Posted by Darth Venomous @ 7:00
The Department of “Gee, Why Didn’t I Think Of That?” alerts us to this future Neiman’s catalog item – a female robot.
One wonders what the feminazis at
NAG NOW would think about this.
Devoted Aiko — “in her 20s” — has a stunning 32-23-33 figure, pretty face and shiny hair.
She is always happy to clean the house for “husband” Le, help with his accounts or get him a drink.
Computer ace Le, 33, from Ontario, Canada, has spent two years and £14,000 building his dream girl.
Hey, let’s outfit her in a mink coat. Get PETA pissed off at “her”, too.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 21:59
The Department of Bait And Switch brings us this alert about the Leftards getting a mite antsy over those with whom the Ayatollah Obambi is surrounding himself for the Al-Obambi excuse-for-a-government.
Liberals are growing increasingly nervous – and some just flat-out angry – that President-elect Barack Obama seems to be stiffing them on Cabinet jobs and policy choices.
Obama has reversed pledges to immediately repeal tax cuts for the wealthy and take on Big Oil. He’s hedged his call for a quick drawdown in Iraq. And he’s stocking his White House with anything but stalwarts of the left.
“He has confirmed what our suspicions were by surrounding himself with a centrist to right cabinet. But we do hope that before it’s all over we can get at least one authentic progressive appointment,” said Tim Carpenter, national director of the Progressive Democrats of America.
OpenLeft blogger Chris Bowers went so far as to issue this plaintive plea: “Isn’t there ever a point when we can get an actual Democratic administration?”
You don’t suppose…(gasp!)…naw, it couldn’t be…(AIEEE!!!)…please, Maitreya, no…(GASP, ARRRRRRGH!!!!)…NOT THE THIRD BUSH TERM!!!!!!!!
(Insert all the s you can muster with the next 12 hours of oxygen.)
Now, Denizens – this is not to say that we’re about to be pleasantly surprised, okay? We’re not – this is still a needle-dicked, ball-less wonder of a socialist proon (gratuitous Star Wars novel alert!) with delusions of mere adequacy.
But to think, even for a second, that the pussies on the Left have gotten the political dildo shoved up their asses again…
…well, it do be to laugh, don’t it?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 7:53
(Hat tip: LC Sig94.)
We got cats sleeping with dogs, raining toasters, the sun rising in the West, pigs flying, the whole nine yards: A liberal finally gets it:
If a Bush-bashing, Republican-hating nincompoop like Alec Baldwin understands that Democrats are responsible for the current financial crisis, and is willing to say so on national television, why can’t America’s so-called “real” journalists?
Although it seems unlikely that Baldwin watches “The Factor,” it is awfully coincidental that roughly 24 hours after Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly tore Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) apart for his role in propping up Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the typically inept Baldwin, appearing on HBO’s “Real Time,” not only pointed fingers at Frank for the current crisis, but also blamed former President Clinton and fellow Democrats.
BALDWIN: I’m gonna rape you…The, the thing we have to remember, a friend of mine who is very close to the financial community in New York pointed out that Democrats have a lot of the responsibility for this as well. I mean, it was Clinton who killed the Glass-Steagall, and it happened under a Democratic president. Barney Frank and his committee, they, they kept propping up Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac saying everything’s fine, everything’s fine, everything’s good. And it was his job to know everything wasn’t fine. And Barney Frank let you down and let us down as well. And so, but I want to say there’s blame to go both ways. But I will say, I want to, I maybe keep beating this to death, but I still think anyone in this Congress who voted to add $140 billion to that bill, they should be ashamed of themselves. That is a disgrace. It’s a disgrace. This Congress is a disgrace, Democrat and Republican.
Remember, guys, this is the same Alec Baldwin who once threatened to leave the US if Bush got elected.
Damn. Just, damn.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 19:58
A suspected copper thief whose flesh melded on a utility pole after he was hit with about 7,000 volts has died.
James Buster McKay, 51, died at about 11 p.m. Saturday at Parkland Memorial Hospital, the Dallas County medical examiner’s office confirmed today. He had been listed in critical condition. A Dallas Fire-Rescue official said Mr. McKay had suffered third-degree burns and was burned on about 50 percent of his body.
When crews arrived, they found cut wires on the ground and Mr. McKay stuck between transformers on the pole, police said.
Dallas Fire-Rescue spokeswoman Sherrie Lopez said the man had been hit with about 7,000 volts, possibly twice. The rescue was hindered because his flesh had adhered to the metal components on the pole. Much of his clothing had either “burned off or blown off,” she said.
Along with what little brains he had.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 14:48
As you guys probably know by now, I’m rather…dubious…about the intelligence of the average environmental wacko.
KORRIOTH: Great Honkin’ Cthulu, you’re positively apopletic about it!
OZY MCCOOL: “Hell, even McCool’s got more sense than some of these assclowns!!!”
KORRIOTH: And we wonder about that sometimes.
OZY MCCOOL: You pothole-headed son of a…
LSIK&T: Awright, boys. Did I really say that about you, McCool?
OZY MCCOOL: Stardate 64091.5, during the last mission to the Badl…
LSIK&T: (wincing) Okay, okay, I take it back.
