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Oh, I’d really like to see them try this.

Stephen Hockman QC is proposing a body similar to the International Court of Justice in The Hague to be the supreme legal authority on issues regarding the environment.

The first role of the new body would be to enforce international agreements on cutting greenhouse gas emissions set to be agreed next year.

But the court would also fine countries or companies that fail to protect endangered species or degrade the natural environment and enforce the “right to a healthy environment”.

The fact that we have a spineless, ball-less, dickless excuse-for-an-administration coming to occupy the White House notwithstanding, I’d really  like to see the Hague send people to come and collect those fines.

They’d collect metallic objects, all right – but they wouldn’t be coins.


Oh, my & merciful heavens.

If there is any  semblance of truth to this, there are some police that need to not only lose their badges, but their lives.

But what angered Mr D’Souza almost as much were the masses of armed police hiding in the area who simply refused to shoot back. “There were armed policemen hiding all around the station but none of them did anything,” he said. “At one point, I ran up to them and told them to use their weapons. I said, ‘Shoot them, they’re sitting ducks!’ but they just didn’t shoot back.”

There are few things worse than an armed official who, when charged with a duty to protect, refuses.

Special place in Hell for asscrusts like that.


Lemme get this straight:  We liberate their country, get rid of Hussein and his boys, let them have their say in who their leaders are, and this is the thanks we get?

Y’know, a helluva lotta Donktards kept bitching that all the war in Iraq was about was oil, that all we wanted to do was control the oil.  I’m starting to think that’s what we shoulda done in the first place.


This brief edition of the Perfect Football Weekend starts by noting that Donna McCrabbs, The World’s Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever™, got his ass benched in a loss to the Baltimore Ravens last Sunday.

Breaks our ever-lovin’ heart, it does. 

Now, it says here that Donna will start tonight against the Arizona Cardinals, but this humble scribe (*cough*) says that the writing’s on the wall for Fat-Assed Wilma’s Campbell Chunky Soup©-eating baby boy.

Memo to backup Kevin Kolb:  Start warming up now.

On to the PFW.  TCU’s done until the bowl, but I still have four teams in the hunt.

As you know, it’s the annual Thanksgiving Day game in Dallas today.  This year, the Seahags of Seattle and their excuse-for-a- running back, Jewels Jones, come a-callin’ to Texas Stadium in that venue’s final-ever Turkey Day classic.  Seattle’s 2-10, so normally I wouldn’t worry about this one – but they have Matt Hasselbeck, and Dallas…well…Dallas has that secondary.


My dessert tomorrow will be my fingernails.

Friday, Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls have what I think is their  last game until bowl season when they host Kent State.  I don’t think we’d need the SpatulaLine™, even if we still had it – I think the Bulls win this with relative ease.

Also Friday, Bo Pelini’s Nebraska Cornhuskers are an 18-point favorite at home against the woeful Colorado Buffaloes.  This’ll be closer than UBuff-Kent State, but as long as Joey Ganz can hit the broad side of a barn, NU shouldn’t have too much trouble.

Saturday is Bedlam Day™ in the state of Oklahoma, as the third-ranked Sooners pay a visit to Sweetwater to take on the 11th-ranked Oklahoma State Cowboys.

Now, in theory, since Texas Tech destroyed Okie State, then in turn got demolished by OU, this shouldn’t be close.  But Vegas has the Sooners only as a seven-point road favorite, so let’s at least see the first half before making any predictions.  I think OU will win, to be sure, but I’m not gonna bet the farm, if you know what I mean.

Assuming our heads aren’t still overdosing on L-tryptophan from all the turkey, we might have the recap for you Sunday.  Then again, as you already know, this scribe’s on vacation, so I’ll get to it when I bloody well feel like it. 


