Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

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480744623799627495673518… Day.

And yes, I HAD to do that.

Dismissed&#153

“Binghampton”? 🙂

DIS chu’ botIvjaj!

qaStaHvIS DISvam, reH qaDmeylIj DacharghmeH yapjaj HoSlIj, ‘ej not nIHoSmoHtaHbogh qaDmey DaHutlhjaj.

(May you all enjoy the new year!

During this year, may you always be strong enough to overcome your challenges, and may you never lack for challenges to keep you strong.)

Qapla’!

KORRIOTH:&#160 And with a tolerable accent, too.&#160 You honor us, Admiral.

VENOMOUS:&#160 I try.

Happy New Year, Denizens.

Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city.

Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.

While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”

When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.” So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger.

When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.

The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them.

—Luke 2:1-20 (NASB)

And may God add His blessings to the reading of His holy Word.

Merry Christmas, Denizens.&#160 This season, more than any other – remember why.

Those of you who have read me for any&#160 length of time – well, you probably knew it was coming all along, didn’t you? – but you know damned well what this is.

For now, click the link.&#160 Go ahead.&#160 Click it.&#160 You know you want to.

And turn it up.&#160 Waaaaaay&#160 up.&#160 &#160 )

That’s right, sportz fanz:&#160 It’s vacation time for His Rudeness&#153.&#160 A chance to Get Away From It All&#153, as it were.

We’re out of money at the moment, so it’s gonna be a staycation, which will give us enough time to finish decorating the new digs.

MRS. VENOMOUS:&#160 Along with other&#160 stuff…right, sweetie…???

VENOMOUS:&#160

Vicar, General – you guys have the conn.&#160 General…when you’re done chlorinating the gene pool of Twinkie-hating union goons down there in the Southern Command&#153, could I borrow another squadron of those black helicopters…?&#160

As you may or may not have guessed, Denizens, the PFW is done for the year.&#160 I’ve run out of ways to say that my teams suck.

In addition, the annual Fall Vacation Countdown&#153 isn’t going to be posted until maybe&#160 tomorrow.&#160 If then.

I know I tease, drop hints, etc, about hanging it up every now & again.&#160 This time, though, it’s a major case of burnout.&#160 I’ve been doing this now for over ten years, and I’m tired.&#160 There are only so many ways you can say Bambi & the Demoscum are fucking cowards, only so many ways you can dare them to grow a set and come go mano a mano.&#160 And when they don’t (see “Chickenshit, Mykki), what else is there?

So it’s a “sorta kinda” hiatus for Yours Truly&#153 for a little bit.&#160 (Not that I’ve been writing all that much before, but still.)&#160 I’ll come back when I fucking well feel like it.

When that might be…who the hell knows?

I lied.

There won’t be a Perfect Football Weekend column this week, after all. There just isn’t time.

And that’s getting to be a major problem around here.&#160 Remember how I’ve groused in the past about This Fine Blog&#153 going the route of the original BBS?&#160 Never having time to maintain it and such?

That’s getting to be the case, writ extra-large, these days.&#160 I can’t give this endeavor the time it deserves at this point, and I’m honestly wondering if I want things to continue that way going into 2014.

(For the One Or Two Of You That Still Care About This Blog&#153, yes – that’s an indication that I may be ready to put SCBBS back on the shelf for the time being.)

Watch this space.

[SCENE:&#160 On the near-powerless bridge of ISS Vengeance.&#160 Admiral Darth Venomous and General Korrioth are overseeing a minor refit of the communications module.&#160 Chief Engineer Ozymandias McCool carries a solid-state console module in his arms, awaiting instruction from Venomous.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Anytime you’re ready, McCool.

OZY McCOOL:&#160 Aye, sir.

[McCool slides the module into the empty slot.&#160 Power comes to life on the bridge – for about two seconds.

Massive sparkage flies from the just-installed module, sending all three diving for cover.&#160 (Well, Korrioth & McCool, anyway.&#160 Venomous merely turns away with a disgusted look on his face.)

Venomous turns & glares at McCool.]

