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Denizens, your assignment for today is to read this.

And this.

What they said.

That’s it, GOP.&#160 You’ve lost me.

Bad enough you fuckheads in the Senate are bending over and grabbing the ankles for every little Tom&#225s, Cabaza de Boyo and Vicente that crosses the Rio Grande.

No, the weasels on the end of your leashes, the fucking Welcoming Committee Border Patrol, has to point out all the hazards the pendejos&#160 will encounter upon illegally entering our country.&#160 Snakes…tarantulas…Minutemen…

The U.S. Border Patrol is tipping off Mexican authorities on the positions of members of the Minuteman civilian patrols.

U.S. officials have agreed to the notification process to reassure the Mexican government that the illegal immigrants’ rights are being observed, the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin of Ontario, Calif., reports.

That would be the rights that these illegal aliens DON’T HAVE…right?

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Chris Muir said it best yesterday:

Personally, I’d say, “Lock and Load”.

But that’s just me.

(NOTE:&#160 Chris, I’m hoping I have your permission to reprint this, given that it disappeared from your site with today’s strip.&#160 If not, feel free to email me – you have the addy.)

AUSTIN – Just a reminder to all Denizens (and LCs too, since this’ll be cross-posted in the Empire –

Don’t buy anything today.&#160 Big-ticket items, groceries, gas if you can possibly avoid it – anything.&#160 Keep your wallets in your pockets and your purses at home.

Instead, buy everything you want/need/gotta have/can’t do without tomorrow,&#160 May 1st.

The reason, as you should know by now is that the pendejos&#160 who are still here illegally plan on attempting to cripple our country’s economy – as if they think that the 11-12 million of them&#160 is somehow a larger number than the 280-290 million&#160 of us.

Oh, and if you should happen to notice any businesses closed tomorrow for this illegal alien temper tantrum, make a note of it and resolve not to do business there again.&#160 Let us know, too, so that we can show them our&#160 economic clout, as well.

Thatisall.

Oh, boo-hoo-hoo-fucking-hoo.

The guest workers undocumented workers illegal aliens invasion force is crying in its Dos Equis&#160 about the ICE raids that took place last week.&#160 And they’re whining because they think that it’s in retaliation for the Million Pendejo&#160 March&#153 a couple weeks ago.

Ice cream vendor Floriano Maldonado, 48, believes that the raids are real and that they are directly related to the April 9 march when hundreds of thousands of people marched through Dallas advocating immigrants’ rights.

“We told them, ‘We’re here!’ and now they’re coming after us,” Mr. Maldonado said.

Yeah?&#160 So?&#160 Whatever the fuck&#160 about it?&#160 I had family in law enforcement, and lemme tell ya something, cabezas de los boyos&#160 – when lawbreakers rub it in an LEO’s face, said LEO tends to get a mite pissed about it.&#160 I mean, it’s not like you bastards can say you weren’t expecting us to just bend over and grab the ankles, now can you?

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‘S a funny thing about political capital:&#160 Y’always think you have more than you do, and y’always spend it faster than you think.

Case in point:&#160 George W. “Wussya” Bush.&#160 Oh yeah, after the ’04 election, he crowed that he had a ton of the stuff, and that he was going to “spend it”.&#160 And then he proceeded to do the drunken sailor act thereupon.

Well, now he’s tapped.&#160 Last little bit – with me and a couple of other folks, anyway – came the other day when he flat-out refused to do squat about the undocumented workers guest workers illegal aliens invasion force that’s infected the country he swore to protect & defend.

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(Hat tip to LC Hujonwi – whose blog is a damned fine one that you oughta go read.)

Remember what they would always say about turnabout being fair play?

Go read this.&#160 Major-league nod warnings in effect.

It’s a damned&#160 good thing I was elsewhere Sunday.

This is why.

Listen up, pendejos.&#160 That’s my friend you sons-of-Mexibitches are fucking with.&#160 That guy’s been my friend since the old Fidonet days.

