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I try  to do this every year, but more often than not there just isn’t time to give it justice.  Which translates into a crappy post.

Oh, well – here goes…

2011 was the year of the Occutard.  The Occupussy.  The Occuchickenshit.  The lazy-assed, shiftless, shitheaded assholes of douchebaggery who think they entitled  to what we’ve worked so hard for, just because.

It started in September in New York City as “Occupy Wall Street” – and, when Michael Bloomberg, aka “Bloomberg the Ball-less” – being the pansy-ass he is – refused to kick them out, the bowel movement spread to other cities (and countries) as well, including a tiny one here at Realm™ Headquarters.

Supposedly, according to Wiki (for all they themselves have zero credibility), the so-called “Occupiers” are

protes[ing]…against social and economic inequality, high unemployment, greed, as well as corruption, and the undue influence of corporations—particularly from the financial services sector—on government. The protesters’ slogan We are the 99% refers to the growing income and wealth inequality in the U.S. between the wealthiest 1% and the rest of the population.

It’s all bullshit, of course – basically, these pusstards want what you & I have, and they don’t want to have to work to get it.  Their “solution” to this so-called “problem” is to take the 1-percent’s wealth and “redistribute it” (sound familiar?) to…them, of course.

Happily, though, some cities, such as Oakland, decided they’d had enough of the Occufools, and most of the encampments had been dismantled by December.

2011 was a year in which the morons Al-Obambi (beginning, of course, with Barack HUSSEIN!!!  Obambi, MMM, MMM, MMM!!!), continued to make asses & assholes of themselves – the endless vacations & golf trips, Solyndra, the USA credit downgrade, “Fast & Furious” aka Gunwalker, Al-Obambi’s refusal to enforce border laws, then suing states who tried to enforce it in their stead…the list just goes on & on.

UPDATE:  2011 was also the year that all United States troops left Iraq.  Followed immediately by the Taliban – y’know, the ragheads that Vice-Perpetrator Hair-Butt-Plugs-BiteMe says aren’t our enemy? – started bombing the place incessantly.

Heckuva job you’re doin’ there, Barry.

2011 was a year in which the Pussified Left™ continued to label any criticism of Bambi or his excuse-for-an-Attorney General, Eric(a) Holder, as racism.  And it was a year in which the charge itself lost any value whatsoever.

2011 was a year in which the European economy threatened utter collapse all year long – and also threatened to take the United States economy along with it.  As it was, the markets ended the year pretty much where they started it.

2011 was a year in which the states began to push back against the federal government.  26 states challenged the so-called “Affordable Health Care Act” law; the Soprano Supreme Court will hear those challenges this term.

It was a year that saw the end (for now, anyway) the end of the Harry Potter  franchise, the continuation of the Twilight  movie series (although it, too, received some push-back from George Takei, of all people), the slide into reprobation by one Destiny Hope “Miley” Cyrus, the continued slide into oblivion by Lindsay Lohan, the “coming out” by Hollyweirdos on nearly a monthly basis (most of whom were they subsequently pushed onto the ash heap of history), and the breakup of a number of Hollyweird power couples, most notably Maria Shriver & the Governator, “Ahnuld”, Demi Moore & Ashton Kuchter and Katy “Skank” Perry & Russell “Megaskank” Brand.

However, 2011 was also the year of the first royal wedding in some 25 years, as Prince Harry married Kate Middleton.  Married above ya, did ya son? 

2011 was the year the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex saw the Super Bowl, NBA Finals & the World Series all in the same calendar year.  It was the year the Dallas Mavericks won their first NBA championship in the 31-year history of the franchise.  The year also saw the Texas Rangers win their second straight American League pennant (and subsequently choke the Series to the St. Louis Cardinals, who really had no business being there in the first place).  It saw at least three sports franchises (two here in DFW) declare bankrupcy and obtain new ownership as a result; the third is still in the courts.

2011 was the year that TCU’s football team capped off its first perfect season ever with a win over Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl.  They would then follow that up with a 11-2 season that probably should been perfect as well – and would have been, save for a piece-o’-shit kicker and a highly-biased officiating crew.

2011 was the year the NFL’s Lombardi Trophy returned home to Green Bay.  And the Packers look like they may repeat this year.  And it was the year the NHL’s Stanley Cup was won by the Boston Bruins.

In 2011, we lost luminaries such as Amy Winehouse, Elizabeth Taylor, Steve Jobs, Andy Rooney, Bubba Smith, Don Meredith, Sherwood Schwartz, Betty Ford, Jimmy Kimmel’s uncle Frank, Jeff Conaway, Jackie Cooper, Jerry “Mr. Peppermint” Haynes, Peter Falk, Teena Marie, Gerry Rafferty, Don Kirschner, Randy Poffo (aka Randy “Macho Man” Savage), Jack LaLanne, Jane Russell, Phoebe Snow, James Arness, Clarence Clemons, Cliff Robertson, Bil Keane, Harry Morgan and Christopher Hitchens.

The year was not that great personally.  The diabetes gained the upper hand, although it prompted a round of weight loss (approximately 20 lbs. in three months) that will eventually beat it back.  Financially, the House of Venomous™ took a beating, as did most American households.  And yes, the end result was what you’d probably expect – and that’s all I’m going to say about it.

The good thing is that Mrs. Venomous is still here after two years of marriage, which is more than I can say for some of her predecessors.  She’s on her fourth iron skillet though, so…

The other good thing is that you’re still here, and I’m still here, and ready to replace a SCOAMF in the White House in 2012.  Let’s get to it!

NEXT:  2012 resolutions.

2 Comments to “Year in review 2011 (UPDATED)”

  1. Alan K. Henderson — January 1, 2012 @ 2:19 am

    How about some New Year’s predictions?


  2. Darth Venomous — January 1, 2012 @ 8:30 am

    I’m getting to that.  Patience, grasshopper. :-)

    Oh, wait…you said “predictions”.  That’s Merlin’s department. :-P

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