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Fox News Channel is reporting confirming that Rick Perry is planning to perform the dreaded “suspension” of his presidential campaign.&#160 There’s supposedly a 10:00a (CT) news conference scheduled.

If this is true, I will be later on delivering the Mother Of All Political Rants&#153 against a certain Filipina skank bitch and her little toadie cunt-licking sycophants.

Stay tuned.

And at long last, Widdle Jonnie Huntsboy has seen his personal “Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin” and decided to hang it up.

On Monday morning, Jon Huntsman announced his decision to quit his presidential bid following a poor showing in New Hampshire’s Jan. 10 primary. In his announcement, he derided the negativity permeating the GOP primary race and immediately threw his support behind Mitt Romney.

“Today, I am suspending my campaign for the presidency,” the former Utah governor and U.S. ambassador to China said during a news conference held in Myrtle Beach, S.C. “I believe it is now time for our party to unite around the candidate best equipped to defeat Barack Obama. Despite our differences and the space between us on some of the issues, I believe that candidate is Governor Mitt Romney.”

Oh, you really didn’t expect anything different, did you?&#160 One Mormon endorsing another, that is?

This’ll add, what? Another 1.54 votes to Mittens’ total?

Yawn.

Well, she’s done.

Rep. Michele Bachmann will “suspend her campaign” a senior campaign officials tells ABC News, just hours after placing last in the Iowa caucuses and vowing to continue in South Carolina.

Bachmann finished sixth in Tuesday’s Iowa caucus.

Awwww, isn’t that tooooo bad?&#160 Michelle “Malicious” Malkin’s hand-picked honey-girl candidate, out.&#160 Fall down, go boom.&#160

Iowa has played a visible and vital role in Bachmann’s campaign since its inception.

It became the backdrop of her presidential bid when in June she announced her candidacy &#160 (Their link, not mine.&#160 -DV)

Yeah, it’s called “putting all your eggs in one basket, then dropping the basket”.

in her hometown of Waterloo.

Waterloo?&#160 She sure about that?

Thanks for playing, Shelly girl.&#160 And, as your strap-on buddy “Malicious” would say, DLTDHYITAOTWO.

We paid a lot for that door.

Ouch.&#160 That’s gonna leave a mark.

Ron Paul’s campaign is denying an accusation from Michele Bachmann that her former Iowa campaign manager, state Sen. Kent Sorenson, was paid to defect.

Hours after appearing with Bachmann at an event, Sorenson endorsed the Texas congressman at a Des Moines rally saying Paul is the most conservative of the top-tier candidates.

Bachmann says Sorenson “was offered a large sum of money” and that he previously told her that ‘everyone sells out in Iowa, why shouldn’t I.'”

The torpedoing of Malicious Malkin’s honeygirl candidate aside, this speaks to two things:

1) How bad’s Michelle “Not an Elvis Expert” Bachmann’s campaign gotta be if even her Iowa campaign manager thinks it sucks?

2) More to the point, how good a judge of character can Bachman even be&#160 if her campaign staff is picking The GOP’s Crazy Uncle In The Basement&#153 as a place to where they should jump?&#160 I mean, Perry’s camp has openings, doesn’t it?&#160 That’s the best Sorensen can come up with?

Anyway, s’long, Michelle, thanks for playing.

And like Elvis – whom you hardly knew – your campaign has left the building.

Jim Hoft reports (via the PO’d Patriot) that Glenn Beck has apparently decided he wants a second Bambi term.

While talking with a caller yesterday morning on his radio show, Glenn Beck said that he would probably pick Ron Paul as a third party candidate over Newt Gingrich, if he had to choose between the two.

(I couldn’t find the blurb, but I’ll take Jim’s word for it.)

Anyway, here’s the vid:

Good luck in your next career, Beck – whatever that is, you moron.

(NOTE:&#160 Hey, Paultards!&#160 Unlike Sister Toldjah, I don’t just let anybody comment here.&#160 You have to register, then&#160 I have to approve your first comment.&#160 And, seeing what you pussies tried to do over on her site the other day, that ain’t likely.&#160 So you Ronulans can shove it up your skanky asses if you don’t like it.

