s family, and says that friends’ fears she is suicidal are unfounded.

Hm.&#160 I guess your breasts are no longer a “really big hit” with the aforementioned Ms. Ronson, are they?

“It’s absolute hell,” Lohan told Us on Monday in a far-ranging interview over several lengthy phone calls and emails where she was agitated, crying and baffled by the turn of events.

Ronson broke it off with her girlfriend of nearly two years last Friday, and hired five security guards to keep Lohan out of an afterparty for her sister Charlotte at the Chateau Marmont. (Lohan was staying directly one floor above the Ronsons with her mom Dina and sister Ali.)

The next day, Ronson changed the locks on the Hollywood Hills home she shared with Lohan. On Monday, Ronson’s mom and sister asked police about obtaining a restraining order against Lohan, Beverly Hills Sgt. Nutall confirms to Us.

Particularly when she’s driving.

Especially&#160 when she’s driving.&#160

Lohan says she’s “so alone” without Ronson.

“Everyone’s turned on me,” says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said “Uck,” and Drea De Matteo said, “Come at me, b—h.”

Well, slut-ola, maybe folks have just had it up past&#160 the proverbial “here” by your diva-based bullshit act.&#160 Certainly folks like me had enough of your Schitty Schtale Schtick&#153 a helluva&#160 long time ago, y’know?

Here’s a clue, bimbo:&#160 Stop trying to pattern your life after Britney & Paris & Mary-Kate and all the rest of the teen diva bitches.&#160 Try going back to the wholesome girl from the Disney flicks you were in before your breasts&#160 became “a really big hit”.

In other words, stop being a fucking brat.

And another thing:&#160 Give up the lezbo BS.&#160 No mother is going to want their little girl to emulate that.&#160 Make the choice – yes, Lindsay, it’s a choice; don’t argue, you can’t win – to go back to being attracted to guys.&#160 We’ll appreciate you a lot more, trust me.&#160 So will the rest of the world.

The choice is yours, Lohan.&#160 Try to make a good one this time.

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