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Several weeks ago I posted my Sunday sermon here. As I said then, I am not a real fan of posting my sermons on-line. This is for several reasons. Those sermons are written for a specific congregation, in their specific time. In addition, there are many other preachers out there who can write much better sermons than I.

Having said that, I thought I might make some comments about our adult Sunday School lesson for this morning.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Here is the text of a post I made to Usenet this morning:

The article from which I am quoting can be found here.

An authoritative new analysis of the fall Electoral College vote finds President Obama just 23 Electoral Votes shy of reelection, and he could lose up to five states won in 2008 and still beat Mitt Romney.

But his hold is so weak and and the economy such a threat that Romney could win it all just by taking Virginia, a finding that should vault Gov. Bob McDonnell into the top tier of potential vice presidential nominees.

What I find interesting about this article is the distribution of the electoral vote. The Democrats get the northeast, the upper Midwest,the west coast and Hawaii. with the exception of New Mexico and Colorado, the Republicans get everything else.

This sort of distribution makes it easy for those of us who live in “red” states to look around, see no one who like the President, and assume that he will lose. To do such is a huge mistake. If Obama is turned out in November, it will be because he lost states in these solidly Democratic areas. If Romney cannot pull votes in those states, he has lost.

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Following Mittens the Romerrhoid’s five-state primary sweep yesterday, Fox News Channel is reporting that aides are saying that Newt Gingrich will be “suspending” his presidential campaign by next Tuesday.

No real surprise – Newt’s campaign has pretty much been one long proclamation-then-reversal (say one thing, then have circumstances force a complete one-eighty days or weeks later) all silly-season long.  But it’s one more reminder that conservatives have, once again, had delivered to them a proverbial kick-in-the-crotch by the GOP Establishment.

And then they have the balls to keep demanding that we give them the votes to which they’re supposedly entitled…because…because…because SHUT UP!!!!!

Lemme say this again:  This is my  vote.  Not yours, GOP, mine.  It does not belong to Gingrich, nor Santorum, nor Perry (necessarily), nor your beloved Romerrhoid, nor McCain, nor Palin…nor anyone else.  It is mine, dammit, do you understand?  MINE!!!

As the political party, it is incumbent upon you to convince me why the presidential candidate you place on the ticket is worthy of my vote.

You have not done that.  Nor will you, if the candidate is Mitt Romney.  Period, end of sentence, end of paragraph, end of topic, end of discussion.

You RINO bastard pusstards don’t like that?  You should have thought of that before  you tried to shove Mittens the Romerrhoid down my throat.

You’ve made your bed, RINOs, now lie in it.

It ain’t my problem any more.

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“…maybe this is just the cake talking, but…let’s celebrate!!!

What an excellent idea.

And let’s start  celebrating, you little snot-nosed piece-of-shit Occutard wannabe, by THROWING YOUR DISRESPECTFUL, LAZY, NO-FUCKING-GOOD SLIMY ASS OUT OF THE HOUSE, WHY DON’T WE?!?!?!

Stupid punk-ette.

When you decide to stop dissing parents, KFC, let me know.

Maybe I’ll come back.  If I haven’t developed a taste for Church’s, that is.

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And to end our workweek, we bring you this, courtesy of my best friend General Belvedere:

13 Politically Incorrect Gun Rules for Conservatives
April 18, 2012

1. Guns have only two enemies: rust and politicians.

2. It’s always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

3. Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you.

4. Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arms length.

5. Never say, “I’ve got a gun.” If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they hear should be the safety clicking off.

6. The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes; the response time of a .357 is 1400 feet per second.

7. The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win – cheat if necessary.

8. Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets . . . You may get killed with your own gun, but he’ll have to beat you to death with it, because it’ll be empty.

9. If you’re in a gunfight:

* If you’re not shooting, you should be loading.
* If you’re not loading, you should be moving.
* If you’re not moving, you’re dead.

10. In a life and death situation, do something . . . It may be wrong, but do something!

11. If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

12. You can say ‘stop’ or ‘alto’ or any other word, but a large bore muzzle pointed at someone’s head is pretty much a universal language.

