Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

[SCENE:&#160 In His Rudeness’ quarters.&#160 Pegasus&#160 is en route to the Shelliak homeworld, having destroyed its flagship without firing a shot.&#160 Captain Korrioth, on orders from Lord Spatula, has dutifully transmitted footage of the “battle” to the Shelliak, along with a pointed message that they were not&#160 happy campers.

Spats, having downed the aforementioned keg of peach-tea-flavored Theragen derivative, is now attempting to rest before the next encounter.&#160 A chime, the location of which Our Hero&#153 cannot place, is insisting on his attention.

Spats sits up in bed, palms trying unsuccessfully to push back the throbbing migraine-like pain shooting out of his eye sockets.]

LSIK&T:&#160 I don’t suppose you have any Generic Acetominiphen-Based Pain Reliever Food Substitute&#153 over there, do you, Allan-a-Dale?

[I hate it when he calls me that.]

LSIK&T:&#160 I know.&#160 That’s why I do it.&#160

[Sorry, m’lord, no.&#160 McCool took the last six I had – something about too much Romulan ale again.]

LSIK&T:&#160 That does it; I’m getting me a sober Chief Engineer.&#160 [The chime sounds again.]&#160 WHAT?!?!?!?!?

[A holographic figure rises from the floor.&#160 As Spats was earlier, this figure is also wearing a hooded cloak.]

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 You have done well, my you…my middle-aged padawan.

[Spats squints at the figure with one half-open eye.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Aren’t you dead?

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 What I am or am not is not important.&#160 What is&#160 important—

LSIK&T:&#160 And I’m not your padawan, either!&#160 You never gave me&#160 any formal Sith training, Palpy, remember?&#160 I learned at the hand of Darth Mortis, if you’ll recall.

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 You will properly address me as ‘Master’, my apprentice.

LSIK&T:&#160 You’re lucky I’m only calling you Palpy, and I said&#160 I’m not your padawan!

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 But you have&#160 used your Sith talents again.&#160 I felt the disturbance in the Force.&#160 It is why I am here – to start you back on your training.

LSIK&T:&#160 Well, to paraphrase a little green mutual acquaintance of ours, I need no further training.&#160 Already know all I’m going to need.

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 You know nothing of the Dark Side of the Force, padawan.&#160 You still require much training to become truly powerful.

LSIK&T:&#160 I already am&#160 truly powerful.&#160 I’m alive, have my powers and&#160 rule my own little part of the galaxy.

[Spats raises an eyebrow at the hooded hologram]

LSIK&T:&#160 Which is more than I can say for you&#160 as of late.

[A look of extreme rage crosses the hooded one’s face and he raises his arms and reaches out towards His Rudeness.]

LSIK&T (quickly):&#160 But if it’ll make you happy – and&#160 get you out of my hair – I suppose I can go by my Sith name a little more often.&#160 Satisfied?

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 It is your name as chosen by the Sith Brotherhood.&#160 You are required to identify yourself by that name.

LSIK&T:&#160 You forget, Palpy – I’m a free man.&#160 The Sith long ago demonstrated they did not need me – nor I them, for that matter.

[At that moment, the migraine decides to remind Our Hero&#153 just why he’s in his quarters in the first place.&#160 Spats winces noticeably.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Nor do I need you&#160 RightAboutNow&#153.&#160 Off with you, before I scramble yer molecules.

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 This is not yet over, my padawan.&#160 You will address me as “Master” eventually.&#160 I have foreseen it.

LSIK&T:&#160 Yeah, yeah, just like you foresaw Endor.&#160 Now git!!!

[The image fades from view.&#160 It is replaced by the ship’s intercom.]

KORRIOTH (over speaker):&#160 Bridge to the Admiral.&#160 We are within visual range of the Shelliak homeworld.&#160 They have sent another “welcoming committee”; you may wish to see this.

LSIK&T (under breath):&#160 Aw, shit.&#160 (towards speaker) Very well, Captain.&#160 I’m on my way.

(To be continued…)

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