Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

Denizens, remember the bake sales your school would have when you were growing up?&#160 Yer mom would bake a cake, or a pie, or cupcakes, or blueberry muffins, or banana-nut cake, and take it down for you, your schoolmates and their folks to enjoy.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Great.&#160 Now I’m all hungry.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Yeah, I know.&#160 I’ll see if Mrs. Venomous can whip up some muffins for ye.

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 She’d do that for us?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Sure.&#160 Not like she can do it for me, what with the diabetes & the low-carb diet ‘n all.

MERLIN:&#160 Schweet.

Anyway, it was a fun thing to do, and usually it benefitted some worthy cause or other – band, choir, a Cub Scout troop, whatever.

Naturally, the Demoscum can’t stand to see Americans enjoying themselves, so here comes the First Wookiee…

CHEWBACCA:&#160 ROWARRRRRRR!!!!!

…uh, the First Klingon…

[Korrioth uses one massive hand to goozle His Rudeness by the throat.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 Suggest you try again, m’liege.

…(ulp)…uh…the First Nossican?

KORRIOTH, K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Better, sir.

CHEWBACCA:&#160 …urf, urf, urf…

Ain’t no pleasing some people.

Anyway, Her Wide-Assedness told the Imperial Socalist Congress&#153 to jump, they got on collective knee, kissed her fat ass and asked “How high?”, and this bullshit is the result.

A child nutrition bill on its way to President Barack Obama — and championed by the first lady — gives the government power to limit school bake sales and other fundraisers that health advocates say sometimes replace wholesome meals in the lunchroom.

“This could be a real train wreck for school districts,” Lucy Gettman of the National School Boards Association said Friday, a day after the House cleared the bill. “The federal government should not be in the business of regulating this kind of activity at the local level.”

If Bambi signs this piece-of-shit, it could be a real train wreck for the Demoscum in 2012.&#160 Not bad enough that they’ve moved to throw our economy in the shitter; not bad enough that they want to tell us we have&#160 to buy health insurance – now they wanna tell us we can’t even have bake sales???

The legislation, part of first lady Michelle Obama’s campaign to stem childhood obesity, provides more meals at school for needy kids, including dinner

…by which time the little rug-rats ought to be home anyway – but don’t let those inconvenient little facts get in the First Nossican’s way.

and directs the Agriculture Department to write guidelines to make those meals more healthful. The bill would apply to all foods sold in schools during regular class hours, including in the cafeteria line, in vending machines and at fundraisers.

It wouldn’t apply to after-hours events or concession stands at sports events.

Oh, but you just know&#160 they’d either try to find a way around that, or else repeal that little provision within three years.

I would honest-to-Cthulu like to see some dickless little bureaucratic pissweasel with a bad combover just try&#160 to enforce any&#160 of this BS.

The fuckhead had best bring a slew of bodyguards with him.&#160 IYKWIMAITYD.

The RCOB&#153 is in full effect.

This one COULD almost fall into the black pot kettle category, but the progressives are so predictable even that category is getting redundant ad nauseum.  Plus, I’m too lazy today to go back and find out where the counter was last at.

Anyways, most of the talking heads on the boob tube today have been squawking about this incident over in Austin this morning.  Being that this happened at 0830-ish Central Time, the clearly predictable anti-Second Amendment crowd has most certainly clogged the telephone lines of every whack-job Congresscritter in DC that will listen to them with cries of “BAN GUNS”.

Yo, numbnuts….the AK-47 is already a banned weapon.  Your laws they ain’t no workee so guud when a 19 year-old skull full of mush can not only parade the piece around a university campus but then also decides to take pot shots as well.  Lucky for the locals, said skull of mush was a lousy shot.  Or then again, maybe not.  Said skull is now residing in the morgue thanks to a self-inflicted GSW. 

So help me if there are new reports that come out in the nect week or so that state the reason said skull of mush went haywire is because mommie and daddy were going to vote for the TEA party candidate OR because junior lost his minimum wage job to a person of Jewish faith I will summarily start a full-blown RCOB while foaming at the mouth like Cujo.

Heck, I have to stop here before I have to get the emergency roll of duct tape to keep my head from exploding.

In this thread over at Pajamas Media, where they’re talking about Arizona’s inherent right to enforce federal immigration law, a commenter named Sharpshooter brings up a magnificent point – one that could qualify for Comment Of The Year&#153.

Why do the states and their agencies have to enforce Federal drugs laws, etc?

That, in a nutshell, could be considered People’s Exhibit Number One&#153 as to why Arizona’s law must be allowed to stand.

