Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 12:44
The Demoscum just won’t give up Florida, will they?
John-Boy F’n Qetchup-@$$ was there the other day, sounding like he was still trolling for votes.
The Massachusetts senator, at a National Head Start Association conference to tout his plan to provide health care for uninsured children, hammered on familiar themes of values and unity while repeatedly criticizing the Bush administration and Republican leaders in Congress.
“I went back and reread the whole New Testament the other day.”
You don’t say, Botox Boy? Didja pick up any new “nuances”?
“Nowhere in the three-year ministry of Jesus Christ did I find a suggestion at all, ever, anywhere, in any way whatsover, that you ought to take the money from the poor, the opportunities from the poor and give them to the rich people,” Kerry said.
Reeeaaaallllllly. Well, y’know, Qetchup Qing – nowhere in the three-year ministry of Jesus Christ did you find a suggestion at all, ever, anywhere, in any way whatsover, that you should allow babies to be senselessly butchered before they’re even born – and in some cases, on their way out of the womb – now did you? Yet you’ll happily bleat that women have the so-called “right to choose”, won’t you, dumbass?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 7:56
Denizens, I started this tradition a few years back when I received this piece from someone (my memory’s not as good as it used to be, else I’d give the obligatory hat tip).
I’m proud to revive this tradition today. This is definitely worth your time to read. Go. Shoo.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 2:11
Apparently, a judge in Indiana is telling a Wiccan couple that they can’t teach their child their religion.
Now, it’s a highly flawed ruling, and most certainly will be overturned on appeal. I’d say that’s pretty much cut and dried. The parents have the right to teach their kid what they will – end of story. Absolutely no argument there.
But for my part, I’m having a hard time being sympathetic towards these guys. The Wiccans I’ve dealt with over the years, both here and in the old BBS days, have expressed nothing but an abject hatred of Christianity and all things Christian. They’re the types that scream bloody murder whenever we dare to interject our ideas into the governing of this country. It’s my opinion that they, along with all the other anti-Christian bigots, would just as soon see us go away. (Not to worry, guys – a lot of us will be, very soon.)
So you’ll pardon me if I’d like to see Christianity be given slightly more respect before I start screaming over the rights of these Wiccans. When I see the same outrage over the desecration of the Bible that I’ve seen the past couple of weeks over the alleged (and later debunked) desecration of the Qu’ran…then we can talk.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:31
Not only no, but Hell, No!!!
I bought one today – took one sip, damned near threw it up.
Memo to Coke: Splenda© is sweeter, ounce for ounce, than sugar. (Yes, I know that’s hard to believe, but trust me on this.) If you people are going to use it in your diet drinks, you absolutely must raise the carbonation factor by a minimum of 3.
Otherwise, you have Diet New Coke on your hands – and we all know how well the regular version of that went over, now don’t we…?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 19:06
We interrupt our vacation from posting to inform the Realm of a WITY.
Seems that I managed to piss off a Young Skull Full Of Mush with my post on those who thought that the words “seniors who did not pass all portions of the TAKS cannot graduate” didn’t apply to them. (I think it was the Kendra Rainey mentioned in the original story, but she didn’t leave her last name, so…)
Denizens, I must say – here, more than anything, is a picture-perfect People’s Exhibit Number One of precisely that to which I was referring. If these comments don’t tell you everything you need to know about the abject stupidity of the products of our current education system…then nothing will.
(UPDATE: We’ll also ignore, for the moment, that Kendra was too stupid to post her comment in the correct thread, but anyway…)
Okay, you little twat. Ready for your English lesson?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:31
Denizens, I’m gonna take a couple days off. For reasons I’m going to keep to myself, I’m in a very, very snarly mood right now, and it’s best (for once) I not say much about it – lest folks whom I don’t want to offend get offended.
Thatisall. See you on Friday or thereabouts.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 13:21
The SpatulaGoddess has taken time out from her currently-busy schedule to post an observation that I’m sure all of us have seen at one time or another – an obvious example of trailer trash.
All I have to say about it is this: In Sulphur Springs, that’s normally called “advertising”.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:24
Okay, guys, time for me to hawk wares again.
