Yes, Denizens - I know it's Cafe Press. Yes, I know that they're a liberal-owned company. Yes, I'm aware that the quality of their garments may not be quite as good as ThoseShirts.com.
But unlike ThoseShirts.com, Cafe Press ACTUALLY ANSWERS THE EMAIL I SEND THEM!!!!
Got clue, ThoseShirts???
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For this episode of the Perfect Football Weekend™, Denizens, I’m going to take the expected potshot at the fans of the Texas University Shortdicks Longhorns Shortdicks.
Hey, T-sips!  Yeah, you pinky-extended-from-the-teacup, limp-wristed, needle-dicked, give-us-back-our-one-second-on-the-clock douchebags!
Remember, Colt McCoy?  Yeah, that overhyped, overrated, under-talented third-round draft choice  that you faggots were absolutely certain  could have beaten Alabama’s top-ranked defense if only  he hadn’t gotten tapped on the shoulder and pinchy-ed hisself a nerve!
Yeah, that  one.
Turns out that Bwad’s Widdle Boy™…is probably not even going to be good enough to crack the Cleveland Browns’ roster.
McCoy was taken in the 3rd round of last April’s NFL Draft, but according to quotes from Browns coach Eric Mangini, his spot is far from guaranteed on the Browns’ active roster this fall.
“I’ve kept four as a head coach and have been on teams that have kept four as an assistant coach. I have also been on [teams that only kept] two,” Mangini said, according to ProFootballTalk.com.
Earlier this week, the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s Tony Grossi listed McCoy among the members of the Browns who “need good showings in the last two games to make the roster.”.
The Browns’ top two spots seem cemented, with newly acquired Jake Delhomme pencilled in as the starter and Seneca Wallace a clear choice for the No. 2 QB.
Y’hear that, T-sips?  That’d be Seneca Wallace…of freakin’ Iowa State.
Iowa.
State.
Perennial Big XII One Less Than Eleven™ doormat.
Your football ghod  can’t even beat out Seneca freakin’ Wallace  for the number two spot.
Meanwhile, remember Sam Bradford?  Former OU quarterback and number-one draft pick of the St. Louis Rams?  The guy you swore up & down couldn’t carry Colt’s!!!!!  fuckin’ jock?
Tore up the Patriots the other day.
QB Sam Bradford didn’t look like a rookie. In fact, you couldn’t tell that he wasn’t a veteran by the way he played — a complete departure from his first two outings. He played with tremendous poise and threw with outstanding accuracy.
While his offensive line deserves a lot of credit, Bradford did a great job of throwing with timing and anticipation, two traits that even the best quarterbacks don’t display.
You never want to read too much into any preseason game, but Bradford was simply terrific. You can see clearly why they drafted him. He has a great feel for the passing game. He basically defeated New England’s pass rush by getting the ball out of his hands quickly.
Eh, what say you, T-sips?
(crickets)
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Oh, and one other thing:  Not quite as easy  for ol’ Colt when he doesn’t have seventh-year pro  Jordan Shitty Shipley bailing out his ass, is it now?
Let’s go to the PFW.  It’s Cowboys-Pewstun Saturday night for something called the Governor’s Cup, which I think is a moldy old clay pot somewhere in Lwaxanna Troi’s closet.
KORRIOTH:  Uh, that would be the Sacred Chalice of Riix™, m’lord.
Whatever.  Anyway, it’s the so-called “dress rehersal” game, and it happens to involve two of the three major hubs of the Realm, namely us and the Southern Command.  Supreme General Rayegun, would you care to make anything resembling a wager on the outcome? Perhaps wings or somethin’?
We’re back Monday for the recap.  As has usually been the case this preseason, if there are any other games I happen to catch more than a glimpse of, I’ll chronicle ’em here.
In the meantime, the floor is open for all trash talk.
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2 responses to “PFW:  Not really all that ‘n a bag o’ chips, is he…?”
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set about 1024x7681280x1024 with your Favorites windowactivated on the leftdeactivated. (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)
(KORRIOTH: Oh, great. More wormholes.)
Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice. -
You can use
Nutscrape,
if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?
And don't even get me started on Opera or Chrome. I'm not about to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
“All that and a bag of chips” has got to be the dumbest of Generation Y’s slang. Every time I hear it the first thing that pops into my head is the word “ripoff.” What anorexic teenage slacker invented that phrase? A bag of chips? C’mon! Chips are to “all that” what 32 cents are to 516 dollars. Especially if you’re talking about those measly 1.5 ounce bags from the vending machine, or that Subway and Schlotzky’s passes off as a side order.
Who are you and what did you do with Alan?