Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

Those of you who haven’t been living under a rock know that the scandal – and let’s face it; it is&#160 now Yet Another Scandal&#153 surrounding Al-Obambi – has reached near epidemic proportions.&#160 Even Huffington’s Compost is screaming for the Ayatollah to release it.

Confederate Yankee says it best here:

Officials in Hawaii have confirmed that the original, long-form paper birth certificate filled out at the time of President Obama’s birth exists. The President can easily ask them to release a copy of the document to the media to be photographed at high resolution, where it can be posted on news web sites and blogs around the word and debated and parsed, ultimately shutting down all but the most fringe elements of the debate, those that still believe that 9/11 was an inside job and that Ron Paul would have made a good President.

Except, CY, instead of simply picking up a phone and making a phone call, B. HUSSEIN!!!!!&#160 Obambi has spent millions of dollars to lawyers in a desperate attempt to keep the bloody thing from being brought to light.

Almost as if the Ayatollah were highly desperate to keep certain eyes from seeing its contents.

So let the pussies call me a “birther”.&#160 Not that they’d ever do that to my face (remember, we are&#160 dealing with Demoscummic cowards here), but still.

Shut us up, Bambi.&#160 Show us the birth certificate.

I fuckin’ dare&#160 ya.&#160

I’m sorry, guys, but Alan K. Henderson, our Friend & Fellow Denizen&#153, simply Does Not Have Enough To Do&#153.

Cute Overload&#153.&#160 Silly Overload&#153.&#160 Both.&#160 Aaaaaiiiiiiiggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!1!!ONE!!!1!!!ELEVENTY!!!!!1!&#160

Weirdest thing today.

Going into the convenience store after filling up the car.&#160 Here comes this hot-as-Hell Asian babe.&#160 Halter top, skinny jeans, six-inch pink heels.&#160 Exits the store, turns and throws something towards the trash can.

Something that made a decided clink&#160 sound.

I look.&#160 Some of it may have actually gone in the can, but what she had thrown down was 36 cents.&#160 Quarter, dime, penny.

Couldn’t resist.

“You always throw money away like that?”

“I just don’t like pennies.”

“Must not like quarters or dimes, either.”

She started a bit, but kept going on her way.

Hey, I ain’t proud.&#160 But I am 36 cents richer tonight.&#160

[SCENE:&#160 Deep space.&#160 In the abyss, somewhere in the vicinity of the Orion Sector, hangs ISS Titanic, dead in space.&#160 Life support is intact, but precious little else is functioning.&#160 The nacelles of the mighty dreadnaught do not even so much as glow, the engines having suffered catastrophic failure two days out of Realm&#153 spacedock.

Cut to the interior.&#160 In the cavernous Engineering section, the wizard Merlin, several jawas, a Klingon or two and a few Bynars are writhing in extreme pain, the crackling energy of a host of purple-white lightning bolts washing over them.

Standing about three feet away, the source of these lightning bolts, Lord Darth Venomous, hovers over them all, a severely agitated countenance on his visage.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 ‘Ready for all modes of flight’, eh, you fucking p’tahk’mey?????&#160 I’ll show you what’s ‘ready for all modes of flight’!!!!!

[His anger partially spent, Venomous ceases the lightning bolts.&#160 He turns to tactical officer K’hadibak’h, standing a few feet to one side.&#160 Anger is still very present on His Rudeness’ face.]1

VENOMOUS:&#160 K’ha, have them all join Captain Korrioth in the Agony Booth&#153. The full duration!

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 (nodding vigourously) Yes, m’lord!

—

Denizens, Time Warner Cable has failed me…and I only wish I could say it was for the last time. (sigh)

Main communications are down until at least tomorrow.&#160 Any rants will have to be made from the laptop in the car.

That’s all.&#160 Carry on.

[SCENE:&#160 On the bridge of the new Realm&#153 monstrosity, Titanic.&#160 While Pegasus&#160 is in spacedock awaiting repair after her massive crippling, all her senior staff has transferred to this massive dreadnaught in advance of her maiden voyage.

But all is not sunny-side-up in her command center.&#160 Supreme General Rayegun and Captain Korrioth are engaged in a…uh…slight discussion.]

RAYEGUN:&#160 For the last time, Captain, you are not&#160 taking this ship out until you have achieved flag rank.&#160 And as long as I&#160 rule this government, as far as I’m concerned, it’ll be a cold day in Hell before you do!