This time, you, the good Denizen, can send a message to the linguini-spined, cowardly bastards known as the RINOs (Republicans In Name Only).
Go here and plunk down $5 for one of these beauts. Tell the Republicans that you’ve had it with them caving in to the Demoscum time after time after time.
Get yours now!
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:57
Sorry, Denizens – as slow as yesterday was, today was equally as hectic. Another One-Legged Man day.
So, into the Grab-Bag we go, for this blurb, courtesy of Denizen Lady Heather de Jeep Wrangler:
On a group of beautiful deserted tropical islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
One month later on these same absolutely, stunningly beautiful desert (and deserted)Islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois
The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The 2 Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming…
The 2 Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
The 2 Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant, and a laundromat. And have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for the store.
The 2 American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palmtrees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and at least the taxes are low, and it isn’t raining….
The 2 Irish men have divided the Island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture, because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But they are satisfied because at least the English aren’t having any fun.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 19:37
(ED. NOTE: I had pre-written the top half of this post prior to hearing the news on the Fox website. The update explains it all. -LSI)
Newsflash: Bill Frist says he has the votes to deploy the “constitutional option” concerning the illegal Demoscummic filibustering of judicial nominees.
Newsflash: Bill Frist said back in February that he had the votes to deploy the “constitutional option” concerning the illegal Demoscummic filibustering of judicial nominees.
Newsflash: Bill Frist said back in April that he had the votes to deploy the “constitutional option” concerning the illegal Demoscummic filibustering of judicial nominees.
D’ya kinda notice a trend developing here?
For Cthulu’s Sake, Dr. Linguinispine, would you shut up about threatening to do it AND JUST DO IT??????? HELLO??? MCFLY?????
UPDATE: Frist, you son-of-a-bitch – now do you see what happens when you drag your backwoods hillbilly ass?
That fucking Limp-Wristed Lisping Licksprite, John McCain (RINO-AZ), has just managed to buttfuck 6 of his fellow RINOs into scuttling the constitutional option that you had said you had the votes for all along, you stupid bastard!
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 14:49
Cowards. Craven cowards. Limp-wristed, anti-American craven cowards.
Fellow blogger and Denizen Delftsman has alerted the Realm to a post by Riding Sun concerning another piece of treasonous shit cranked out by the cowards over at Spewsweek.
These bastards spew their jounalistic methane, to Hell with the consequences – then, like little brats about to get the shit knocked out of them, they go hide behind Article I of the Bill Of Rights as if it were their mommies’ skirts.
First it was the lies about our troops desecrating the Qu’ran. (Not that I’d mind that much – I mean, how many stories have we heard about shitheads – particularly those in Shoddy Arabia – doing unspeakable things to the Christian Bible and nothing’s ever happened to them, hm?)
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 11:06
(Hat Tip to the SpatulaGoddess.)
Hmmm. This is disquieting…
Your Deadly Sins
|Chance You’ll Go to Hell: 51%|
|You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.|
This can only mean one thing.
Only 40% wrath? I’m not trying hard enough.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 9:05
(Hat tip to Denizen and Original Cast charter member Robert Mullane.)
On WABC/77 AM in New York, Sean Hannity is followed by attorney and law expert extraordinaire Mark “The Great One” Levin. (Dittoheads will recognize this grand gentleman as “F. Lee Levin” of the EIB Law Department.)
This is one you don’t wanna miss. Spew warnings are definitely in effect.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 12:11
(Hat tip to Michael Hampton.)
By now, you guys know that I, along with more than a few thousand other folks, have fallen in love with Mozilla Firefox as an Internet browser.
Which is why this story disturbs me more than just a little bit.
Firefox has since come out with version 1.0.4 – which, presumably, addresses these security holes. But the fact that said holes even exist is cause for concern.
And to all you ABM (Anybody But Micro$oft) folks, I hope this serves as a reminder: It ain’t just Billy-boy’s problem, morons. Any s’ware package that becomes a big-enough target will attract the pond scum. Firefox is just the latest target.
So leave Bill alone. He’s trying, okay?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 11:23
I got this in e-mail today:
Obviously they don’t know me. (grin)