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Here’s the proof we needed to link Al-Obambi with the godfather of the socialist-marxist utopia that the progressives are salivating for:

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ThatIsAll&#153

By popular demand…

MERLIN:&#160 Meaning, of course, that it’s what you want, even if none of the rest of us do.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Meaning, old man, that it’s what Mrs. Venomous wants, and she still has the cast-iron skillet.

MERLIN:&#160 (ulp!)

…here once again, is the recipe for “Vodka Christmas Cake”.

You will need:&#160 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1…bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality.&#160 Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.&#160 Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.&#160 Add 1 teaspoon of sugar.&#160 Beat again.&#160 At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK.

Try another cup just in case.&#160 Turn off the mixerer thingy.&#160 Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.&#160 Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.

Mix on the turner.&#160 If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.&#160 Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity.&#160 Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.

Check the Vodka.&#160 Now $%^& shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.&#160 Add one table.&#160 Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.&#160 Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.&#160 Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.&#160 Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.&#160 Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the cat.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Does it work with Romulan ale?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Yeah, but you might not get past “Take a large bowl…”

KORRIOTH:&#160 I’ll risk it.

OZY McCOOL:&#160 You would.

KORRIOTH:&#160 (grunt)

…like…uh…me.&#160 (grin)

Hmm.&#160 Gotta remember to stock up on wallets.&#160

Denizens, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ve no doubt become attuned to the new dance craze sweeping YouTube – “Gangnam Style”.

The Emperor has judged a competition of sorts over at the Rott.

Of course, you haven’t really lived until you’ve seen it in the original Klingon…

Mheh.&#160

For your Sunday, Denizens – and since I know that at least some&#160 of youse guys (mheh) will be doing this this weekend – a short primer on the art of changing oil.

Below the fold, ’cause it’s kinda long – but a good read and always well worth your time, because I said so.&#160

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

MONEY SPENT

Oil Change $20.00 Coffee $1.00

TOTAL $21.00

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50 00

2) Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid’s pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.

18) Sunday: Skip church because “I gotta finish the oil change.” Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to be recycle!

19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.

21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24) Remember drain plug from step 11.

25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.

27) Drink beer.

28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.

29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

30) Drink beer.

31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.

32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.

33) Begin cussing fit.

34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes.

36) Beer.

37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

38) Beer.

39) Beer.

40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

41) Beer.

42) Lower car from jack stands.

43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.

44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 – 43.

45) Beer.

46) Test drive car.

47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

48) Car gets impounded.

49) Call loving wife, make bail.

50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

MONEY SPENT

Parts $50.00 DUI $2500.00 Impound fee $75.00 Bail $1500.00 Beer $40.00

TOTAL — $4165.00

BUT YOU KNOW THE JOB WAS DONE RIGHT

Snort.&#160

This happened yesterday morning at the State Fair of Texas.

Man, they’ll fry anything there these days.&#160

Not quite as easy when your All-Universe&#153 offense is going against an experienced&#160 defense, is it?

BWAH-HAHAHHAHAHAHA…!!!!1!!ELEVENTEENTYMILLION!!!!!111!!~

Rather blatantly highjacked from FB

Little Johnny even gets it right!!!!! Must be a TEXAS boy!
—————–
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.

Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different.

Little Johnny said, ‘Because I’m not an Obama fan.’

The teacher asked, ‘Why aren’t you an Obama fan?’


Johnny said, ‘Because I’m a Libertarian.’


The teacher asked him why he’s a Libertarian.

Little Johnny answered, ‘Well, my Mom’s a Libertarian and my Dad’s a Libertarian, so I’m a Libertarian.’


Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, ‘If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?’


With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, ‘That would make me an Obama fan.’
————–

ZING!

Just got this from my sister-in-law.

It’s kinda long, so it’s below the fold, but you’ll like it, so read it.

That’s an order.&#160

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It’s 9%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that’s 16%.

COSTELLO: You just said 9%.

ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 16%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 16% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 9%…

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE.

Is it 9% or 16%?

ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.

COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed.

You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn’t look for work, can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment roles, that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don’t look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That’s how Obama gets it to 9%.

Otherwise it would be 16%. He doesn’t want you to read about 16% unemployment.

COSTELLO: That would be tough on his reelection.

ABBOTT: Absolutely.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have Obama’s supporters stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like the Obama Economy Czar.

COSTELLO: I don’t even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like Obama.

And the final word, Denizens, from the Demoscummic National Circle-Jerk Convention Circle-Jerk…comes from none other than the Patron Skank Saint For Abortion&#153, Ms.&#160 Gloria Allred:

Feminist lawyer Gloria Allred told The Daily Caller that she is supporting President Obama because he “cares” about protecting women’s rights while Republican nominee Mitt Romney will “take away our contraceptives.”

