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I s’pose I have to get this done sometime,&#160 don’t I?

TCU 37, Northern Illinois 7
Oklahoma 42, Mr. PotatoHead SmurfTurf Bullshit State 29, Desperate Trick Plays That Proved They Couldn’t Play OU Straight Up 14
LSU 41, Notre Dame 14
Dallas 7, Phuckadelpha Beagles 23
Dallas 31, Detroit (Detroit?!?!?!) 39
Dallas 20, Seattle Seahags 21

Garrett Wolfe was the nation’s leading college rusher this year, so TCU looked to have its hands full at the Poinsettia Bowl.

Then again, a University of North Texas back led the nation in rushing a couple years ago, and that didn’t mean much in their bowl game, either.&#160 TCU jumped Wolfe early and often, managing to make first contact with him behind the line of scrimmage on nearly every one of his carries.

This game was close for…oh…about 15 minutes and 11 seconds – about the time TCU needed to get their second touchdown.&#160 Ballard was 19 of 29 for 258, and fellow outgoing senior Lonta Hobbs gained 109 on 18 carries and actually made it through an entire bowl game without fumbling for once.

TCU’s performance this past year (a second straight 11-win season) was enough to merit some interest from the University of Minnesota before they settled on Tim Brewster from the Denver Broncos.&#160 It’ll be interesting to see how ’07 shapes up for the Froggies, but here’s a hint for Patterson:&#160 If you go 1-10 next year, sir – that one win had damned&#160 well best be against the SMUT Shitland Ponies.

…

For all the talk about Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn during the regular season, he wasn’t even the best quarterback on the field at the Sugar Bowl.&#160 JaMarcus Russell was 21 of 34 for 322 and a couple of touchdowns, and Keiland Williams ran for 107 on 14 carries and a couple of touchdowns himself.

Bo Pelini’s defense was awesome as always, harassing Quinn into 15 of 35 for 148 – and although he threw for two TDs, he also threw a couple of picks.&#160 ND was held under 300 total yards.&#160 Bo should&#160 merit consideration as a head coach somewhere, but he’ll likely stay in Baton Rouge at least one more year.

…

If memory serves, I believe I’ve already mentioned something about OU and Mr. Potato Head State.&#160 A goodly portion of that was OU once again being careless with the ball, turning it over four times, one of which lead to a BS touchdown (slur intended).&#160 Thompson picked a bad time to revert to his TCU game form, throwing three picks and losing a fumble that led to the BS touchdown.

Still, this quote from Jared Zabransky is sooooo&#160 worthy of ridicule:

“We went 13-0 and beat everyone on our schedule,” said quarterback Jared Zabransky, selected the offensive MVP after completing 19 of 29 passes for 262 yards and three touchdowns. “We deserve a chance at the national title.”

Oh, bull fucking shit,&#160 Jabroni.&#160 You beat a pansy-assed WAC schedule, then needed trick-fucking-plays&#160 to survive against a perennially not-ready-for-bowl-season team.&#160 Lemme tell you something, moron:&#160 Michigan, Ohio State and Southern Cal could use your skanky ass for a broom on that SmurfTurf&#153 of yours, and I won’t even&#160 begin to speculate on what Florida would’ve done with you.&#160 Get a fookin’ grip, mkay?

…

On the other hand, it wouldn’t surprise me if BS State could give the Dallas Cowgirls a decent game.&#160 Which, sad to say, speaks more to the Cowgirls’ suckitude than it does BS State’s talent.

This gaggle of gagging underachievers let a backup quarterback&#160 hang 23 on them in their house, then turned around, bent over and grabbed the ankles for fucking Detroit,&#160 for Gawd’s sake.&#160 Yet another December collapse during the Noo Joisey Con Man era, this one leading to a surrendering of the division title to the aforementioned Phuckadelphia Beagles.

The playoff game against the Seattle Suckhawks was a perfect microcosm of the entire season:&#160 Start out like crap, surge in the middle, collapse at the end.&#160 And while Romo does&#160 deserve his share of the blame for dropping the placement (no, you morons, he didn’t drop the snap, he lost the grip while trying to put the ball down – go watch the replay again&#160 if you don’t believe me), he also deserves credit for getting Dallas that far in the first place.

Besides, the game should have never come down to that in the first place.&#160 One of Bill’s guys&#153,&#160 Widdle Terri Gwenn, was directly responsible for nine Seattle points when he fumbled the ball into his own end zone.&#160 The safety and ensuing Suckhawk touchdown gave Suckattle its margin of victory.&#160 Don’t forget – it was one of Bill’s guys&#153,&#160 one of the ones Bill brought in to teach the young players how Bill wanted the game played, that cost Dallas the game.

The other thing is this:&#160 With just over a minute left in the game, on fourth-and-inches, knowing Seattle was down to its last timeout and that your secondary hasn’t been able to stop Hasselbeck all night…why&#160 are you going for a field goal at that point?

The right call was obvious – well, it was to me, anyway:&#160 Sneak the ball the remaining one-half yard down to the one on fourth down, pick up the first, then take one or two knees and kick the winning field goal on third down.&#160 Even if you drop the placement like Romo did, you can come back on fourth down and try again – and Romo would not&#160 have dropped it a second consecutive time.

(No, you don’t want to score a touchdown there, as strange as that might sound.&#160 The idea was to keep the ball out of Hasselbeck’s hands at that point so he wouldn’t have the chance to hurt you.&#160 Naturally, Parcells didn’t do it that way – would’ve made too much sense.)

Now we’re saddled with a coach who, in case you’ve not heard, still hasn’t made up his mind about whether to come back for one more year.&#160 Although, at the rate he’s losing assistant coaches (another one deserted the sinking ship yesterday) – the decision might have already been made.

One can only hope, right?

Bowl Edition:&#160 2-4.&#160 Final Overall Record:&#160 57-28.

The PFW goes on the shelf for another year.&#160 We’ll see you back in August or thereabouts.

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One response to “PFW:&#160 Benediction ’07”

1. RobertHuntingdon says:

   February 2, 2007 at 4:55 pm

   Oh I don’t know, spats, Garcia is somebody who really shouldn’t BE a backup. He’s a lot better than your average bench warmer. I’m sure you can think of four or five teams right off the top of your head who could make a major upgrade to their current QB situation by bringing him as a starter. Still it was pretty embarassing that the cowboys let detroit beat them.

   And I do agree with the idea of trying to pick up the down. It’s the playoffs you have to go balls-to-the-wall all-out-for-broke if there’s at least a halfway decent chance of making it. I didn’t really think that through all the time earlier. But in retrospect I have to agree that they really should have gone for the first down… or maybe the TD. I don’t have a problem with that. Look how it worked out for Indy… up by four, NE had no choice but to go all out for a TD and Brady got picked. Could easily have happened to the seahawks here too. So maybe ideally you want to go for eating the whole clock but frankly I wouldn’t fall on the ball at the one if the endzone is there for the taking.

   RH

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