KORRIOTH:&#160 And I tell you, General&#160 – I have my orders.&#160 Titanic&#160 launches in two hours.

RAYEGUN:&#160 Not without a flag-rank officer it isn’t, you flea-bitten p’takh!

[Korrioth’s eyes flash at the insult, but he lets it go.&#160 Out of the corner of his eye, the turbolift doors open as Rayegun continues his rant.]

RAYEGUN:&#160 And since I’m headed back to the Southern Command to train my new General, there is no flag-rank officer to take the conn!&#160 And I’ll fire on this vessel if I see her in space without an appropriate command hierarchy in place, do you understand, Captain?!?!?!

[What they hear next makes both men jump two feet in the air]

OFFSTAGE VOICE:&#160 That will not be necessary, General.

[From the turbolift emerges a hooded figure with a slow-but-purposeful stride.&#160 From under the hood, one can see two bright flashes of purple.]

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 I relieve you, sir.

[Rayegun can only stand there, agape.]

RAYEGUN:&#160 I…I…ah…

[Korrioth is quicker to recover, motioning to tactical officer K’hadibak’h.

KORRIOTH:&#160 He stands relieved.&#160 [to K’hadibak’h] Escort the General to his vessel and ensure that it is prepped for departure.

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Yes, m’lord!

KORRIOTH:&#160 Thank you.&#160 [to the hooded figure] Welcome back, Admiral.

[The figure removes his hood – and, as expected, it is His Rudeness, Lord Darth Venomous, now fully recovered.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Thank you, Captain.&#160 Report.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Still on schedule for launch, m’lord.&#160 All systems online & functioning normally.&#160 Our new engineer reports the warp drive is properly mixed and ready for all flight modes.

VENOMOUS:&#160 It had better be, Captain.&#160 And tell Mr. Merlin that this is only until we groom McCool’s replacement.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Perhaps we should avoid mentioning Ozy for a few weeks yet, Admiral.&#160 Merlin took his death harder than most.

VENOMOUS:&#160 (nods) Yes.&#160 Point, Mr. Korrioth.&#160 No need to antagonize the wizard any further.&#160 What else?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Oh, and your lightsaber is in your quarters, as per your instructions.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Excellent, Captain.&#160 That is where I’ll be until my presence is required.&#160 Keep me apprised.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Aye, sir.

[Venomous turns and heads into the turbolift.]

(To be continued…)

(Hat tip:&#160 Patterico.)

Looks like the Hahvahd Racist&#153 is now adopting the tried & true Demoscummic line:&#160 “Let’s move on.”

Black Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. says he’s ready to move on from his arrest by a white police officer, hoping to use the encounter to improve fairness in the criminal justice system

Because, as we all know, if the criminal justice system is to be fair, no black man is to ever be arrested, ever.&#160 Even if he’s there at the scene, holding the murder weapon, the victim’s blood dripping from his hand.

Because to do so, y’know – well, that would be RAAAAAAAAAAAAAACISSSSSSST!!!!!

and saying “in the end, this is not about me at all.”

Rule Of Thumb&#153 number 35,269:&#160 If they say it’s not about them, trust me – it’s about them.

After a phone call from President Barack Obama urging calm in the aftermath of his arrest last week, Gates said he would accept Obama’s invitation to the White House for a beer with him and Cambridge police Sgt. James Crowley.

In a statement posted Friday on The Root, a Web site Gates oversees, the scholar said he told Obama he’d be happy to meet with Crowley, whom Gates had accused of racial profiling.

“I told the president that my principal regret was that all of the attention paid to his deeply supportive remarks during his press conference had distracted attention from his health care initiative,” Gates said. “I am pleased that he, too, is eager to use my experience as a teaching moment, and if meeting Sergeant Crowley for a beer with the president will further that end, then I would be happy to oblige.”

Interesting change of tone here.&#160 Wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that, after he laid down this pile of shitty behavior, he then proceeded to step in it?

Gates: I would love to meet with Sgt Crowley …

King: Really?

Gates: I would love for him to look me in the eye and say ‘Professor Gates, I am sorry. I am sorry for the way I treated you. I am sorry for the fabrications I..I had to put in that report. And if he’s sincere, I would forgive him as a human being.

So what we now have, sportz fanz, is not only did that son-of-a-bitch Gates accuse Sgt. Crowley of racism, he’s now&#160 accused him of being a liar, to boot.

