Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

We start my Glorious Week of Vacation&#153 with a Grab-Bag&#153 item, courtesy of the Sibling Unit&#153.

Subject: Fwd: Electric Fence

If you have ever used an electric fence or know someone who has one you should read this.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.

Mheh.&#160

Oh, snap.

(Hat tip:&#160 Former LENSnetter Bob Blaylock.)

Well, never let it be said that the dumbass doesn’t have a sense of humor.

We always knew that Donna McCrabbs, aka the World’s Greatest Ever Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever!&#153, had a severely overinflated opinion of himself.&#160 Certainly all of Leftist Libtardia&#153 always thought so, and made it a point to shout down anyone who dared to disagree.

Now McBlabby is…(snicker)…tooting his own horn.

During an appearance on the interview show Barfly , former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb said he saw himself as a Hall of Famer, even invoking the name of a few former greats to make his point.

“Absolutely,” McNabb said when asked if he would vote for himself for the Hall of Fame. “One thing that people don’t realize [is] I never played the game to make it to the Hall of Fame. I played the game because I love it. I played the game to win. I’m a competitor. When I step out on that field, I feel like I’m the best player on the field. … I played at the pinnacle, I played at the highest of my career. And I would vote for myself for the Hall of Fame, and I played with probably two or three other Hall of Famers.”

Yeah, well, Reggie White was a helluva lot better player than you ever were, Donna.

Helluva lot better man, too, come to think of it.

“Peyton never won the big game until he won the Super Bowl finally. Dan Marino never won the big game. But does that mean his career is a failure? No, not at all,” McNabb said. “And a lot of times, if we want to sit and look at the numbers for certain players, then we need to look at numbers for all of them.”

“When we want to sit and look at numbers — because that’s what it is when it comes to the Hall of Fame — my numbers are better than Jim Kelly, better than Troy Aikman, better than a lot of the guys who are in the Hall of Fame. But one thing they do have is a Super Bowl.”

That may&#160 have just a weeeeeeeeee&#160 little bit to do with it, don’t you think?

But no worries, Donna.&#160 You may get in the Hall some day.&#160 On the Senior ballot, perhaps.

But you know the old adage: If one could buy you for what you were worth, and sell you for what you thought&#160 you were worth…&#160

Great Honkin’ Cthulu, we could use more backbone like this in the GOP.

As reported in detail at Lost Lettermen and the Kansas City Star, 5-year-old Emma Burton of Olathe, Kan., refused to participate in a class coloring assignment when she and her classmates were told to color in a Jayhawk, the mascot of the University of Kansas. The coloring exercise was part of the kindergarten class’ celebration of the state of Kansas.

However, Emma wouldn’t comply with her teacher’s instructions. Instead, according to her mother — Bug Bytes blogger Julie Burton — the four-foot tall tot brazenly refused to color the Jayhawk on the grounds that she doesn’t like the University of Kansas. She took the Jayhawk sheet she had been handed, walked up to her teacher and asked for a Powercat (the mascot of Kansas State) to color. When Burton was told there weren’t any Powercats to color, she threw the Jayhawk in the trash.

Go read the rest.

Honors her father & mother?&#160 Doesn’t back down in the face of oppressive official adversity?

Damn, I love that kid!&#160

Well, Denizens, I’ve gotta do something to get my blood pressure under control, seeing as Roger Goodfella’s No Fair League can’t be arsed to hire full-time zebras who would be somewhat more than fairly competent to know the difference between a busted route & intentional grounding…

…so here, to try to get us all in a better mood today, comes this from Ronaldus Magnus:

Enjoy.

So the paper insert inside the box of Just For Men&#160 said…

(Hey, you&#160 try turning completely gray before age 30 and going 14 years like that and see how you&#160 feel, m’kay???)

…it said “Out of respect for the environment, our gloves have changed to a more sustainable material.”

And so did the other&#160 paper insert they put inside the box.

And the overwhelming likelihood is that this batch of boxes, at the very least, contained an extra paper insert, just like mine.

“Respect for the environment”???

(snort)

Stop the presses!

I can’t believe this is happening!!!

If/when this shows up in the papers, it’ll probably be in six-inch “2nd coming” type!!!!!

This is abso-fucking-lutely in-fucking-credible!!!1!!ONE!!1!!1ELEVENTYTEEN!!1~1

Spread the word.&#160

(Hat tip to a co-worker of mine, who shall remain nameless. (And is probably eternally grateful for it.))

