Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:25
Usually, Denizens, I open up my weekly PFW preview post with a football-related story.
I’m going to break from that tradition today with a comment on this travesty of justice that a fucktard named Patrick Fitzgerald has foisted upon the American people.
(Probably a good thing, since I was about to get wound up on how butt-ugly the Virginia Teck Hokies’ uniforms have become.)
Fitzgerald, you son-of-a-bitch, you were charged with investigating something that wasn’t even a crime in the first place – “outing” a covert, internationally-based CIA agent. Except she wasn’t covert, she wasn’t international, and she was an analyst, not an agent.
You couldn’t prove anything, just like we figured you couldn’t, so you went on a fishing expedition to please your masters at Moron.org – didn’t you???
Asked about what a reporter described as “Republican talking points” minimizing the significance of today’s charges, the prosecutor said lying under oath “is a very, very serious matter” and a “serious breach of the public trust.”
Uh-huh. So of course you can explain why Bill Clinton has never spent day one in a federal prison.
Go ahead. We’ve got allllllllll day.
He said, “We didn’t get the straight story, and we had to take action.”
A word of advice, Fitzfuckface: Should you ever get accused of something, I hope your memory is as good as you give Libby’s credit for being. It’d warm the cockles of my heart to see your ass frog-marched into the back of a squad car because you couldn’t remember what you did or said 18 months ago.
Earlier, Fitzgerald said in a statement, “When citizens testify before grand juries, they are required to tell the truth. Without the truth, our criminal justice system cannot serve our nation or its citizens. The requirement to tell the truth applies equally to all citizens, including persons who hold high positions in government.”
I’ll ascribe more credibility to you once I see Der Kaiser & the Duchess Hilarious holding down cells in Leavenworth or San Quentin.
Awright, on to the PFW. My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have yet another crappy Saturday afternoon game, this time vs. the Trimble Tech Bulldogs. Tech is 1-7, and hasn’t really looked that good all season long, so I’ll take Heights and give you four. (Can you tell I’m losing faith in Heights to play much above its competition lately?)
The 20th-ranked Horned Frogs of TCU travel to Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego to take on the San Diego State Aztecs. Reports that a number 5 jersey would be on hand in case LaDainian Tomlinson was hanging around and suddenly forgot whom he was playing for now were unsubstantiated at press time.
Bob Stoops and the Oklahoma Sooners will travel to Lincoln, Nebraska Saturday to take on the Cornhuskers.
Last time they played this game, Nebraska was a PFW team and Oklahoma was the hated & feared. Amazing how one man (Bo Pelini) can change things around.
Unfortunately, Stoops’ defense isn’t quite enough this year to stop the West Coast Offense, even one run as incompetently as Bill Callahan’s Huskers run it. I want OU and 12 in this one.
Speaking of Pelini, the seventh-ranked LSU Tigers finally get to play what was supposed to be their season opener against the University of North Texas Eagles, aka the “Mean Green”.
Can you say “sacrificial lamb”? (snicker) Give me LSU and you can have as many points as you want. This squash will be big enough for a couple batches of my Kitchen Sink Stew.
Sunday at noon, Arizona’s Cardinals come to Irving to take on Dallas’ Cowgirls. Every pundit I’ve heard on this game this week has the Cowboys not just winning, but winning big.
Therefore, we’re going straight up and I’m picking the Cards in an upset. (Note that, if the ‘Boys do still win, it still counts towards my Perfect Football Weekend. I can still follow a team, pull for them to win, but pick them to lose if I think they’re going to. Pleasant surprises are a wonderful thing, y’know?)
We’re back Monday for the recap. Let’s start the tailgating party – lemme hear about your teams now (and no, Doctor Peckerwood, we don’t give a shit about Manchester United or your fantasies about buggering Beckham. Got it? Good. (snicker))