Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
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Val Prieto over at Babalu Blog is reporting that the Cuban son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch, Fidel Castro, has “temporarily” turned over power to the other bastard child of his mother’s, Raul.

Granted, that doesn’t leave Cuba in much better condition.  But I’ll jump at any chance to see Justice™ carried out, so…

Watch & pray, Denizens.  Watch & pray.

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Q:  When is it okay to snub a dinner invitation from the President of the United States?

A:  When you’re an NFL coach trying to teach Daunte Culpepper your offense.  (Or making sure Culpepper keeps his curfew – take your pick. )

When the White House called with an invitation to dine with President Bush, Dan Marino took it. But the coach of his former team said no.

Miami Dolphins coach Nick Saban said Monday that his obligations at training camp took priority over a chance to meet the president.

“It was really a tough decision,” Saban said. “I feel like my first responsibility is our team. That in no way disrespects the importance of the opportunity I would have loved to have had to spend dinner with the President.”

No worries, Nick.  Man’s gotta have his priorities, y’know.

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The guys over at Two-by-Four pulled this off of CNN:

“Iran, under a pending UN Security Council resolution, will have until August 31st in which to freeze its uranium enrichment program, or face, at that time, a major discussion here, and maybe imposition of economic diplomatic sanctions. The full Security Council is discussing the resolution now. Potential vote, Monday morning. Wolf…”

Oh, that’ll  show ‘em.  Can’tcha just see ‘em shaking in their sandals RightAboutNow™…?

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And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

(Well, okay – the moment I’ve  been waiting for. )

Football season officially begins today in the Realm™, as the Cowboys officially open camp in Oxnard, CA.

The team arrived Thursday afternoon at their River Ridge complex here in Oxnard but won’t practice until Saturday, when they will have both a morning and afternoon practice.

No more grousing about the Miami cHeat and their championship*.  No more grousing about the Tex-ass stRangers and their annual post-All Star Break disappearing/choke act.

For the next six or seven months, the Realm™ is all about football, buddy.  “Cowboys, Cowboys, Cowboys”.  (Well maybe some Frogs thrown in for good measure. (grin))

In a couple weeks or so, the Perfect Football Weekend™ will return with the overview and the list of teams I’m following this year.  PFWs may be a little harder to achieve than in years past, as I’ll be tracking up to six teams for the ’06 season.

Gonna be a fun year.  Stay tuned.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled ranting.

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ITEM:  Dr. YEARRRRRRRGH!!! calls the Iraqi prime minister an “anti-Semite”.

“The Iraqi prime minister is an anti-Semite,” the Democratic leader told a gathering of business leaders in Florida. “We don’t need to spend $200 and $300 and $500 billion bringing democracy to Iraq to turn it over to people who believe that Israel doesn’t have a right to defend itself and who refuse to condemn Hezbollah.”

ITEM:  Dr. YEARRRRRRRGH!!! compares Florida senatorial candidate Kathleen Harris to Josef Stalin.

“Thank God for Bill Nelson, because we’d have another crook in the United States Senate if it weren’t for him. He is going to beat the pants off Katherine Harris,” Dean said during his 20-minute address. “She doesn’t understand that it’s…improper to be chairman of a campaign and count the votes at the same time. This is not Russia and she is not Stalin.”

ITEM:  Good ol’ Howierd…is calling for an end to divisiveness.

Down with divisiveness was the message Wednesday delivered by Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean as he told a group of Florida business leaders that Republican policies of deceit and finger-pointing are tearing American apart.

Dean called President Bush “the most divisive president probably in our history.”

“He’s always talking about those people. It’s always somebody else’s fault. It’s the gays’ fault. It’s the immigrants’ fault. It’s the liberals’ fault. It’s the Democrats’ fault. It’s Hollywood people,” Dean said. “Americans are sick of that. Even if you win elections doing that, you drag down our country.”

YeahRight™.

Uh, Dr. YEARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!, there’s a Mr. Pot and  a Ms. Kettle on line 3.  And they don’t sound terribly happy.

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(Yeah, I know – I missed “two”.  Fix your  laptop and cook your  meals for the next few nights and see how much time you  have, mkay? )

And not to be dropping hints or anything, but those of you who know me and are aware of what happens around this time every year should know what I’m referring to.

No matter – all will be revealed tomorrow.  (Nothing earth-shattering or anything, so you can scoot back from the edge of your seats. (grin))

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…four days and counting.

UPDATE:  Now three.

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Now this  is how you go about stemming the tide on illegal immigration:  Hold those who would employ them responsible.

Employers in three states targeted by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents as part of an enhanced effort to combat illegal-alien employment schemes have been arrested for, or pleaded guilty to, charges of harboring illegal aliens.

ICE spokesman Dean Boyd said two limited-liability corporations in Kentucky — Asha Ventures LLC and Narayan LLC — pleaded guilty Thursday to criminal charges of harboring illegal aliens and money laundering in an illegal employment scheme at hotels. They agreed to pay $1.5 million cash in lieu of forfeiture and create internal compliance programs.

Sentencing in the case is scheduled for October.

That’s a good start.  An even better idea would be to revoke their LLC and hold them personally  responsible for their part in sponsoring this invasion of our land.

In Ohio, ICE agents arrested the owner of a restaurant on felony charges of harboring illegal aliens after 10 of his illegal workers were apprehended, Mr. Boyd said. Chinese citizen Jiang Fei Jiang, 36, who owns and operates Bee’s Buffet in Fairfield, was arrested Thursday.

