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Hoft over at Gateway Pundit is reporting that Missouri Demoscum are proposing legislation to force all Missourians to turn in their guns within 90 days.

4. Any person who, prior to the effective date of this law, was legally in possession of an assault weapon or large capacity magazine shall have ninety days from such effective date to do any of the following without being subject to prosecution:

(1) Remove the assault weapon or large capacity magazine from the state of Missouri;

(2) Render the assault weapon permanently inoperable; or

(3) Surrender the assault weapon or large capacity magazine to the appropriate law enforcement agency for destruction, subject to specific agency regulations.

5. Unlawful manufacture, import, possession, purchase, sale, or transfer of an assault weapon or a large capacity magazine is a class C felony.

We’re one step closer, Denizens.  One.  Step.  Closer.

‘Will there be resistance? Absolutely there will be resistance,’ he [Bambi] said.

You have no idea, you syphilitic son-of-a-Kenyan-crack-whore-bitch.

You.  Have.  No.  Fucking.  Idea.

Memo to Lie-anne Fein-swine:

You are not  getting my guns.

None  of them.

Ever.

Capíce?

Don’t even think  about it.

He’s cooking the fucking books.

Period, end, stop.

And anyone who believes this number should not only have their head examined…they should be prohibited from voting, they’re that stupid.

I.  DON’T.  MOTHER.  FUCKING.  THINK!!!  SO!!!!

One step closer, Demoscum.

One.  Fucking.  Step.  Closer.

And as if that weren’t enough (as the General succinctly noted here), the National Concubine of Asshats & Arsekissers decided to collect their own pound of flesh:

The NCAA decision to void all Penn State victories back to 1998 eliminated 111 Penn State victories, dropping iconic coach Joe Paterno from the all-time winningest football coach to 12th on the list.

With the wins voided, Paterno’s official career win total is 298. Bobby Bowden with 377 wins becomes the all-time winningnest Division I.

Bullshit.  Pure, unadulterated, 100-percent non-biodegradeable bullshit.  The NCAA does not have the authority to do that to either Paterno or  Penn State.  JoePa & the Nittany Lions won those games fair & square, and there’s fuck all  the NCAA can do about it.

Suck it, NCAA!  Joe Paterno has just as many wins as he did this time seven days ago.  Kiss Penn State’s collective ass if you don’t like that.

The NCAA has slammed Penn State with an unprecedented series of penalties, including a $60 million fine and the loss of all coach Joe Paterno’s victories from 1998-2011, in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky child sex abuse scandal.

Other sanctions include a four-year ban on bowl games, and the loss of 20 scholarships per year over four years.

Not that I give a shit about what happens to the school itself, seeing as it pissed on the Paterno family’s back and tried to tell ‘em it was raining.

But if I were them, I’d be on the horn to my attorneys RightFuckingNow™.  The National Cowards & Assholes Association may fancy itself as some sort of college athletics Gestapo, but that doesn’t mean their bullshit has the force of law.

Do it, Penn State.  Bloody their noses a bit and see if they don’t back off.

I dare you.

This morning, Pennsylvania State University beclowned itself with an act of sacrilege.

The Joe Paterno statue was removed Sunday morning from its pedestal outside Beaver Stadium, and it will be stored in an unnamed “secure location,” Penn State president Rodney Erickson announced. Erickson also said the Paterno name will remain on the university’s library.

Well, how absolutely fuckin’ white  of Widdle Wodney. 

The decision came 10 days after a scathing report by former FBI director Louis J. Freeh found that Paterno, with three other top Penn State administrators, had concealed allegations of child sexual abuse made against former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The Freeh report concluded their motive was to shield the university and its football program from negative publicity.

Lemme tell you something about Louise Freeh.  This dickhead was the FBI director for one Bill “Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister” Clinton.

You guys do  remember Der Kaiser, don’t you?  You know – the half-assed excuse-for-a-President who had a full-blown affair with one Monica Lewinsky (complete with a cigar up her pussy & everything) – then lied about it to the American people?!?!?!?!?!  That  Kaiser Wilhelm?

Louise Freeh was part of one of the lyingest half-assed regimes in American history.  He himself is a lying sack of shit.  If Louise Freeh were to tell me that 2+2=4, I’d damned sure have a calculator & a couple of computers handy.

Joe Paterno was never charged with a crime.  He never had a fair trial.  His attorneys were never – and still  aren’t – allowed to cross-examine witnesses, whom themselves are shielded by their own  attorneys.  Yet we’re expected, nay obligated, to take Louise Freeh’s word as fucking gospel?!

Fuck.  That.

Joe Paterno, like every other American citizen, is innocent until proven guilty.  He, just like all the rest of us, is entitled to the benefit of the doubt.  Nothing less.