If 1070 is overturned, it sets a catastrophically dangerous precedent for any state ignoring federal drug laws, laws against murder, robbery, etc.&#160 Calfornication, for example, could easily decide that it no longer has to enforce federal drug laws – not that they do now, anyway, but you get the point.

Bambi and Eric Holder would do very well to drop this POS lawsuit, and avoid the potential unintended consequence.

They won’t, of course – you could put their combined brains in a thimble and still have room left over for my thumb – but they should.

After giving more thought to the Shirley Sherrod episode, and also considering other actions of our current elected leadership, I have concluded that the Obama administration best resembles a community of simians performing unnatural procreational activities upon an ellipsoid pigskin bladder.

It now appears that the Obama administration wants Ms Sherrod back so badly that they have created a job especially for her. That they are willing to go to such lengths is an indication of just how much egg the Obama clowns have on their faces.

It is to laugh!

(Hat tip RedState.)

This should surprise absolutely no one.

When Congress required most Americans to obtain health insurance or pay a penalty, Democrats denied that they were creating a new tax. But in court, the Obama administration and its allies now defend the requirement as an exercise of the government’s “power to lay and collect taxes.”

And that power, they say, is even more sweeping than the federal power to regulate interstate commerce.

Administration officials say the tax argument is a linchpin of their legal case in defense of the health care overhaul and its individual mandate, now being challenged in court by more than 20 states and several private organizations.

Under the legislation signed by President Obama in March, most Americans will have to maintain “minimum essential coverage” starting in 2014. Many people will be eligible for federal subsidies to help them pay premiums.

And I will still refuse to pay it.

(Hat tip Doug Powers, writing for Michelle.)

Oh, how lovely.&#160 The Ayatollah is on yet another vacation.

BAR HARBOR — Julia Freifeld, of Raleigh, N.C., was absolutely certain she knew where the Obamas would make a stop during their weekend getaway on Mount Desert Island.

She staked out Ben & Bill’s Chocolate Emporium on Main Street in Bar Harbor [, Maine – Ed.].

“They are going to bring their daughters here,” she said Friday afternoon.

Ah, but Denizens – that’s not the worst of it.&#160 Oh hell&#160 no.

Arriving in a small jet before the Obamas was the first dog, Bo, a Portuguese water dog given as a present by the late U.S. Sen Ted Kennedy, D-Mass.; and the president’s personal aide Reggie Love, who chatted with Baldacci.

That’s right, sportz fanz.&#160 The First Mutt&#153 gets his own.&#160 Fucking.&#160 Plane.

While the rest of us are taking pay cuts in this economy – that is to say, those of us fortunate enough&#160 to even have&#160 jobs – Jugears McFuckinHopenchange screws the pooch that is the United States even further&#160 by making sure li’l Bo-Bo has his own bad-ass self his very own first-class seat.

Air traffic at the small Hancock County-Bar Harbor Airport in Trenton was shut down for the presidential arrival. A U.S. Coast Guard helicopter patrolled the air in anticipation of the first family’s touchdown, and a pair of local fire and rescue trucks stood ready on an otherwise empty tarmac at the private air hangar.

The Obamas then traveled onto Mount Desert Island in a motorcade of at least 16 vehicles. It was led by two Maine State Police cruisers and included five black Chevrolet Suburbans.

Meanwhile, the unemployment rate hovers at nine-and-a-half percent.&#160 And it’s that low only because of all the folks who’ve long-since given up looking for work.&#160 Include them, and unemployment stands somewhere around 18%.

All while Bambi goes, plays Yet Another Round Of Golf&#153, takes the First Brats for yet more ice cream, goes on another “date night” with the First Wookiee&#153 – and makes Big Production Numbers&#153 out of the whole thing.

You’re a son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch, Bambi.&#160 Fuck you, you effing schlemiel, that stupid-assed mutt and&#160 the horses you both rode in on.

(Hat tip Doug Powers, writing for Michelle.)

Joey “BiteMe” Biden, aka Captain Gaffetastic, was at it again.

Here is video of Vice-President Joe Biden at Kopp’s Frozen Custard in the Milwaukee area, where he was appearing with Democrat Sen. Russ Feingold. The two were eating custard there, and when Biden approached the manager with some money and asked, “What do I owe you,” the manager just responded, “Lower our taxes and we’ll call it even.” Biden later jokingly called the manager a “smart-ass,” telling him, “Why don’t you say something nice?”

Biden was clearly not expecting that! Great response!

Hell, that was&#160 nice.&#160 My&#160 response would started out, “Listen up, you son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch…”

Well, if I’m to believe the reports, Stanley McChrystal is out as the top commander in Afghanistan.