13. You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself and your family.

Damned straight.

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Well, never let it be said that the dumbass doesn’t have a sense of humor.

We always knew that Donna McCrabbs, aka the World’s Greatest Ever Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever!™, had a severely overinflated opinion of himself.  Certainly all of Leftist Libtardia™ always thought so, and made it a point to shout down anyone who dared to disagree.

Now McBlabby is…(snicker)…tooting his own horn.

During an appearance on the interview show Barfly , former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb said he saw himself as a Hall of Famer, even invoking the name of a few former greats to make his point.

“Absolutely,” McNabb said when asked if he would vote for himself for the Hall of Fame. “One thing that people don’t realize [is] I never played the game to make it to the Hall of Fame. I played the game because I love it. I played the game to win. I’m a competitor. When I step out on that field, I feel like I’m the best player on the field. … I played at the pinnacle, I played at the highest of my career. And I would vote for myself for the Hall of Fame, and I played with probably two or three other Hall of Famers.”

Yeah, well, Reggie White was a helluva lot better player than you ever were, Donna.

Helluva lot better man, too, come to think of it.

“Peyton never won the big game until he won the Super Bowl finally. Dan Marino never won the big game. But does that mean his career is a failure? No, not at all,” McNabb said. “And a lot of times, if we want to sit and look at the numbers for certain players, then we need to look at numbers for all of them.”

“When we want to sit and look at numbers — because that’s what it is when it comes to the Hall of Fame — my numbers are better than Jim Kelly, better than Troy Aikman, better than a lot of the guys who are in the Hall of Fame. But one thing they do have is a Super Bowl.”

That may  have just a weeeeeeeeee  little bit to do with it, don’t you think?

But no worries, Donna.  You may get in the Hall some day.  On the Senior ballot, perhaps.

But you know the old adage: If one could buy you for what you were worth, and sell you for what you thought  you were worth… 

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This, on the other hand, is pure effin’ genius.

Cute Overload Alert™!!!!! 

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“There’s an easier way to protect your dog from dangerous parasites.”

No shit, Sherlock.

Any family that would go to the trouble – not to mention the hellacious expense – of building a network of oversized hamster tubes in & around their house, just to keep their puppy clear of a tick or two, deserves to be tied to a stockade, horsewhipped, thrown into prison & chemically castrated (to prevent any further breeding, don’tcha know) just for the stupidity involved in building  a network like that.

And I won’t even  talk about the abuse to the puppy.  That’d involve cattle prods jammed up the ass & locked on high.

And it sure as Hell™ doesn’t compel me to wanna buy their little pill.

And then people wonder why there’s animus in some quarters against the drug industry…

Dumbshit ad-campaign fucktards… 

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(Hat tip:  As much as I hate to admit it, I got this from Malicious Malkin’s sidebar, where it’s taken up temporary residence.  (Then again, that’s about the only reason I still ever go there anyway – certainly it’s not for anything that might come out of her  skanky piehole, eh what?))

Zombie over at PJ Media has something that, the more I think about it, the more I like it:  A new version of the 1040 form that corresponds to this piece-of-shit “Buffett Rule” that Bambi keeps trying to bully Congress into passing.

When Obama first proposed the Buffett Rule last year, I made a post called Voluntary Tax Rates and Personalized Earmarks: How to Solve the Debate over Taxes as the true version of the Buffett Rule. Because, you see, Buffett originally didn’t call for a higher tax rate on the wealthy in general; instead he said that he himself wanted to pay more taxes. Sure, he was just using himself as a personal example, but I thought: Hey, he could be on to something here. Why don’t we all decide at what rate we individually pay taxes? That‘s the Buffett Rule: You want to pay more taxes? Fine — pay ‘em. And if you don’t want to pay more, or even want to pay less — well, we have an option for that too.

To that end, I produced a new version of the IRS’s 1040 form which featured (exactly as the post’s title implied) “voluntary tax rates and personalized earmarks.” But that was last August. Who, after all these months, remembered to use those new forms now that Tax Day has rolled around again?

