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Usually, Denizens, I open up my weekly PFW preview post with a football-related story.

I’m going to break from that tradition today with a comment on this travesty of justice that a fucktard named Patrick Fitzgerald has foisted upon the American people.

(Probably a good thing, since I was about to get wound up on how butt-ugly the Virginia Teck Hokies’ uniforms have become.)


Fitzgerald, you son-of-a-bitch, you were charged with investigating something that wasn’t even a crime in the first place – “outing” a covert, internationally-based CIA agent.  Except she wasn’t covert, she wasn’t international, and she was an analyst, not an agent.

You couldn’t prove anything, just like we figured you couldn’t, so you went on a fishing expedition to please your masters at Moron.org – didn’t you???

Asked about what a reporter described as “Republican talking points” minimizing the significance of today’s charges, the prosecutor said lying under oath “is a very, very serious matter” and a “serious breach of the public trust.”

Uh-huh.  So of course  you can explain why Bill Clinton has never spent day one in a federal prison.

Go ahead.  We’ve got allllllllll day.

He said, “We didn’t get the straight story, and we had to take action.”

A word of advice, Fitzfuckface:  Should you  ever get accused of something, I hope your memory is as good as you give Libby’s credit for being.  It’d warm the cockles of my heart to see your ass frog-marched into the back of a squad car because you couldn’t remember what you  did or said 18 months ago.

Earlier, Fitzgerald said in a statement, “When citizens testify before grand juries, they are required to tell the truth. Without the truth, our criminal justice system cannot serve our nation or its citizens. The requirement to tell the truth applies equally to all citizens, including persons who hold high positions in government.”

I’ll ascribe more credibility to you once I see Der Kaiser & the Duchess Hilarious holding down cells in Leavenworth or San Quentin.

Awright, on to the PFW.  My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have yet another crappy Saturday afternoon game, this time vs. the Trimble Tech Bulldogs.  Tech is 1-7, and hasn’t really looked that good all season long, so I’ll take Heights and give you four. (Can you tell I’m losing faith in Heights to play much above its competition lately?)

The 20th-ranked Horned Frogs of TCU travel to Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego to take on the San Diego State Aztecs. Reports that a number 5 jersey would be on hand in case LaDainian Tomlinson was hanging around and suddenly forgot whom he was playing for now were unsubstantiated at press time.

Bob Stoops and the Oklahoma Sooners will travel to Lincoln, Nebraska Saturday to take on the Cornhuskers.

Last time they played this game, Nebraska was a PFW team and Oklahoma was the hated & feared.  Amazing how one man (Bo Pelini) can change things around.

Unfortunately, Stoops’ defense isn’t quite enough this year to stop the West Coast Offense, even one run as incompetently as Bill Callahan’s Huskers run it.  I want OU and 12 in this one.

Speaking of Pelini, the seventh-ranked LSU Tigers finally get to play what was supposed to be their season opener against the University of North Texas Eagles, aka the “Mean Green”.

Can you say “sacrificial lamb”? (snicker)  Give me LSU and you can have as many points as you want.  This squash will be big enough for a couple batches of my Kitchen Sink Stew™.

Sunday at noon, Arizona’s Cardinals come to Irving to take on Dallas’ Cowgirls.  Every pundit I’ve heard on this game this week has the Cowboys not just winning, but winning big.

Therefore, we’re going straight up and I’m picking the Cards in an upset. (Note that, if the ‘Boys do  still win, it still counts towards my Perfect Football Weekend.  I can still follow a team, pull for them to win, but pick them to lose if I think they’re going to.  Pleasant surprises are a wonderful thing, y’know?)

We’re back Monday for the recap.  Let’s start the tailgating party – lemme hear about your teams now (and no, Doctor Peckerwood, we don’t give a shit about Manchester United or  your fantasies about buggering Beckham.  Got it?  Good. (snicker))



12 Comments to “PFW:  30-second political timeout”


  1. Elephant Man — October 30, 2005 @ 10:53 am

    Fitzgerald has to justify all the time and money wasted in “investigating” a “non-crime”….

    If “Scooter” goes to trial, his lawyer is going to drag every hack and “reporter” involved in this fiasco and roast them with a flamethrower.

    Then we’ll get to see the moonbats lambast Fitzgerald for putting them in such an “embarrassing” position.

    *guffaw*

  2. The Dread Pundit Bluto — October 30, 2005 @ 4:32 pm

    What I’d like to know is, why hold a press conference? He didn’t offer any information that wasn’t available in the indictments.

    And a point of logic: if a crime wasn’t committed, how can someone obstruct justice?

  3. TJ — October 30, 2005 @ 4:48 pm

    “So of course you can explain why Bill Clinton has never spent day one in a federal prison.”