(Yeah, it’s a rerun of a rerun.  Of a rerun.  Bite Sue me, mkay?  I’m busy cooking. )

I first penned (penned?) this screed (g) on 11/17/01.  I thought it appropriate, it being Thanksgiving and all, to jot down a list of those things for which I was thankful.  This year, the tradition continues, below the fold, again with only a few minor tweaks:

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


It’s that there time again, Denizens.

Those of you who’ve been with me all these years know by now what this means:

Beginning today, other than posts which have already been scheduled, you may or may not see anything come from this keyboard, because I am freakin’ ON VACATION, BABY!!!

May go fishing, may not.  Still have to see.  Watch this space.



Well, at least now she knows how we feel about her.


Denizens, I have three major posts to work on – well, two majors and a minor, anyway (grin) – so between now and Thursday, there’ll probably be a lot of Grab-Bag™ stuff.

It’ll still be good, don’t get me wrong – but you’ll probably have seen it before.

(General, if you have anything original, now’d be a good time.)



Oh, this is just perfect.

Fort Lupton Municipal Judge Paul Sacco says his novel punishment of forcing noise violators to listen to music they don’t like for one hour has cut down on the number of repeat offenders in this northwestern Colorado prairie town.

About four times a year, those guilty of noise ordinance violations are required to sit in a room and listen to music from the likes of Manilow, Barney the Dinosaur, and The Platters’ crooning “Only You”.

I could think of some gangsta rappers in their cars around here to whom I’d like to do that.

Justice.  Buford.  T.  Justice.

Is this a great country or what? 


I see here that the Union Of Mentally, Psychologically, Emotionally And Politically Challenged People Who Earn Money By Reading Other Peoples’ Writings™ is about to go on strike.

The Screen Actors Guild said Saturday it will ask its members to authorize a strike after its first contract talks in four months with Hollywood studios failed despite the help of a federal mediator.

Federal mediator Juan Carlos Gonzalez adjourned the talks between SAG and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers shortly before 1 a.m. after two marathon sessions failed to produce an agreement. No new talks are scheduled.

The SAG, representing more than 120,000 actors in movies, television and other media, said in a statement that it will launch a “full-scale education campaign in support of a strike authorization.”

All together now…


Memo to TTech fans:  Ouch.

at #15 Texas Christian 44, Air Force 10

UBuffalo 40, at Bowling Green 34 (2OT)

at #6 Oklahoma 65, #2 Texas Tech 21

at Dallas 35, San Francisco 22

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


As promised, Denizens, here are the answers to yesterday’s quiz:

Answers To Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends Boxing

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward. Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside. Strawberry.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

6. Three English words beginning with dw. Dwarf, dwell and dwindle. (Isn’t “Dweeb” a word?)

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. Lettuce..

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with “S”: Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

HDD got most of them completely right. 


Denizens, I’m going to be fairly busy pretty much all weekend.  The Frogs play early this afternoon, and then there’ll be a strategy session with the Sibling Unit™ over logistics regarding Thanksgiving.

(Incidentally, there’s going to be a ton of food, so if any of you guys are close, gimme an RSVP and we can either find room for you that day, or you can help us eat leftovers on some day subsequent thereto.  (“Afterwards”, in plain, non-Spatulaesque-legalese English.  ))

Anyway, because the schedule sucks this weekend, we’re going to the Grab-Bag™ and getting this quiz, which has been submitted by the Mothergoose from Denton™.

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn’t. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine, it hasn’t been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters “dw” and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter “S.”

If you think you know any of these, feel free.  Make sure you put the right question number by your response.

Answers tomorrow.


Denizens, it’s now been 10 long years since I made what is probably the Mistake Of My Life™ and married that doublewide fatassed trollop in East Texas.

But this post isn’t for you guys, it’s for her.  Therefore, feel free to bypass this and go straight to the PFW post below.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


Denizens, we start this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend by yet again ripping into the Ayatollah Obambi – this time for sticking his jug-eared skank ass where it doesn’t belong – namely, the college football playoff debate.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


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