So I have now updated the revised 1040 form for 2011 and am offering it for download today, April 15, for your convenience.

The form itself is below the fold, with a link to download it for yourself if you’d like.

I’d pay ten percent in taxes, allocated to national defense.  What about you?

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Hell, who needs Weight Watchers©?  The sight of Barkley in that get-up is more  than enough to take away my  appetite.

Ew.  Just.  Fuckin’.  Ew.

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ITEM:  After Rush Limbaugh told the truth, then wussed out, about Sandra “Slut” Fluke…

(Yeah, that’s right, Sandy baby – I called you a slut, you’re also a prostitute, and there ain’t no apology coming from me, ever)

…the pusstard Demoscum launched the shit-for-brains meme that Republicans had launched a so-called “war on women”.

“We’re making an issue over the whole Republican war against women,” said Maggie Davidson, president of the Democratic Women’s Club of Northeast Broward. “We’re going to try to bring a lot of attention to what’s been going on in the state legislatures and in Congress.”

Specifically, the notion that conservatives like me & you are out to destroy women because we’re sick & tired of our tax monies going for them to fuck like minxes (minxes?) and abort damn the consequences.

But that’s another post for another time.

ITEM:  One of Al-Obambi’s designated methane-spewing propaganda mouthpieces, Hitlary Hilary Rosen, late of the we-don’t-want-you-to-record-our-music (hack, spit)  RIAA (hack, spit), had this to say about Ann Romney (hat tip:  Hoft):

“Guess what, his wife has actually never worked a day in her life,” said Rosen, who was being interviewed by CNN’s Anderson Cooper about the war on women.

Same Al-Obambi that pays its female employees 18% less than men.

PotKettleBlack™ much, Jugears?

MERLIN:  Ooooooh, RAAAAACIST!!!!

VENOMOUS:  Bite me, Wizard.

MERLIN

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(Hat tip:  Dan Riehl.)

“Well Governor, let me start by saying it’s great to have a different opinion and a different person on the radio and I’m very, very happy that you’re doing this radio show. One of the reasons why I want to listen to your program every day is because you ran for office and you’ve been a politician, you have a different perspective I think.”

—The first caller to Mike Huckabee’s new radio show Monday, 4/9/12

You just can’t make shit like this up.

Well…actually…you can.

In fact, Huckabee…ummm…did.

In fact, “Mike from San Francisco” turned out after some digging to be one Mike McVay, the senior vice president of programming for… wait for it… the Cumulus Media Network. None of which was acknowledged on the air by either “Mike from San Francisco” or, more to the point, Mike Huckabee.

Jeffery Lord goes on to strongly imply (if not state outright) that Huckabee not only was in on it, but may have even had a hand in the staging.

Sad.

I’ve never done that here.  Could very easily, but I don’t roll like that. Any commenter you see here is a real person, really commenting.

True  conservatives don’t have to make shit up, y’know.

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WBAP 820/96.7 has reported (and Fox News has confirmed) that Widdle Ricki Santorum has “suspended” his campaign.

Mittens the Rommerhoid wins.

I don’t vote in the presidential election.

And all you RINO pusstards who claim that I’m gonna help get Bambi re-elected – come say that to my face if you have the balls.

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As the years go on, I have become less and less impressed by the various beauty pageants. This report from the Miss Universe folks just put the final nail in the coffin.

“Transgender women have notched a key victory in a bid for equality, as the Miss Universe Organization announced today that they will be allowed to compete in its pageants.”

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I am not one who generally posts sermons on-line. My thoughts are that these are written for a specific congregation, for a specific time. However, since this is the season of Easter, I thought I would post this past Sunday’s sermon. Comments are very welcome.

 

For those of you who do not attend a liturgical church, or one which follows the liturgical calendar, the season of Easter lasts for seven weeks. We have a three year schedule of readings that we follow, and that are read during the service. The usual pattern is to read three lessons, one from the Old Testament, one from the Epistles, and a Gospel reading. Currently we are in year “B” of the three year cycle, and this year our Gospel readings come from Mark and John. This Sermon is on the Easter Sunday Gospel reading.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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