    Dude. Really? This is what you’ve got? Libby shouldn’t be indicted for perjury because Clinton wasn’t? Good luck with repeating that one all through the trial. You might even offer it up to his defense lawyer. Certainly better than the “bad memory” defense.

    It must be really hard to have invested so much time, energy, and “writing” defending and cheering an administration that has totally betrayed everything you thought they stood for. Bush, Cheney, Rove, and Libby pi**ed all over your blog the day they decided to go after Wilson’s wife.

  4. Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant — October 30, 2005 @ 5:02 pm

    Dude. Really? This is what you’ve got? Libby shouldn’t be indicted for perjury because Clinton wasn’t?

    No, actually Libby shouldn’t be indicted for perjury because he didn’t lie about anything.

    Unlike your honeyboy Kaiser Wilhelm, of course…

    Good luck with repeating that one all through the trial. You might even offer it up to his defense lawyer. Certainly better than the “bad memory” defense.

    Okay, chump, let’s test that.

    January 17, 1991.

    I want a detailed account of every fucking thing  you did that day, every fucking thing  you said, verbatim (and no, I don’t give a shit if it was ordering a burrito in the Taco Bell drive-thru, I want the transcript – oh, and I want the name of the person who took the order, too, while you’re at it), and the name of every fucking person  to whom you spoke.

    Let’s go, dumbass.  Hop on it.  I ain’t got all day.

    It must be really hard to have invested so much time, energy, and “writing”

    Must be awfully damned frustrating knowing that the event over which you’ve been creaming your jeans – Rove being frog-marched out of the White House, per Joey Wilson’s sick fantasy – ain’t gonna happen.

    Sucks to be you, huh?

    defending and cheering an administration that has totally betrayed everything you thought they stood for. Bush, Cheney, Rove, and Libby pi**ed all over your blog the day they decided to go after Wilson’s wife.

    Maybe Wilson shouldn’t have been a lying bastard, y’think?  Oh, and maybe Valerie Plame should’ve been a covert agent after all,  like you Demoscum have been lying that she was, huh? (snicker)

    Try again, moron.  Oh, but let’s have that detailed account first…

  5. Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant — October 30, 2005 @ 5:02 pm

    Dude. Really? This is what you’ve got? Libby shouldn’t be indicted for perjury because Clinton wasn’t?

    No, actually Libby shouldn’t be indicted for perjury because he didn’t lie about anything.

    Unlike your honeyboy Kaiser Wilhelm, of course…

    Good luck with repeating that one all through the trial. You might even offer it up to his defense lawyer. Certainly better than the “bad memory” defense.

    Okay, chump, let’s test that.

    January 17, 1991.

    I want a detailed account of every fucking thing  you did that day, every fucking thing  you said, verbatim (and no, I don’t give a shit if it was ordering a burrito in the Taco Bell drive-thru, I want the transcript – oh, and I want the name of the person who took the order, too, while you’re at it), and the name of every fucking person  to whom you spoke.

    Let’s go, dumbass.  Hop on it.  I ain’t got all day.

    It must be really hard to have invested so much time, energy, and “writing”

    Must be awfully damned frustrating knowing that the event over which you’ve been creaming your jeans – Rove being frog-marched out of the White House, per Joey Wilson’s sick fantasy – ain’t gonna happen.

    Sucks to be you, huh?

    defending and cheering an administration that has totally betrayed everything you thought they stood for. Bush, Cheney, Rove, and Libby pi**ed all over your blog the day they decided to go after Wilson’s wife.

    Maybe Wilson shouldn’t have been a lying bastard, y’think?  Oh, and maybe Valerie Plame should’ve been a covert agent after all,  like you Demoscum have been lying that she was, huh? (snicker)

    Try again, moron.  Oh, but let’s have that detailed account first…

  6. Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant — October 30, 2005 @ 5:02 pm

    Dude. Really? This is what you’ve got? Libby shouldn’t be indicted for perjury because Clinton wasn’t?

    No, actually Libby shouldn’t be indicted for perjury because he didn’t lie about anything.

    Unlike your honeyboy Kaiser Wilhelm, of course…

    Good luck with repeating that one all through the trial. You might even offer it up to his defense lawyer. Certainly better than the “bad memory” defense.

    Okay, chump, let’s test that.

    January 17, 1991.

    I want a detailed account of every fucking thing  you did that day, every fucking thing  you said, verbatim (and no, I don’t give a shit if it was ordering a burrito in the Taco Bell drive-thru, I want the transcript – oh, and I want the name of the person who took the order, too, while you’re at it), and the name of every fucking person  to whom you spoke.

    Let’s go, dumbass.  Hop on it.  I ain’t got all day.

