Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________





Hey, Artie Briles!  Hey, Widdle Bwice Pussy!

Not quite as fucking easy  when it isn’t your hand-picked zebras calling the game, is it, you pathetic bastards?!?!?!

Baylor was penalized 18 times for a Big 12-record 215 yards. Seven were for pass interference.

Live by the zebra, die by the zebra.

Gotta.  Love.  It. 

_____________________________________________________





DIE, SWINE, DIE!!!!! 

Justice.

Buford.  T.  Justice.

_____________________________________________________





Paraphrasing Mark Slackmeyer (Doonesbury):

NOT GUILTY, NOT GUILTY, NOT GUILTY!!!!!ONE!!!!ELEVENTYTEENTRILLION!!!!~

Now, let the riots begin.  This house is ready.

_____________________________________________________





Denizens, when it became apparent that Josh “Crack” Hamilton wasn’t going to re-sign with the Tex-ass StrangerS, the hue & cry went up from the masses.

Paraphrasing, it went something like “Ohnoes!  How are we ever  going to replace our hero & Saviour?!?!  What are we going to dooooooooo?!?!?!?!  OHNOES!!1!!ON3!!!!!ELEVENTYBILLIONTRILLION!1!!1~

(Hamilton, for his part, iced up his ass & poured Crisco™ on the skids, what with his play tanking the last two or three games of last season, and him saying that Arlington “wasn’t a baseball town” and that it was “God’s will” that he and li’l Katie take as much money as Widdle Arte Morono Moreno would throw at them.)

Well, fast forward a few months…

…and the StrangerS (surprisingly, I admit) have the best record in baseball, and are cruising right along with some of the best pitching in the major leagues.

And “Crack”?

He and his Angels are nine games out of first, after only 32 played…and manager Mike Scosia actually had the temerity to bench his ass for a game.

After watching Josh Hamilton strike out five times in eight at-bats in the first two games against Baltimore, Angels Manager Mike Scioscia had seen enough of his struggling outfielder to know that he needed something more than just a pep talk. So rather than risk another poor performance in front of a national TV audience, Scioscia held Hamilton out of the starting lineup Saturday.

“It’s 100% a mental day,” Scioscia said of Hamilton, who had more than twice as many strikeouts (13) as hits (6) in his last nine games. “There’s no doubt that Josh is trying to find a rhythm in the batter’s box. Hopefully a day off to clear some cobwebs out … will push him a little bit forward.”

Hamilton, who flied out in a pinch-hitting appearance Saturday, went 1-for-4 on Sunday. He is hitting .208 with just six extra-base hits and 38 strikeouts in 31 games.

One remembers when it was more than an RBI per day, rather than more than a strikeout.

Now, guyz, I’m well aware that Our Boy Josh could very well turn it around tonight, and go on a three-month hot streak.  “That the way baseball go”, as StrangerS manager Ron “Warsh” Washington is so fond of saying.

But for some reason, this passage keeps coming to mind.  Something about pride & haughty spirits or somesuch… 

_____________________________________________________





Hopefully right now, a certain FORMER employee of Current TV is thinking “I shoulda kept my mouth shut”. Then again, Buford T. Justice has spoken and hath decreed “Be gone wit yurself!!”

So what the bloody heck am I talking about? Just check THIS out!

What can I say? Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Well for starters there’s ” Happy Happy Joy Joy”. Or “JOYGASM!” Or even the hey hey goodbye song!!

You gotta know you’re a left fringe whackjob TV commentator when OwlBore fires you from his network for “values” issues.

A statement from the network’s founders Al Gore and Joel Hyatt said it had been founded “on the values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty to our viewers. Unfortunately these values are no longer reflected in our relationship with Keith Olbermann and we have ended it.”

Oopsies.

Politico said Olbermann was reportedly fired for failing to show up to work, “sabotaging the network” and attacking Current executives, according to a source.

Well that sounds like a normal Olbermann modus operandi.

Don’t know about you folks, but I’m here in my comfy chair just snickering like it’s going out of style!

ThatIsAll™

_____________________________________________________





Payback is such  a bitch, ain’t it, Miami?

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!!11!!!!ONE!!!ELEVENTYTEEN!!!1!~

_____________________________________________________





(Hat tip to the Vicar, who would probably have blogged it himself, except I imagine he was busy yesterday.  Not t’ worry, suh, we gotcha covered here. (grin))

Denizens, we’ll start your Monday with some good news for a change:  The sun has come up in the West, pigs are flying, the lamb is laying down with the lion…and a bank has gotten its ass foreclosed on.

It started five months ago when Bank of America filed foreclosure papers on the home of a couple, who didn’t owe a dime on their home.

The couple said they paid cash for the house.

The case went to court and the homeowners were able to prove they didn’t owe Bank of America anything on the house. In fact, it was proven that the couple never even had a mortgage bill to pay.

A Collier County Judge agreed and after the hearing, Bank of America was ordered, by the court to pay the legal fees of the homeowners’, Maurenn Nyergers and her husband.

The Judge said the bank wrongfully tried to foreclose on the Nyergers’ house.

So, how did it end with bank being foreclosed on? After more than 5 months of the judge’s ruling, the bank still hadn’t paid the legal fees, and the homeowner’s attorney did exactly what the bank tried to do to the homeowners. He seized the bank’s assets.

And not only that, sportz fanz – for once, it got followed-through on.