If I were Crowley, I’d stay as far away from that “meeting” as humanly possible.&#160 (I’d also change my registration to Republican, but that’s another post.)&#160 Then, when asked about it, I’d say, “Sorry, I don’t drink with assclowns who call me a liar.”

But that’s just me.

Feel like crap tonight, so I wasn’t gonna post anything.&#160 But I do&#160 have one question:

Who the fuck is Henry Louis Gates?

By now you guys know the story:&#160 Cop responds to call about break-in, finds black man trying to jimmy a door that, apparently, had been jimmied once before.

(Which raises the question “so why did it have to be jimmied again?”, but that’s another post.)

Cop proceeds to question black man, who – it turns out – is the legal resident.&#160 (Not the owner, just the legal resident.)&#160 Black man becomes belligerent & disorderly, which interferes with the cop’s ability to properly handle the situation.&#160 Cop proceeds to arrest the black man; black man keeps screaming “RACISMRACISMRACISM!!!!!&#153” like the fifth little piggie squealing all the way home.

The Grand Ayatollah, B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi, goes out of his way during a failed press conference about health care to criticize the Cambridge, MA police department, calling them “stupid” in the process.&#160 Obambi alienates all the cops in America in so doing.

And he says this DESPITE&#160 admitting at the beginning of his answer that he didn’t have all the facts.

Which is, presumably, the exact reason Jugears McHopenchange opened his skanky piehole in the first place.

What a national embarassment.&#160 I never thought we’d find anyone worse than Peanuthead, but damned if he didn’t just spill in our laps like a barrel of toxic waste.

Dumb son-of-a-bitch.

I would like to take this brief moment to thank all of you here for perusing my rants and raves posted here. With my impending nuptials, I will be out-of-pocket and intentionally avoiding the Blogosphere (you understand and all) while the General and his new Generalette do a little celebrating at an undisclosed location somewhere west of the West Coast.

Don’t worry, the Southern Command will be in good hands and a select unit of my black, unmarked, stealth helicopters (okay so we “borrowed” some unreleased UH-66s from the Army Proving Grounds) will be on patrol at said undisclosed location so your General will not be THAT far away from contact with the real world.

For those interested, the wedding is Saturday night, the 25th. We will then be flying out early the next morning for said honeymoon. I will be back at my desk bright and early on August 3rd.

One final thought. Folks, it’s getting really farking stoopid out there with Al-Obambi and his Congr…errr, Harem……ummm I mean cronies….yeah, that’s the ticket. With Biden gaffing that government HAS to spend in order to avoid bankruptcy on one day and Al-Obambi The MESSIAH cackling “It’s not about me” the next….seriously, how far away can a true meltdown be? Between ACORN and their cohorts at the union SEIU and their only slightly-veiled attempt to utterly overwhelm the welfare and entitlement establishment in order to topple capitalism, and the “change” of forcing socialism left and right and nearly everywhere else you turn….unless us folks with an ounce of common sense left speak up, what Revelations predicts in that the USA will not be a major player in the world will indeed become a shocking reality. In OUR TIME no less. I certainly don’t want that to happen now, but it IS going to happen none the less. That is not for us to decide.

I and the Generalette-to-be would like to extend our blessings and prayers to all of you. We both hope each of you are safe and well, and thank those who have prayed for us.

ThatIsAll&#153

We all know that the Al-Obambi guvmint “really doesn’t want to be in the car business” as Jugears McHopenchange Messiah himself bespoke some few days ago. Wellllll, the crack super-duper secret intelligentsia folks here at the Southern Command have unearthed some spy shots of just what we’ll all be FORCED to drive soon.

You HAVE been warned.

SPEW warnings that is.

It seems they have reported that this “new” lineup of cars really isn’t all that new. The new cars seem to be based on this chassis and frame:

I know, I know. You’re over there on the other side of the monitor screaming “WHAT ABOUT CHOICE GENERAL!!!” Fear not denizen, Guvmint Motors got choice. Check out these FANTASTIC picks:

The Smorvette

The Smaudi A3 AWD

The Smamborghini

The Smorsche

The Smerrari

And last, but certainly not the least:

The Smustang

Stay tuned for more new cars from *YOUR* Guvmint Motors!

H/T for this goes to the Southern Command distinguished visitor Markie Mark.

Reminder: You HAVE been warned.

(Hat tip Michelle, who got it from Jammie Wearing Fool.)

The Ayatollah Obambi is saying about this damnfool healthcare notion he has that “it’s not about [him].”