OZY MCCOOL: Thank you, m’Lord.
LSIK&T: From now on, I mean it about McManx.
T-BONE MCMANX: HEY!!!!!!!!
However, it’s been a long time since any of them were this stupid.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:12
One that – gasp, arrrrrrgh!!!! – didn’t come from the SpatulaGoddess.
It’s right here. Prepare to scrunch up your face a la Kermit the Frog.
I just have one question: What the Hell is a Belvedere? ‘Zat any relation to the Edsel?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 19:02
I don’t give a shit.
I flat-out don’t. Give. A. Shit.
I have more important things about which to worry, other things with which to concern myself, than what a standup comic, whose only other claim to fame at this juncture was as a supporting actor on a sitcom, had to say to a couple of assholes whose gangsta getup was likely funnier than said comic’s routine.
If you want to give two-point-eight Rotund Rear-ends of Rodentia about it, feel free. Knock yerself out.
Just leave me the fuck out of it.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 7:30
(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess.)
Think you’re having a bad day at work? Got a co-worker you can’t stand to be around because he’s so pissy-faced? (Mykki Limpwrist’s co-workers could probably identify with this.)
Be glad you’re not around this woman. (Better yet, thank Cthulu you’re not one of her patients. Eeg.)
TOKYO (Reuters) – A Japanese nurse who tried to relieve her work stress by tearing off patients’ nails was sentenced Monday to three years and eight months in prison.
The 32-year-old Japanese woman, who worked at a hospital in the ancient capital of Kyoto, tore off the fingernails and toenails of six female patients in September and October 2004. The patients were all immobile after strokes or other illnesses.
The Kyoto District Court said the woman had committed the cruel acts to relieve stress she was under from extra work forced on her by her supervisors.
Memo to Don Rumsfeld: I’ve got your next chief interrogator, right here…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 13:30
Every so often, the SpatulaGoddess will get a wild hare and “tag” me with some meme or other. (Usually, it’s something that the Imperial Cluebat Manufacturer, Russ Emerson, has tagged her with first. Where he gets it, who knows? But, I digress.)
This time, she’s tagged me with a “Series of Fours” – and requested that I participate.
Now, she’s the SpatulaGoddess – and if I don’t comply, she might take her Yahoo Messenger avatar and growl at me. Oog. (shudder)
So, thusly, here are my “fours”:
Four Jobs I’ve Had:
Customer Service Representative
Billing Administrator (the guy that cranks out the invoices)
PC techie (the guy that holds your future in his hands (evil maniacal laugh))
Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over, and Have:
All the Star Trek movies
All the Star Wars movies
Four Places I have Lived:
Fort Worth, TX
Forney, TX (Don’t get around much, do I?)
Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:
Hockey (unless the Dallas Stars are playing like they are now (shitty), then Football)
Four Places I’ve Been On Vacation:
Pikes Peak, Colorado Springs, CO
Turner Falls, OK
Four Favorite Foods:
Either my Kitchen Sink Stew or the Hyde to its Jekyll, Train Wreck Stew
Wings (Preferably from Hooters (great scenery, mheh), but Humperdink’s are good, Outback’s are splendid, and even Chili’s will do in a pinch
Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:
At a football or hockey game. Any football or hockey game. Preferably football
With naughty women doing naughty things. (big grin)
With good friends – specifically, all the guys that came to Texas Blogfest ’05
On a plane, going someplace fun
Four People I’m Tagging With This:
And – last but not least – no one.
Sorry, SpatulaGoddess. Love you ‘n all, but “tagging” isn’t my thing, y’know?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 8:37
Back during the divorce from Steffi the Doublewide Bitch Supreme, I was constantly advised by people not to write about her backwoods country-hick ass on these pages. Something about not giving her anything she could hand to her fat-assed excuse-for-an-attorney, if memory serves.
On the other hand, Steffi & I had nothing on this couple…
A couple who apparently aired their grievances with each other in public have been told to stop being “immature” and seek counselling.
Their failing relationship was made public when a banner hung over the A27 Brighton bypass signed “JBS” said: “Wendy, I want a divorce”.
A replacement banner then read: “No way. You are the cheat! Wendy.”
Now that’s what I call airing dirty laundry in public. You guys think that maybe that relationship might be on the rocks? (chuckle)
A spokesman for Sussex Police said permission had to be given for signs to be put up at the side of the road.
“This may seem amusing but our job is casualty reduction. We do not want people looking up into the sky and not on the road,” he said.
“Amusing” doesn’t do it justice, Officer. They don’t make soap operas this good.
The first 6ft-wide banner was draped from a bridge over the bypass in the Hollingbury area last week, with the angry riposte placed at exactly the same spot a few days later.
Apart from the initials and the name Wendy the identity of the couple has not been revealed.
However, a senior counsellor for the relationship advice group Relate said it was clear they were very angry with each other.
Christine Northam said: “These signs show that this couple are acting out the turmoil of the break-up of their marriage in front of an audience.
“They must be very angry to do this in such a public way. It is certainly very immature and we would urge them to seek counselling… they seem furious.”
Actually, I’d like to see how this turns out. Now there’s a reality series I might tune in for…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 19:12