OZY McCOOL (looking very&#160 nervous at the moment):&#160 As I suspected, m’lord.&#160 Major flaw in the J2 circuit.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Fine.&#160 And in whose head is Kor going to sink his bat’leth this&#160 time?

OZY McCOOL:&#160 Personally, I’d start with the union writers.&#160 They’ve got all manner of plot devices up their sleeves, and they’ve had it in for you ever since you beheaded Allan.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Point.

VENOMOUS (chuckling):&#160 Mheh.&#160 That’s what I like about you guys – no foolin’ around, cut to the chase.&#160 Okay, Kor, see to it.

KORRIOTH:&#160 (grunt)

—

Okay, we’re officially back online here, and all it cost me was my primary keyboard.&#160 Fry’s will be furnishing me a replacement shortly.

In the meantime, we’ll catch up on the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 beginning tonight – Heights will play its annual one-and-done playoff game this evening, and I’ve some thoughts on Incognito-Juanita Martin (and no – that’s not a typo.)

Oh…and anyone who even dares breathe&#160 the number “51” dies.&#160 You have been warned.

Denizens, every once in a while I venture out of my little mac-and-cheese Comfort Zone&#153 here to partake of the Blogosphere&#153.&#160 One of the sites I frequent is Twitchy, which follows stuff going on in the Twittersphere&#153.

And, every once in a while, I will (ahem) partake in some of the discussions.

(You just know&#160 where this is going, don’t you?)

Anyway, one such “discussion” can be found right here.

And if you go to this portion of the comment thread, you’ll see where I start methodically taking her apart.&#160 Little Missy clearly isn’t terribly experienced in the art of online discussion/argument, and it shows.

Anyway, her latest response to me got caught in Twitchy’s moderation queue (translation:&#160 Bill Amos didn’t cotton well to her calling me an asshole…which, truth be told, didn’t bother me in the slightest), and Disqus generally won’t let you respond to those type comments.

So I have get to take my shot at her here.

Big mistake, Bill Amos.&#160 I’d’ve had to have been nice on Twitchy.&#160 I don’t have to be nice here.

Now then…”Lissa Cakes” (snicker):

If you want everthing to be proper go read a book and get off the internet.

Why don’t you come fucking make&#160 me, you stupid-assed bitch?&#160 I’ve asked you three times now what you intend to do about it if I don’t just go away and leave your skanky, syphilis-ridden ass alone, and you’ve kept your methane-spewing mouth shut all three times.&#160 If you think you’re such a hot piece of ass, why don’t you come make&#160 me “get off the Internet”?

Could it be that you don’t have a fucking clue about how abjectly impotent&#160 you are in this regard?&#160 Seriously, sweetie pie – I’m laughing&#160 at your petulant little whiny ass.

Better yet go play with your so called family!

Why, thank you, bimboid!&#160 Did that just yesterday, as a matter of fact.&#160 Before&#160 handing you your stupid ass on a platter.&#160 ROFL!!!!&#160

Just because you think you are a God does not mean you are.

Newsflash, honeybunch:&#160 I’ve never fancied myself as God, or even a&#160 god.&#160 I’m just a man – nothing more, nothing less.

But I am&#160 a lot more intelligent than you’ve shown yourself to be in this thread of ours over there.&#160 Frankly, I’m not that good at argument or debate, and I just made you look like a fucking-assed fool.&#160 (Now, so did everyone else in the conversation, but that’s beside the point.)

Now, if I can make you look that much like an asshat, either you’re not trying very hard or you’re just not that good.&#160 My money’s on the latter – seriously, you need to shut the fuck up for a while, watch & learn.

You stood up, opened your putrid piehole & got it smacked right back in your face.&#160 Don’t blame any of us if you can’t run with the big dogs yet.

People like you are the reason this country and the people in it suffer so much.

Waah, waah, waah.&#160 I type a few words that get under your skin on a web page, and suddenly I’m supposedly the one who caused bubonic plague.

Do allow me the privilege of calling you a waaaaaaaaahmbulance.

