Denizens we’re gonna get the Perfect Football Weekend™ machine started up with a Pro Football Hall of Fame™ induction that makes the bastards at Nobel look positively legit.
The excuse-for-an-inductee:  Widdle Mikey Gaptooth
Strahan’s pro career got off at a turtle’s pace, as well. A foot injury limited his rookie campaign of 1993 to just nine games. Despite starting 15 games in ’94, Strahan posted a mere 4.5 sacks. The next year, New York’s defense was supposed to be a top-notch unit … until Dallas stormed Giants Stadium on the season’s first Monday night and rocked Big Blue 35-0 in front of a national television audience. Throughout that season and the next, though, Strahan began to hold his own, but still only produced a grand total of 12.5 sacks — not even close to Hall of Fame production for an edge player. Strahan showed potential in these early years, but he was still learning the game and definitely took his share of lumps.
Then in 1997, a light bulb seemed to come on under new defensive coordinator John Fox. Strahan got to the quarterback 14 times and earned first-team All-Pro honors. Meanwhile, Big Blue rode its defense to a playoff berth. The guy who barely knew the sport had developed into a dominant force. Over the next 10 years, Strahan racked up 109.5 sacks, including an NFL-record 22.5 in 2001 — a feat which earned him that season’s Defensive Player of the Year award. And of course, he rounded out his career by winning a ring in his final game.
That “NFL record” sack he got?  Brett “Hey, Jen, lookit my wang!” Favre laying down for the bastard.
Here…have a look:
Boy howdy, he sure’s hell “earned” that one, didn’t he?
Add to that the fact that shitty officiating gave the NY Football Douchebags both  of their recent Super Bowl wins – yeah, I said both  of ’em, you East Coast fuckheads – and there’s absolutely no fucking doubt that this is the least deserving HOF inductee ever.  (Well, at least until Donna McCrabby & his soup-hawkin’ mommykins get their ugly asses in.)
Let’s get to the football.  Right now, we have the annual Harbaugh Bowl™, with Baltimore’s John taking on San Transexual’s Jim in preseason f’ball (Balt’s up 10-3, and just intercepted the Whiners’ eighth-string QB at their 25).  On the toob this weekend will be games like Saints-Rams & Browns-Lions.  Yawners, except we should get to see the NFL debut of Johnny Football, so there’s that.
Tonight, it’ll be the C’girlz vs. the SanDiego…SuperCharrrrrgerssssss!!!! (a little Chris Berman lingo, there).  Romo’s not playing, so the ‘Girlz might actually win.
Oh, but Phillip Rivers will probably play a series & throw a touchdown. Never mind.
We’re back Monday or so with something resembling a recap.