Yes, Denizens - I know it's Cafe Press. Yes, I know that they're a liberal-owned company. Yes, I'm aware that the quality of their garments may not be quite as good as ThoseShirts.com.
But unlike ThoseShirts.com, Cafe Press ACTUALLY ANSWERS THE EMAIL I SEND THEM!!!!
Got clue, ThoseShirts???
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A train set! Cool!
Thanks, Dad!
Thank you, Algore.
(snicker)
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I’m gonna keep asking this until I get a fucking answer:  WHY IS BRUCE READ STILL HERE?!?!?!
Arlington Heights 49, North Side 7
Texas Christian 13, at Colorado State 7
at UBuffalo 28, W. Michigan 34 (OT) (Buffalo covers)
Nebraska 24, at Texas Tech 31 (OT)
Oklahoma 35, T-sip Shortdicks 45
Dallas 24, at Arizona 30 (OT)
For North Side’s 100th year of football, they did their helmets up like TU’s Shortdicks did for DKRoyal in their  100th year.
Unfortunately, these  Steers don’t play like those  Steers.
[QB Mark] Grace was nearly perfect in the air, completing 8 of 9 passes for 196 yards, including touchdowns of 34, 80 and 21 yards.
Grace also scored Heights’ first touchdown with a 1-yard run in the first quarter.
Anthony Davenport led Heights with 132 yards on the ground, including touchdowns of 24 and 13 yards.
…
Colorado State shoved the ball down TCU’s throat on their first drive.
After its only airplane trip in a two-month span, the Horned Frogs looked like they had jet lag on CSU’s opening drive, a nine-play, 78-yard march that included 45 yards on the ground, highlighted by Gartrell Johnson’s 4-yard rumble into the end zone.
Save for a couple drives in the second half led by the Rams’ backup quarterback, the Frog defense spent the rest of the game shoving the ball right back down CSU’s throat.
But the Rams managed just 15 yards rushing on their four subsequent first-half drives and the Horned Frogs took a 13-7 lead into the locker room after CSU’s Kory Sperry and Rashaun Greer dropped long touchdown passes from quarterback Billy Farris.
The Rams went to backup quarterback Klay Kubiak in the third quarter but they couldn’t get close to the end zone in a seven second-half possessions.
Marcus Jackson started for Andy Dalton (knee) again, and spent the entire game showing why he’s the backup quarterback.  He was was 16-26-166 and ran for 54 yards, but also dropped four snaps from center Blake Schueter.
Hurry back, Andy.
…
UBuffalo needs to be doing it with offense.  Their defense sucks.
Western Michigan (6-1, 4-0 Mid-American Conference) scored 22 points in the fourth quarter and sent the game into overtime when Hiller found Jamarko Simmons in the end zone with 5 seconds left to play. Hiller completed 42-of-63 passes and threw 345 yards and four touchdowns.
…
You gotta look on the bright side when it comes to Nebraska.  After the debacle against Mizzou last week, they held the vaunted TTech offense to 24 points in regulation in their backyard.  Bo Pelini is beginning to rebuild the Blackshirts™.
That said – Bo, Joey Ganz is not your future at quarterback.  If you have a freshman or sophomore in your collection, he needs to play now.  You’re not going anywhere this year, but then you’re not expected to.  Get the Huskers accustomed to your way of doing things and let them grow with a young QB.
And they will  grow.  This scribe has faith in you.
…
Memo to Bob Stoopes:  Just as I told Gary Patterson that his team needs to get bigger up front – your defense needs to get faster.  Speed is killing you, and speed is going to continue to kill you until you get that addressed.
Here’s a hint:  Ask yourself how your brother would have done it.  Since he left for Arizona, your program, though still a superior one, has taken a step back.  You cannot say with confidence that yours is one of the elite programs in the country, not now.  But you can fix it, and I have faith in you, as well.
That $aid, the better collection of player$ won thi$ game today, and that’$ all I’m going to $ay about that.
…
The first play of the game was a special-teams clusterfuck that led directly to an Arizona score.  The last  play of the game was a special-teams clusterfuck that led directly to an Arizona score.  Not to mention, that last clusterfuck may have cost the C’boys their punter (McBriar suffered a foot contusion when he was hit by a rush up the middle).
Why is Bruce Read still here?
In between those two plays, Tony Romo spent the game doing his very best impression of Drew Bledsoe.  Once again, he didn’t run out of trouble when his protection broke down, and once again he lost a fumble when he got sacked.  He ended his streak of games with an interception, but only because Arizona dropped a couple of sure pick-sixes.  He’s now basically playing like the backup quarterback he was his first few years in the league.  He’s essentially turned himself into Drew Bledsoe reincarnated – how’d that  work out for us, hm?
But what turned this game around was a play in the third quarter.  On 3rd & 17, with the Cards deep in their own territory, Kurt Warner throws a screen pass to rookie running back Timmy-boy Hightower, and the Cowgirls play matador defense until Hightower covers the 17 yards for the first down.
Third.  And.  Fucking.  Seven.  Teen.
From that point forward, the ‘Girls could flat-out not stop Arizona no matter what they tried; it was pitch-and-catch between Warner and his receivers the rest of the day.  (And if you can’t stop a 3rd-and-17, maybe you don’t  deserve to win.
The Cowboys have played piss-poor football now for the last three weeks.  And it’s not even December yet, when you expect  this motley crew to tank.
That’s coaching.  That’s Camp-fuckin’-Cupcake for you.  In fact, that’s Coach-fuckin’-Cupcake and his la-de-da approach to coaching a game.  No fire in the belly on the sideline – no fire in the belly of this team.
And if this POS play continues, we won’t be talking about whether the Pilsbury Doughboy can finally get his first win, ’cause they won’t even make  the damned playoffs.  And Jerry will show Bum Jr. the door.
What a dilemma.  Make the playoffs, or tank & get the Doughboy fired?  Decisions, decisions.
This week:  3-3.  This week:  29-9.
The PFW will return Thursday, when I declare a Guaranteed Loss  Night™.
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2 responses to “PFW:  Starring Tony Romo as Drew Bledsoe”
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Well, you don’t have to worry about how Tony Romo will look next week. Or the next FOUR weeks, at that.
He’s out for, at least, the next month with a broken finger.
And how many times have I told you that the ‘Girls have played exactly four quarters of defense all year?
Wade Phillips was a dead man walking at the beginning of LAST season, when the Arkansas Carpetbagger signed Jason Garrett as
Offensive CoordinatorCo-Head Coach, for more money than Coach Phillips was getting paid. Tell me, exactly WHY should Coach Phillips care how this team performs, when his replacement was hired LAST year, and is looking over his shoulder THIS year? The only way Coach Phillips can keep his job after this year is if the Cowgirls win the Super Bowl. Anything less than that, and he’s out the door.In completely unrelated news, but, related to my last screed, is everyone here aware that Coach Paterno’s contract ends on January 9th of 2009, and that Penn State doesn’t seem fired up about giving him a new contract after that date? Joe Paterno not getting a new contract after this year would rank as a worse travesty than Coach Landry being fired and Coach Shula being fired. If JoePa is not offered a new contract for next year, the Nittany Lions of Penn State will become, instantly and irrevocably, my least favorite college team. I would even cheer for the Children of the Corn (The “N” stands for “Knowledge”!) against Penn State.
I am going to pretend that Saturday’s game never happened.
As well you should.  That was brutal.  Ugh.
Guess I’d better go find someone to replace Romo on my roster, hm?