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When you can make Jay Fuckin’ Cutler  look like an All-Pro, there can not be the slightest fucking doubt about things – you don’t have a good team.

Arlington Heights 49, O.D.Wyatt 0

at #4 Texas Christian 45, Baylor 10

at #7 Oklahoma 27, Air Force 24

#8 Nebraska 56, at Washington 21

Kansas 16, at Southern Piss Miss 31

at #11 Wisconsin 20, Arizona St. 19

at Dallas 20, Shit-cago 27

Heights is officially back.

Fort Worth Arlington Heights brought its big expectations to Farrington Field on Friday and complemented them with big play after big play after big play after big play.

The Yellow Jackets employed its explosive array of skill-position athletes on offense and a misery defense to erase any doubt — if there was any — that they’re the District 6-4A front-runner.

Heights scored three touchdowns on pass plays of more than 70 yards and another of 40 to overrun Fort Worth Wyatt 39-0.

Part of the summary read as follows:

Brad Bloxom 40-yard pass from Omar Valadez (Omar Valadez run)
AH — Dennis Brooks 83-yard pass from Omar Valadez (William Anderson from Diego Valadez)
AH — Marquis Jackson 72-yard pass from Omar Valadez (Alex Faoro kick)
AH — Marquis Jackson 90-yard pass from Omar Valadez (Alex Faoro kick)

When your low  scoring play is 40 yards, you’re either that good or your opposition is that bad.  (And it could be a bit of both, who knows?  Wyatt didn’t score on Heights last  year, either.)

Valadez was 11-17-362 and 4 scores, although the Chaps did  manage to pick him off once.  Marquis Jackson & Dennis Brooks combined for eight catches and 321 yards of Valadez’ total.

After three quarters, you figured OU was on its way.  Even after the Falcons had tied things up at 10, the Sooners responded by ripping Air Force for 17 points, and could probably have gotten more.

Air Force, though, had other ideas.  They held the Crimson & Cream™ scoreless while grabbing a couple of touchdowns themselves (Jared Tew on a five-yard scamper and Kyle Halderman from 15 yards out); OU had to get a first down late to hold them off.

Jones was 26-42-254 and one score; Demarco Murray got 110 yards and two touchdowns on 26 carries, and added a 17-yard catch for a score.  Ryan Broyles caught 10 balls for 116 yards.

There will likely be some growing pains in the first year or two of Taylor Martinez era at Nebraska.  But there can be no doubt that that era has officially begun.

Seven of eleven for 150 yards and a score.  Nineteen carries for 137 yards and three more scores.

Shades of Eric Crouch.

In fact, shades of the old Husker teams of the Osborne era.  Running over, around and through the Huskies (383 yards, with Helu & Burkhead adding 214 and three touchdowns to Martinez’ total); the Blackshirt defense hassling Jake Locker into two interceptions (one a pick-six) – the effort was reminiscent of the old Big Eight days, and just as welcome.

By contrast, Bucky’s day against the Sun Devils nearly turned disasterous.

With four minutes to go, State’s Cam Marshall scored on a two yard run, sending Tom Weber out to tie the game with the PAT.

Enter senior Jay Valai.  The safety broke through the line and blocked the attempt, preserving the victory for the Badgers.

“I jumped over somebody’s leg, or maybe I crawled under because I’m a little short,” Valai said. “But I made the play and blocked it.”

John Clay rushed for 123 yards and a score on 22 carries, and Scott Tolzien was a very managerial 19-25-246 and a score.

Welcome to the Rock Chalk Rollercoaster.  Step right up and strap yourselves in for the ride of your life.

Just when you think Kansas can get things rolling, Turner Gill’s bunch coughs up another hairball featherball, getting embarrassed by a Conference USA “powerhouse” (cough) that – I’m sorry – really isn’t that good.

KORRIOTH:  They beat TCU there a few years ago in-conference.

Yeah, and then came down here the next year and got their asses handed to them.

But what really chaps my ass is how ESPN dons the kneepads for these clowns.

Southern Miss (2-1) has won 10 straight home games dating to 2008. The Golden Eagles have been hard on BCS teams who have ventured to Hattiesburg in recent years, also beating Virginia 37-34 last season and North Carolina State 37-17 in 2006.

Oh.  Yeah.  Right.  Those noted powerhouses, Virginia and NC State. 

There’s no game story, really.  Turner’s group just isn’t ready for prime-time.  And because of this, it’s the SpatulaLine™ for them the rest of this season.  It’s either that or yank ‘em from the PFW altogether.

And to think – I was actually worried about this game.  Shows you what I get for listening to the Lame Stream Media™.  They were touting the fact that Baylor was 2-0 for the first time in years and  hadn’t even so much as allowed a touchdown.

What the media hadn’t  been saying was who the Cubbies had played:  Sam Houston State (Div. 1-AA) and UBeefalo (minus Turner Gill – bet he wishes he were back there now, huh?)

This one was over early.  Dalton found Jermey Kerley for 30 yards down the middle, untouched, for six.  Then after a Bear three-and-out, Ed Wesley took one off left guard and raced 49 yards to paydirt, and the TCU defense made it stand up.  Robert Griffin III did  collect a 60-yard bomb for a score in the third, but by then the outcome had long since been decided, as TCU had taken a 35-3 lead into the half.

Dalton set a school record for passing efficiency (21-23-267/2 TDs (91%)), and Ed Wesley continued his ground assault with 165 yards on 19 carries, effectively securing his position as this year’s #1 Frog back.

This excuse-for-a-team is done.  Mark the date & time – you read it here first.

The C’girl offense was gashing the Bears early, and the lineback tandem of Ware & Spencer was giving Jay “Pick” Cutler fits.

Then Shitcago burned the C’girl blitz a couple times (the last one for a score) and Jason “Genius” Garrett started having Romo sling the ball all over the place.

The ‘Girl offensive O-line stopped blocking and Romo had to start running for his life, and the Swiss-cheese C’girl secondary started letting Cutler play pitch-and-catch with his receivers.  It was no contest.  Buehler missed another  chip-shot (for him) FG attempt, Shitcago scored four plays later, and it was over.

The C’girls are 0-2 now; they’re going to be 0-3 after next week, and you can kiss the playoffs goodbye.

Consider.  After the bye week, they will have Tennessee here, at Minne-ha-ha, the NY Football Douchebags here, Jacksonville here, at Green Bay and at the Douchebags, before catching a break and getting Detroit here, but then Super Bowl champion New Orleans comes here for the Thanksgiving game.

The way they’re playing right now, they might  win the Jacksonville game (not a gimme) and they probably (hopefully?) beat Detroit.  At that point, they’re 2-8 – 1-9 if Jacksonville comes in and kicks their asses, which I’ll likely expect by then.

Don’t tell this to Owner Jethro, though.  He thinks being patient – i.e, adopting the ostrich approach and sticking his ass head in the sand – is going to make this all better.

Really, Jethro?

Enjoy your 100,000 seat mausoleum, assclown.  You will have deserved it.

This week:  5-2.  Overall:  16-4.

The PFW will return Thursday, at which time we’ll contemplate whether or not Rock Chalk & the Cowgirlz get to stick around.




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