Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________





(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess – long may she exude, etc, etc.&#160 )

I’m always loathe to quote Politico – but I think this is Damn Fine Stuff&#153 – even if it is&#160 by Benji “Lips Firmly Planted On Obambi’s ass” Smith.

House minority leader John Boehner’s spokesman confirms the accuracy of this quote, from an Ohio student newspaper:

“Now, listen, I’ve voted ‘present’ two or three times in my entire 25-year political career, where there might have been a conflict of interest and I didn’t feel like I should vote,” Boehner said. “In Congress, we have a red button, a green button and a yellow button, alright. Green means ‘yes,’ red means ‘no,’ and yellow means you’re a chicken s***.

“And the last thing we need in the White House, in the oval office, behind that big desk, is some chicken who wants to push this yellow button.”

My only question is:&#160 Where the Hell&#153 was this three months ago when we needed it?&#160

_____________________________________________________





Well, no, not really.&#160 Your obdt. svt. (a little Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) was out like the proverbial light & dead to the world.&#160 But it appears the earth did&#160 move last night.

Two minor earthquakes shook the Dallas-Fort Worth area overnight, waking residents, setting off car alarms and spooking pets. But no major damage was reported.

The U.S. Geological Survey says a 2.5-magnitude earthquake centered in the Grand Prairie area was reported at 11:25 p.m. Thursday. A slightly stronger 3.0-magnitude quake centered in the Irving area occurred 36 minutes later.

And no, Mr. Hartung – I may have been Chick Chasing&#153 last night, but that doesn’t mean I caught one…

MERLIN, KORRIOTH, K’HADIBAK’H, OZY, T-BONE:&#160

VENOMOUS:&#160 Oh, hush, you.

_____________________________________________________





Ace is reporting (through Cold Fury) that ’70s reject Erica “Fear of Thinking” Jong is threatening riots if B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi loses on Tuesday.

I got four words:

Bring.&#160 It.&#160 On.&#160 Bee-yotches.&#160

_____________________________________________________





While doing a little Chick Chasing&#153 today, I came across this.

Spew warnings.

One evening Mike went over to his friend Terry’s house to play cards with some friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry’s wife. Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he looked across the table he saw that Terry’s wife had her legs open and no panties on. He sat up and was flushed. He went into the kitchen to get a drink of water.

To his surprise Terry’s wife had followed him into the kitchen and said, “Did you like what you saw?” Mike said “Yes I did.” She said, Well you can get more than that but it will cost you $500.”

So Mike thought about this financial situation and said, “O.K.” She said, “Come here tomorrow at 2:30 because Terry will be at work then.” Mike said, “I’ll see you then.”

The next day, Mike came over, they had sex, he paid her, then he left. Later, Terry came home and asked, “Has Mike been over here today?” She said, thinking she had been caught, “As a matter of fact, he did.”

Terry said, “Good because that fool came by my job this morning and asked to borrow $500 till this evening, and he said he would leave it with you.”

_____________________________________________________





And we thought Das Klintonreich went after its enemies.

The goons of B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi, in their daily roles of governmental flunkies & hacks, have been poring over more of Joe The Plumber&#153’s records than was first thought.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________





I have performed my civic duty.&#160 I have voted.

And I have voted the straight Republican ticket, with one notable exception:&#160 I did not cast a ballot for United States Senator.

If you will recall, I declared here that John-Boy Bailout&#153 had permanently lost my vote.

And you have, Cornyn, you duplicitous dickweed.&#160 If you want to live in socialism, feel free to move to Canada.&#160 Or Cuba.&#160 Or Venezuela.&#160 Or whereever.

But you see, Cor-Whore, we have a capitalistic society here, with an economic system comprised of an archaic, quaint concept called “free enterprise”.&#160 That concept dictates that you have the opportunity to make as much money as you can doing whatever legal activity you choose – but you assume a risk that no one will want to buy what you’re selling.

In other words, Cor-Whore, there are no guarantees.&#160 But you voted for just such a guarantee, to come out of my&#160 pocket, and that is why you will never have my trust – or my vote – ever again.

Best of luck to the rest of the GOP ticket.&#160 Qa’pla!

_____________________________________________________





Guys, as we launch this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153, I want you guys to take a look at this video:





What happened was that Singletary got in 49ers’ tight end Vernon Davis’ face during the Niners’ embarrassing 34-13 loss to the Seattle Seahawks, then wound up sending Davis to the locker room later.&#160 “Coach Sing”, as he’s known out there, was pissed off at Davis’ seeming nonchalant attitude about the game.

Now, for decades I have hated this franchise with the purplest of passions, as evidenced by my pet name for them – the San Transexual Fairy-Whiners.

But in Singletary, I have to concede that they have one helluva&#160 coach.&#160 And by Cthulu’s left nut, I wish Jerry Jones had hired him.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________





Well, Denizens, looks like B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi and Senator Hair-Butt-Plugs are going to get their wish a little sooner than they’d expected.&#160 Like, say, a week before the election.

North Korea threatened Tuesday to turn South Korea into “debris” in an unusually strong statement that demanded Seoul halt what the communist state called its policy of confrontation.

It was issued amid worsening relations between the Koreas, with the North angry about anti-Pyongyang leaflets floated across the border by activists and defector groups based in the South.