Unfortunately, Denizens, I don’t have any stories to tell about having kicked an Occupussy’s ass during my Black Friday shopping experience (yes, I went – scored myself a damn good monitor, too), so here’s something gleaned from the Backyard&#153, courtesy of my sister-in-law:

Note, if you will, that this particular laptop is running…Ubuntu.

Cool, huh?&#160

Got this from a friend o’ mine off o’ Facebook Hell&#153…

I know, I know…the Vicar’s having a Facepalm Moment&#153 Right About Now&#153…&#160

(Crossposted to the Rott – this was just too damned good not to share.)

(Hat tip Drudge – although I tend to wonder if he’d really want it, y’know?)

They use the corner of their huts as personal toilets.

They wipe their asses…with their hands.

They view women as less valuable than farm animals – in fact, they’d rather have sex with the animals.

They are the Most Offensive Creatures On The Face Of The Earth&#153

And they are offended…when they hear you fart.

(No, I’m not making this up. Or to be more succinct – I shit you not.)

So here’s the news: audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.

I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard. Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.

They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).

But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.

So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned — you may have to hold it in… at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.

Doesn’t that just rip you a new one?

OTOH, I think we’ve found a way to rid ourselves of Bawney Fwank…

[SCENE:&#160 On the bridge of ISS Poseidon, the Realm’s new Federation-class prototype.&#160 Admiral Darth Venomous is still mired away in Facebook Hell&#153, and the bridge is empty, save for a couple of technicians named (ironically enough) Berkeley & Zhamno.

Zhamno is fiddling around with the Ops controls.&#160 Berkeley is egging him on.]

BERKELEY:&#160 Yeah, yeah!&#160 Do it!&#160 C’mon!

[Zhamno touches one last control.&#160 On the viewscreen, the picture changes.]

ZHAMNO:&#160 Schweet!

[At that moment, the turbolift doors fly open, revealing Supreme General Rayegun, who isn’t the happiest of campers right at that moment.]

RAYEGUN:&#160 What in the name of Fek’lhr&#160 are you two doing?!?!

BERKELEY, ZHAMNO:&#160 GENERAL, SIR!!!&#160 Uh…uh…(ulp!)

RAYEGUN:&#160 Never mind that.&#160 Quit playing with the effing tractor beam and prep this bridge!&#160 We launch in fifteen minutes!

BERKELEY:&#160 Uh…sir?

RAYEGUN:&#160 We’ve located the Admiral.&#160 We’re going to assist Mrs. Venomous in rescue operations.

ZHAMNO:&#160 But…but, sir…what about your ship?

RAYEGUN:&#160 The Generalette took it.&#160 Something called a “girls’ night out”.&#160 Don’t ask, just move!!!

BERKELEY, ZHAMNO:&#160 Yes, sir, aye aye, sir!!!&#160 {They scurry as Rayegun exits.]

—

Prayers & well wishes for the quake area.

…comes from “Another Drew” on Patterico’s board, when he says…

There is now conclusive evidence that Osama Bin Laden is dead. Last week he registered to vote in Chicago.

Thread winner.&#160 Blog winner.&#160 Blogosphere winner.

The competition can stop now.&#160

Payback is such&#160 a bitch, ain’t it, Miami?

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!!11!!!!ONE!!!ELEVENTYTEEN!!!1!~

For your weekend merriment, this came from LC ORWN, engine builder for Rottie Racing (link):

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing.
He was cruising along the beach in his Popemobile when he heard a frantic commotion just off shore
A helpless man wearing a New York Yankees jersey was struggling frantically to escape the jaws of a 25 ft shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with 3 men wearing Boston Red Sox jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks side. The other 2 reached out and pulled the bleeding , semi-conscious Yankee fan from the water and using autographed Manny Ramirez baseball bats, the three Beantown heroes beat the shark to death and dragged it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned the men to the beach, ” I give you my blessing for your brave actions” he told them. ” I had heard that there was some bitter hatred between Red Sox fans and Yankee fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth”

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, ” who was that? ”

“It was the Pope” one replied, ” he is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God’s wisdom”

”Well,” the harpooner said, ”he may have access to all of God’s wisdom, but he sure doesn’t know anything about shark fishing..How’s the bait holding up?”

Denizens, for your weekend we’re going to combine a little countdownage, a little cute-overloadage and a little ROFLMAO-age.

(In other words, I triple-dog-dare you to watch the following without cracking a smile.&#160 Seriously.&#160 I dare you.)

Laugh with me!&#160 A-hahahahaha…!

Seven.&#160 Six.