[…]

“Do I trust Romney and Ryan with my reproductive rights and the control over my body and my daughter’s and my granddaughter’s body? Absolutely not. This is not close,” Allred said.

Trust me, Glory baby…you have no worries when it comes to your “reproductive rights” and your right to an abortion.

Your face is doing a kick-ass job of that all on its own.

Hell, how you ever coaxed that p-whipped beta-male of yours to even get within 50 feet&#160 of that&#160 Bermuda Triangle is beyond me.&#160

I got this from Professor Mentu over at the University of Man blog, who in turn got it from Comedy Central’s (?) Tosh.0.

See if you don’t find yourself nodding your head at least once.&#160 Whilst trying to not have a coronary from laughing yer ass off.&#160 (It’s mildly NSFW, but it’s not that bad.)

Fret not, Denizens. The PFW overview is on its way.

(H/T to Government Gone Wild)

Just had to post this AWESOME retort to dictator-wannabe Al-Obambi and his commie/Marxist/socialist attitude towards businesses specifically — not to mention anti-American agenda in general…

Excuse me while I very un-General-like ROFLMAO!!!!!

ThatIsAll&#153

Denizens, we start this week with something out of the Grab Bag&#153, courtesy of the Sibling Unit&#153, who just sent this to me.

Dear Airlines:


Dump the male flight Attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!

What the hell!!

They don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a “partyatmosphere” going in the cabin.

And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money.

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win- win situation if we handle it right — a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn’t Bush or Obama think of this?

Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

Well, if that doesn’t jump-start the aviation industry…&#160

(Hat tip:&#160 Hoft.)

ITEM:&#160 A couple days ago, B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi accused the Republicans in general (and President Bush in particular of sticking him with a trillion-dollar deficit.

“I love it when these guys talk about debt and deficits,” Obama told supporters in Baltimore. “I inherited a trillion dollar deficit.”

[…]

“It’s like somebody goes to a restaurant, orders a big steak dinner, a martini and all that stuff, then just as you’re sitting down they leave and accuse you of running up the tab,” Obama said.

ITEM:&#160 Today, B. HUSSEIN&#160 Obambi…stuck someone else with a bill.

Amid the bustle of President Obama’s surprise stop for barbecue Wednesday the White House apparently overlooked one key detail: the bill.

Celebrating Father’s Day early, the president had lunch with two service members and two local barbers at Kenny’s BBQ on Capitol Hill.

As the group chatted about fatherhood, the president enjoyed a steaming plate of pork ribs with hot sauce, collard greens, red beans and rice and cornbread.

The bill for the president and his four guests was $55.58, but was left unpaid at the point of sale, according to pool reports.

I’d use my standard line here, but I might be accused of being…wait for it…RAAAAACIST!!!!!!!!!

(snort)

Besides…it’s down there in the categories anyway.&#160

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money. ” ― Margaret Thatcher

And the last word on the glorious Scott Walker victory in Wisconsin comes from this whiny little nadless, needle-dicked pusstard.

“We’re not just disappointed, this is the end of democracy. We just got outspent $34 million to $4 million.

“And because we couldn’t embezzle dues from Repukelican union members for our boy Barrett like we used to, it’s the END OF DEMOCRACY!!!!&#160 UNFAIR!!!!!&#160 (sob!!!)”

This was the biggest election in America

“…and we just got our socialist asses handed to us!&#160 WAAAAAAAAH!!!!!”

and I hope he keep me on tonight because this hurts us all

“…and I need to cement my reputation as the face of the crybaby Demoscum party before my 15 minuts of fame are totally up, dude!!!&#160 14:41, 14:42, 14:43…”

Every single one of you out there in the nation, if you’re watching, democracy died tonight,” an emotional proponent of Scott Walker’s recall told a CNN correspondent in Wisconsin on Tuesday night.

“Because we didn’t get our cookie!!!.&#160 BOO HOO HOO HOOO…!!!!

“I’m very emotional because we all had invested in this. This was it. If we didn’t win tonight, the end of the U.S. as we know it just happened. This is it. We just got outspent $34 million to $4 million. And we don’t have any more resource left but the people you see here behind me. And if the people you see here behind me can’t get it done tonight, it’s done. Democracy’s dead,” the man said.

Shorter:&#160 WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!1!1!ONE!!!!ELEVENTYTEENQUADRILLION!!!!!!!!&#160 (schnuffle)

Great Honkin’ Cthulhu, how I do&#160 lurrrrve the smell of patchouli-fried libtard crybaby in the morning…&#160