O RLY?

A telling episode recounted by Senate Finance ranking member Charles Grassley reveals the Obama administration might be more worried than they are letting on that a Republican senator’s comparison of the healthcare overhaul to Waterloo might be dangerously close to the truth.

Grassley said he spoke with a Democratic House member last week who shared Obama’s bleak reaction during a private meeting to reports that some factions of House Democrats were lining up to stall or even take down the overhaul unless leaders made major changes.

“Let’s just lay everything on the table,” Grassley said. “A Democrat congressman last week told me after a conversation with the president that the president had trouble in the House of Representatives, and it wasn’t going to pass if there weren’t some changes made … and the president says, ‘You’re going to destroy my presidency.’ “

Gee, Jugears – you say that like it’s a Bad Thing&#153.

“Not about you”, my lily-white cracker ass.

Y’know, Denizens, if the mob were doing this, it would be called a shakedown.

Americans who refuse to buy affordable medical coverage could be hit with fines of more than $1,000 under a health care overhaul bill unveiled Thursday by key Senate Democrats looking to fulfill President Barack Obama’s top domestic priority.

The Congressional Budget Office estimated the fines will raise around $36 billion over 10 years. Senate aides said the penalties would be modeled on the approach taken by Massachusetts, which now imposes a fine of about $1,000 a year on individuals who refuse to get coverage. Under the federal legislation, families would pay higher penalties than individuals.

Yeah, well, that’s MassaChewsShits, where the numerous oxygen wasters keep sending a murderer back to the Senate, every six years, and a war “veteran” whose only contribution to the effort was to shoot a fleeing Vietnamese in the back.&#160 You can piss on their backs, tell them it’s raining and they’ll not have the balls to challenge you on it.

In a revamped health care system envisioned by lawmakers, people would be required to carry health insurance just like motorists must get auto coverage now. The government would provide subsidies for the poor and many middle-class families, but those who still refuse to sign up would face penalties.

Called “shared responsibility payments,” the fines would be set at least half the cost of basic medical coverage, according to the legislation.

Presumably, the IRS will be conducting these Fourth Amendment-violating searches for those insurance deadbeats.&#160 They force you to prove you’re in a qualifying (read:&#160 approved by Obambi) plan, and if not – boom! fine!!!

I for one can’t think of a better reason to see about refusing to pay my taxes, can you?

Mark my words – most Congresscritters who vote for this will be forced out of office.

One way or another, and by any means necessary.

Let’s get your week started with this little gem (I’d give the hat tip, but I forgot where I got it):

(With appropriate apologies to Yogi & the duck.&#160 &#160 )

Or, at least, you might not care as much.

The Nose On Your Face&#160 has this great video to help you get through your Sunday.

Enjoy!

(Hat tip to Dan Riehl.)

Walter Cronkite, the so-called “most trusted man in America” is dead at the age of 92.

My mother once said that if you couldn’t say anything nice about a Communist-sympathizing, Al-Qaida-loving, anti-American son-of-a-bitch asswipe who wanted to see the United States lose every war in which it ever found itself, then don’t say anything.

So I think I’ll say that Walter Cronkite died and leave it at that.

Time for yet another WITY&#153.

Remember, Denizens, when I said (and I quote):

Translation: “How long are you bodathious brutethhhh in the Fort Worth Polithe Department going to let uth beat you with our pink feather boathhh until you thurrender and admit that you’re nothing but duthky homophobic devilth in bwue and let uth thwithh around with your headth on piketh like trophiethhhh?”

Sure enough.

Hot Links: TABC admits fault in FW gay-bar raid

Admits&#160 fault?&#160 More like they were browbeaten&#160 with the aforementioned pink feather boas into admitting it.

1. Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission boss Alan Steen says his agents committed “clear violations” of policy during the controversial recent gay-bar raid in Fort Worth, the Dallas Voice reports. The agents’ supervisor has retired amid an internal investigation.

Fucking spineless pissweasel.

Shame that wasn’t me.&#160 I’d’ve told them this:&#160 “Panties in a wad, heterophobinas?&#160 If you don’t shut your swishy little pieholes about it, I’ll be ever-so-happy to schedule a raid like this every fuckin’ night&#160 if I have to.&#160 So shut up and dive back into your pink-triangle rainbow closet, limp-wrists!”

‘Course, that’s just me, and I tend to have a thing against whiny little weenies like the faggots over at the Rainbow.