Or you can grow a set, come to my doorstep & say it to my face.&#160 Bring an HMO.)

Sister Toldjah tells us about Herbie Cain’s decision to “re-assess” his dwindling chances of even getting a remote sniff of the White House campaign, in light of the latest accusation d’ peccadillo&#160 against him.

An Atlanta businesswoman is breaking her silence, claiming she has been involved in a 13-year-long affair with Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain.

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, FOX 5 senior I-Team reporter Dale Russell sat down with Ginger White, who had a story to tell.

“I’m not proud,” White told Russell. “I didn’t want to come out with this. I did not.”

Don’t believe it for a nanosecond, Denizens.&#160 Unless she & Herbie were an item alllllllll over Hotlanta, all she had to do was keep her effing mouth shut.&#160 No one gave two flying fucks at donut holes who she was before this, and nobody’ll give so much as one after Herbie drops out of the race.

Which, if he can figure out what “Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin” means, should be AnyDayNow&#153.

Ginger White says she met Herman Cain in the late 90s in Louisville, Kentucky, when as president of the National Restaurant Association, he made a presentation. She was impressed. She says they shared drinks afterwards and he invited her back to his hotel room.

“’I’d like to see you again,’” White said Cain told her. “’You are beautiful to me, and I would love for us to continue this friendship.’”

She says in his hotel room, he pulled out a calendar and invited her to meet him in Palm Springs. She accepted, and she says the affair began.

[…]

She says during the next 13 years, he would fly her to cities where he was speaking and he lavished her with gifts. She says they often stayed at the Ritz Carlton in Buckhead and dined at The Four Seasons restaurant. She says he never harassed her, never treated her poorly, and was the same man you see on the campaign trail.

[…]

She says the physical relationship ended about eight months ago, right before Cain announced he was running for president. But the communication did not.

Don’t get me wrong, Denizens.&#160 I don’t for a minute believe a single syllable this tawdry trollop is saying.&#160 There has been too many of these accusations, saying exactly the same thing, to think these bimbos haven’t been coached.

But it doesn’t matter what you & I know, guys.&#160 The majority of the American Idol-fed, pablum-scarfing douchebaggery that we foolishly call citizens, will lap it up like cats on a saucer of milk laced with catnip.

Cain, as much as I dislike the man for his disrespect of Rick Perry, is bang on right about this one:&#160 Like Clarance Thomas before him, he is a victim of an attempted “high-tech lynching”.&#160 Problem is…this time, it worked.

And while I might not mind too much, all things considered – I do think that anyone who was involved in spreading this maliciousness (all&#160 of it) should be taken out back…and properly ventilated, if you know what I mean.

Asshats.&#160

UPDATE (hat tip Jim Hoft):&#160 Uh, oh.&#160 Maybe there is&#160 something to this one, after all.

Herman Cain acknowledged Thursday that he repeatedly gave Ginger White money to help her with “month-to-month bills and expenses” without telling his wife of more than 40 years.

In fact, the embattled presidential candidate said, his wife, Gloria, “did not know that we were friends until she (White) came out with this story” alleging that the two had a 13-year extramarital affair.

In his most candid interview since the latest allegations emerged, Cain adamantly maintained that he and White were no more than friends.

Uh, huh.&#160 To quote a certain SpatulaGoddess, “Yeah, right, whatever”.

Doesn’t matter if this specific episode was platonic or not.&#160 Doesn’t matter if he was merely “trying to help her financially” or whatever.&#160 The mere appearance&#160 of impropriety in this case is enough to torpedo this&#160 campaign.

G’night, Herbie, thanks for playing.

UPDATE the Twoth:&#160 Sure enough…

Herman Cain, the insurgent populist whose candidacy has been ensnared by allegations of sexual impropriety, said Saturday that he is leaving the race for the Republican presidential nomination, saying that the allegations have cast a “cloud of doubt over me and this campaign.”

“As of today, with a lot of prayer and soul searching, I am suspending my presidential campaign,” he said at an event in Atlanta. “I am suspending my presidential campaign because of the continued distraction, the continued hurt . . . on me, on my family, not because we are not fighters, not because I am not a fighter.”