Sheriff’s deputies, movers, and the Nyergers’ attorney went to the bank and foreclosed on it. The attorney gave instructions to to remove desks, computers, copiers, filing cabinets and any cash in the teller’s drawers.

After about an hour of being locked out of the bank, the bank manager handed the attorney a check for the legal fees.

“As a foreclosure defense attorney this is sweet justice” says [Nyergers' attorney Todd] Allen.

Oh, you just got-to got-to  got-to  lurrrve ya SummaDat™.

Justice.  Buford…T…Justice

_____________________________________________________





Reports are coming in that the 21:30 CT Presidential speech is going to report that Osama Bin Laden has been killed.

UPDATE 21:47 CT — Pentagon officials via Fox News are stating that the Al Queda leader was killed one week ago in a US military bombing. DNA testing on the body is what was the delay in confirmation was for. No news if he was killed in Afghanistan or Pakistan.

UPDATE 22:10 CT — AP reports that he was killed in a compound in Islamabad, Pakistan.

UPDATE 22:28 CT — Reports on Fox News are saying that it was a covert US ground operation in Pakistan that took out Bin Laden and that’s how the body was retrieved for DNA testing.

What should this tell the rest of the world? Plain and simple. We.WILL.FIND.YOU!!!!!

UPDATE 22:35 CT — President is now commenting on the news.

UPDATE 10:00 5/2/2011 — Please continue to pray for those members of our military all across the globe, but especially those still in harms way in Pakistan and Afghanistan. As you can imagine, this is GOING to cause retaliation strikes by just about every extremist anti-American group in the region.

_____________________________________________________





Yeah, the same ones who were laughing at the Dallas Mavericks & their fans after the Spurs beat the higher-seeded Mavs last year in the playoffs…?

How’s it feel, chumps?!?!?! 

_____________________________________________________





The Jawas & Bynars at the Deparment of Instant Karma’s Gonna Get You™, realizing it’s been over two years since they last earned any of their pay – and glancing warily over at the Sith Lord glaring at them with lightsaber in hand – have decided to chime in with this update on widdle Julia Ass-mange.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________





Memo to Widdle Mackie Brown and the rest of Texas Third Pro Team™: Ain’t so easy when it’s your  quarterback getting knocked out of the game, is it, chumps???

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHA…!!!1!!!ONE!!1!!ELEVENTY!!! 

_____________________________________________________





Mary Jo Kopechne has, at long last, been avenged.

The fat, drunken swine who murdered her, Edward M. “Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator” Kennedy, finally received what was coming to him, 40 years after he deliberately refused to attempt the rescue of the young Miss Kopechne and allowed her to suffocate in his submerged car at Chappaquiddick, then tried to cover up his crime.  Reports that he was cheating on his wife with the comely Mary Jo remain unsubstantiated, but very likely.

For the part of This Fine Blog™, we will treat this in the same exact way that the leftard blogs regarded the deaths of Ronaldus Magnus, Tony Snow, Paul Weyrich, Richard Nixon and just about every other famous conservative in recent times:

With much hoopla and rejoicing. 

Yes, I know the old adage about “if you can’t say something nice”, etc.  Frankly, in this instance, I don’t give two royal shits.

See?


The simple fact of the matter is this:  you liberal pieces of shit rubbed our faces in it when Ronald Reagan, et. al, shuffled off this mortal coil, and you did so with gleeful abandon.  You’ve publically wished long and/or painful deaths on Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney, both Bushes, etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseam, for years now, and given us a royal when we so much as raised an eyebrow.

All I’m doing here is observing the Golden Rule™ in reverse.  We on the right, whether or not we choose to admit it publically, have long waited for justice to come to that Piggish Piece o’ Pusillanamous Putridity™ – and it’s finally come…and damn!!!  it feels good.

And if you leftist pussies don’t like it, you’ve known what you can do about it for almost seven years now:  Come Say It To My Face™.

That.  Is.  All.

Hot damn!!! 

UPDATE:  Misha has extended an olive branch of sorts and written a treatise which is well worth your time to go and read.

It is a noble sentiment, and one with which we here can agree.  And so we do.

_____________________________________________________





Stephanie Dawn Stewart Crager – front & center.

(No, Your Cantankerous Doublewideness – this post is not  about you.  Contrary to your hyperinflated opinion about yourself, you’re just not that important anymore.)

Congratulations, Steffi.  You are, officially, no longer the Most Hated Redhead On The Planet™.

That title hereby passes to this lard-assed Cupid Stunt™:

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________





As a conservative and a Christian, I’m supposed  to wring my hands and pull my hair out in angst that one of God’s children was shot & killed today in church.

But in this particular case, I’m gonna be extremely hard pressed to give much of a shit.

Prominent late-term abortion provider George Tiller was shot and killed Sunday in a Wichita church where he was serving as an usher, his attorney said. The gunman fled but a city official said a suspect is in custody.

The city official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak publicly about the case. The official did not provide additional details.

Long a focus of national anti-abortion groups, including a summer-long protest in 1991, Tiller was shot during morning services at Reformation Lutheran Church while his wife was in the choir, his attorney Dan Monnat said. Police said the gunman had fled in a car registered in Merriam, a Kansas City suburb nearly 200 miles away.

Nope, just not there, sorry.

_____________________________________________________





Well, well, well.  How the mighty  have fallen.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________

« Previous Articles    
_______________
 
 
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Spatula City BBS! was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.