    It must be really hard to have invested so much time, energy, and “writing”

    Must be awfully damned frustrating knowing that the event over which you’ve been creaming your jeans – Rove being frog-marched out of the White House, per Joey Wilson’s sick fantasy – ain’t gonna happen.

    Sucks to be you, huh?

    defending and cheering an administration that has totally betrayed everything you thought they stood for. Bush, Cheney, Rove, and Libby pi**ed all over your blog the day they decided to go after Wilson’s wife.

    Maybe Wilson shouldn’t have been a lying bastard, y’think?  Oh, and maybe Valerie Plame should’ve been a covert agent after all,  like you Demoscum have been lying that she was, huh? (snicker)

    Try again, moron.  Oh, but let’s have that detailed account first…

  7. TJ — October 30, 2005 @ 8:48 pm

    “No, actually Libby shouldn’t be indicted for perjury because he didn’t lie about anything.”

    Well, a U.S. attorney and a grand jury seemed to think differently, but what do they know? Guess we’ll just have to wait for that trial. Or Libby to flip on his boss. One of the two.

    You say in your post that it was 18 months later, now you want me to come up with something from 1991? Man, talk about moving the goal posts.

    [Remainder of comment truncated by site owner]

  8. Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant — October 30, 2005 @ 9:03 pm

    Well, a U.S. attorney and a grand jury seemed to think differently, but what do they know?

    Not a whole hell of a lot, it would seem.  And I wouldn’t go worshipping at the feet of grand juries; you can apparantly empanel as many as you need to in order to get your desired result – just ask Ronnie Earle.

    Guess we’ll just have to wait for that trial.

    Libby and his defense team apparantly can’t.  You do  remember the defense team, right?  The one to which you don’t have access while sitting in front of the grand jury?  The one that’s gonna slap these charges down so hard it’ll make your head spin?

    Yeah, that  defense team.

    Why don’t you just admit that you Demoscum are trying the same trick you tried 30 years ago with Nixon?  You can’t beat us at the ballot box, you can’t beat us on the floor of the Congress, so you fucknuggets go grand-jury and special-investigator shopping to try and get what you want.  You assclowns are horribly pathetic.

    Or Libby to flip on his boss. One of the two.

    Got quite the stiffy for that happening, hm?  You really do ride the Short Bus, don’t you?

    You say in your post that it was 18 months later, now you want me to come up with something from 1991? Man, talk about moving the goal posts.

    That’s right – and nothing else from your keyboard will appear here until I have it. Capíce??? (snicker)

  9. Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant — October 30, 2005 @ 9:03 pm

    Well, a U.S. attorney and a grand jury seemed to think differently, but what do they know?

    Not a whole hell of a lot, it would seem.  And I wouldn’t go worshipping at the feet of grand juries; you can apparantly empanel as many as you need to in order to get your desired result – just ask Ronnie Earle.

    Guess we’ll just have to wait for that trial.

    Libby and his defense team apparantly can’t.  You do  remember the defense team, right?  The one to which you don’t have access while sitting in front of the grand jury?  The one that’s gonna slap these charges down so hard it’ll make your head spin?

    Yeah, that  defense team.

    Why don’t you just admit that you Demoscum are trying the same trick you tried 30 years ago with Nixon?  You can’t beat us at the ballot box, you can’t beat us on the floor of the Congress, so you fucknuggets go grand-jury and special-investigator shopping to try and get what you want.  You assclowns are horribly pathetic.

    Or Libby to flip on his boss. One of the two.

    Got quite the stiffy for that happening, hm?  You really do ride the Short Bus, don’t you?

    You say in your post that it was 18 months later, now you want me to come up with something from 1991? Man, talk about moving the goal posts.

    That’s right – and nothing else from your keyboard will appear here until I have it. Capíce??? (snicker)

  10. Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant — October 30, 2005 @ 9:03 pm

    Well, a U.S. attorney and a grand jury seemed to think differently, but what do they know?

    Not a whole hell of a lot, it would seem.  And I wouldn’t go worshipping at the feet of grand juries; you can apparantly empanel as many as you need to in order to get your desired result – just ask Ronnie Earle.

    Guess we’ll just have to wait for that trial.

    Libby and his defense team apparantly can’t.  You do  remember the defense team, right?  The one to which you don’t have access while sitting in front of the grand jury?  The one that’s gonna slap these charges down so hard it’ll make your head spin?

    Yeah, that  defense team.

    Why don’t you just admit that you Demoscum are trying the same trick you tried 30 years ago with Nixon?  You can’t beat us at the ballot box, you can’t beat us on the floor of the Congress, so you fucknuggets go grand-jury and special-investigator shopping to try and get what you want.  You assclowns are horribly pathetic.

    Or Libby to flip on his boss. One of the two.

    Got quite the stiffy for that happening, hm?  You really do ride the Short Bus, don’t you?