Which is appropriate, quite honestly.&#160 Fact of the matter is, even though McChrystal is bang-on right about Bambi, the UCMJ, per Blackfive, clearly prohibits what McChrystal did, which is criticize the limp, flaccid, impotent Commander-in-Chief.

I do believe that McChrystal clearly knows what he was doing.&#160 You can’t say what he said to a media outlet – even if it is&#160 Rolling Stone – and not expect that the White House won’t see it.

But maybe that was Mac’s plan all along.&#160 Either he’s so desperate for the welfare of his men that he had to find some way to get Bambi’s attention – or maybe he’s finally had enough of the Ayatollah’s dithering, dillying & dallying and just wants out.&#160 (Yes, he could have just resigned, but this makes more of an impact, I think.)

Whatever the motivation, the action speaks to Jugears McHopenchange’s sheer inability to effectively command his forces.&#160 The war in Afghanistan under Bambi’s oversight has turned decidedly negative.

Hussein Pasha’s surge, unlike Bush’s in Iraq, has all but failed in Afghanistan.&#160 Bambi is not very respected, either among his troops or amongst America’s allies.&#160 He has done nothing overseas except apologize, seemingly, for America’s mere existence to those people America rightly considers either her enemies or folks not to be trusted.

Small wonder, therefore, that most of the rest of the world believes Ear Leader to be in over his head.&#160 Even smaller wonder that morale amongst the troops in Afghanistan appears to be at a low point.

Moral has gone down the toilet. The troops are pissed about the ROE’s, they don’t like our pussy President, and they know we are just spinning our wheels.

Indeed.&#160 I shudder to think of the endgame under this scenario.

(Hat tip:&#160 Dan Riehl.)

So help me Cthulu, I don’t know whether to laugh my ass off or issue a CSITMF&#153.

KORRIOTH:&#160 That depends.&#160 Do you want a horde of Secret Service agents at your door?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Guess it’s time to roll on the floor, huh?

MERLIN:&#160 We’d say so, m’liege.

Here, Denizens, come have a look at this:

Ex-fuckin’-scuse me?&#160 “Whose ass to kick”?!?!?!?!?!?!

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Does seem a little out of place, doesn’t it, Admiral?

VENOMOUS:&#160 “Whose ass&#160 to kick”?????

KORRIOTH:&#160 I perceive you’re having some difficulty getting past that part of the interview.

VENOMOUS:&#160 “Whose ass&#160 to kick”?!?!!!1!!ONE!1!ELEVENTEENTY!?!

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 He’s having trouble with it.

Let’s be clear about one thing, sports fans.&#160 Bambi is, without any doubt or question whatsoever, the biggest pussy&#160 ever to occupy the White House – and yes, I’m including Jimmuh “Peanuthead” Carter in that group.&#160 This wussbag wouldn’t last five minutes against my dear, sainted grandmother (God rest her soul).&#160 This pansy-ass would not only hit&#160 like a girl, he’d slap-fight&#160 like a girl, too.

And he’s going to (snx)…to…(snnnnick)…to…(mmmmmf)…“kick some ass”

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!! (snort)

(Sorry, Denizens.&#160 I’m gonna be out of pocket for a few hours.&#160 Anyone got some oxygen?)

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!!!!11!1!ELEVENDOZENTY!1!1!!!!!

Item:&#160 A rat upstaged the Ayatollah Obambi the other day:

Obama had just begun an afternoon statement to reporters lauding the end of a Senate filibuster on his financial overhaul plan when some kind of rodent — opinions differ on which — dashed out of the bushes to his right, just outside the Oval Office.

[…]

In fact, this wasn’t the first time a rodent’s been spied in the White House, or even the Rose Garden.

Just last week, as camera crews set up for an Obama statement on the Gulf oil spill, what’s believed to have been the same rodent made a dash across the famous garden.

Item:&#160 A commenter in this thread, philometh, had the line of the day:

“…what’s believed to have been the same rodent made a dash across the famous garden.”

Give me a break. They can track the exact rodents but not find the illegals??

This would be so damned hellaciously funny…if it wasn’t true.&#160

(Hat tip to News Busters – and I know it sounds like their post, but I’m going to plead a Great Minds Think Alike&#153 moment here, mkay?)

Denizens, remember a Long Time Ago&#153 when the Demoscum and the Lame Stream Media&#153 (but I repeat myself) ripped into GHW Bush’s supposed unfamiliarity with grocery scanners?&#160 And the not-too-terribly-unexpected corollary that “He’s!&#160 Out!&#160 Of!&#160 Touch!&#160 He!&#160 Doesn’t!&#160 Even!&#160 Know!&#160 The!&#160 Cost!&#160 Of!&#160 A!&#160 Gallon!&#160 Of!&#160 Milk!!!!!”?