“…but because I am a horndog on a Clintonian scale, and where it was okay with Slick Willie, a Republican – ‘specially a black&#160 Republican – ‘Cain’t’&#160 gets away widdit.”

And, whereas before I thought the Ginger White story was 100% bullshit…now I’m not so sure.

(shrug) Meh, whatever.

(Hat tip:&#160 Allahpundit, via Fox News & Little Green Malkinballs)

Denizens, remember about six months ago when I declared Newt the Gingrinch’s presidential aspirations to be all but dead?

There’s an extremely maddening quality to Newt Gingrich: Every time he gets some momentum going and you think he might be an okay guy to vote for, he goes, sticks his size 13s in his mouth and makes you remember that he’s a libtard in RINO clothing.

Uh, oh.

Fox News poll: Gingrich 23, Romney 22, Cain 15

Yikes.

Not that I like Herbie Cain all that much – and until he apologizes to Rick Perry, he can kiss my ass – but I don’t give two flying fucks at rolling donuts what Cain did twenty years ago.

However, a Patterico commenter named Gazzer said it best:

Lessee, John Edwards can knock a bitch up. Ted Kennedy and Dodd can go all “Night at the Roxbury” on a waitress. Billy Jeff can rape with impunity and abuse Castro’s finest export on an intern (amongst other things), but if that Cain so much as looks sideways at a woman…

Nail.&#160 Head.

Find something else, Lame-Assed Media.

Being one who, heretofore, had been somewhat of a supporter of/identifier with the Tea Party, I was somewhat of a defender of one Christine O’Donnell, she of the witchcraft accusations of 2010.

Seriously.&#160 Let he whom has never absent-mindedly walked into the girls bathroom during “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) chuck the first pebble, y’know?&#160 In fact, I’m willing to bet that those who screeched the loudest about the witchcraft thing had a Ouija board or two in their own closets growing up.

That said – eventually, give someone enough rope, they’re apt to hang themselves.&#160 Just as O’Donnell’s done by throwing her support to Mittens.

Christine O’ Donnell, the former Republican Senate candidate and a Tea Party favorite during the 2010 election, said in an exclusive interview with ABC News that she has not only given money to presidential candidate Mitt Romney but also says she doesn’t think he is “getting a fair shake” from those within her own movement.

Romney has so far been highly criticized by the Tea Party movement, who sent protestors to picket during his debut September Tea Party Express event.

Jerry DeLumus, the chairman of the Granite State Patriots Liberty PAC, told ABC News at the Concord, N.H., event that he believed Romney was using the flashy Tea Party Express bus as a “photo op” and not because he is actually aligned with tea party principles.

But O’Donnell, who struggled with her own fair share of bad press during her Senate campaign, told ABC News that she tends to “empathize” when she sees “Romney’s record being so obviously distorted and twisted.”

Ah, yes.&#160 The Romney record (hat tip:&#160 the Emperor):

Lets recap: What Romney supported as Governor of Massachusetts:

1. Pro-abortion with full taxpayer funding.
2. Pro-state mandated healthcare.
3. Pro-government mandates in taxes and fees.
4. Pro-gay marriage; full-state sponsorship (1rst Governor).
5. Pro-transgendered education in public schools.
6. Pro-global warming caused by humans hysteria.
7. Pro-amnesty for illegal immigrants.
8. Anti-second Amendment.
9. Support of Ethanol Subsidies..
10. 75% of his Appointments were of Liberal Judges.
11. 47th state out of 50 in job creation.
12. Increased State spending 20.7% during his tenure.
13. Government employment grew 7.2% during his tenure.
14. Pro-Affirmative Action.
15. Romney will say whatever is necessary to get elected.

Among other things.

I hate to say it, but the establishment RINOs may have been nail-head, bang-on right&#160 about you, Esmerelda O’Donnell:

You’re a fuckin’ ditz.

In news that will shock the Uninitiated&#153 and damned few else…a leftard endorsed a leftard yesterday.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie endorsed former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney in New Hampshire today, providing the frontrunner for the GOP presidential nomination with a boost on the verge of tonight’s New Hampshire debate.

A what?

Ex-sqeeze me?&#160 Baking powder?