That’s really all we need RightAboutNow&#153.&#160 Wars going on in two theatres, a pansy-assed Communist limp-wrist on the cusp of illegally occupying the White House (which may or may not bring yet another war in yet another theatre), and now N.Korea’s on the verge of forcing NATO’s hand.

And does anyone want to start a pool on China moving on Taiwan shortly thereafter?

“The puppet authorities (Seoul) had better bear in mind that the advanced pre-emptive strike of our own style will reduce everything… to debris, not just setting them on fire,” the North’s military said.

“It will turn out to be a just war… to build an independent reunified state on it,” it added in a statement carried by the state news agency.

Translation:&#160 “We’re going to bomb the shit out of Seoul, and you’re just going to watch, American dogs, and not do a fucking&#160 thing about it.”

And, given who’s about to occupy the White House, it’s a safe bet that they’re bang-on.&#160 The Manchurian Muslim&#153 is probably creaming his jeans with that needle-dick of his over it this very minute.

And a large number of you couldn’t care less, because you jutht hate Boooothh.&#160 Don’t you?&#160 I mean, it doesn’t matter to any of you Oprah-worshippers out there that a potential world war is about to be starting halfway across the globe, and you imbeciles want that jug-eared, dickless wonder at the helm of State instead of a former military man – no, that doesn’t matter, ’cause Lindsay Lohan and America Ferrera are having a catfight!!!11!1!!ONE!!1

Tumblefucked twats…&#160

_____________________________________________________





Boy howdy, things have surely been going most swimmingly for Liberal Lesbian Loon&#153 Lindsay Lohan since she dissed Sarah Palin and outed her own ass, haven’t they?

Just as her career was getting back on track, Lindsay Lohan suffered two setbacks. The actress’ guest role on “Ugly Betty” was cut short reportedly due to conflicts with series star America Ferrera. Lohan was also sued by three men for the wild car chase that led to her arrest in 2007.

What you sow, Lohan, what you sow…&#160

_____________________________________________________





I was wrong about the Frog defense outscoring the Wyoming offense.&#160 They didn’t.

But the special teams did.

Arlington Heights 63, South Hills 13

at #15 Texas Christian 54, Wyoming 7

#4 Oklahoma 58, at Kansas State 35

at Nebraska 32, Baylor 20

at Dallas 13, Tampa Bay 9

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________





A black-robed, tyrannical, Obabmi-dick-sucking sycophant bench-jockey has thrown out a challenge to B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi’s supposed US citizenship.&#160 A challenge, it’s worth noting, Obambi allowed to stand by refusing to answer it.

Surrick ruled that Berg lacked standing to bring the case, saying any harm from an allegedly ineligible candidate was “too vague and its effects too attenuated to confer standing on any and all voters.”

Hmmm.&#160 Guess the tinhorn must have adjudged an individual citizen of the United States of America to be a “legal fiction”.&#160

Funny that liberal groups like PETA, ACLU, LULAC, NAACP, etc, never seem to have thie problem.&#160 Only conservatives & conservative groups.

The Tree of Liberty&#153 is getting awfully damned dry…

_____________________________________________________





Item:&#160 Last week, our beloved (?) county hospital, a ragtag Mickey-Mouse outfit known as Parkland Memorial, charged a young lady nursing a broken leg $162 dollars for an emergency room visit.

What did that $162 get her?&#160 About five minutes’ worth of triage.

Oh, and about 19 hours of waiting in emergency room chairs.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________





Malkin is reporting that the NY Slimes&#160 is standing on the precipice of junk-bond territory:

Moody’s Investors Service said on Thursday it may cut its ratings on New York Times Co into junk territory, citing concerns about continuing revenue declines and risks associated with refinancing its debt.

Moody’s said it may cut the New York Times from “Baa3,” the lowest investment grade. Downgrades into junk territory can significantly increase a company’s borrowing costs.

To borrow a phrase from the Rev’r’nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Jackass-i-miah Wrong – looks like Pinch’s chickens have come home to roost.

Poor Pinch.

Pooooooooooooooooooor Pinch.&#160

_____________________________________________________





Remember when the Mothergoose gave us a Presidential alternative in the fictional character from ABC’s Boston Legal, Denny Crane?

Well, she’s done it again.

Click here.&#160

_____________________________________________________





We’ll start off this week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 with a WITY&#153 (What’d I Tell You?) of sorts.

Remember a couple weeks ago, I was lambasting the Cowgirls for playing excuse-me football – and I quote:

Instead, once again you’ve played down to the level of the opposition, and lost a game you should have won because of it.&#160 Once again you’ve played your little soft zone like Coach Cupcake wants you to play, and once again little Janie Campbell got to play tea-party with his boyfriends.&#160 Once again you failed to hit&#160 anyone – “Excuse me, Miss Portis, ma’am, may I tackle you now?” – when you could’ve&#160 laid some wood on some people and put the Fear Of Gawd&#153 in them…and once again, it’s cost you dearly.

Well, now I’m getting backed up on my assessment of the C’girls – and from a couple of experts, no less:&#160 Phil Simms & Bill Cowher.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________

« Previous Articles    
_______________
 
 
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Spatula City BBS! was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.