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[Scene:&#160 the engineering section of Pegasus, where main power is still offline, thanks to Ozymandias McCool‘s refusal to heed Merlin‘s warning about not trying to optimize the computer core while the computer was still in operation.&#160 Captain Korrioth has joined Merlin at the computer station which exploded in Ozy’s face, and is attempting to assist Merlin in bringing the panel back online.&#160 Off to the side, a medic tends to Ozy, who has stirred and is now beginning to come around, though it appears he’s suffered a concussion.

As we look in, the computer panel is not cooperating with either Korrioth or Merlin.]

MERLIN:&#160 Check the T37 junction circuit.

KORRIOTH (tricorder in hand):&#160 Confirmed…no, wait.&#160 Looks like a microfracture in the optical filament.&#160 See if you can bypass.

MERLIN:&#160 (toggles three switches, then hits a button) Okay, try that.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Better.&#160 I think we may be ready to re-engage systems.&#160 Give it a shot.

[Merlin rises and goes over to the dilithium chamber, flips a couple of switches, then hits the big switch on the breaker box.&#160 The ship lurches for about half a second, but otherwise remains dark.]

MERLIN:&#160 Damn!&#160 Dammit!!!

KORRIOTH:&#160 (several Klingon curses which can’t really be repeated in mixed company)

MERLIN:&#160 That was supposed to at least restore main power!&#160 What the fuck is wrong with this ship?

[The slightly-ajar Engineering doors part even further, and in walks His Rudeness, who doesn’t look terribly happy.

LSIK&T:&#160 Report!

KORRIOTH:&#160 Main power still down, Admrial.&#160 We believe we’ve successfully bypassed the blown junctions in the computer, but the ship still refuses to respond.

LSIK&T:&#160 Awright, which panel was it that blew up on you, Merlin?

MERLIN:&#160 (gulp) Right this way, m’Lord.

[Merlin guides Spats over to the spot where Ozy had been sitting.&#160 The admiral begins to examine the panel.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Hmmmmm.&#160 Burned out T37 junction…scorch marks around the M5 toggle…what are these three switches doing toggled on…?

[A look of realization has crossed Lord Spatula’s visage – he’s seen this before.&#160 He straightens, glances over at a still-groggy Ozy, then turns and faces Merlin with a very&#160 angry, accusatory glare.]

LSIK&T:&#160 I thought I gave you a direct order never to optimize this motherfucker while the ship was in motion?!

MERLIN (cringing visibly):&#160 Your Eminence, I tried&#160 to warn him, I…

[His Rudeness waves his hand towards Merlin.&#160 Merlin goes flying backwards, his head hitting the same bulkhead that KO’d Ozy, and falls to the deck, motionless.

LSIK&T (growling):&#160 I don’t want to hear it.&#160 Mr. Korrioth, how far have repairs proceeded?

KORRIOTH:&#160 As Mr. Merlin told you, sir, we’ve bypassed all the circuits we believe were damaged, but the ship does not respond.&#160 We were beginning another diagnostic when you walked in.

LSIK&T:&#160 (smirking) Do you begin all your diagnostics with colorful Klingon invective, Kor?

KORRIOTH:&#160 (grin)

[Spats turns back to the blown panel, flips three switches, hits a button to the side, waits three seconds, then slams his fist into the bulkhead above the blown panel.&#160 Immediately the lights come back up and the ship’s engines resume their normal hum.&#160 Korrioth stares at His Rudeness in disbelief.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Do a Level 2 diagnostic on the propulsion and tactical systesm and advise me as soon as you’re done so we can get back underway.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Aye, sir.

LSIK&T:&#160 And have Kevorkian over there haul McCool’s & Merlin’s shit-for-brains carcasses to sickbay.&#160 And then once McCool’s back on his feet, he’s to spend 30 minutes in the Agony Booth&#153 having it drilled into his head that you don’t fuck with the computer core while the ship’s in flight.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Admiral, we don’t have&#160 an Agony Booth&#153.

LSIK&T:&#160 Then build&#160 one, you bumpy-headed dumbass!&#160 I’m sick & tired of my ship getting disabled because my engineers have all the sense of the fuckwits I have Rayegun rule over out in the Outer Rim&#153, you hear?&#160 Where the fuck did McCool come&#160 from, anyway???

KORRIOTH:&#160 Uh…he was a conscript from the Outer Rim&#153, sir.

LSIK&T:&#160 See?&#160 My point.&#160 Now get your ass in gear, bumpy!~

[Korrioth winces, then turns and leaves Engineering to do His Rudeness’ bidding.]

Okay, Denizens, the Big Box&#153 is back up and running, so it’s back to downloading naked jpegs pirating ’80s rock anthems reading the news and commenting thereupon.

Thatisall&#153.&#160 Carry on.&#160

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5 responses to “More blog-housekeepingery”

1. David Hartung says:

   February 24, 2008 at 10:48 pm

   As the General said, you should have contracted this one out to Vulcan. 🙂

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2. Supreme General Rayegun says:

   February 25, 2008 at 11:34 am

   Serves ya right Spats.

   At least I had the intelligence and foresight NOT to conscript or appoint any officer-types from this neck of the galaxy!!!!

   Mayhaps your recruitment section needs to spend some time in that Agony Booth as well.

   I do know where you can get RELIABLE crew members from, but that intelligence will cost you SEVERAL pretty credits. Sorry, I stopped banking on word of mouth back right after Ronaldus Magnamus departed from office, so I’ll have to pull a “Mudd” on ya Spats.

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3. Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant says:

   February 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm

   Sorry, I stopped banking on word of mouth back right after Ronaldus Magnamus departed from office, so I’ll have to pull a “Mudd” on ya Spats.

   You’re going to send me three babes hopped up on the Venus Drug&#153?

   Please?&#160 (r,d&g)

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4. Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant says:

   February 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm

   Sorry, I stopped banking on word of mouth back right after Ronaldus Magnamus departed from office, so I’ll have to pull a “Mudd” on ya Spats.

   You’re going to send me three babes hopped up on the Venus Drug&#153?

   Please?&#160 (r,d&g)

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5. Supreme General Rayegun says:

   February 26, 2008 at 11:23 am

   You’re going to send me three babes hopped up on the Venus Drug™?

   Please? (r,d&g)

   Careful what you wish for, cause they probably are more intelligent than Ozy & Kori (and probably could do a better Stan & Olly then those two could dream of)……

   R,D&G ain’t gonna get past one of my unmarked, black helicopters. Try again.

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