No, all KrispyKreme Christie (stolen from Mark Levin – thanks!) did was show his fat leftard ass to the rest of the world.&#160 I mean, it’s not like we didn’t already know he was closer to Jim Corzine than Ronaldus Magnus, y’know?

In fact, if you ask me – and you didn’t – Governor KrispyKreme’s donning the kneepads for Mr. Ronmeycare is pretty much the Kiss Of Death&#153, electorally speaking.

Perry may not win the nomination, thanks to Malicious Malkin and her rim-jobbing sycophants like Pasa-dipshit Phylicia.&#160 But it’s sure’s Hell&#153 not gonna be Romney now.

S’long, Mittens, thanks for playing, g’bye.

Der Sarahcuda has made her decision.

Wasilla, Alaska

After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for President of the United States. As always, my family comes first and obviously Todd and I put great consideration into family life before making this decision. When we serve, we devote ourselves to God, family and country. My decision maintains this order.

No surprise, really.&#160 Except, perhaps, to her supporters.

Peter Singleton moved to Iowa almost a year ago to campaign for Palin, setting up a chapter of Organize4Palin in the first caucus state. He told ABCNews.com that he “expected her to run.”

“I’m disappointed, but disappointed for the country because he was the best choice for president at this time,” Singleton said. “I believed she would run, but I understood there was a chance that she didn’t. It was always her choice. And I have enormous respect for Gov. Palin as a leader and I respect her decision.”

And then, there are these…

But don’t you understand … this “announcement” is just a diversionary tactic, after Milt and Rick tear each other apart she’s going to jump back in!

Gesh, any fool can see that, why can’t you?

I’ve lost all interest in the election at this point….very sad. MItt will win and it will be the same crap all over again.

The “I’m doing it for my family” crap is what they all say. The fact that she strung us along for these past several months is outrageous. Hell yes – I’m embarrassed! I’ve been defending her for over a year now.

She’s useless now. What a fool I’ve been. What fools you all have been.

You get the idea.

And then there’s this from Malicious Malkin’s resident cunt-licking sycophant, Pasa-weenie Phylicia:

She pretty much told us she wasn’t running last week saying that it would be too “shackley” when she needs to be free to be a maverick.

This confirms my opinion of her of it being mostly about the money for her. There was no way she could reconcile her conservative claims to being so close to Juan McCain to the point of endorsing him and the various RINOs he endorsed over their Tea Party rivals.

I’m just glad it’s finally over. I really don’t care what she thinks anymore.

That’s appropriate, Phylicia, you bloviating buttwipe – because no one&#160 gives a shit what you&#160 think.

(Come to think of it, ol Malicious herself didn’t have a whole lot to say about it her own sexist self.&#160 Given that her other&#160 hand-picked candiodate, Michele Bachmann, is circling the drain, our little Filipina skank is probably pretty heartbroken by now.

Which is always a good thing.)

Me?&#160 I, personally, don’t give a shit.&#160 Once she decided that pot was okay, that did it for me.&#160 She’s nice to look at, but that’s about it.

S’long, Sarah.&#160 Thanks for playing.

Or not.

Geez, win one&#160 half-assed, doesn’t-count-towards-friggin’-squat&#160 straw poll, and suddenly Bozo the Pizza Clown thinks he’s a fucking kingmaker.

Herman Cain would not support Rick Perry’s candidacy should Perry become the Republican Party’s presidential nominee in 2012, Cain told CNN on Wednesday.

Cain, a Georgia businessman who won the Florida Republican straw poll this past weekend, cited Perry’s support, as Texas governor, for giving in-state tuition to illegal immigrants as the primary reason he would withhold his endorsement.

“Today I could not support Rick Perry for a host of reasons. Him being soft on securing the border is one of the reasons. I feel very strongly about the need to secure the border for real, the need to enforce the laws that are already there, the need to promote the path to citizenship that’s already there,” Cain told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. “But more importantly empower the states to enforce the national/federal immigration laws because the federal government didn’t do it, can’t do it, they never will do it. So that’s where I think he and I have a basic fundamental difference of opinion.”

