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As we launch another successful year of Perfect Football Weekends&#153, I have to confess something:

I think I missed the NFL’s Hall of Fame Game.&#160 I looked all over Civilization As I Know It&#153 (read:&#160 all the sports channels on Time Warner Cable&#160 &#160 ), and I could find neither hide nor hair thereof.

(And now I see why:&#160 The damn game was televised on the NFL Network.&#160 That fucking does it – I’m switching to Verizon FIOS.)

Anyway, the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the New Orleans Black & Gold Pieces of Shit Saints, 20-7.&#160 Good.&#160 Sean Payton can go oh-and-fuckin’-20 this year and it won’t be enough to suit me.

Awright, so let’s get down to business.&#160 As you know, in preseason I follow whatever football I can get my greedy eyes on, and if the Cowboys happen to be involved, so much the better.&#160 Which, as it happens, they are – they host the Defending Super Bowl Champion (Finally!!!)&#153 Indian-hapless Colts tonight at 7:00.&#160 (At the end of a blazing hot Texas summer day, but what the Hell, eh?&#160 Though actually, I think they’d rather play in Hell – it’d be cooler.)&#160 Romo will play a quarter – and likely, so will Manning.&#160 Whereupon he’ll probably go and shoot another commercial.&#160

Friday night, CBS will have Beefalo at the aforementioned B&GPOS.

Saturday, the NFL Network (Damn you, Time Warner Cable!!!) will have the Washington Foreskins at the Tennessee Vince Youngs Titans.&#160 (We will now pause as LC John Wardle takes us to task for calling them the Foreskins. (grin))

Michaels & Madden will be in San Diego on Sunday as the Seattle Seahags take on LT & the Chargers.&#160 Rumors that Chris Young would strike out both Michaels & Madden in the 2nd quarter were unsubstantiated at press time.&#160

Monday, a cast of what seems like thousands will be in San Transexual as the FairyWhiners host the Denver Running Backs Committee Broncos.&#160 By then, La Reina Esp&#225tula&#153 will have a permanent dent in her iron skillet from the back of my head.&#160

We’re back on Monday to offer a half-hearted recap and thanks to the Football Gawds&#153 that we no longer have to pay attention to the Texass stRangers.&#160


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4 responses to “PFW:&#160 So it’s preseason – it’s f’ball, dammit!!!”

  1. the Humble Devildog says:

    Lemme know when football starts.

    You know, the sport where games actually matter!

    IF there’s nothing else on, and IF I’m really bored, and IF I’m close to a TV (I don’t own a TV…and I like it that way), I might suffer through a preseason game. Might.

    My word, at least baseball games count for something! Since when did Americans give a crap about meaningless games?!

    If you said “I meant European football”, I’d almost cut you some slack. The games at least mean something, even if the sport is meaningless.

    Preseason football. Blech. I’ll listen to my Milwaukee Brewers piss away yet another decent season before I’ll pay any attention to preseason football.

  2. My word, at least baseball games count for something! Since when did Americans give a crap about meaningless games?!

    Since it’s football, and since this American hates the crap outta baseball, and since the stRangers are playing like crap again

    Well, you did ask.&#160 (grin)

  3. Football?

    Spats, have I ever told you that football is a complete waste of time? 🙂

    Much better to spend one’s time performing, or listening to sacred classical music! 🙂

  4. ORWN says:

    Spats I agree wif U man,football is football dont care if its preseason, touch, flag football.
    dont matter my Indians are pissing away their chances at playing in october so bring on the Browns, at least they wont get my hopes up by playing good for a half a season. I know they suck!!!!!

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