You fuck with him, ass-sombreros, you’re fucking with me.&#160 And I’m talking to each and every one of you so-called 500,000 cobardes.&#160 Comprendes?

You want war with the United States?&#160 We’ll be fucking happy to oblige, mierdas de pollos.

Anytime you want, putas.

Denizens, after you’ve taken the poll – oh, Hell&#153, maybe even before – go read this marvelous rant by Mark Steyn.

Nail head.&#160 Hammer.&#160 Assembly not required – Steyn’s already done it.

Run a picture of President Bush with the caption “Snipers Wanted” and nothing happens.&#160 Make an ass of yourself before a live studio audience and yell that they should go and stone Henry Hyde – zip, zero, nada, zilch, bupkis.

Dare to suggest, tongue-in-cheek, that maybe we should solve our border problems by shooting the illegal bastards the minute the cross our border, and watch the hornet’s nest erupt.

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This is satire.

Or is it?

No one should be surprised if something eerily similar to this happens sometime in the very near future.

For my part, I won’t call the cops.&#160 I’ll just call Mr. Springfield.&#160 Or Mr. Mossburg.

You get the idea.

UPDATE:&#160 Here’s another version.

Denizens, as most of you know, I’m not that enamored with polls or poll ratings.&#160 These people get the same 1500 out of the same pool of 5000 or so from each coast, or so it seems.&#160 And the questions are always phrased in such a fashion as to extract answers with a decidedly leftward lean to them.

In any event, they’ve never asked me,&#160 and I suspect they’ve never asked you, either – so F.E.T.E, as the Imperial Torturer&#153 is wont to say.

That said, I’m encouraged by this latest round of numbers.

A new Fox News poll shows President Bush’s job approval numbers on the rebound.

Bush’s approval rating jumped six points over last month’s result to 42 percent among Americans surveyed.

Hmmm.&#160 Could be because:&#160 a) the Lame Stream Media&#153 is finally beginning to report that all in Iraq is not as bad as they’ve been portraying it, and/or b) the President is finally listening to his base and grudgingly vowing to protect the US-Mexico border. (Now, whether Bush comes through on that is fodder for another post, but we’ll get to that later.)

Now, he might win some more brownie points by telling Pelosi the San Fran Skank&#153, Teddy-the-Red-Nosed-Senator and Dingy Harry Reid what they can go do with themselves – but if he likes&#160 his poll numbers in the 40s…well, who am I to argue?

His disapproval numbers still outpace that figure, however, with 48 percent dissatisfied with his job performance, primarily centered on the war in Iraq.

Meaningless, when you consider that one part of that number are the fucktards who are going to hate him anyway, and the other part consists of folks who don’t think he’s hitting the Islamofascists hard enough.

Roughly equal numbers of Americans surveyed think the president either shared the best information available regarding pre-Iraq war intelligence or that he intentionally misled the country on that intelligence.

Again, one side will believe whatever bullshit the Kosnutsacks throw out there, and the other side knows that the Donk bimbos had access to the same material and came to the same conclusion, so these numbers aren’t worrisome.

Democrats are trying to pound away at this apparent uneasiness with attacks on the president’s credibility coming from the usual suspects, such as Senators Ted Kennedy, John Kerry and Joe Biden, as well as Reps. Nancy Pelosi

And this is all they have?&#160 So you understand (yawn) why I’m not all that concerned, right?

and, surprisingly, Rep. John Murtha.

Why is this surprising?&#160 It’s now come out that Congressman Cut-and-Run wanted to hand our balls to Somalia, too.&#160 A president committed to finishing the job in a war is clearly anathema to a chickenshit like Murthafucker, so WTF?

The White House has taken measured steps to move forward with its policy agendas on the war on terrorism and Iraq, immigration reform, the U.S. economic policy and other issues.

Right.&#160 And, Mr. President – just a word of advice:&#160 These numbers will continue to go up the more you listen to us&#160 – your base – and less to the Short Bus&#153 riders on the Left.

