[SCENE:  On the bridge of ISS Titanic.  The ship has just returned to Realm™ spacedock after a successful month-long shakedown cruise to test the new warp core.  Chief Engineer Ozymandias McCool is beaming with pride at the rave review being given to him by Admiral Darth Venomous.]
VENOMOUS:  …we even got to test the upgraded particle disruptors, and for once, we made it through a successful mission without something or other blowing up.  I think you’ve earned that promotion back to Lieutenant Commander, Ozy, and it pleases me to so bestow you now…
OZY MCCOOL:  Thank you, Admiral.
VENOMOUS:  …and Wizard, if you want to embark on that vacation I’ve been promising you, I’ve taken the liberty of making a reservation for you on Risa.
MERLIN:  Thank you, m’liege.  At my age, it is sorely needed.  No pun intended, of course.
VENOMOUS:  Just one condition, my friend:  Under no circumstance are you to bring me a horga’hn – Mrs. Venomous would have what’s left of my skillet-battered head.
ALL:  BWAH-HAHAHAHA…!!!
[The laughter is rudely interrupted by a massive rocking of Titanic  and a simultaneous power failure.  The senior staff, including Venomous, are thrown about the bridge.  The automatic red-alert klaxons begin blaring.]
VENOMOUS (shouting at the nearest intercom):  Bridge to Engineering, report!!!
OFFSTAGE VOICE (over speaker):  1100 1001 1111 0000 1ac420dfee 1010 0101 ac2df19e…
[Even Venomous raises an eyebrow at that.  He’s never heard a Bynar use hexidecimal before.]
VENOMOUS:  Ozy, what the hell was he saying?!?!
[Ozy’s face is as white as a sheet.]
OZY MCCOOL:  There’s been an explosion in Engineering and they’re losing containment!  He’s estimating 10 minutes to a warp core breach!!!
VENOMOUS:  Oh, shit, not again.  Awright, guys, secure all stations and let’s get out of here!  T-Bone, get on it.
T-BONE MCMANX:  Aye, sir!  [He touches some controls and leans toward the pickup.]  All hands abandon ship!  Repeat, all hands abandon ship.  This is not  a drill.  I repeat, all hands abandon ship…
VENOMOUS (muttering to himself):  Just once  could I get some writers whose effing solution to everything wasn’t to blow up the damned ship…?!??!?!?!?!
—
Working through some issues here, Denizens.  Will try to post as time allows.  (It’s nothing serious, no worries – just a bleeping annoyance.)
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2 responses to “Death of the ISS Titanic, part the oneth.”
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It seems every time you try to upgrade, SHTF.
Might want to start building your own boxes.
My big problem is upgrading a box that:  1) has no business being upgraded (i.e. it’s really too old to upgrade), and 2) really needed other parts upgraded first a long time ago.
And I’ll let it go at that for now.  Don’t wanna give away too  much of the story.