Yet Widdle Wodney Ewickson, being the spineless little dickweasel he is, will take the word of the FBI director of a known & proven liar, and further sully the reputation of the man that defined what previously had been the model college football program for nearly the last half century – and  does it after the man has died, thus leaving him unable to defend himself.

Typical leftard scumbaggery.

Fuck you, Rodney Erickson.

Fuck you, Penn State.

Fuck you, Louise Freeh, you cowardly little needle-dicked son-of-a-bitch.

FUCK ‘EM ALL, THE END! 

It wasn’t bad enough, Denizens, that the backstabbing bitch Juanita Roberts, cast the tiebreaking vote to uphold a clearly unconstitutional Bambicare, calling it instead a tax, which in itself is also unconstitutional, having originated in the Imperial Socialist Senate.  It’s not bad enough that this Queefing Queer-assed Quisling™ slammed in one of the last nails of this country’s coffin, all but assuring its economic destruction henceforth.

No, what really brings down the Red Curtain o’ Blood™…is that this bastard was ag’in it before he was for it:

The Obamacare Supreme Court ruling seemed strange. Chief Justice John Roberts’ reasoning was incoherent. The conservative’s dissent read like it was originally meant to be a majority opinion. Now, we know why. According to Jan Crawford of CBS News, John Roberts switched sides in May, withstanding a “one-month campaign” from his conservative colleagues to change his mind.

“I am told by two sources with specific knowledge of the court’s deliberations that Roberts initially sided with the conservatives in this case and was prepared to strike down…the individual mandate,” said Crawford on CBS’ Face the Nation. “But Roberts, I’m told by my sources, changed his views, deciding to instead join with the liberals. There was a one-month campaign to bring Roberts back into the conservative fold, led, ironically, by Anthony Kennedy.”

Juanita…you asshole.  You motherfucking son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch.

If this is, in fact, the case, this asswipe Roberts isn’t fit to judge an apple pie contest, much less sit as the Chief Justice on the highest court in the land.

This would basically mean that Bambi’s goons somehow got to him, threatened him (or his family), and intimidated him into changing his vote.

Such a coward is unfit for any public office, much less one so important as Chief Justice.  Roberts must be removed immediately the minute we gain control of the Congress & the White House.

And if it does come out, somehow, that Bambi’s goons did, in fact, have a hand in intimidating Juanita Roberts…that may be what finally causes the fecal material to impact the oscillating cooling device.

You heard it here first.

Fox News has just reported that the “individual mandate” portion of Bambicare is constitutional as a tax.  John Roberts sided with the leftist pusstards on the decision.

I say now, and for the record – I WILL NOT OBEY THIS.

I am currently covered under my company’s plan. When it goes away – and I guaran-damn-tee you, it will  go away – I will not get replacement coverage.

Let me say that again:  I will not purchase coverage.

I will not pay any related tax.

I will not pay any penalty.

IRS, you will have to come get me.

If you dare.

Fuck you, Johnita Roberts.

Fuck your wife.

Fuck your kids.

Fuck you, George “Shrubya” Bush, who put the son-of-a-bitch on the Soprano Court in the first  fucking place.

And last but not least – fuck the Hell outta you, B. HUSSEIN!!!  Obambi.

I.  WILL.  NOT.  OBEY!!!!!

UPDATE:  And Denizens, I hate like hell to contradict myself, go hypocritical, make a liar of myself, all that.

But I have no choice.  Apologies to the Vicar, the General, Plett, the Lady, La Reina, Mrs. Venomous – everyone.

But as of now – 0930 hours, 6/28/2012 – I am declaring my intention to vote for Willard Mitt Romney for President of the United States of America.

Because, you see, Obambi – I  know whose ass to kick, you illegal Kenyan son of a slutty crack whore bitch.

Denizens, your homework assignment for the weekend is to read this treatise by Zilla of the Resistance.  (It’s a long read, which is why you have all weekend.)  Additional information can also be obtained here and here.

(Yes, that last one is a link to Malicious Malkin’s column, but there’s a reason for it.  Don’t get ahead of me, mkay?)

Today is “Everybody Blog About Brett Kimberlin Day” in the Blogosphere.  This chickenshit needs to be put down like the rabid dog he is, and together we can all play a part in doing so.

Oh, and Kimberlin?  Fuck you, you pussified douchetard.  Try coming after me or mine, and I’ll see to it you don’t go after anyone else.

Bank on that, chickenshit.

Denizens, as you know, I’ve remained decidedly mega-underwhelmed with the campaign of one Willard Mittens Romerrhoid for the office of President of the United States.  And it’s not a state secret that I’ve declared my intent to bypass the presidential election in November.

That may be about to change.  And this is why.

