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There are heads that need to roll at Valley Ranch.&#160 And some of them wear helmets.

Arlington Heights 28, Eastern Hills 13

#13 Texas Christian 44, at UNLV 14

UBuffalo 32, at Ohio 19

at #4 Oklahoma 62, Nebraska 28

Dallas 14, at NY Football Douchebag Pussies 35

From the writeup at DFWVarsity.com over at the FW Startle-gram:

Fort Worth Arlington Heights claimed the District 7-4A East title with a 28-13 victory against Fort Worth Eastern Hills on Friday night at Scarborough-Handley Field. They’ll now face Dunbar (8-1, 4-0) for the District 7-4A title next week…Against Eastern Hills, Arlington Heights enjoyed an efficient offensive evening behind the arm of quarterback Mark Grace and a solid running game that gained 196 yards.Grace threw for all four touchdowns on 167 passing yards.

…

James Starks ran wild over the Ohio defense, gaining 185 yards on 30 carries.&#160 52 of those came on one run in the fourth quarter to salt the game away.&#160 Drew Willy was 14-23-116 with one touchdown.&#160 Brandon Thermilus added 73 yards on the ground for the Bulls.

…

As if the 35 points first-quarter points weren’t enough…

You just knew it wasn’t going to be a good day for the Nebraska Cornhuskers when, after a rare stop of OU’s offense, the Sooner punter had the snap slip through his hands.&#160 And then not only does he barely have enough time to pick the ball back up and get the punt off beyond the outstreched Huskers’ fingers – the punt itself goes for 50 yards.

Joey Ganz’ first three passes resulted in turnovers – the first one…well, let’s let ESPN tell the story:

From the moment Nebraska lined up, Oklahoma cornerback Dominique Franks knew exactly what was coming.

By the time he and his Sooners teammates were done with their dominating start, the Cornhuskers didn’t know what hit them.

[…]

Franks intercepted Joe Ganz’s first pass attempt and returned it 18 yards for a touchdown, and the Huskers (5-4, 2-3 Big 12) also had turnovers on each of their next two passes as the Sooners (8-1, 4-1) raced to a 28-0 lead in the first 5½ minutes.

Roy Helu Jr. had 157 yards and a touchdown for the Huskers, but by then it was over.

Bradford was 19-27-311 with five touchdowns.&#160 DeMarco Murray was 14 carries for 57 yards and two scores.

…

The tempation was great to look past the Rebels and focus on the Utes.

Andy Dalton was up to the task, however.&#160 He went 16-29-151 and had three touchdowns.&#160 The Frog ground game steamrolled the Rebs for 259 yards, led by Aaron Brown’s 60.

The Frog defense once again gave up a long run that might as well have gone for a score, but otherwise managed to bottle up UNLV’s offense most of the rest of the night.

Ross Evans didn’t have his greatest game – he missed another&#160 extra point – but the strong winds might have had something to do with that, so he gets a pass.

…

This.&#160 Team.&#160 Flat.&#160 Out.&#160 QUIT.&#160 Today.

The line quit blocking.&#160 The quarterbacking was atrocious.&#160 The running game had two good runs all day, and they were on back-to-back sweeps, and that was it.&#160 The defense tried early, but even they gave up late.

Case in point:&#160 On the Douchebags’ last touchdown, Mike Jenkins, simply pulled up and let Derrick “Off The Waiver Wire” Ward just run by him on the way to a 17-yard romp.&#160 This team flat-out quit.

And that’s a reflection of it’s head coach, who has lost any fire he ever had in his belly – and my guess is that he didn’t have all that much to begin with.

Brad “Bad” Johnson started, and was predictably teed off on.&#160 After his second interception (and remember, this was supposed to be the cagey old quarterback who was precise with his passes), Brooks Bollinger took over – and while he was just as horrible, he did at least guide the C’boys to a touchdown.

But this outfit still plays “excuse-me” football.&#160 Very few times did Douchebag pussy RB Bwandi Jackoff get his ass popped – Zach Thomas and Bradie James each got in a lick, but the skirt-wearing bitch pretty much did what he wanted to all day.&#160 The secondary played a little more press coverage, but Widdle Ewi the Misconception pretty much got to play pitch & catch with his receivers all day long.

This team needs an overhaul.&#160 If Jerry Jones is serious about doing anything this year, certain coaches – and certain players – need to go.

Now.&#160 Before the Cowboys find themselves on the playoff outside, looking in.

This week:&#160 4-2.&#160 Overall:&#160 43-12.

The PFW returns Thursday, when we play for all the marbles, and we guarantee that the Cowgirls won’t lose.

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One response to “PFW:&#160 Team Cupcake mails it in”

1. RobertHuntingdon says:

   November 3, 2008 at 10:35 am

   That’s only because they have a BYE week, dude! I can guarantee that the Bungles won’t lose next week either! 🙂 Of course, they did manage to eke out a win (barely) by at least showing up and mostly looking like men overall. But they tried hard for about five to ten minutes at the end to give it away before realizing that was a dumb idea and finally stepping up on the 2pt conversion attempt. After giving all of those watching heart-attacks thinking “here we go again”…

   I would like to hope for some major butt whooping on Atlanta next week. Atlanta isn’t all that good, but they aren’t as bad as they were or as I wish they were. And my Aint’s need very badly to go away and let the Saints return. Hopefully the BYE week will have helped because they are in a world of hurt in their division… they need to go on like a four game winning streak to have any hope of the playoffs. Of course there’s plenty of room for blame to go around. Payton probably deserves a little bit by not pulling in a sub for Grammatica sooner. The refs definitely deserve some for some outright bonehead calls that cost them games. And injuries didn’t help, although they didn’t slow down Brees at all but they have really hurt the defense, which wasn’t all that great to begin with, unfortunately. But if they can get past atwaaahnta and avoid overlooking KC that will at least be a big step in the right direction. All four of the next four are definitely winnable (for that matter, all of the next eight are too), but given how so little seems to break their way this year I have my doubts that they will pull it off. And I really wish I didn’t.

   RH

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