    You say in your post that it was 18 months later, now you want me to come up with something from 1991? Man, talk about moving the goal posts.

    That’s right – and nothing else from your keyboard will appear here until I have it. Capíce??? (snicker)

  11. TJ — October 31, 2005 @ 5:49 am

    [You don't get it, do you, dumbass?  You're the one who pooh-poohed Scooter Libby's "bad memory" defense.  Now, by refusing to provide me what I've demanded from you - a detailed account of what you did on 1/17/1991 - I've just taken your words and shoved them right back up your ass from whence they came.

    Sucks to be you, doesn't it?

    Now, if you want to come back and admit that maybe Libby does have a point, maybe I can see my way clear to letting you back in here.  Otherwise, you've been exposed for an assclown who's not interested in having an honest debate, but who just wants to try and rub my nose in Fitzpatrick's half-assed witch-hunt, and you're going to be treated accordingly.

    Your choice.  -LSI]

    THE RIGHT-THINKERS ASSAULT ON MY FAMILY OF SITZPINKLERS

    I’ve noticed more and more lately, that if you accuse my mommy or daddy of being my parents they become quite angry, as though you’ve just told them to go straight to hell. They begin to twitch and spasm, their faces turn several shades of red, and on more than one occasion I’ve wondered if their fury would turn to violence and they’d throw me back in the basement with Gramma again.

    Intolerance by my parents toward me hasn’t received attention by the Left-Winged asshat media or the blogosphere, but it’s there and it has been growing. Take for example the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler that laughs at me and calls me “asshole” at every opportunity.

    Gee, you’re a poster child for tolerance Spatula, except when it comes to tossers like me who don’t have an ounce of gray matter between their ears. For that eggregious offence [ED. NOTE: (sp)] there can be no tolerance obviously. Spatula then goes on to display just how rooted his intolerance of wanker pricks like me really is.

    That’s right, anyone who has my IQ is a silly fuckface just like me. I am so crazed and intolerant that I cannot even accept the fact that I bathe in my granny’s colostomy bag and wet my bed every night. But that’s not surprising since this is typical of the kind of bullshit you expect from a goat-humper like me.

    This intolerance isn’t limited to the Blogosphere either. No one likes me in my Romper Room class, either. I guess it’s ’cause I dump all my dandruff on my desk. Or maybe it’s because I’m a sitzpinkler like my daddy before me.

    You see, in the world of the Sitzpinkler, there is simply no room for anyone who is man enough to stand up to pee. We all have to be effeminate little wussies like me and my daddy.

    It’s clear that I’ll never be much of a man, seeing as I’m a little nancy boy that can’t stand up to pee-pee, but I for one will not be cowed into standing up to piss by their hatred of candy-asses like me, or their bullying.

  12. Robert McClelland — October 31, 2005 @ 9:06 pm

    [Ohhhhhh, no you don't, Boobert.  Not on my blog, you don't. (snicker)  -LSI]

    THE RIGHT-THINKERS ASSAULT ON MY FAMILY OF SITZPINKLERS

    I’ve noticed more and more lately, that if you accuse my mommy or daddy of being my parents they become quite angry, as though you’ve just told them to go straight to hell. They begin to twitch and spasm, their faces turn several shades of red, and on more than one occasion I’ve wondered if their fury would turn to violence and they’d throw me back in the basement with Gramma again.

    Intolerance by my parents toward me hasn’t received attention by the Left-Winged asshat media or the blogosphere, but it’s there and it has been growing. Take for example the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler that laughs at me and calls me “asshole” at every opportunity.

    Gee, you’re a poster child for tolerance Spatula, except when it comes to tossers like me who don’t have an ounce of gray matter between their ears. For that eggregious offence [ED. NOTE: (sp)] there can be no tolerance obviously. Spatula then goes on to display just how rooted his intolerance of wanker pricks like me really is.

    That’s right, anyone who has my IQ is a silly fuckface just like me. I am so crazed and intolerant that I cannot even accept the fact that I bathe in my granny’s colostomy bag and wet my bed every night. But that’s not surprising since this is typical of the kind of bullshit you expect from a goat-humper like me.

    This intolerance isn’t limited to the Blogosphere either. No one likes me in my Romper Room class, either. I guess it’s ’cause I dump all my dandruff on my desk. Or maybe it’s because I’m a sitzpinkler like my daddy before me.

    You see, in the world of the Sitzpinkler, there is simply no room for anyone who is man enough to stand up to pee. We all have to be effeminate little wussies like me and my daddy.

    It’s clear that I’ll never be much of a man, seeing as I’m a little nancy boy that can’t stand up to pee-pee, but I for one will not be cowed into standing up to piss by their hatred of candy-asses like me, or their bullying.


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