Here’s a clue, sweet cheeks:&#160 People “suffer” because they don’t prepare.&#160 (For that matter, people sometimes suffer even when they do&#160 prepare, but there’s little that can be done to prevent that.)&#160 I’ve had my share of suffering, and in almost all cases, it was because I fucked up somewhere, no one else.&#160 You don’t get to blame society’s ills on me or anyone else, trollop – at least, not if you want to be taken as anything else other than the mental lightweight you are.

Perhaps you will have a little less time to be an asshole once you are spending it in hell. Have a nice life or whatever.

You sound almost as if you want to have a hand in sending me there.

Okay, then.

1415 New Haven St, #1811, Arlington, Texas. It’s about four or five blocks north of AT&T Stadium.

Come spew your bullshit to my face and see what I do about it.&#160 Hell – bring your angst-ridden, alternative-grunge-rock-playing, metrosexual, half-assed excuse-for-a-boyfriend along with you.&#160 I’ll be oh-so-happy to kick his ass, too.

Let’s see whatcha got, Stupid Cunt&#153

Read this.

That’s an order.

ThatIsAll&#153.

Five years ago today, she came into my life.&#160 One year to the day thereafter, we married.

And my life’s been a living hell ever since.&#160

Still love her, though.

Happy anniversary, Mrs. Venomous!&#160

(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.&#160 It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

I got four hours of sleep last night. I’m fighting the obligatory yearly case of tonsillitis. My throat hurts like Hell ™, my body is racked with soreness, and – not to put too fine a point thereupon – I’m in need of a tube of Prep H.

You get the idea. (sigh)

So here I am on LBJ Freeway in Dallas, plodding my way through traffic, fighting hard the urge to fall asleep at the wheel, literally. I’m listening to our sports-talk/guy-talk station on AM, the Ticket (KTCK 1310), when the sports jocks there suddenly exclaim something to the effect of, “WTF…?!”. Apparently, a heavy jet has veered off course and slammed into one of the World Trade Center twin towers in New York City.

“Wow,” I’m thinking, “they’ll likely stay with this one all day”, and I immediately turn over to the news/talk station here, WBAP 820, for all the coverage. Yes, I admit it – I’m fascinated by carnage.

At that point, though, I’m thinking tragic accident. Somebody’s plane lost its hydraulics and careened out of control, and the World Trade Center, unfortunately, was simply in the way.

That was 7:50. At 8:09, my worldview – and that of 280 million Americans, I would bet – changed radically.

At that point, a second jet slammed headfirst into the other tower. At that point, it’s not just a major tragedy. This looks just a weeeee bit too organized to be a coincidence.

It’s 8:20 when I get to the office, and I meet my buddy and old Wingtip Courier dispatcher as he’s driving up. He hasn’t been paying attention to anything. We get inside the office, and I bring him and our other compadre up to speed on things (he wasn’t listening to the radio, either, which was surprising). I go into my office and try pulling up a video stream for any of this. It’s 8:25.

Fifteen minutes later, the message is clear: America is under attack for the first time in 60 years. Yet another heavy jet has crashed – this one into the Pentagon. Reports are coming in about multiple hijackings. I’ve read a report about a worldwide alert issued last Friday concerning our resident international terrorist, Osama bin Laden, Two & two are quickly starting to come together.

(Side note: Don’t let them tell you they had no warning. I’m not kidding about that worldwide alert concerning bin Laden. They knew. Damned right they knew.)

(SECOND SIDE NOTE:&#160 As I go through the years, I’m less inclined to blame the Bush Administration than I was nine years ago.&#160 Sure, they knew it was possible, but all they had was a general warning.&#160 Nothing specific that said they were going to do what they did precisely on that day.&#160 So the Bush Administration gets a pass from me on this one.

The Demoscum, on the other hand…)

I can’t pull up anything on the ‘Net – and I have a T1 at work. The radio offers some details, but I want to know more. I run across the street to the CompUSSR to scope out the TV images.

And ohmigod – what TV images. I saw the second plane come in behind the first tower, and a plume of fire and deep black smoke explode out the other side. I saw the collapsed side of the Pentagon. I saw both WTC towers collapse – I had to ask someone if they’d collapsed all the way, so incredulous was the scene there. (A third building nearby would collapse six hours later.) I heard reports of yet another plane crash – this one near Pittsburgh. Rumor has it that the plane was headed to Camp David – we’re somewhere around the anniversary of the Camp David accords, so I hear.