In Arkansas on Tuesday, ICE agents arrested the owner of a construction business — Arevalo Framing Associates in Springdale — on felony charges and apprehended 27 of his illegal workers, ICE said. Alejandro Arevalo, the manager of Arevalo Framing, was charged with harboring illegal aliens and re-entry after deportation.

A double whammy.  Best to kick his skanky ass across the river, then shoot him on sight if he gets within five feet of it again.

“ICE is taking an increasingly tough stance against egregious corporate violators that knowingly employ illegal aliens. Bringing criminal charges against these unscrupulous employers and targeting their ill-gotten gains is a tactic we are adopting nationwide,” said Homeland Security Assistant Secretary Julie L. Myers, who heads ICE.

Mr. Boyd said that during fiscal 2006, ICE has arrested 445 persons on criminal charges in work-site investigations and apprehended another 2,700 of their illegal workers on immigration violations. During fiscal 2005, he said, ICE arrested 176 persons on criminal charges and another 1,116 illegal-alien workers.

Like I said, Julie – it’s a good start.

You have about 11,998,000 or so to go, so get cracking.

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ABC’s Nightline  just aired an interview with the Kossack.  Showed his face, even.

And I thought Mykki Chickenshit was a pansy-assed pussy.  Geeze.

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five days…and counting.

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Well, whaddya know?!  The Asshelmeted Crack Lickers Union has found a group of people claiming to follow Christ that it actually likes.

Wouldn’t you know that it’d be these bastards?

A Kansas church group that protests at military funerals nationwide filed suit in federal court, saying a Missouri law banning such picketing infringes on religious freedom and free speech.

The American Civil Liberties Union filed the lawsuit Friday in the U.S. District Court in Jefferson City, Mo., on behalf of the fundamentalist Westboro Baptist Church, which has outraged mourning communities by picketing service members’ funerals with signs condemning homosexuality.

But by all means, don’t demonize the ACLU.  That would be silly, and they do good work.

The church and the Rev. Fred Phelps say God is allowing troops, coal miners and others to be killed because the United States tolerates gay men and lesbians.

And in turn, these fucknozzles are bashing the same men & women who fight for the inbreds’ right to spew forth that bullshit.

Rather ironic, eh what?

Missouri lawmakers were spurred to action after members of the church protested in St. Joseph, Mo., last August at the funeral of Army Spec. Edward L. Myers.

The law bans picketing and protests “in front of or about” any location where a funeral is held, from an hour before it begins until an hour after it ends. Offenders can face fines and jail time.

A number of other state laws and a federal law, signed in May by President Bush, bar such protests within a certain distance of a cemetery or funeral.

A nice start, but I might have gone farther:  Exempt from criminal prosecution anyone who…ahhhhh…decided to physically intervene  on behalf of the honored dead and their families.  Would be interesting to see how much Phelps and his phellow pherret phelchers were willing to suffer for being such shitheels.

In the lawsuit, the ACLU says the Missouri law tries to limit protesters’ free speech based on the content of their message. It is asking the court to declare the ban unconstitutional and to issue an injunction to keep it from being enforced, which would allow the group to resume picketing.

“I told the nation, as each state went after these laws, that if the day came that they got in our way, that we would sue them,” said Phelps’s daughter Shirley L. Phelps-Roper, a spokeswoman for the church in Topeka, Kan.

And if you had to go for a romp in the hay with the Ass-phyxiated Caliphate Lickspittles’ Union – well, I hope you attention whores kept the KY handy, y’know?

“At this hour, the wrath of God is pouring out on this country.”

Yeah.  We’re having to listen to dipshits like you.

Scott Holste, a spokesman for Missouri Attorney General Jay Nixon, said, “We’re not going to acquiesce to anything that they’re asking for in this lawsuit.”

You might consider countersuing them, just for the Hell™ of it.  Eh?

F.E.J.F.E.

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John at Wuzzadem has this priceless gem about Queen Gwendolyn of the Doucheosphere™.

Massive spew warnings, etc.

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…seven days – and counting.

UPDATE:  Make that six, now.

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Denizens, on occasion I’ll get the occasional troll who just can’t seem to get the message when I dump their IP.

They’ll go through something called an IP spoofer, where they can change the IP address they broadcast at the drop of a hat (there are also websites who employ this technology for these assclowns).

Anyway, that’s one way of doing things.  Then there are the morons who take a…ah…take a slightly different approach (hat tip Misha):

Boy, we sure do have a dedicated Glenn Greenwald fan there.

Or should I say “fans”?

Because these comments are, after all, from three completely “different” people. Again: the first comment is from a guy named “Ellison.” And the second is from a different guy, named “Sam Mathews.” And the third is from a different guy still — one named “Wilson.”

But here’s the weird part: they all sound so very similar! All of these various fans of Glenn Greenwald seem very familiar with his curriculum vitae. And they seem to emphasize the same points. His New York Times best seller. His amazing success in just 9 months of blogging. The fact that Senators read from his blog during Senate hearings! The fact that he breaks stories that appear on the front pages of newspapers!

And here’s the very weirdest part of all: Ellison’s IP address is the very same IP address as that of one Glenn Greenwald.

The coincidences are…extraordinary.

“Indeed”, as another Glenn would say.

“Queen Gwendolyn of Sockpuppetburbia”.  Has kind of a nice ring to it.

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LC and Denizen Geirr brings us a wonderful T-shirt for use when driving through the patchouli backwoods…

(Denunciations from Queen Gwendolyn and the rest of the Douche-o-sphere in 5…4…3…2…)

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