Businessman Frank Vandersloot, the CEO of Melaleuca, has been targeted by the Obama campaign after donating money to Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign. “Three weeks ago, an Obama campaign website, ‘Keeping GOP Honest,’ took the extraordinary step of publicly naming and assailing eight private citizens backing Mr. Romney,” Kim Strassel of the Wall Street Journal reported. “Titled ‘Behind the curtain: a brief history of Romney’s donors,’ the post accused the eight of being ‘wealthy individuals with less-than-reputable records.’ Mr. VanderSloot was one of the eight, smeared particularly as being ‘litigious, combative and a bitter foe of the gay rights movement.’”

The attacks are working. Vandersloot revealed in an interview on Fox News that his business practice is being hurt by the attacks from the Obama team.

“Those people that I know well weren’t affected by this [attack],” said Vandersloot. “But for people who didn’t know me, who are members of our business or customers, and they were reading this, then we got a barrage of phone calls of people cancelling their customer memberships with us.”

“Really?,” the Fox News host asked. “How many did that?”

“A couple hundred that we can track,” Vandersloot replied.

Vandersloot has also claimed (believably so) that these same chickenshits are stalking his children, calling them, demanding interviews with them, etc.

So what we have here is basically this:  you donate or show any other types of material support to the Romney campaign, you get a target painted on your back and you get put on the intimidation list.  Smears, rumors, harassment.  All because you committed the CAPITAL FUCKING CRIME  of daring to oppose Al-Obambi.

The message is clear:  “Nice life you got there.  Shame if anything were to happen to it…”

Might be time to make a donation, eh what…?

(Hat tip (unfortunately) to Malicious Malkin – her’s is the only place I’ve seen this.)

Let’s call it “Operation Get-In-Their-Faces – Part II“.

As the A.F.L.-C.I.O. prepares to endorse President Obama on Tuesday, labor leaders say they will mount their biggest campaign effort, with far more union members than ever before — at least 400,000, they say — knocking on voters’ doors to counter the well-endowed “super PACs” backing Republicans.

[...]

Unions first used their expanded ability in a big way in Ohio last November to educate and mobilize both union and nonunion voters in a battle to repeal a law that curbed bargaining rights for Ohio’s teachers, firefighters and other public employees. Spurred by 17,000 union volunteers, labor won in a blowout, with Ohioans voting 62 percent to 38 percent to repeal a law that the Republican-dominated Legislature had enacted seven months earlier.

Uh-huh.  And I still  haven’t figured out why John Kasich didn’t just turn around, say “Oh yeah, union asshats?  Watch this“, and file for bankruptcy, like he should  have.

Elections have consequences, y’know.  Or at least, they ought  to.

Anyway, Bull(shit) Trumka, feel free to bring a few of your goons campaigners goons down here just a couple blocks north of Cowboys Stadium.  And just try  to get in my  face.

I and my friends – Mr. Mossburg, Mr. Springfield, Mr. Glock & Mr. Walther – will be only so happy to greet you.

Pusstards.

Sister Toldjah tells us about Herbie Cain’s decision to “re-assess” his dwindling chances of even getting a remote sniff of the White House campaign, in light of the latest accusation d’ peccadillo  against him.

An Atlanta businesswoman is breaking her silence, claiming she has been involved in a 13-year-long affair with Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain.

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, FOX 5 senior I-Team reporter Dale Russell sat down with Ginger White, who had a story to tell.

“I’m not proud,” White told Russell. “I didn’t want to come out with this. I did not.”

Don’t believe it for a nanosecond, Denizens.  Unless she & Herbie were an item alllllllll over Hotlanta, all she had to do was keep her effing mouth shut.  No one gave two flying fucks at donut holes who she was before this, and nobody’ll give so much as one after Herbie drops out of the race.

Which, if he can figure out what “Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin” means, should be AnyDayNow™.

Denizens, welcome to this week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™.

Arlington Heights gets its season ended by Birdville tonight, fifth-ranked Smurf Turf Douchebag State proves once again it can’t beat TCU without their so-called “trickeration” (they’ll win, but they’ll have to use trick plays to do so), sixth-ranked Oklahoma has the week off, so we’ll plug in 18th-ranked Wisconsin at UMinne-haha, 19th-ranked Nebraska is at 12th-ranked Penn State, and Dallas has Beefalo at home on Sunday.

And I’m not pontificating on the games this weekend, because I’ve got a Red Curtain o’ Blood™ covering my eyes RightAboutNow™, and a certain Filipina bitch – not to mention a lot of other Lame-Assed Media™ types – are at the top of my shit list.

Some background.  A damned good man lost his job today, and he lost it for the CARDINAL, UNFORGIVABLE SIN!!!!11!!!ONE!!1!ELEVENTYMILLION!!1!…of following Pennsylvania state law.

