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The Department of Bee-Effin’-Dee checks in with this news item concerning Sheryl Crow’s hired dick boy toy lover live-in boyfriend.

ROME (AP) – Lance Armstrong has been ordered to stand trial in Italy on charges of defaming cyclist Filippo Simeoni.

Armstrong’s lawyer in Italy, Enrico Nan, said Thursday that the seven-time Tour de France champion was indicted Wednesday and scheduled to go to trial on March 7.

Nan said Armstrong does not face jail time, but he could be fined if found guilty.

Memo to the Rome judicial system:  Good luck collecting.

Armstrong is being investigated for pursuing Simeoni during an early stage breakaway in last year’s Tour de France and reportedly threatening him for testifying about doping abuse in the trial of an Italian doctor associated with Armstrong.

Simeoni told an Italian court in 2002 that doctor Michele Ferrari advised him to take performance-enhancing drugs. Later, Armstrong reportedly called Simeoni a liar, and the Italian sued the American for libel.

Hey, Simeoni?  You’re not just a liar, you’re an asshatted, limp-wristed, fuckfaced son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch liar.

Go ahead and sue me.  And do  please come try to collect…heh…heh…heh…

Ferrari was given a 12-month suspended jail sentence in October 2004 for sports fraud and malpractice. He has always denied he dispensed illegal substances to athletes and is appealing the sentence.

Oh, and you’re a fuckin’ criminal, too.  Sod off, Short Bus.



2 Comments to “Hey, Simeoni!  Read this!!!”


  1. Clint Wilcox — December 15, 2005 @ 9:43 pm

    This is no shock.
    His room was searched during the last Tour de France, and several items that are contreband in France were discovered, including soap, toothpaste, shampoo, and deorant. The French were so alarmed that they performed a search of his person and found two performance enhancing items rarely found in France: testicles and a spine.

  2. Elephant Man — December 17, 2005 @ 8:09 am

    What?!

    Lance Armstrong’s lawyer is Encino Man?!

    You’d think that he would’ve hired someone better than a thawed out caveman from some movie!

    Furthermore, why would the Italian courts allow this to happe…..

    What was that?

    His name is Enrico Nan?

    Never mind….. *guffaw*



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