We’re the ones that brung ya, W.&#160 Do the country a favor and dance with us.

Was a One-Legged Man&#153-type day today.&#160 (Fact is, may be a lot of those coming; I’m not sure how much blogging time I’ll get in this new gig.)

Fortunately, the Mothergoose came riding to the rescue with this gem.

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS POEM

I cross ocean,
poor and broke,
Take bus,
see employment folk.

Nice man treat me
good in there,
Say I need to
see welfare.

Welfare say,
“You come no more,
We send cash
right to your door.”

Welfare checks,
they make you wealthy,
Medicaid it keep
you healthy!

By and by,
I got plenty money,
Thanks to you,
American dummy.

Write to friends
in motherland,
Tell them ‘come
fast as you can.’

They come in turbans
and Ford trucks,
I buy big house
with welfare bucks

They come here,
we live together,
More welfare checks,
it gets better!

Fourteen families,
they moving in,
But neighbor’s patience
wearing thin.

Finally, white guy
moves away,
Now I buy his house,
and then I say,

“Find more aliens
for house to rent.”
And in the yard
I put a tent.

Send for family
they just trash,
But they, too,
draw the welfare cash!

Everything is
very good,
And soon we
own the neighborhood.

We have hobby
it’s called breeding,
Welfare pay
for baby feeding.

Kids need dentist?
Wife need pills?
We get free!
We got no bills!

American crazy!
He pay all year,
To keep welfare
running here.

We think America
darn good place!
Too darn good for
the white man race.

If they no like us,
they can scram,
Got lots of room in
Pakistan.

Makes you wanna grab the thirty-aught and head to the border, doesn’t it?

This is a damned good idea.

I’d recommend steel walls encased in this material to discourage pick-axing one’s way through it.&#160 Revitalizes the steel industry and makes it harder for guest workers undocumented immigrants illegal aliens to do something they’re not supposed to be doing anyway, i.e. crossing our borders illegally.

Plus, I think I’d sprinkle a few snipers sentries with outstanding hand/eye coordination along that wall at random intervals.&#160 Just to keep the aliens guessing.

But that’s just me.

Y’know what?&#160 I don’t care if they freakin’ are&#160 our neighbor.&#160 If they’re doing this, we don’t just need the Minutemen – we fuckin’ need troops down there, fully armed and on full alert.

The Mexican army is escorting those attempting to cross over the U.S. border illegally – including known drug-runners – to areas not patrolled by the Minuteman Project near Naco, Ariz., say Border Patrol sources and other officials including a U.S. congressman.

Excuse me?&#160 People we don’t want here, escorted by the Mexican military?

Pardon me for pointing this out – but is that not the very definition of the word “invasion”???

Rep. Tom Tancredo, R-Colo., chairman of the Congressional Immigration Reform Caucus, denounced the action by the Mexican military and called on President Bush to do the same.

To Hell&#153 with that – get a couple divisions down there on the double, at the very least!!!

Border Patrol sources say the Mexican army recently moved about 1,000 troops to the Agua Prieta region, just south of where the Minutemen are. These troops, the sources say, are diverting all of the illegal alien and drug-smuggling traffic away from the Minutemen.

If this isn’t an out-and-out act of war, I’m not sure if I know what is.&#160 And the next time little Vinny Fox sets foot in this country, he should be thrown in one of Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s tent prisons to rot until he agrees to let us shoot anyone trying to cross.&#160 This is our&#160 country, not theirs, and it’s high time they realized it.

Just prior to the launch of the Minuteman Project March 30, Miguel Escobar Valdez, Mexican consul in Douglas, Ariz., said the Mexican military was bracing for possible violence on the border.

“The Mexican army is on alert,” Escobar said. “Also, law enforcement will be vigilant because the situation is very volatile. This is because, I have to say it, there are violent and radical elements on both sides of the border.”

Bet we can find yours before you find ours, Escobutthead, you hijo de la puta.

Fucking bastards…

UPDATE:&#160 Misha has his own take on the matter, and it’s a good read, too.