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We start off this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 by quoting that great sage Jerry Jones (*cough!!!*), who once said:

“Football is a contact sport.”

All together now:&#160 “Well, duh.”&#160

Well, try telling that to the parents of a kid who was tragically injured during a drill designed to defeat the block below the waist.&#160 Which, by the way, is illegal, but it still gets done, so…

Anyway, in order to get the kid some practice trying to dodge it, a coach threw a tackling dummy at the kid’s legs.&#160 The kid either whiffed on the lesson, or was just slow – but either way, he couldn’t get out of the way in time, and injured his knee.

The parents are suing.

The parents of a youth football player have filed a lawsuit claiming an assistant coach severely injured their son’s leg during a drill two years ago.

The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reports that the lawsuit claims that, in November 2008, the coach swung a tackling dummy toward Ryan Spence’s legs during a drill to teach players how to avoid illegal blocks. The suit says the dummy hit Ryan’s left leg and damaged his knee. The boy, who was 10 at the time, has undergone two surgeries.

Look, I understand wanting to protect the young’un, and I might…might…feel the same way if this were Skip.

But, parents…you can’t be serious.

Lookit.&#160 Football, as Owner Jethro points out, is a contact sport.&#160 Injuries happen.&#160 Even in practice.

The solution would be to put pleated skirts on them all, play flag or two-below and hand out trophies to everyone at the end of the year – whether they won or not…hell, whether they played&#160 or not.

Oh.&#160 Wait.&#160 That’s what the fucking libtards want, isn’t it?

Let’s get on with the football.&#160 As the placeholder mentioned, tonight the seventh-ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers are in Lawrence Manhattan, KS to play Bill Snyder’s Family’s Kansas State Jayhawks.

MERLIN:&#160 Bill Snyder’s Family’s…?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Well, that’s what they call the stadium, anyway.

Last time the Huskers visited K-State, it was an unmitigated disaster under Bill Callahan.&#160 Thankfully, it helped usher in the Bo Pelini era.

Nebraska’s an 11&#189-poing road warrior according to Vegas – and, if their ears are still smarting from the chewing Bo gave ’em after S. Dakota State, Go Big Red will cover and then some.

Friday, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets get the second breather of the season as they go up against the North Side Steers.&#160 North Side is 0-5, and just to show you how absolutely horrific they are – they lost to Eastern Hills 21-48.&#160 You know – the team that Heights destroyed last week, 54-8?

Gimme Heights and you can have 60.

Saturday, Gary Patterson and his fifth-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs have what should&#160 be an easy time of it when the Wyoming Cowboys come a-callin’.&#160 Now, Wyoming gave both TU and Smurf Turf BS State a game before falling, so it’s not a gimme.&#160 Vegas, though, has the Froggies as a 33&#189-point favorite, so they must know something I don’t.

Also Saturday, Bucky – having been properly chastised by being busted down to #20 – will take out its frustrations in Madison for Paul Bunyan’s Axe&#153 against the perenially woeful Minnesota Golden Gophers.

Bucky’s a 22-point favorite at home.&#160 Even in the Badgers’ depleted state, I don’t think it’s gonna be that close.

Sunday finds the Dallas Cowgirlz at home off a bye week playing host to the Houston Oilers Tennessee Titans.

RAYEGUN:&#160 Can I send my fleet of dreadnaughts & black helicopters to get ’em back for the Southern Command?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Relax, General.&#160 The Texans are going to have a good year.&#160 You have to admit – they ran into a desperate buzzsaw a couple weeks ago.&#160 Y’all will be fine, no worries.

RAYEGUN:&#160 (grunt)

Sixth-ranked Oklahoma’s reward for dispatching TU last week is to have this week off.&#160 Kansas isn’t playing either…but then, they’ve only played one week this entire season, which is why we’re no longer tracking them.

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 With any luck, that one’ll be on time.

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