While I positively abhor Big Dickhead Perry’s approach towards illegals, I’m also absolutely convinced that he’s the only one with the stones to take on B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi.&#160 Besides, he’s demonstrated in the past that he’s not married to his political positions when sufficient opposition exists – witness the Gardasil flap and the Trans-Texas Corridor fiasco.&#160 Each time, he stood up for his position, only to relent when sufficient opposition to his idea manifested itself.&#160 He will&#160 listen to his constituentcy, which is more than any of can say for a lot of our politicians.

But if you wanna go down that road, Hermie, then two can play that game.

I say now, and for the record, that I endorse Rick Perry for President of the United States.&#160 And I will not vote for any other GOP nominee in the general election.

That means, Hermie, that should you&#160 somehow luck into the nomination, you can go try to win the White House without my vote.&#160 I won’t vote for you, for Michele “Duh, when did Elvis die again?” Bachmann, for Jon-boy Huntsman, for Chris Christie – and I sure as Hell&#160 won’t vote for Gingrinch, or Mittens, and especially not for your&#160 ugly ass.

(Oh, did I mention I won’t vote for you, Cain?)

Let’s see how you&#160 like it when the people play your sorry-assed game better than you can.

Y’know, Denizens, I had&#160 been wanting to associate myself with the Tea Party.&#160 I mean, what’s not to like?&#160 We both think we’re overtaxed, we both want government to return to conservative, Constitutional principles, we both want a conservative in the White House…right?

Right?

Wellllllll, not so fast there, Sparky.&#160 Looks like the Tea Party – at least, the organized&#160 one – has jumped the shark.

After last Thursday’s debate, in which both Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich outshone both of the purported frontrunners, the question of whether primary Republican voters will choose their nominee according to conventional wisdom as to what makes a candidate electable or according to personal preferences and conservative principles has been (somewhat) reopened.

Well, I don’t know about Cain.&#160 I think that was a case of Big Dickhead Perry shooting himself in the foot, combined with the fact that Mittens isn’t going to get elected dogcatcher in FLA.

But Ms. Korbe, if you think Newt Gingrich can outshine a black hole, I’ve a bridge I wanna sell you.

Anyway, continuing on…

But Cain’s surprise upset in the Florida straw poll this weekend was a forcible reminder that Perry and Romney aren’t technically alone in the race — and that Republicans are willing to reassert preference and principle in symbolic ways, at least. In that vein, Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips recently endorsed eloquent debater Newt Gingrich.

That would be the Gingrinch that sat on the couch with San Fran Nan Pig-lousi.&#160 That would be the Gingrinch that sided with Bambi on Bambicare.&#160 That would be the Gingrinch that called us “right-wing social engineers”.&#160 And he included you&#160 in that, Juddy baby.

And that’s who you want to see as President.

G’night, Tea Party.&#160 Be sure to run over a few cacti in your slide to oblivion, hm?

He was ever in?

So I guess now we know why Timmeh Pawlenty(of shit) didn’t have the stones to confront Mittens on Rombamacare in Massachusetts, huh?

Tim Pawlenty admitted tonight that he had erred by retreating from attacking Mitt Romney on “Obamneycare” during the debate Monday night.

“I should have been much more clear,” Pawlenty told Sean Hannity. “I don’t think we can have a nominee that was involved in the development and construction of Obamacare and continues to defend it.”

Yeah, well – it turns out T-Paw was harboring a secret man-crush on ol’ Mittens.

One month ago Tim Pawlenty was on a stage in Iowa debating against Mitt Romney, but today the former Minnesota governor – no longer in the presidential race – became a national co-chair for Romney’s campaign.

“Mitt Romney is fighting for the same things I fought for as governor and during my campaign for president,” Pawlenty said today. ” As a former blue state governor, I appreciate what Mitt was able to do in Massachusetts. He created jobs and balanced his budgets without raising taxes – even with an over eighty percent Democrat legislature. That ability to get things done is what we need in our nominee.”

Modified Stockholm Syndrome, anyone?

Well, that’ll&#160 put Mittens over the top, ayup.&#160 What was Buttmunch polling when he dropped out – something like two, three percent?&#160 That puts Rombo within sight of…Perry’s exhaust!&#160 He’ll overtake ‘im Any Day Now&#153, I tells ya!