I refer, of course, to Joe Paterno.

Denizens, this week’s episode of the Perfect Football Weekend™ opens with that Mickey Mouse network, ESPN (and I mean that literally; they’re owned by Disney), infringing upon the free-speech rights of one Hank Williams, Jr.

BOSTON (Reuters) – ESPN pulled Hank Williams Jr.’s theme song from its “Monday Night Football” broadcast in a rebuke to the country music star for comments earlier in the day comparing President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler.

Williams, a Republican, had appeared on a Fox News’ morning television show “FOX and Friends” on Monday, and was asked which of his party’s presidential candidates he liked.

Obama and Boehner played side by side that day against Vice President Joe Biden and Republican Ohio Governor John Kasich at the height of the congressional budget debate.

Asked what he did not like about the friendly bipartisan golf match, Williams replied, “Come on! It’d be like Hitler playing golf with (Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin) Netanyahu.”

For Hank’s part, he wound up apologizing for the comparison – which, if you ask me, he absolutely should not have done – and the four-lettered bastards wound up making the removal permanent.

Now, I seem to remember a helluva lotta libtards comparing Bambi’s predecessor to this Hitler character beginning sometime around November 2000.  And it continues to this very day.  But you don’t hear any angst – mock or otherwise – over that, now do you?

(crickets)

Nah, didn’t think so.

Memo to the four-lettered:  I don’t have to watch your network.  I don’t have to do business with your sponsors.  And I don’t have to apologize for happening to agree with Hank Williams, Jr’s first impression on the matter.

For the record, yeah – I think Bambi is  another Hitler.  Come do something about it ESPN, you chickenshits.

Awright, on to the football.  It’s Yet Another Thursday Game™ for Ged Kates and my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets, and it’s a Guaranteed Win Night™ as well, for they are playing the North Side Steers.  North Side generally wins one game a year.

Against Carter-Riverside.

Heights in a major squash.

Saturday, Gary Patterson’s unranked  Texas Christian Horned Frogs – yes, I meant to point that out, why do you ask? – travel to Mrs. Venomous’ hometown of San Diego to take on the Aztecs of SD State.

Coach Brady Hoke is no longer there, having migrated to Michigan, and he’s been replaced by former New Mexico coach Rocky Long.  But they still have a helluva quarterback (Ryan Lindley) and a helluva running back (Ronnie Hillman), and they damned near beat the Frogs at Amon Carter last year.  However, Vegas has the Frogs as a four-point favorite.

I think that’s bogus.  I think TCU loses this game, and it won’t be that close.  You think SMUT bombed ‘em out of the stadium? SD’s offense is better.

Also Saturday, it’s the annual…ahem…

VENOMOUS:  RED RIVER SHOOTOUT, YOU PC PANSY-ASSED DOUCHEBAGS!!!1!!ONE!1!!ELEVENMILLIONTY!!1!

KORRIOTH:  Feel better now, m’liege?

VENOMOUS:  Why…yes.  Yes, I do. 

…in which Bob Stoops’ 3rd-ranked Oklahoma Sooners (Great Honkin’ Cthulu™, how bad do you gotta beat someone to keep a ranking around here?) take on Widdle Mackie Brown’s (hack, spit) 11th-ranked TU Shortdicks Longhorns Shortdicks.  The major news this week for whom, was the announcement of the departure of one Garrett Gilbert.

Imagine.  From playing in the BCS National Championship Game two years ago, to being ejected out the third-string chute last week.  How the mighty have fallen. 

Early reports have Gilbert possibly headed to…SMUT.  (Please, Lord, please  make that happen.  Little Junie Jones’d start him over Padron, and we’d kill ‘im…(cackle))

Things don’t get much easier for Bo Pelini’s 14th-ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers, as The  Ohio State University comes a-callin’ up in Lincoln.

Believe it or not, Vegas is actually making the Huskers an 11½-point favorite in this game.  But NU doesn’t have a secondary either, so don’t exactly etch that in stone, if you know what I mean.

And this week, Tony “El Choko” Romo is guaranteed not to lose the game for his team.

OZY McCOOL:  The usual reason, m’lord?

VENOMOUS:  The usual reason, Ozy.  Cowgirlz don’t play this week.

MERLIN:  Plug Kansas back in for a game, sir?

VENOMOUS:  Kansas is a 31½-point road dog at Oklahoma State, Wizard.  Whaddya you  t’ink?

MERLIN:  Shutting up now, m’liege…

VENOMOUS:  Thank you.

We’re back Monday or so with the recap.  In the meantime, Bucky’s reward for destroying Nebraska is an off week, so my question for HDD is…dude, you ever gonna get a day off again?