Returned to work around 11:00 in a state of near-shock. Twenty minutes later, I received the go-ahead to go home. After a quick stop-off at the school to check on my wife, I arrived home and turned on the TV to Fox.

The images there were even more unbelievable than before. Fox had the direct angle on the second tower hit. They also had better angles on the collapse of both towers – although by that time, there was so much smoke & dust that one could hardly make anything out.

After a quick lunch, I sit down here to gather news stories, and I find this.

That’s right, sports fans. Here are a group of Palestinian squids laughing, dancing and cheering the attack on us, whom they call “the Great Satan”.

Compassionate people, those Palestinians.

Okay, now that I’ve bored you with my day, here’s my analysis: CNN early on was doing everything it could to avoid calling it a terrorist attack. But, Spatulaites & Spatulaettes, it’s too coordinated, too organized to be anything but. These events had to be planned months in advance. Certain people had to be installed at just the right junctures in order to pull this off – our airport security procedures, despite the fact that they’re handled by part-timers making minimum wage, are still way too strict. People who knew how to fly those planes had to arrange for passage on these planes. This would have been a major undertaking for simply one airliner – for four to have been hijacked in this manner and turned into suicide machines screams for the fact that this is more than just a Chinese fire drill.

So. Who’s got the capability to pull it off? Who has the money to train these thugs, place them right where they needed to be placed, and then turned loose? And who among them hates us enough to target us? Not to mention, who’s stupid-assed enough to try it?

If you haven’t figured it out by now, go back to school and take a comprehensive reading course. You think about it, there’s really only one man who qualifies: Osama bin Laden.

There can be no question. The mastermind behind the 1993 bombing at the aforementioned World Trade Center is so consumed with hatred for the United States that it sticks in his craw that he failed to bring us down eight years ago. So he decided to try and finish the job, gambling that we’ll be too chicken-shit to do anything about it.

(Second side note: Yeah, the Palestinians and the Taliban in Afghanistan are denying responsibility. Don’t believe the bastards. This is their baby.)

This is where George W. Bush needs to prove him wrong. Take this one to the bank, my friends: The Bush presidency – whether he believes it or not, whether he likes it or not – rides on how he handles this.

America is screaming for justice. More to the point, America is screaming for revenge. This is nothing short of an act of war. Yes, war. There’s been a formally undeclared one on us now, by most of the non-Israeli countries of the Middle East, for several years now. The Muslims hate our guts. The Syrians, the Iraqis, the Iranians – we’re their enemy. “Death To America” has been cruising at #1 on the Middle Eastern Top 40 for several years. They’re getting bolder, too – because they think we’re too cowardly to fight back. They think we’ve forgotten how to fight.

If George Bush has any balls, now’s the time to prove them wrong.

This is your solution, like it or not: Any country harboring terrorists – that would include Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, et. al. – must be wiped from the face of the earth.

Scramble 30 bombers. Five warheads each – six if the plane will hold it. Bomb the shit out of these countries – get rid of these raghead bastards.

So what if you take innocents out, too? This is war, people. They don’t care about killing our innocents; why should we give a shit about theirs??

And that goes for the Palestinians, too. Let’s do Israel a favor and eliminate those sons-of-bitches from the annals of history, as well. They want to laugh and make merry at our misfortune, they need to pay the ultimate price.

Show the world some balls, George W. Teach them that there’s a price for fucking with America. Demonstrate to them that we have not forgotten how to fight!

One more year has passed.

Still no “Reverend” (hack, spit) Mykki Chickenshit.

Still no sock-puppet “Von Vockerman”.

Still no $66.

One would think the pussy could have at least&#160 sent one of his inflatable dolls down here.

You know, to at least put up some semblance of a fight…?

But I guess not.

Oh, well.

The Mississippi State Bulldogs may not have won the College World Series, but by golly they made it all the way to the final series! This team has made it further than any other Bulldog team in school history! We are proud of them!

‘Nuff said, I think.

Oog.