Fast foward twenty years:&#160 The Ayatollah doesn’t even know how to work a fucking IPod.

“You’re coming of age in a 24/7 media environment that bombards us with all kinds of content and exposes us to all kinds of arguments, some of which don’t always rank all that high on the truth meter,” Obama said at Hampton University, Virginia.

You mean like all the bullshit you’re spewing at BarackObama.com?&#160 Or, perhaps, at OrganizingForAmerica.com?&#160 That&#160 sort of stuff?

“With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations, — none of which I know how to work — information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation,” Obama said.

Five’ll get you five hundred that you never hear about Bambi’s IPod Impotence&#153 amongst the Leering Leftard Lapdogs&#153 of the media.&#160 They’ll sooner be covering the story about how Simon Cowell still wuvs his mummy.

He bemoaned the fact that “some of the craziest claims can quickly claim traction,” in the clamor of certain blogs and talk radio outlets.

Translation:&#160 Damn&#160 those Right-o-sphere bloggers for catching me with my pants down on the BP oil spill!!1!!ONE!!1!1ELEVENTY!!!

Somebody call ol’ Jugears a waaaaaaaahmbulance, hmmmers?&#160

Well, it’s not the excoriation Bush received for Katrina – but all things considered, it still ain’t bad:

The New York Times Saturday made it clear that it is willing to fault the Obama administration for its response to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

On top of the editorial previously reviewed by NewsBusters, the Gray Lady published a front page piece largely critical of the White House.

Too little too late for the Senile Gray Lady&#153, which keep hemorrhaging readers at an alarming rate.

But what the hell.&#160 For the time being, it’s theatre.

(Hat tip Villainous Company via Hot Air.)

You would think that, by now, the Demoscum would have learned to keep Bambi on the teleprompter.

Keep him on-message, he’s only mildly inadequate.&#160 Get him off&#160 the teleprompter…well, this is what you get:

We’re not, we’re not trying to push financial reform because we begrudge success that’s fairly earned. I mean, I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money. But, you know, part of the American way is, you know, you can just keep on making it if you’re providing a good product or providing good service. We don’t want people to stop, ah, fulfilling the core responsibilities of the financial system to help grow our economy.&#160 (Emphasis added)

Per the transcript supplied by Hot Air, only the last part of that blurb came anywhere close to resembling what the prepared remarks actually were.

Which, for me, begs the question:&#160 Bambi, what the fuck&#160 business is it of yours, of any bastard in that half-assed Al-Obambi excuse-for-a-government you have there – or, for that matter, any&#160 Demoscum, what&#160 is “enough” money for me, Mrs. Venomous, or any&#160 American to make?&#160 Hmmmmmmm?

Take your “pay czar”, your “core responsibilities”, your “spread the wealth” religion, your gaffetastic excuse-for-a-veep’s “time to be part of the deal” bullshit, turn it all sideways and shove it up your skanky, swishy ASS,&#160 you ball-less, chain-smoking, “children-are-a-punishment” son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch!!!!!

Villainous C. seems to think this was Bambi’s “Read My Lips” moment.&#160 I tend to think he was one-and-done anyway – this just seals it.

Couldn’t happen to a more stupid-assed bunch of imbeciles.

Item:&#160 The Conservatives4Palin blog reports that Timmy Tax-Cheat Tim Geithner Timmy Tax-Cheat says he never had a real job.

And this assclown is in charge of the United States Treasury.

Last year, Bambi got his skanky little ass ab-so-friggin’-lutely roasted&#160 at Major League Baseball’s All-Star because – well – he throws like a fucking girl.

MERLIN:&#160 Isn’t that a little offensive to, y’know, girls?

VENOMOUS:&#160 What of it?&#160 Here, have a look for yerself.

MERLIN:&#160 Ew.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Gross.

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 The p’tahk.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Damn.&#160 Just, damn.

So you’d think he’d bone up on his delivery, right?&#160 I mean, he’s got time to be doing March Madness brackets, piss off our allies and make an embarrassment of himself in general, right?

Here (s)he is at Opening Day yesterday for the Washington Nationals’ game against the Philadelphia Phillies:

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Oh.&#160 My.&#160 Gawd.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Great.&#160 Honkin’.&#160 Cthulu.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Pathetic.

MERLIN:&#160 Didn’t learn much from last year, did he?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Sad thing is that he was probably the best pitcher for the Nationals yesterday.&#160 Phillies destroyed ’em, 11-1.

RAYEGUN:&#160 That’s Washington for ya.&#160 First in war, first in peace…

ALL:&#160 …last in the National League.&#160