This week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™ begins with the ending of a story from a couple months ago, and involves the Dallas C’girlz.
An old NFL tradition dictates that, in training camp, as part of Rookie Initiation™, the yewts (a little Rush lingo, there) have to get to carry the pads of the veterans back to the locker room after practice.
As you’ll recall, at the outset of C’girlz traning camp, rookie sensation Dez Bryant…well, let’s say he wasn’t having any of that.
Receiver Dez Bryant has done everything right on the field during the first two days of Dallas Cowboys training camp, but he refuses to participate in an NFL rite of passage.
According to the rookie first-round pick, Roy Williams and the other veteran receivers can carry their own shoulder pads after practice.
Dez Bryant wouldn’t take part in innocent rookie hazing at the hands of Roy Williams. ESPN.com’s Matt Mosley is amused, but how will Bryant’s Cowboys teammates react? Blog
Williams gave his pads to Bryant after Sunday’s morning practice, but Bryant declined to carry them. Williams threatened to go to “step two” when talking to reporters.
“I’m not doing it,” Bryant said. “I feel like I was drafted to play football, not carry another player’s pads.”
For which he was, shall we say, roundly criticized.  Bad rookie. No Donut!
Well, that wasn’t the end of it, and we all knew it.  The other shoe pad dropped a couple of days ago, as Bryant and the other C’girl rookies engaged in another time-honored NFL tradition – buying dinner for the veterans.
To the tune of some 55 large.
“It was his responsibility, and he knew it,” David Wells, a confidante to Bryant told the Dallas Morning News’ Gerry Fraley. “He knew he was going to have to buy dinner one way or the other. He was either going to have to buy dinner or wash a lot of dishes.”
“Instant karms’s gonna get you…Gonna knock you off your feet…!”
On with the football.  My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets will have the Eastern Hills Highlanders this evening at 7:30.  EHHS has won precisely one game this year – against North Side.  (UPDATE:  Oops – looks like they beat South Hills, too.)  Heights should have no trouble here.
Saturday, Gary Patterson and his fifth-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs will travel to Fort Collins, Colorado for the game against the Colorado State Rams.
Used to be, I fretted long & hard about this game, because CState was so big and (supposedly) talented that I didn’t think the Tadpoles could handle it.
Now?.  Vegas has the Frogs as 33½-point road warriors.  And TCU may actually cover that, too.  They’ll have to, if they’re to impress teh Ass-phyxiated Pisswads (fifth, you dipshits?).
But that’ll only be the second-most closely followed game around these parts that day.  For at the Cotton Bowl, it’s the Pussified Red River Rivalry, coined by douchewads Red River Shootout, as Bob Stoopes brings his eighth-ranked Oklahoma Sooners in against Widdle Mackie Brown, the 21st-ranked TU Shortd…uh, Stubbies…
T-BONE MCMANX:  Your newest reader is  an OU fan, y’know.
VENOMOUS:  You’ve been reading my email again?
T-BONE MCMANX:  Well, I am  your communications officer.
MERLIN:  He’s got you there, m’liege.
VENOMOUS:  Well, okay.  But if she writes and complains, it’s your heads.
CREW:  (eep!)
…the 21st-ranked TU Shortdicks  and the Biggest Payroll In College Football™
KORRIOTH:  You’re never gonna give that up, are you?
VENOMOUS:  I will soon as you show me what Widdle Mackie ever won at North Carolina.
KORRIOTH:  (grunt)
Vegas has OU by the slimmest of margins, by four.  Last one to have the ball may well win this.
In other games Saturday, Turner Gill’s UKansas Rock Chalks will see their one-game win streak end in Waco at Baylor, who’s a 9½-point favorite.  And unlike TCU, Turner doesn’t have a defense to stop Robert Griffin III.
And 11th-ranked Bucky doesn’t have it very easy, either, as they travel to East Lansing, Michigan to take on the 24th-ranked Michigan State Spartans.  (No, Magic Johnson will not be playing – he’s too old, and besides – this is football, not hoops.)
Unbelievably, Bucky is a 1½-point favorite going in.  I dunno – I think State’s better than that.  Then again, I did  see ’em against Notre Dame, so…
As for Our Heroes™, the Dallas Cowgirlz…I guarantee you they won’t lose this week.
MERLIN:  Let us guess:  They’re not playing.
VENOMOUS:  Can’t help it, Wizard.  That joke never gets old.  Particularly when you’re talking the C’girlz.
MERLIN:  As you wish, m’lord.
Sixth-ranked Nebraska is also off this week.  And will probably jump TCU in the polls just for that.  Snarl.
We’re back either Sunday or Monday for the recap.  In the meantime…hope you’re alright out there on the road, HDD.  Stay safe, my friend.